Me Too

ME TOO

Harvey Weinstein. Kevin Spacey. Brett Ratner, Dustin Hoffman. Michael Oreskes. Michael Fallon.

The names of men who have been accused of inappropriate sexual behaviour ranging from an unwanted hand on the knee, the commission of sexual acts through coercion through to rape. All of varying degrees of seriousness. All allegations coming to the fore in a current climate of exposure.

Some of the men have admitted certain sexual misconduct. Others vehemently deny it and state it never happened or the act occurred but there was consent. Whilst certainly innocent until proven guilty in a criminal court, there has been public vilification with organisations distancing themselves from the accused from cancelling television programmes to removing certain memberships and honours.

The backdrop of a tidal wave of allegations coming from famous and not so famous victims has widened to many people confirming that they have been a victim of unwelcome sexual behaviour and thus the hashtag me too began to trend on social media.

The reaction to this cause celebre has been varied :-

  1. Praise for victims of this behaviour who now feel emboldened enough to speak out about it;
  2. Concerns about a band wagon mentality which results in false allegations being made and real concerns being taken less seriously;
  3. Questions about why the victims are only speaking up now;
  4. Criticism of those who stayed silent and accepted a pay off in return;
  5. Accusations of there being witch hunts.

As I have pointed out previously, for all of the copious acres of newsprint on these allegations and exposures, the fact that the perpetrators are of our kind (see the articles A Very Hollywood Narcissist and A Very Deflecting Narcissist ) and are more than likely going to be of our kind, has been missed.

Yet the spectre of narcissism in this matter does not end there.

There can be no doubt that there are many victims that I shall call True Victims of unwelcome and distressing inappropriate sexual behaviour. Whether it was an attempt to gain sexual gratification through the promise of success or the threat of failure to instances where sexual assault or rape occurred, there are True Victims.

Why are many only speaking out now? There are two fundamental reasons behind this.

The first is that certain ‘pioneers’ have led the allegations and since those allegations have received airtime, newsprint and not been brushed under the carpet as they once were, these True Victims have realised that they can now at last reveal what has happened to them without fear or consequence, or at least a reduced impact in that regard. There is a far more receptive atmosphere to the allegations. Do not think however that this is because the mainstream media suddenly cares – it does not – but this is news and news sells, so it is allowed prominence.  The public at large may be more receptive owing to a change in outlook over the decades – what once might have been seen as ‘harmless slap and tickle’ is now regarded in a more serious light – but the public’s reception is not one of wholesale change (see the less favourable comments bandied around about the accusers) and furthermore it is not the shift in a section of society’s values which has enabled this mass confession. Having seen certain noteworthy names come forward and state their case and have it listened to, has caused further complainants to emerge benefitting from this strength in numbers. This is one of the reasons why so many are speaking out.

The second reason is a darker reason and I shall return to that presently.

Why are they only speaking out now? Why didn’t they do something at the time? They are creating a witch hunt, jumping on the bandwagon and creating a climate of fear for anyone who dares to even compliment someone. These are the cries of the detractors.

The True Victims are only speaking out now because when the alleged actions took place they felt unable to and this is for a variety of reasons:-

a. Fear of not being believed;

b. Fear of repercussions;

c. Blurred lines;

d. Fear of victim-blaming

e. The imbalance of power

These are entirely valid reasons. Why? They are entirely valid because my our kind rely on these forms of manipulation to enable us to keep a hold over our victims, extract fuel from them, maintain control and avoid culpability. These five issues are present through all manner of abuse of a victim, not just in the sexual arena.

a. We generate a facade of respectability, of being a pillar of the community and not someone who would ever engage in such behaviour. Who is going to be believed? The reputable charity-supporting business man or the young drop-out?

b. Retaliation is a key part of our arsenal. Don’t do what we want and expect there to be repercussions – the end of the relationship, us choosing someone else, you not getting the job or the contract, others being told not to deal with you, physical violence, financial pressure, the rolling out of the other well-known manipulations that we use against our victims. Cross us, challenge our control and you know what happens. These True Victims knew this too.

c. The situation is made less clear cut than it actually was. We use plausible deniability, gas lighting and deflection so you perhaps doubt whether any transgression actually took place and that you were really a willing participant.

d. We are notorious for smearing those who challenge us and somebody who is a major player in an industry which is both fickle and hard to penetrate. It is difficult enough to gain work to begin with and would become impossible if key players smear that person. Furthermore, the concepts of the casting couch, the use of feminine wiles, the perception that people will use looks and sexuality to secure an advantage, the idea that the victim knew what this person was like and still engaged with them and other long-standing perceptions all results in an attitude that the victim asked for it and shouldn’t then go crying about it.

e. Our kind always operate on an imbalance of power. Sometimes it is obvious – the famous producer and the receptionist, the Oscar winner and the barman, the acclaimed director and the aspiring actress. Often it is less obvious. Many victims are independent, intelligent and strong individuals but this becomes useless when a narcissist ensnares them because we select those victims who are inherently susceptible to what we are and how we operate. The victim does not stand a chance and for all of their grit, spunkiness and spirit, they do not see us coming and do not realise how they face a massive imbalance of power when it comes to us ensnaring them. Every battle is won before it is ever fought and that relies on this imbalance of power (in many different ways) between narcissist and victim.

Thus the concerns of these True Victims are real, accurate and operated (as we always want them to) to keep them quiet and compliant.

Yet, this is not the whole story. There are others who are victims – they suffered the inappropriate behaviour etc – but their responses are entirely different. Why is this? It is because those victims are narcissists too.

A narcissist will ensnare another narcissist. Often it is unwitting and of course if it is a one off involvement the outcome, in terms of fuel, will be similar to that of an empathic victim. It is over the longer term that such a clash between narcissist and narcissist, largely, becomes unsustainable.

