Little Acons – No. 17
15 thoughts on “Little Acons – No. 17”
Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)
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Ohhhh, this is too sad. I cannot take it. The small child’s eyes look so sad. I must leave this page immediately b4 i start crying.
This one I know well thanks to my Nmother. I still fight the feelings of being worthless and unloveable that she hammered into me. I vividly remember the day she stood me in front of a mirror and told me I was so disgustingly fat (I weighed all of 125 lbs @ 5’2″) that no guy would ever want to be with me. Thank you, mother, for the food and body image issues I can’t seem to shake.
I’m always afraid when I read the Little Acons. I pray my daughter has never felt any of them coming from me. She’s the best person I know in spite of any damage I may have done from my own trauma. Greatest blessing of my life.
Any challenge I made to my N Mom on her insults: “I am the only one who tells you the truth.” Had an ex bf who told me: “I was lucky to be with him because no one else wants someone with a disability.”
Most recent ex: “You are difficult to love.” Maybe now I can look at that as projection, because he certainly didn’t make the journey a cakewalk either.
I have a lot of work to do to heal myself and never attract crap like this again.
Through my childhood, growing up, my mother would find a way of making sure she reminded me on a regular basis that I was “a spoilt brat”, “ self-centred”,“selfish” etc .
I had a dedication to training in classical dance from a very young age and as a young woman of 15, just starting out on my life and career, my mother found it necessary to plant the seed in me that “you’re unliveable with”.
It has taken me many years to refute that and believe in myself, to see that I am worthy of love and care just like everyone else.
I realise what had been installed in me from a young age were in fact the things mother’s abusive parents had said about my mother and the self doubt that my mother carried in herself- I was her scapegoat and dumping ground for her own unhappiness.
I account, to some degree my run in with a narcissist partly due to my residual self-doubt and unfledged sence of self-worth, ingrained in me from my childhood.
MTS—I account, to some degree my run in with a narcissist partly due to my residual self-doubt and unfledged sence of self-worth, ingrained in me from my childhood.
^ #metoo
Thanks Mom.
Believing that no one will ever want me and that I am not good enough was the main reason for the bad choices I have made in my life. Still is.
ABW—ditto and well put.
My narc used to tell me I should realize how lucky I was to have him, that no one else would want me and my special needs daughter…. f*cker!
In essence thats how we feel worthy of no one. Even the golden children feel only worthy when they have gained it thru being number one and gaining constant accolades and praising.
Not a lot makes me angry, but this one does. This one does so much damage to children. These type of callous pronouncements that narcissists say for a temporary dollop of fuel can devastate children and warp their lives for many, many years. There is a cosmic injustice that statements like this, sad often offhand by low-life, selfish idiots for a momentary fuel boost can do such devastation to others.
I can feel your fuel from here WS2.
Ha, ha! Yeah, here I am in Kansas with no one to pour all this fuel out to! I’ve missed three calls from my NY narc friend (calls to talk when she takes walks) and just had to hang up on my exhusband because were all headed to the zoo! He’s always eager to spend the day with me when I come back to Kentucky. Maybe that’s why. I build up all this pent up fuel in me needing release! Narcs aren’t the only ones who need variety! 😄
My lesser narc mom always projects this,,