All In The Eyes
The eyes are one of our powerful weapons. I hear so many comments made about my eyes.
“I saw the world in your eyes.”
“Everything I ever wished for, I could see in your eyes.”
“I’ve never known anyone give me such a malevolent stare.”
“You are dead behind the eyes.”
“That hollow look you give me, chills me inside.”
“Your reptilian, empty stare always unnerved me.”
When we first engage with you, we are able to reflect back at you want you desperately want. Hope, optimism, desire and trust are all mirrored in our eyes. Do not be mistaken and think that we generate those looks. We do not. All we are doing is ensuring that you see what you want to see in order to ensnare you. This mirroring serves two purposes. Firstly, it shows you what you crave for and makes us all the more attractive to you. Secondly, it masks the empty void that truly exists. Whilst my kind and me learn how to behave and act, we mimic the way in which we are expected to respond in the most favourable manner, we do not truly feel any of those things and we cannot generate it in our eyes. Everything else we are able to simulate – the laugh, the smile, the look of surprise, the intonation of elation in our voices. We have carefully crafted these facsimiles of your emotions but managing to do so in our eyes has always eluded us. We cannot fall at the first hurdle however and have you see through our charade. Accordingly, we have managed to master the mirroring technique. You want that love and hope so badly you will see it in us when you are really just seeing yourself. We hold your gaze for longer than anyone else. You are conned into thinking this is just demonstrating the intensity of our desire for you. It is not. We must look directly into your eyes to shine back at you that which you send towards us. Should we look way, the reflection may fail and we must always have you in our eye.
As with all of our pretence we are unable to maintain this deceit for long. The mirror breaks and the shards of reflection fall away leaving the chasm of emotionlessness behind. The barren hinterland beyond our eyes is all that is left, bereft of anything at all. That is why in the later stages you will see nothing when you look at us. We cannot generate those real emotions and our mirror has now failed. Our real gaze is all that is left, cold, empty and lifeless. People often remark about how the eyes are the window to the soul. Our soul left long ago and that is why you look into dead, uncaring eyes. Even though our mouth is upturned in a smile, the crows feet at the sides crease and the brow rises, our eyes betray us. Glacial and sterile they show the reality of what we are; devoid of positive emotion and spiritually bankrupt.
All that we are able to muster is hatred. Our loathing of this unjust world is so intense that it will break through when we wish to direct that hatred against you. That is when the emptiness vanishes and instead you are subjected to our laser-like, pinpoint accurate malevolent stare. I mentioned in the recollection about the cookie jar, how I had practised my withering stare one summer. This is the precursor to our malice, our antipathy and our scorn. With consummate ease we will call on it to intimidate you and signal our contempt for you. It is powerful, unwavering and unsettling. To be on the receiving end of our hateful stare is not a pleasant experience. We muster such power with our eyes, to seduce you and then to break you, but the reality is that we only have three settings. The mirror, the void and the hatred. There is nothing else. That is all that our eyes have.
15 thoughts on “All In The Eyes”
HG, I’d like to know please — do narcs know when their eyes turn black? Can it be done at will?
Not necessarily. No.
“The mirror, the void and the hatred. There is nothing else. That is all that our eyes have”..
… This isnt just the eyes though is it.. those balls in a skull? A couple of spheres in a head? Eyes?
This is the crux of it all. Of everything…
In a nutshell then.
Nailed it!! Those ‘dead-eyes’ reveal an emptiness within, sadly.
HG, may I ask: what do you see in our eyes? Do our eyes show (to you) an obvious contrast of light and life? Are you able to read our unspoken emotions at any given time? Thank you 🙂 Bel
We see fuel in its many manifestations.
Can you tell this from pictures to?
That’s pretty powerful and I have been enlightened even further. My MRN would struggle to look at me when we talked. He would start to fidget and do anything to break the stare. If we so happened to lock eyes, he would nervously look away,
I always felt his uncomfortablism (yes, I know I made that word up, but I like it – if fits). I sensed something was off, I just didn’t know what until right know.