Those victim narcissists did nothing in the first instance because they saw no reason to do so, not because there were the factors which I have described above but because :-

a. The victim narcissist is being fuelled – the behaviour of the predator narcissist is fuel. Whether negative or positive, it amounts to fuel;

b. The victim narcissist sees an advantage in receiving this attention. They either positively embrace it as a way to progress their position – the ‘casting couch’ concept – or they use it as a method to seek to manipulate the predator narcissist in an alternative way,  for instance threatening a complaint to gain an advantage such as a role or a pay off or dangling the prospect of a further interaction for additional fuel and other benefits;

c. The victim narcissist stands more to gain by embracing or at least not complaining about the behaviour – at that juncture.

The factors I described earlier which impact on a True Victims are not actually issues which concern the victim narcissist but that victim narcissist may well use those reasons at a later stage to further their own position. This exemplified the expedient behaviour of the narcissist who is also a victim of the predator narcissist. He or she stays silent years ago because it is a benefit to do so, not because they are especially concerned about the risk of doing so and then this expedient behaviour manifests at a later stage by then joining the tide of complaints with the True Victims. They then, adopting the victim mentality which narcissists have, use the concerns of the True Victims, adopting for themselves because that is an advantage for them to do so.

How then does one identify these victim narcissists? An analysis of the individual and their behaviour is likely to demonstrate the key indicators – lack of empathy, sense of entitlement, use of manipulation, grandiosity, lack of accountability etc but there is also a  further substantial reason.

There are those who have claimed to be or are victims of Weinstein et al who have then got themselves into a position of power of influence. They are rich, they can choose the scripts that are sent to them, they begin producing films themselves, they are famous, they have influence in Hollywood and beyond.

Yet they said nothing.

They are in a powerful position, standing on a platform from which they could readily expose their abuser and not only be believed but cause action to be taken. They could state “This happened to me” and do so truthfully and bring influence to bear and be a torch bearer for those less powerful to gather under their banner of exposure. But they did not. They did not do so 5 or 10 or 15 years ago, even though it is generally accepted the behaviour of the predator narcissists has been going on for a considerable period of time. Why have these now powerful individuals stayed silent? They need not fear repercussions, there is no or a far smaller imbalance of power, they will be believed but they did not speak out.

They did not do so because they are narcissists too and in common with their lack of empathy, sense of entitlement and self-interest they saw nothing to be gained in speaking out. However, when others who are True Victims have spoken out, these victim narcissist s, ever knee to gain fuel, maintain the facade and benefit themselves have confirmed ‘me too’, condemned their abusers, railed against anybody for victim-shaming and exhibited false empathy.

Accordingly, when some observers criticise the behaviour of some of the victims, there is some force in their criticism albeit it is not based on the actual dynamic of why these victims have behaved in that way.

The True Victims are above reproach for the reasons explained. There are however, clear reasons to question the behaviour of some and those are the victim narcissists.

This brings us back to the question of why these exposures have happened now. People have been led to believe that there has been a shift in values which has empowered people to come forward. There has not been such a shift in the last 5,10 or 20 years. So, why did these exposures not occur 5 years ago on such a scale? Why not 15 years ago?

Ordinarily the transgressions of the predator narcissists would be covered up, kept in check by their handlers and those who have an interest in maintaining the status quo. The reason that people have been able to come forward, that their exposures have not been quashed through threat or pay-off as a consequence of the powerful and far-reaching capability of certain individuals, is because those individuals have been the catalyst for these exposures and have their own reasons for wanting to see the exposures gain momentum and the downfall of particular individuals. Once upon a time any such ‘dissent’ would have been crushed, sidelined, diluted or discouraged. No longer. There is a purpose to allowing the exposure to happen and to flourish.

There will be much more to come.

Now, what type of people do you think are behind causing this to happen and allowing it to happen?

 

163 thoughts on “Me Too

  1. cb says:

    … and Alyssa Milano, one of the founders of #metoo is also a narc, isn’t she?

    (loads n heaps of confidence on all photos plus that over-energetic stare)

  2. Bubbles says:

    Desr Noname,
    Wow, wow, and more wow!
    My brother was in the Air Force as an MP!
    He said philphering was the worst with the high rankers, they were the most corrupt. He was ordered to turn a “blind eye” to a lot. He was a stickler for “going by the book”.
    He lived on the base with his family and moved accordingly.
    He retired from the military and is very hush hush about it.
    Did you follow your family’s tradition and join yourself (sounds like it’s in your blood) … fascinating read Noname
    Thankyou

    1. Bubbles says:

      *correction
      Dear
      Pilphering

      1. Noname says:

        Of course, not! Military system is a man’s territory, albeit very interesting. Lol.

        USSR military system was very closed (to outsiders), controlling, but honest. It was an honor to work with it. But now, I have a suspicion, that our contemporary military system isn’t so good. No one of my family isn’t related to it in any form now. Thank goodness. Lol.

  3. Bubbles says:

    Mr Tudor,
    The more you read, the more players and more dominos. I can’t keep up. I shall look forward to your end response.
    Great article, Thankyou

  4. Bubbles says:

    I mean , why come forward ?

  5. Bubbles says:

    Sinclair pleaded guilty to a romantic affair with a subordinate, sexual misconduct, forcible sodomy, he threatened to kill the girl’s family if she told anyone and also other improper relations.He was a highly decorated war hero and his pay was reduced per month after 28 years of service. Williams watched porn on govt equipment and was relieved of his command, although there appears to be other suspicions involved with high rankers.

    1. Bubbles says:

      A number of former generals and admirals plan to write an “open” letter to Sen Kirsten Gillbrand (D.N.Y.) for her assistance –
      Letter reads …”no executive should have to work in a hostile environment, please find a way to remove shareholders and boards of directors from the chain of command so,we can protect these innocent men in power, they are the true victims ” – letter concludes

    2. HG Tudor says:

      Ah, birds of a feather then.

      1. Bubbles says:

        Sen Gillibrand is a defender of military sexual misconduct. Do you know why these ousted military officers are on Weinsteins side then ?

  6. Just Me says:

    “People need to feel the smack of firm government.”

    A firm smack to wake people up… yes.
    A firm smack to tighten the noose of control… no.

