Little Acons – No. 10
A series of memes which encapsulates the mind set of the narcissistic parent towards their child resulting in the creation of the Adult Child of a Narcissist.
A series of memes which encapsulates the mind set of the narcissistic parent towards their child resulting in the creation of the Adult Child of a Narcissist.
But I cannot succeed when you subject me to constant emotion extortion!
Succeed…just don’t be more successful than me.
Even if you do succeed youll never have their love bc they dont have it to give. Only fake love as part of the facade.
Finally figuring out and accepting that my father was a narc has presented so much to heal, yet has explained so much I never understood. As a youngster I was a gifted violinist, winning scholarships and competitions, concert master of any orchestra I played in etc My dad hardly acknowledged my accomplishments or how hard I worked. It hurts even now. In my 30’s I won a very big competition and debuted in Carnegie Hall. Dad could hardly be bothered… I was screaming… Look at me Dad! I’m over here! Look what I did now! Accept me! Love me! Acknowledge me! Stop making me feel invisible. He made me feel invisible. I felt invisible my entire life. I remember him saying… you could be a dental hygienist you know… Was it jealousy? What a dream squasher he was. He’s 96 now. Riddled with cancer and alzheimer’s. In a nursing home. I haven’t seen him since Christmas.
Thank you HG for bringing me out of the shadows.
Peaceful.
You are welcome Peaceful.
Hi peaceful…so sorry you experienced this as a child and as an adult. As the fact your dads got cancer and alzheimers must be very difficult.
It was his issue he didnt make you feel noticed or acknowledge your achievements not yours. You achieved so much playing the violin! Speaking from someone whose tried piano and the flute and am not musically inclined i know how much practice and dedication it must take to excel. You should be proud of yourself! Too bad you cant play for us here.
NarcAffair, thank you. Since I’ve encountered HG here on 6/2/17 everything has gone to 6&7’s. I never had a clue as why I felt invisible. I thought I had it all together so well. Very successful career.. wonderful friends, all in place… didn’t realize husbands 1&2 were narcs. But recent Nex… Psychopath. Holy shit. Intire different ballgame. Im at a place now where I don’t want to learn any more… need to catch my breath. And in the meantime.. my calendar is filling up with gigs. I need to go play solidly and push these Narcopaths out. Music in. And let’s not forget… act like a normal human person…
Peaceful
Peaceful
Sounds like he was riddled with jealousy and that is what caused him to make you feel invisible, but you were not. The people that you played with and for very much saw and heard you. Its possible they even felt the pain that you experienced through your music, not that thats how you would wish it to be. When I was reading your post my first thought was: Well good, he was not involved in your music so it can be yours alone and untainted by his interference. He could not appreciate the beauty in your skill, so play for a different audience-all of those who can. They have always heard you but you did not know it because you were focused on his approval. But most of all play for you.
You were not invisible then
You are not invisible now
You will never be invisible
It was because you shone brighter than he that he tried to make it so.
Play him into the shadows and take center stage. Youve earned it.
Yes, it was jealousy, Peaceful.
This one is terrible. I see parents inflict this on their young all the time, and it’s such a stab to the heart…