Every Victim Is Lying


I must adopt the standpoint that every one of my victims is lying. There is no hope for me to be any different. You level accusations at me and I know you are lying because the comments make no sense to me. I gave you a fabulous and perfect love and you accepted that. You willingly entered into a union with me and with that you received my largesse and favour. You did not demur or hesitate. Instead, you embraced everything wonderful about what I gave you. Be it the expensive gifts, eloquent expressions of my love or the seemingly never-ending array of glamorous occasions to attend, you took them all. Do you have any idea how much energy I channelled into doing this for you? The repeated text messages, the “sudden appearances” which were in fact carefully crafted and organised, the many telephone calls that I made to you at all different times? All of that took a considerable effort on my part. Yet now, when I am tired and I lose my temper you accuse me of not caring. How can I not care? I am with you am I not? Have you forgotten everything that I ever did for you? It seems to me that you have. What was that vow you said with such enthusiasm, for better and for worse? You have had the better (in fact you received the best) and now it is time for some of the worse, yet you will not tolerate that will you? No, it is clear that you lied. You lied when we got married because now you are reneging on that vow. How do you think that makes me feel? Is it any surprise that I am angry with you when you question me since you have no standing to do so?

You accuse me of not listening. That is another lie. What is there for me to hear? You trot out the same old allegations which are unfounded. At times I cannot discern what you are actually saying because you are so hysterical. How on earth can I listen to you when you behave like that? It is downright unreasonable. You go off and complain about me to your friends and family. That is charming. You are denigrating me in their eyes and that is uncalled for. Yes, I may do it about you, but that is with some justification I might add. You also said you would forsake all others, yet how many times have I caught you flirting with other men from your workplace? What about those pictures of you and your friends with those men you met in a bar which were posted on Facebook. You thought I would not see them didn’t you? Yes, I keep a careful eye on what your friends’ post as they are not to be trusted, leading you astray when you promised that you would do not. Is it any wonder I feel compelled to spend time with other people when you treat me like this?

You accepted everything wonderful that I gave you and now when it is time to give back and add some balance to the equation you seek to escape your responsibilities by accusing me of all manner of misdemeanours and malevolent behaviour. Your hypocrisy sticks in my craw. I know your game, I have you in my eye. You are seeking to deflect attention from your own wrongdoing by telling lies about me. Ha! I have you worked out missy, I always have and you are not as smart as me. You deliberately misunderstand what I say. You imply and insinuate when I have made myself clear. I will not be beaten by your mendacity, no I will not. I will stand strong and ensure that I reflect back on to you the lies you have told. I must do this to avoid your desire to crush and destroy my fragile self with your perfidious ways. I never knew you could be so evil.

12 thoughts on “Every Victim Is Lying

  1. whereisgod says:

    Text book….blame the victim. Let the one I know tell it…ALLLLLL of his ex’s would want him back because he was the perfect mate. Any time one of them call to inquire about him he swears he could get them back if he wanted to. See, I am the lucky one. I should be grateful he chose me. I have it made…out of all the ones he left behind, he chose me. Therefore I must overlook all the condemnation, the insults hurled at me when he is slighted, the comparisons made between me and the other women who “know how to be women” I must over look the lack of empathy, lack of emotional connection and ZERO compassion. I must over look the silent treatments also given after perceived offenses no matter how slight…. I should be ashamed of myself…because he claims not to do all the other things like cheat and beat…. Let me go sit in the corner until I understand how grateful I should be. SMH

    1. Patty says:

      I know this very well.

  2. Diva says:

    “I never knew you could be so evil.”………it’s funny……..I didn’t know either, well not until……… ALONG CAME A NARC!!!!! Sometimes you have to fight fire with fire just to extinguish it…….(although my version of evil probably bears no resemblance to yours HG.)……Diva

  3. angela says:

    of course i fuck him..when he stop his lier..of course i am e evil. too .when he start to be a evil..yes i change because he change..

  4. Hope says:

    HG, have you ever dated a very independent Empath who didn’t feel it was proper to accept expensive gifts from a man she’s dating?
    And, if so – how did you respond?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I have engaged with strong and independent empathic victims but they have always accepted gifts.

      1. Diva says:

        I bet it took an hour to unwrap those gifts. I visualise fancy boxes tied with metres of string or twine……..triple knotted…….Diva

  5. Patricia J says:

    You gave me everything..except being Authenic.

  6. Holy Reality says:

    It’s been quite a while since I’ve posted anything. This one hits the nail on the head. I have met someone who has had a relationship with a narcissist and we discuss every issue, trigger etc. We sit and talk constructively. It has created a unique and special bond. Coming from someone who was completely devastated and lost in loving the unloveable. There’s hope and new light! It’s a painful fucken process! But it does happen!

    1. Patricia J says:

      I love your name….it is so befitting.

    2. Patty says:

      Yes it does. One foot in front of the other every day. Have faith in yourself.

  7. Karen Barnard Kouri Tynes says:

    I have read this so many times I will have it committed to memory!! How many of u could have written this. I have to give HG Tudor more than thanks!! For helping me to be able to vocalize what I am experiencing and feeling. When we do lock war of words– I am often at a loss– caught off guard… because I am “normal” level headed and reasonable! Getting caught in a circle of nonsensical verbiage is a no win situation. But articles like this keeps me going… am saving it!! Thanks!!

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