  7. Bubbles says:

    Dear Mr Tudor,
    I only asked, as I came across a news article from Arlington regarding .. why are a number of former top military officers across the nation (Brig Gen Jeffrey Sinclair) expressing outrage and confusion after Harvey Weinstein suffered the consequences in the wake of an ongoing sexual harassment scandal. Brig Gen Sinclair can’t believe what he’s seeing, being forced out of his own company and not getting a pension. Rear Adm Richard Williams heart goes to him in this time of uncertainty .

    I don’t understand!

    1. Bubbles says:

      Why are these disgraced officers supporting Weinstein, what is there involvement and why are military officers going to write a letter to a senator to support him?

      I just don’t get it !
      my apologies for all the questions

      1. HG Tudor says:

        I don’t know the officers concerned Bubbles so it is somewhat difficult for me to comment. You refer to them as being disgraced, perhaps you might explain why they are disgraced as within that may lie the answer.

  8. Alexissmith2016 says:

    wow!! I’m quite literaly blown away by your intellect and ability to convey this in a way which is easy for us simple folk to comprehend.

    I’m not religious, but I’m actually going to start praying to you HG.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thanks Alexis.

  9. Anyway, you may ask, but he cannot tell. But likely still “with”
    I haven’t figured if his last answer was to Not going back and forth with the questions or currently with a military connection.
    I vote not going back and forth with questions.
    And I would guess the military still pays him but never owned him.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Your last sentence is uncannily accurate.

      1. That’s enough answer for me. Thank you for the reply HG.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Pleasure.

      2. Noname says:

        Ohh…”with” military. I know what that means for a family members. Lol.

        My Grandpatrinarc was a military surgeon and he liked to take me to his work. I became familiar with various weapon and medical instruments. Lol.

        My Patrinarc is a scientist, but he worked for military system also. He liked to take me to his work and various trips also. I became familiar with submarinas. Lol.

        My Unclenarc and his wife both were the electronic engineers and worked with ballistic rockets (during USSR times). When those rockets were dismantled, they showed to us (all kids in the family) the control dashboards and shafts, where those rockets had been placed previously. Impressive. Lol.

        My Narccousin’s father was a test pilot (fighter planes) and my cousin and I visited his work also. He permitted us even to sit inside of those planes. Also, he “rode” us (and other kids of military guys) on helicopters. Exciting. Lol.

        The main rule for all members of the “with military” family was “No matter what you see or hear, keep your mouth shut!”. We all obeyed. Lol.

        Anyway, you can find a lot of Narcs at work with a label “Secret”. It is their territory. Lol.

      3. Noname says:

        I remember, my Grandpatrinarc told me a srory.

        His residental military division got the SECRET order to change a location. The General summoned all of high rank military guys and ordered to “pack things and prepare to change a location”.

        I don’t know how it was for your countries, but in my country the military guys live and work with their wives and kids in small residental military “towns” and they are movable.

        When my Grandpatrinarc returned to home after meeting, he found my grandmother in the process of packing things.

        He was like “Whoa! What are you doing?”.
        She said “What what? Packing things. We are changing a location!”.
        “How did you know?!? I got this order 10 minutes ago! It was a secret order!”.
        “Why, darling, General’s wife called me this morning and told me we are moving”.
        “How did she know?!? Ahh, whatever. Now I understand the meaning of the phrase ‘The General’s wife is a Marshal!’ Bloody women! You know everything you want! No hope for us men?”.
        “No, my darling. No hope”.

        Lol.

    2. Bubbles says:

      Thankyou perse, you’re very clever.
      My interest was merely from a “military” dialogue perspective, as my friend answers like Mr Tudor. Very short sharp answers and no information given unless asked. They have their own lingo so to speak. My military friend and I had huge problems texting… go figure, haha
      ( ps.. I appreciate and understand Mr Tudors situation, I have a friend connected “with” the military and NASA … not “in” .. haha )
      My fault entirely for not understanding Mr Tudors conversation. Bit slow on the uptake.

      1. Bubbles,
        No worries, I have days where I’m a bit slow on the uptake, myself.
        Perse

  10. Bubbles,
    HG cannot tell you exactly what he does. He probably contracts to the military in some form. Could be anything from Payroll to supplying heavy equipment or armaments.
    Maybe he teaches military strategy to officers. He would probably be good at that.

  11. Bubbles🍾 says:

    I did just ask, are you still “with” the military not “in”

    1. Bubbles🍾 says:

      Why not

      1. Bubbles says:

        Mr Tudor, I was merely trying to ascertain if you were a military man, because you appear to have certain similarities and use words that my friend did. I was wondering if it was a common thread ?
        Many Hollywood actors have been in the military.
        Many narcissists have a military background.
        Thanking you

        1. HG Tudor says:

          There are any narcissists in the military. I know what you are trying to ascertain and you are welcome to ask and I have answered.

  12. Sillyolperson says:

    Sorry, I thought you were correcting my English …..Im a bit slow!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Ha ha, no I wasn’t.

      1. Sillyolperson says:

        Talking to a narcissist is not easy… haha

        Could you just not tell me without me going back n forth asking all these questions.. pleeeeeease ..

        1. HG Tudor says:

          No.

  13. Sillyolperson says:

    In what capacity

    1. HG Tudor says:

      A professional one.

      1. Sillyolperson says:

        Enlisted, an officer? Are you still with the military or are you a veteran?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          I wrote ‘with’ not ‘in’.

  14. LL says:

    HG –
    Did you tell us what school you believe Trump to be in?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I did.

    2. K says:

      LL
      Trump is a ULN = upper lesser narcissist.

      1. Paula Sarno says:

        Oh my God! I thought he was at least a mid range . World is in his hands 😳

        1. K says:

          I have heard talk on the news about invoking the 25th Amendment to remove Trump due to political incompetence.

  15. Just Me says:

    This is interesting… Harvey made a film called “Vaxxed.” It was surrounded by controversy for exposing the dangers of vaccines and recently pulled from a film festival. Things that make you go… hmmm.

  16. Sillyolperson says:

    Dear Mr Tudor,
    Have you been involved WITH the military, Sir, please, thank you.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      That’s what I wrote.

