A Letter to the Narcissist – No. 11




Life around you has been the proverbial dog chasing his own tail.
Each and evey moment..you ..manipulating me and others. I have stepped back,watched and went along with you calling me names..you yourself really are….
“faults”…you yourself needed to fix.
Impossible tasks, jumping through hoops,….all has to be accomplish being a better person. All except YOU. You just told me..you are going to kill 2 more people..then called me..a terrible person and woman…wow.
I watched you throw that red phone in the creek years ago to get away from killing people.
Heard calls from the CDC. Listened to you..and you..and you..you..you..All the while ignoring what I wanted and needed.
You act strangled…yet at times you..strangled me to the point u GPS ED me. Snatched and destroyed phones out of my hand. Told me who I could or could not see.

Here is the “All you have done to me list”.
I lost thousands of dollars..because of you.
Child support. Over once again you getting in my business with my daughter.
You verbally assaulted a minor..telling her that her father was a piece of crap.
Assaulted me while drunk many times.
Told good people..I am violent..stalker..psycho..while not telling them..you are violent and have cheated on me an all the women you have used.

Bragged about being a Master Stalker to kill people for hire.
Controlling..telling good people I have tried to control you.
Lied about how many times you were married.
Lied about seeing your Ex.
Lied about being a plant manager
Lied about cheating on your Ex with a married woman.
Lied to others about your violent behavior to women..stating I was Violent,when you have been.
Betrayed me with Brenda.
Told me Brenda was a psycho
If you did this, though the years how many others did you lie to me about?
Betrayed me with Tom, Ted, Todd, Mike, and  many others.
Lied about land/money deals/drugs/past.
You used times I was down an needed you, to pull rug out from under me..then wonder why you have been investigated and researched.

I looked in your safe an saw dui papers. condomns an man up pills, also cucumbers in your dresser drawers and going camping at Nolin, with your intent to use them…on me…without my wishes.
Let me speak this again….without my wishes.

Never did I ask want or need cucumbers /vegetables or life like penis dildos for the enjoyment of sex. Apparently…you needed them.you needed them.you needed them.you needed them. Or just wanted to punish me.

If you asked..that would have been different.you did not ask.you felt you were above asking.   It was a big deal. You being the incredible brain you state you are ..you knew this.
What are you going to say about it?

Assaulted me and went to Jail for it..
Threatened me after Jail…

Locked me out of the trailer and I slept in the cold car during Winter. While you slept drunk as a baby. All while I paid rent.

Told me to you other men and you and it was okay.
So you could use it against me like a weapon.

Tried to talk me into threesomes.

Tried to get me with you, to kill my Ex husband

Tried to get me to buy Countetfeit Money.

Gave me Counterfeit money..without telling me

I have seen  you so drunk you were a big fool.too many times to count. Snort pills like their is no tommorrow.

I have had sex and felt afraid around you..especially you demanding bj,s for rent.

You cracked my tailbone, choked me against my car an your truck.

You pulled me by the hair and put cold water all the while threathening me if I did not give you a great blow job…

All this when you said..you LOVED ME?
So..I betrayed you?

33 thoughts on “A Letter to the Narcissist – No. 11

  1. analise13 says:

    Banana, my heart feels for what you suffered
    What a brute! A Lesser!
    That list is unimaginable to me.
    I am so sorry you lived through it.

  2. Patricia J says:

    I am not seeing any comments from all the blogs now.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I bet you are now.

  3. nikitalondon says:

    An the winner is !!!!! The narcissist of all times, the one with the best devotion to being malignant!!!!
    Hope you moved on and recovered Banana!!

    The dildos and the cucumbers are okay arent they 😜😜😜😜

  4. Lisa says:

    What a bastard! I truly hope you are out now Banana. Not much more to say…

  5. kimmichaud1 says:

    A classic lessor I can’t relate to most because thank god I was never with a lessor he sounds like a real charmer I say with the greatest of sarcasm the only thing I relate to is the cucumber I knew immediately what you were referencing as I had a former boyfriend who shopped frequently for cucumbers without my consent come to think of it he forced a bj on our first date holy shit I was with a lessor before omg

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Lesser, not lessor. He doesn’t let property.

      1. Typos. Pot.kettle.black 😉

      2. Kim michaud says:

        Lol touche’

  6. Suzie says:

    My ex was not OBVIOUSLY a bad guy like the one mentioned. If he cheated I didn’t know anything about it. He was dependable in most situations. He never called me horrible names. I finally realized that doing anything OBVIOUS was not his M.O. He wanted do do everything subtly, twist everything around to where he was the VICTIM. I think a part of him really thought he was a VICTIM. He couldn’t see that he was a perpetrator. He wasn’t a DESIGNATED criminal, didn’t have much of anything on his record. Didn”t obviously try to rip people off or cheat them in business. He has good ratings on ANGIES list. He always worked hard. He didn’t do most things in an obvious way. Consequently he was actually more DANGEROUS. He came across as a friendly, helpful, hard working guy. Part of that was true. The part that wasn’t apparent was his incredible, calculating deviousness. He didn’t do anything that he could actually be arrested for. He was much too smart for that. He knew how to PUSH everything to the limits of the LAW. I finally realize he was a MASTERMIND manipulator and actor. He knew how to look INNOCENT and get sympathy playing the VICTIM. He had friends in law enforcement. He knew the LAW well. He was extrememly good at what he did. A MASTERMIND, sneaky, deceitful, liar who slipped under the radar.