My father (extremely smart, but yet still a lesser narc-as he was physically abusive with me), told me once, “Don’t ever trust a person that won’t look you straight in the eye.”
Full circle and again just WOW!
HIS EYES….. the first time I met him, he gazed at me with light blue eyes that looked like the eyes an angel could have. They were so full of light I couldn’t keep looking into them. I became confused when at times his eyes would be a darker blue or even green. They didn’t look like much in photos… Just dull looking. Last month, I was at a gathering where he was. I gave him a quick hug and walked away. I haven’t seen him for months and told myself it was OK. He came to where I was and stood next to me for several minutes. He was trying to look into my eyes but I wouldn’t allow it. The next thing – – I felt something weird that caused me to look in a certain direction. He had moved and was standing five feet away from me with his hands on his hips, his back and head bent down, with only his face turned sideways to me. I saw him as wearing all white but his clothes were actually dark. There was no look of hatred or a look of any kind. His face was very still and pale but his eyes were black and hollow. I could see through them but all was dark inside. I looked for maybe 5 or 6 seconds trying to believe my eyes. I looked away a few seconds and looked back at him. He was still the same way. I looked down because I felt paralyzed and as if I couldn’t walk. My heart was pounding. It was strange that I didn’t hear any voices or see any movement from the people standing around. Everything seemed at a standstill. I kept looking down and suddenly I heard him say something to two women across from me and I looked up. His voice was odd like he had become very hoarse but I could see his eyes were OK. He said to the women “Give me a hug because I have to go.” He said it in my direction to make sure I heard it but he didn’t look at me. At that point I left quickly. What happened? Why was I the only one who saw it? and why did it seem like the whole thing lasted so long? I’ve seen his lifeless eyes in photos and many times in person but this was different. I’ve done my best to forget about it but can’t. He has become very smiley in his recent performances I’ve seen on video. Looks like real smiles with his eyes crinkled and all. I know he must practice smiling. Everyone talks about how happy he is now. I would never tell a word of my interactions with him to any friends I’ve made through him. No one would believe me. He is much loved and people jokingly say he is their addiction and they have withdrawal after seeing him. I can relate since I’ve known him about 8 years but only three years has he known my name.
I’m pretty sure I was a narcissist when I was young and pretty. Age does wonders for a woman’s journey toward humility. I’d rather be old. Men don’t have that built in character builder since all they need is money to continue the familiar, comfortable, beneficial charade.
yes…i sow that.
at the beginning was painfull..later i felt ungry and at the end i understund something wrong with that man..and i running away…
I saw “the mirror” and “the void”.
Now is GOSO time so I hope I will never see “the hatred”…
I just realized that every time I strated to see kind of emptiness I walked away (NC).
So I have a question HG. Why have I heard my Narc say, “I can feel love, passion, kindness whenever I want to. I choose to be empty;void of compassion and care of any capacity.” One occasion he gave me a very expensive gift, but before he did it, he gave me a very intense stare down. It was really uncomfortable. Is that a typical behavior within the Formal Relationship?
It is the manifestation of grandiosity – he cannot feel those things although he may think that he can. If he recognises that he cannot, he does not want to admit it.
It’s interesting cuz in older pics he sent before I met him he’s smiling and his eyes seem to twinkle the last pictures he sent before he discarded me his eyes went from brown to actual black like black ink and he looks completely empty and hollow I wish I could post the transformation because it’s so unbelievable he doesn’t so much as look evil but more completely empty and hollow like somebody dying of cancer
This entry always makes me think about “his” eyes. They are blue but the color itself is not that remarkable. I think for him it was an extremely subtle change in his face or around his eyes. The way he looked at me was very distinct but I guess the light in his eyes would change. Not so much darker but definitely corpse looking one minute and alive the next. I can’t put my finger on it but I knew when it was inviting and I knew when it was not.
If I ever by chance see him again I will ask him to look at me with disgust and hatred and then look at me with passionate (fake) love and then take a pic. Maybe I could dissect it that way. I’ll be sure to share it with the group after I get the photos.