      1. Sillyolperson says:

        You’re playing games

        1. HG Tudor says:

          No I am not. I confirmed I have been involved with the military.

          1. Paula Sarno says:

            Your kind is ideal for military life . There must be many in the Army , in every country

          2. HG Tudor says:

            There are.

  17. E. B. says:

    There must be other powerful narcissists behind all this. Maybe big corporations, which had been previously exposed by Hollywood stars, are taking revenge now?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Governmental.

      1. Probably why I prefer anarchism in it’s original definition.No Rulers.
        When I learned of Narcissism, I thought government is there to help channel power to narcissists! Of course!
        And to shred fools who think they can enter that organization to do actual good.
        Oops, sorry HG! I maybe denigrating where your income is earned.
        I can think of nothing beneficial IRL from centralized governments.

        1. Windstorm2 says:

          Perse
          Roads? The interstate highway system here in the US is a big benefit. FEMA for disaster relief. Military protection from other countries. There are benefits, but I see your point. IMO government is a necessary evil that has to be watched carefully and kept in control. All that power and money is just too big a temptation for the unscrupulous.

          1. HG Tudor says:

            People need to feel the smack of firm government.

          2. Windstorm2 says:

            Ha, ha!! You won’t find many people here who would agree with you! That’s very un-American thinking. That kind of thinking is why we’re our own separate country and gun legislation always fails.

          3. HG Tudor says:

            Well of course they won’t agree, that’s why they need it in the first place.

          4. WS2,
            LOL. I could give you a lot of ways the market can, does, and will do the job better than the govt, but no need to bore you.
            You do know the actual reason the US interstate system was built by the feds to begin with, don’t you? It was planned to move the gigantic war machines quickly and easily. The other side effect benefits are what was sold to the public, so there would not be an outcry against aggressive military expansion and the stealing of private properties “for the good of the many”.
            For the last decade, in heavily populated areas, the have been doing ‘Aesthetic’ improvements, Such as sound walls and the like, but the real purpose is for trapping the few or many on the roadway with nowhere to go should the govt feel the need.
            But, to many what I say about this is blather’
            I love to drive cross country, and the best, comfortable and fastest roads I’ve used, have been the Turnpikes. You take a ticket when you get on, pay only for as far as you actually drove when you get off. The only downer to me about the turnpikes; nothing to look at but scenery, and the exits don’t go to the odd little places I like to explore.
            I do hope my little ramble doesn’t send you away thinking I’m paranoid. 🙂

          5. HG Tudor says:

            Interesting, I always like to see mention of turnpikes, appeals to the medieval in me.

          6. It would be difficult driving over THOSE turnpikes….
            Humorous mind movie, though, ha ha!

          7. Windstorm2 says:

            Perse
            Yes I knew that Eisenhower pushed thru the interstate idea for military reasons. That doesn’t stop it from being a Godsend for rural America. And I certainly know the depravations of “Imminent Domain.” The little farm I grew up on was split and ruined by building a State parkway.

            You say you love the turnpikes – there are no turnpikes in Kentucky or in any of the states I drive thru. Turnpikes require a high population base to be viable. Unfortunately so do most market solutions. They require a fairly large population to generate the money needed to be successful.

            I drive an average of 30,000 miles (48,280 km) each year, almost exclusively on very rural Federal highways and Interstates. If the highway system depended on a market solution, most of the roads I travel would cease to be maintained. There just wouldn’t be enough people and money involved to justify them. This would happen all over rural America.

            I agree that much of government is not needed, but it serves an important purpose in helping the poor, those in rural areas or areas with disasters or devastation.

            Hope your day is going well. 😊

  18. E. B. says:

    Great post and challenging question!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thanks EB.

  19. Peppi Boudreau says:

    Hi, HT. Do you know who Jeffrey Epstein is in the entertainment industry. What do you think about his type of character as a person? I have read several articles about him and i think he is worse than Harvey Weinstein and all the others. What fo you think? Thank You, HT.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Who is HT?

      1. Peppi Boudreau says:

        Ooooops, sorry HG. I meant you. Have you heard of Jeffrey Epstein.? What is your thinking about him? Thank you, HG.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          I have heard of him yes. One of our kind. Plus you only need to see who has been on the “Lolita Express” to see some familiar names from our kind.

  20. Lisa says:

    All the good little empaths are finally pulling some strings. Its all about the ‘awakening’ if you ask me.

    1. Lisa says:

      PS: we have a voice now. Unlike 20 years ago.

    2. HG Tudor says:

      That is what you are meant to think, but it is not.

      1. Twilight says:

        Good morning to you to

        Empaths are becoming more aware due to your teachings

      2. Lisa says:

        Ok. Never did say I was bright…lol

  21. Brian says:

    Would you say basically keep an eye on who replaces Harvey Weinstein?
    No one can replace Kevin Spacey in house of cards so I dont know why he was exposed.
    There was a scandal a few years ago where an owner of a basketball team was recorded by his girlfriend saying something racist, but then I think the girlfriend was linked to people who wanted to buy the team.

  22. Just Me says:

    “It takes a village to protect a narcissist.”

    I believe we are watching the village walls crumble.

  23. abrokenwing says:

    I say Russians .
    No offence . 😉

    1. Antifragile says:

      Lol. “In soviet russia, the empaths drain the narcissist”?

      1. abrokenwing says:

        No , the regime drains all regardless.

        What I’m saying is it’s all politics. Interference in US Election best example.

      2. Antifragile says:

        I was joking, ABW… I’m very sad about what’s going on with that regime, I think it’s ruled by somebody even more dangerous than just narcissist. Antisocial I quess.
        I know the terrible things going on in Russia and neighboring countries because of his inhuman immune omnipotence. Narcissists doesn’t kill their opposition literally, right? I will understand if I’m telling too freely and will be moderated by HG with this political comment. But it’s painful to see and know. I know more than I would like to know about that trash. My narcy lives in the neighboring country… He have not enough power yet to go from that place…

      3. abrokenwing says:

        It’s also very worrying to see few other countries in Europe drifting towards authoritarianism…. but yeah , it’s a sensitive subject and not the right place for a political debate.