  7. Yolo says:


    I pray you and your daugter are safe and on your way to healing. He’s a psychopath piece of trash. Get some help, especially for your daughter. I pray for healing and restoration and above all that you daughter knows that not how people are to treat each other.

    God Bless you

  8. K says:

    I am truly sorry for the viciousness and the heartbreak that you have suffered with such callous disregard at the hands of that savage. Your letter was quite distressing to read and you articulated your horror so well, that I felt acquainted to your reality as I studied your missive. You weathered such terrible crimes, you did the best that you could do in the circumstances that you were given and you are completely blameless. I will carry your pain in my heart and I wish you well.

  9. narc affair says:

    Oh my im speechless after reading this 🙁 whoever you are youve suffered greatly at the hands of imo someone very deranged. I wish i could wipe the slate of your past with this monster and he is a monster…clean. no human or animal deserves to be treated the way you have been treated. My heart hurts after reading your letter. You deserve sooo much more in your lifetime! Youre unique and valuable to this world please see this and dont ever let anyone do to you what this freak did to you. Please promise yourself you wont. I hope in time you can heal the scars of your past and realise what a beautiful person you are and that you are meant to be loved and cherished not violated and abused the way you have been. Ty for sharing your painful journey 💓

  10. Noname says:

    Unfortunately, your man is incurable, Banana. Nothing in this world could help him. Nothing.

    Live and do everything to improve your daughter’s and your own lives. It wouldn’t be an easy way from the darkness, but don’t stop.

    Absolute “no contact” is a key point for your (and your daughter) physical and mental survival. If you have a chance to move somewhere else, use it. I wish you good luck.

  11. Patricia J says:

    I am 3 1/2 months Narc Free..no contact. I learned this week, After I left he got a job at a favtory. He just got fired for sexual Harrassment An drug /Alc abuse. He was havi g a affair with a office personal for favors and women in the factory.

    He is getting a follow up jab letter that states:

    To: Fired Unit Inspector/Plastic Popper
    From: Your Previous Employer

    Re: Drug/Alchol/Sexual Addictikn

    You can access your local Agents for help concerning your addictions. Stsy away from us!

  12. Patricia J says:

    Believe it or not..this guy is a ALCHOLIC Magligant GN. Yes lessers…and MRN..cannot control their Anger. When I met him..my Ex was a lesser Narc who assaulted me.
    He protrayed himself to be my rescuer.. to save me and ended up using that to punish me. Wow.

  13. MyTrueSef says:

    Yet you “ betrayed” him!?. A perfect expression of the mindset of a psychopath.
    Banana I’m so sorry for what you went through. I hope you are in a safe place and a able to process what went on so you can walk tall, holding high the shining light that is you.
    A big hug 🤗

  14. Windstorm2 says:

    I also hope you are away from him and no longer in danger. I wonder if you got entangled with him very young from your environment. That’s an all too common tragedy I’ve witnessed as a teacher. Good luck in your healing and your life. ❤️

    1. Patricia J says:

      Hello WS 2
      I was with him off an on 12 years. Went thru the Narc cycle 4 times with him. I started to research an do antidotiol notes on him about 4 years ago. He is a mag GN.
      I am no dummy.

  15. ANK says:


    How on earth did you put up with such a vile creature? You suffered so much. I hope you are in a better place.

    1. Mrs Linton says:

      So sorry Banana, it’s fear in the end that makes you stay, but fear that gets you out too.

    2. Not So Sad says:

      Hi ANK .

      I think like many of us the abuse was so slow & insidious that Banana accepted it because it became the ” norm”

      If someone had said to me at the beginning of my relationship with a narc that I would be regularly beaten & coerced into do things that were at the time repugnant to me I would never have believed them .
      The same applies when I was asked to sleep with other men ..

      Somehow along the way we become so controlled that we loose sight of reality .
      It’s like wading in quick sand,you know you have to get out but every time you struggle against it the deeper you sink until eventually, emotionally exhausted you give in and accept it for what it is sadly .

      1. ANK says:

        Hi Not So Sad,

        I didn’t mean my comment to come across as criticism/blame/or judgemental, and Banana if it did I apologise.

        My comment on putting up with such atrocious behaviour was more about amazement at Banana’s strength in enduring all that she described.

        1. Not So Sad says:

          Not at all ANK .. 🙂

          Sorry if my reply sounded that way . x

          1. ANK says:

            Not all NSS.

            Good to see comments on the whys and wherefores. All helps with understanding. x

  16. M. says:

    Jesus Christ!(and I am not that religious). I hope you have left this creature,Banana. Having read some of these letters, I understand that my case was one of the lightest. I can’t believe what some of the women in here have gone through…I mean, I believe it of course, I just can’t accept it. It makes me furious.

    1. PinkBrokenwings says:

      I’ve read these my heart breaks…. I thought what I endure is bull shit… but these letters are painfully tragic …

  17. The guy in the picture certainly looks like he is capable of all that and more.

  18. PinkBrokenwings says:

    So horrible… I’m sorry you endured all that

  19. Sniglet says:

    This guy sounds like a lesser narcissist. The living situation he created for the writer was incredibly difficult, nothing loving about it. Hopefully Banana slipped out of his diabolical hold.

    1. narc affair says:

      Definitely a lowlife lesser!

  20. youngone says:

    Every Letter I read lacks one thing…actual Love…

  21. Paula Sarno says:

    Perfect final .
    What a horrible lesser narc …

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