  24. 12345 says:

    HG, does all of this frighten the greater narcissists in the entertainment realm since they know what they are? I know the accused are lessors, mid-rangers and greater (well, I say I know but I actually don’t) but are any of them afraid of being exposed now that the dominos are falling?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      No. It means they will be looking to ensure the devil takes the hindmost.

  25. narc affair says:

    Very interesting article!
    First off im glad the victim narcissists are coming forward. Let the true victims use the victim narcs balance in power to the predator be used to their advantage..why not? Pit narc against narc to bring out the truth about sexual abuse. Its a win for the true victim. I dont care if the victim narcs reasons for coming forward arent sincere if it happened it happened…shame on the predator narc you deserve it! Maybe with victims coming out more of these predator narcs will smarten up and behave! Let the victim narcs be the tattletales if it exposes the predator im all for it! Narcissists bully and bullying relies on an imbalance of power!
    I do think a large reason why these issues are coming to the forefront opposed to years ago is bc of the internet. The internet is what? …the information highway and with that we are learning about different kinds of abuse like narcissism and people are more educated and more aware than ever of their rights. Abuse needs to be exposed more and it is being more exposed…this blog is a prime example as we share our stories we are empowered. People are taking a stand and saying “NO MORE!!” …if victim narcs want to be on the bandwagon and say “me too” i say more power to ya! Expose your predator kind! Lets oust the predator together victim narc and true victim 👍
    I do agree narcs can attract one another and ive seen this firsthand. Probably bc theres different kinds of narcs this is possible but inevitably it never lasts bc they both want the power and are too much alike. Victim narc and predator narc i could see falling into a secondary type dynamic feeding off one another and their benefits.
    Director casts victim narc actress if she does what he wants…we see a lot of this. I love the poetic justice of this victim narc later blowing the whistle on the predator narc.

  26. Fiona says:

    The lieutenants: “bad things happen when good people do nothing”. None of them is blameless, they were narcissistic enablers. They did well out of the arrangements. And some are now trying to absolve themselves of this. Take Tarantino’s response, a lieutenant who now owns up/sees his complicity, so big of him, extra brownie points for him, such a good guy. But never acted on those niggly feelings that it wasn’t ok.

    Also time to have another look at Joss Whedon.

    Wherever there is power there are narcs.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Well the individuals who have not been accused and are not victims is a separate piece in itself Fiona.

      1. Yolo says:

        HG,

        Another great article. I assume your intentions were to stay with current events. I notice you did not mention Bill Cosby or Bill O’Reilly.

        I personally think there has been a shift in the U.S. I don’t what it is or the cause but the recent domestic terrorist attacks such as Texas today and the killings in Las Vegas and New York.

        Are these narcisst? Do you think social media outlets should be held accountable for the information published on their sites?

        Again, Thank you

  27. Sillyolperson says:

    Dear Mr Tudor,

    My answer ……. Lawyers !

    Brilliant article, absolutely brilliant! ☺️

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you.

      1. Sillyolperson says:

        Dear Mr Tudor,
        Have you been involved in the military?
        Many thanks

        1. HG Tudor says:

          With.

  28. Patricia J says:

    The Elite Narcs…Majik 12 (former name).

    P.S. Great Article!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you.

  29. Just Me says:

    “…those who have an interest in maintaining the status quo…
    those individuals have been the catalyst for these exposures…”

    Those who have the greatest interest in maintaining status quo are the elite political establishment. I believe this smear campaign is damage control, one battle in a much larger war being waged.

  30. You write of people being the catalyst. Are you saying they have been waiting in the wings to take down prominent members of the establishment? If you/they are a narcissist your cognitive dissonance would lead you to believe that there is some type of conspiracy to topple you. Narcissistic paranoia. You are definitely correct in thinking that there are true and false victims. There are those of the gray area too. Ones who consider certain types of flirtation or touching as acceptable. It is not a black and white issue. You may have heard that Dustin Hoffman was accused of inappropriate behavior because he asked someone if they ever had sex with someone over 40. Is that person on the receiving end of that question really a victim or just trying to further their career? So many have differences about boundaries and what is or is not acceptable that it is hard to draw a line. My boundaries may be very tight and others may have looser boundaries. Who really sets the standard? The onslaught of victimization I think is due to the fact that we can get and receive information so quickly and this enables people to express themselves immediately or in real time. The ability to squash information before social media was easy to do. As advancements in information sharing abound it makes containment a hard task. The less people know the easier to cover. Do people still cover up info? Yes. Can it remain contained forever? No. There are individuals who are definitely on the bandwagon with the me too campaign. There are definitely individuals who are real victims. The perpetrators of the media hype are what motivates an individual to seek their own advantage or to seek a way to help the victims. Can we really judge anyone? We don’t know their mindset and we don’t know their definition of crossing the line. Until someone comes up with a set of rules that all of mankind can accept, we will continue to guess at who or what is to blame. Each case is different. There are cases that set precedents but it seems that nothing is off the table. People are so morally bereft that anything could be acceptable or unacceptable. People would like to make that judgment but can they really when they can’t even direct their own lives? The issues here go a lot deeper than just inappropriate behavior. It calls into question the whole of man and who really has a right to set the moral code. Very nice topic HG. You going deeper is always refreshing.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      It is true that the containment of information has become more difficult however there remains multiple ways of addressing that and if containment cannot be achieved then diversion, dilution and discrediting are some of the methods that are deployed.
      There is a clear reason why this has come to the fore now and continues to do so and that is because it has been allowed to for the advancement/protection of others. As I mentioned elsewhere, our kind will thrown anybody under the bus if it serves our interests.

      1. To make sure I understand your point, you are saying that narcissistic individuals or those who have a hidden agenda for their own advancement are the reason accusations have become so prevalent? If so then would you agree that an increase in narcissistic behavior is responsible for the decline in morals?
        Is not the moral spirit of the world, as a whole, in decline? What was morally acceptable in 1950 is not the same as 2017. Do you think it narcissistic prevalence?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          No. I am not passing comment on whether there are more accusations now than there were say 50 years ago. I am saying that the emergence of the allegations and the prominence and credibility attributed to the exposing ‘pioneers’ is down to it being something desired by others.

          1. Thank you for explaining. Yes opportunistic rather than narcissistic. I’m Spin Doctoring there.

          2. HG Tudor says:

            No, that’s the very point I am making, it is narcissism that is driving it.

      2. Dickforlong says:

        It takes a village to protect a narcissist.

      3. One of the methods that is specific to the internet: Dis-information.
        I have used it myself to throw my narc off the trail of where I actually was.
        Others will use it more extensively to cast doubt on all sources.

    2. abrokenwing says:

      Hi Duplicitous Minx,

      May I please ask why did you choose this name?

      1. Hello ABW. Saying You Duplicitous Minx sounds upscale in comparison to you two timing whore! Just trying to church it up. 🤣

      2. abrokenwing says:

        Well, thank you for an honest answer Duplicitous Minx.

    3. narc affair says:

      Good point about containment of information. The internet is why abuses are coming to the forefront. We learn from it and we are able to use it as a platform to get others to hear us and take us more seriously. The internet has been negative in a lot of ways but this is an example of it being used in a positive way. Were becoming more empowered as abuse can no longer be swept under the carpet and contained from the public. Exposure is key to the decline in abuse.

      1. HG Tudor says:

        Only because it has been permitted to be used in this way.

      2. NA,
        I agree that the internet can be used for both good and bad. We have, as a society, been plagued with abuses of many kinds for centuries. Sadly, even though the awareness of abuse is accentuated via internet exposure, it also has been used as a tool to perpetrate abuses and cater to groups who engage in abuses themselves. As much as I think that knowledge is power, I also believe that any decline in abuse is countered by a readily available market of dark web propaganda. HG exposing his mindset as to how an abuser thinks is beneficial but sadly, narcissistic behavior is rapidly being condoned by the me first mindset.

  31. Noname says:

    It smells like a Big Revenge.

    Harvey Weinstein, Kevin Spacey, Brett Ratner, Dustin Hoffman were Clinton clan’s active supporters.

    Michael Oreskes wasn’t a fan of Trump also – “Trump states misinformation because he can reach lots of people with whatever his version of reality is.”

    I don’t know who Richard Fallon is though, but maybe he said something unpleasant about Trump also? Or is he a random “participant” of Big Mill?

    It seems, that a bromate Putin advised Trump how to deal with “traitors”, because it is exactly how he deals with them himself. It is a typical “russian style”. True or not true victims are irrelevant. They all are pawns. The General Line is “Big Daddy shows that he is really Big” and, of course, many of “collateral people” use this opportunity to get some benefits for themselves.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      It should be Michael Fallon, I’ve amended it – he was the UK Defence Secretary caught up in an inappropriate sexual behaviour ‘storm’ that has arisen in Westminster.

    2. Noname says:

      Ah, I see. So, he wasn’t connected to Trump in any form, right?

  32. Janr says:

    I love this post.

    Who is behind outing the predators?

    Netflix and Amazon investors.

  33. In my opinion, it is the whole Hollywood machine. Many (actors, producers, directors, film crews, etc.) make money from the success of those who do well. It behooves them to look the other way so the gravy train doesn’t stop. Hundreds of people have jobs dependent upon the success (all of the people who work on House of Cards, for example).

    1. Oh, and excellent in-depth article!

  34. abrokenwing says:

    Beyoncé’s song should be reworded to
    ‘ Who run the world? Narcs! ‘

  35. Salome says:

    “What type of people do you think are behind causing this to happen and allowing it to happen?”
    The enemies of predators (compétition, opponent).

    P.S.
    DEAR HG
    I WOULD LIKE TO READ:
    1)YOUR NEW BOOK
    2)THE ARTLICLE ABOUT CONTAGION EMPATH

    1. Twilight says:

      Salome

      What is the rush in seeing the Contagion article?
      Pushing the issue will not make HG release it. He will when he sees fit to do such.

      1. Windstorm2 says:

        Twilight
        If he’s like my narcs, pushing him will slow him down. Lol!! Although I’m sure he sets those type manipulations aside when he works on the blog.

    2. Sophia says:

      Book a consultation with HG. If you think the contagion empath relates to you he may be able to give you specific information you’re looking for. 😀

    3. K says:

      Everyone is an opponent from the perspective of the narcissist.

      1. HG Tudor says:

        Correct.

  36. Michael Jackson is another sexaul predator. Great article by the way, HG, per usual.

  37. Mona says:

    I have an idea, which sounds very absurd at the first moment but I cannot get it out of my brain. Suddenly true victims and other persons are encouraged to talk about their bad and awful experience. It becomes socially welcome to condemn the perpetrators and to punish them. (which is very laudable and absolutly to support)

    Who was the first one who declared in public that he can do with a woman what he wants because of his power? Trump…

    There are a lot of people who want Trump to go. Maybe a lot of powerful narcissists in the background try to install a smear campaign against him, which is not so obvious at first. They could abuse the victims for their own aims.

    And the true victims must have been repelled by what Trump had said about power and sexual abuse.

    Or Trump himself is behind that to get rid of some powerful people who could do some damage to him.

    I do not know which one is right. I do not know enough .

    But I smell the constructed and supported smear campaign. It has nothing to do with the real suffering/ sorrow/misery of the true victims.

    These are my assumptions. And these are assumptions and nothing else.

    1. Tappan Zee says:

      And the true victims must have been repelled by what Trump had said about power and sexual abuse.

      ^ yes. he is vile. not because he is a shit show. those are dime a dozen. me too (not a bandwagon thankyou) but as a victim of sexual assault, what he said last year and all other clips, remarks, etc make rage ignite inside me like that of a narc. i cannot explain how intensely i burn when seeing and hearing him. because of the sexual abuse. it triggers me. every. fucking. day.

    2. Sniglet says:

      Mona

      The point that you made that Trump could possibly be involved in bringing down some of the Hollywood predators has crossed my mind. Hollywood is very liberal and speaks against President Trump often. Trump has also discussed the end of government subsidy to the arts, upsetting many. Another point which I have heard from some media sources is that the Chinese have invested heavily in Hollywood studios and want to capitulate power through propaganda and possibly want to bring down the current heavyweights. Some apparently noticed that movie stories show China as the winner, previously movies showed the USA always winning. In any event, Hollywood is not producing great movies as in previous years. They have moved too far left and people have lost interest. Regardless, I noticed a shift in the presentation of data not only in news but movies and internet where information I once accessed is no longer readily available. I actually dislike it very much and it is truly bothersome.

      I also believe that the victims are secondary in this Hollywood sex story. It feels subtly political in nature.

      1. HG Tudor says:

        There is much force in your thinking, Sniglet.

      2. Mona says:

        Sniglet, I did not observe Hollywood. So you gave me very valuable information. Nevertheless, do not forget that Hollywood could use money to make more documentary films about Trump or could produce a criminal movie which describes a special kind of president…
        So interesting….. I am hunting information now….

        Two days ago I saw an interview with Oliver Stone . It was a documentary about him and his movies about Wall Street. He said in that documentary, that in his second movie Trump had a little role! Of course he played himself. Stone cut it unfortunately out in the past, smiled about it with a special smile and said that he did not know that Trump would be president. If he had known it, Trump could be seen in that movie- for one or max. two minutes. Smiled again.
        You know that Stone`s first movie about Wall Street has been the exact description of what was happening in real life at Wall Street at the same time. Perfect timing!!!.
        Stone was disappointed that his intention to show people how ugly that business is, turned into the opposite. People admired the dark hero of the first movie….Hm, that is another painful experience.

        There are connections…

        Trump wants to silent the press and also the big movie-makers, if it is possible.

        This is my opinion at the moment. But it is the task of the American to look, if there could be something right in my theory. Please observe it. I would not be unhappy, if my dark thoughts would be only dark thoughts…

      3. Sniglet says:

        There is always more to the story. The infiltration in the current political spectrum and demolishing those in power is happening through the hearts and minds of women (young, old, rich, poor) via the guise of feminism through “the future is female”, equal pay, redistribution, creation of beta males and they don’t even know it. Pierce the weaker sex to get to the stronger. There is a war on their mind.

    3. narc affair says:

      I had thought if it was trump itd be to deflect from what he had said about grabbing crotch(and russian involvement) and to also have the liberal arts community at each other. Most of LA are liberals or at least the hollywood entertainment sector. Not all but a large portion are against trump. They carry a lot of power in being seen and heard.
      Of course this is all conspiracy theory when in actuality i think were seeing a domino effect. The more people come forward the more it is accepted and whether used as a motive of some kind or out of the mouth of a true victim its being believed and taken seriously which is about high time. Strength in numbers. People are finding their voice even in hollywood. They are able to say me too and be taken seriously. Social media and the internet are to thank for that. As far as it being allowed why wouldnt it?
      The USA isnt a communist country and freedom of speech is still in effect. Anyone can post anything on twitter(as weve seen 🙄) and the news establishment can air what they choose.

      1. narc affair says:

        Bill cosby is a prime example that happened way before trump was in office. I dont think anyones behind it except some fed up victims that want to expose the seedy side to the entertainment business. The bill cosby outing was a catalyst for many more like it. ” Be the change you want”.

      2. HG Tudor says:

        It is not so much a case of it now being allowed, as that smacks of censorship, but rather there are may different ways to keep certain information hushed up or to impact on it so if it leaks it is not picked up extensively and/or is diluted in its impact through a variety of ways.

      3. narc affair says:

        Hi HG…ty for your reply. I dont know the ins and outs of the news and so forth but i do think it was always there and certain catalysts brought out the domino effect of victims coming out to blow the whistle. I think sometimes it just takes one person to start change and is a good lesson to not be afraid to use your voice for what you believe in. Narcissists will try and squash the truth(except you HG) from coming out but that doesnt mean we should sit idle out of fear of not being heard or believed. I really think the bill cosby case was the catalyst and more victims are coming forward.
        Its possible what you say that things are hushed up but i dont think thats fully possible in this case. Take a look at trump wanting to get rid of certain news like cnn or controlling what they show. He also wanted to get rid of saturday night live for mocking him. Government has a lot of control but in the USA it doesnt have absolute control. Freedom of speech is still very much prevalent. I think years ago preinternet there was no platform to get your voice out there and heard. The very few people told would not make an impact so victins didnt tell. They were afraid itd cause their careers more harm than good. Now with social media people have more of a fanbase and arent as afraid to speak their mind. Strength in numbers. I do see in movies this theme of narc abuse coming out as seen in “the mother” and people are awakening to different kinds of abuse namely narcissistic. People are no longer in the dark and have more empowerment and this i feel is what we are seeing now with victims exposing the sexual abuse out there.

        1. Windstorm2 says:

          Narc Affair
          My opinion as well. Plus I don’t think Trump is smart enough or has enough control over himself to pull it off.

          Thanks for reminding me of Saturday Night Live! Their “in your face” lampooning of all and sundry has always made me proud to be an American – where no person is ever sacred, no matter how powerful.

      4. narc affair says:

        Hi windstorm.. i dont think trump is smart enough but he has people working for him that are but in the end democracy is still alive and freedom of speech. As far as it being controlled in the past i cant say for certain bc i dont know the dynamics of the news etc but i do feel the internet and certain other factors have catalyzed this “me too coming out” about abuse.
        Alec baldwins portrayal of trump cracks me up lol
        I dont get into political debates or diminish others rights to their beliefs so if youre a trump supporter my apologies.

        1. windstorm2 says:

          Narc Affair
          I don’t get into many political debates, either. I’m one of those old time bleeding-heart liberals and we’re too outnumbered here in Kentucky to call attention to ourselves. Lol!

          1. K says:

            WS2
            Watch out the Tories will tar and feather you!

          2. Windstorm2 says:

            K
            Hard to tar n feather a Kentuckian because we’re always armed. Comes from an instinctive distrust of government. Even we liberals all have guns in our houses.

          3. K says:

            WS2
            Excellent. The liberals in Massachusetts would swoon at the sight of a gun.

          4. Windstorm2 says:

            I imagine they have as low an opinion of us as we have of them. We’d call them “Big city liberals.”

            Ours is definitely a gun culture. Children often have their own rifle by 5 or 6 years old. You see 6 year olds who have taken deer. In my middle school we even teach hunter safety to 11 year olds and they have to pass a firearm safety test with real weapons. Little rural communities often get together for community skeet shooting. Lots of people, myself included, have conceal carry permits and are subject to be armed in public at any time.

            It’s just part of life and not at all a bad part. I’m sure it seems strange to other cultures, but living without firearms seems very strange to me. I don’t think I’d like it at all.

      5. narc affair says:

        I also want to add that i think a major reason why abuse is being exposed is bc of people like you HG. Youre telling what wasnt being told years ago. Youre exposing abuse and you put narcissism on the map of knowledge. Youre part of the change we are seeing. Your blog has empowered many and your information is getting out there via social media and this blog. Youre giving a voice to all those people who didnt tell and who kept quiet and youre blowing the cover off of narcissism.
        The multitude of utubers coming forth are also exposing abuse and the victims all play a part in taking a stand against all types of abuse.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Thank you NA.

  38. LL says:

    You pointing out these real life examples is so helpful & educational. Keep them coming!

    1. LL says:

      PS – re your question at the end – my first thought is Gwyneth Paltrow.

      1. Bibi says:

        I can’t stand her. I remember laughing when I heard she had something like $150K of merchandise stolen from her ridiculous ‘store.’ My immediate question was, ‘What did they steal? A bottle of lotion, a scarf and a pair of socks?’

        Wait, forget the pair of socks. One sock. No, even that would cost too much.

  39. K says:

    Other narcissists are behind this, of course. I read your comment earlier about how your kind throw each other under the bus, literally and figuratively.

    1. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD. says:

      K,

      What I continue to find ridiculous is how they ask for loyalty but give no loyalty what-so-ever.

      You can’t expect loyalty and readily throw people under the bus and then continue to expect loyalty after that lmao!

      That is legit batshit.

      1. K says:

        Dr Q

        From our perspective it is utter batshit, however, narcissists are hypocritical and contradictory, and from their perspective it makes complete sense. Anything to protect the construct/false reality. All my narcissists used to throw each other under the bus, it was almost entertaining to watch.

    2. narc affair says:

      Poetic justice!

      1. K says:

        narc affair
        ha ha ha ha ha…thanks for the laugh.

    3. K says:

      e. The imbalance of power

      The newspaper reports, Restaurants Rife With Sexual Harassment:

      “Male managers hire young women with less life and work experience, who tend to be easier targets, he says; he’s seen situations where a restaurant will intentionally hire single mothers because, in a tighter financial situation, they are less likely to speak up about inappropriate treatment. About 75 percent of the cases, he says, involve married men with poor impulse control. ”

      Poor impulse control is indicative of a disordered individual. I posit that those married men, and managers, are most likely narcissists.

      1. Windstorm2 says:

        K
        I agree.

  40. Nina says:

    Thank you, this all makes so much sense!!

  41. Windstorm2 says:

    Well, the obvious answer is narcs or the lieutenants of narcs who have felt a change in the wind and feel they will better benefit by no longer hiding the misdeeds. After all, these are the only people who would have hidden them in the first place. While anyone may have been a victim and not spoken up, only narcs and their flying monkeys would have covered up the abuse of others.

    1. WS2,
      I agree with your answer. I think a part 2 to the answer is other Narcs using the opportunity for revenge or to clear a space at the table of jealously guarded jobs or parts in that industry.

  42. Tappan Zee says:

    Thankyouuuu!!!!

  43. Paula Sarno says:

    Is Angelina Jolie a narcissist ? Thank you HG

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Wait and see PS.

      1. Paula Sarno says:

        I can’t wait !!!! 😂😂

      2. HG Tudors # 1 fan says:

        Angelina Jolie is a beautiful narcissist.

        1. Paula Sarno says:

          Thank you HG. I am trying myself about what I have learned with you and books etc . All those adopted and biological children …. I can imagine the amount of fuel ….

    2. narc affair says:

      I think she definitely is a narc!!

      1. Sophia says:

        I agree. Her and Brad Pitt.

    3. Erin says:

      I thought she had an eating disorder? I find it hard to picture a narcissist being anorexic or bulimic, although I have no idea id eating disorders are common among narcs…Perhaps among victim narcissists or somatics? It seems very “punishing” for a narcissist to put themselves through that.

      1. HG Tudor says:

        I know of one narcissist who is bulimic, but no others.

      2. Tappan Zee says:

        Random two cents. I think eating disordered behavior can mimic narcissim, and not be. And once/if recovered.. Would look much less narcisstic in nature. I have an eating disorder. I know from personal experience and “the inside” how it can appear when active (the disorder) vs. various stages of recovery. I feel and care deeply. Way too much. An addiction can take the appearance of that away. Not caring. And someone who thinks anorexia or bulimia is all about ‘looking good’ (which i suppose it can be, but doubtful it is that superficial or transparent in reality — was not for me) it masked layers and layers and layers of feeling, caring, guilt, shame, et al. but on the outside? She does not care. She only wants to be perfect. She this and she that. Wrong. Wrong.Wrong. For me. Tra-la-la.

        1. Paula Sarno says:

          I had a close friend , who had an eating disorder ( when she was a teenager ) sn she is a number one psychopath .
          I am not saying one disorder is related to the narcissism . But , maybe , it ‘ s just s way to call attention . And I was the one that ask the question about A Jolie , she is a clear narcissist to me . All that attention , all those kids , the sudden enchantment for her by Brad Pitt when he was still married . The drugs , the charity , etc etc . She looks like my ex psychopath

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