Everyone needs validation in order to maintain a healthy self esteem. People need to be liked, acknowledged, receive affection etc we are social animals after all. The difference is whether or not you’re willing to harm or deceive others to get it.
Narcaffair.. sorry about the typo on the name I’m using a phone and to be fair I couldn’t see it properly.. I was a little upset and sent straight off the bat.. all the type enlarges once sent..x
You seem a person to think things through and logic will give you the win so you got this. Youre prepared and know what to do so dont give them power by dreading the hoover-save your energy for slamming the door in their face when it happens. Just like you know you have to take out the garbage next week. Not pleasant but its in the bag and you dont think about it until you have to take it to the curb. Then you forget about it til the next time.
Hi debra.. i agree! Its society today. They rely too heavily on social media to feel good about themselves. More attention is paid to friends theyll never meet than their family and friends in real life. Put your phone down and live life.
Agree big time. Im not on Facebook Twitter Instagram or anything.
Nevertheless I’m feeling pretty miserable right now.
It’s been a hell of a year it’s my birthday coming up and Christmas and I’m going to be hoovered I know it.
still I’ve learnt a lot and I know what to do.
This is where it is so hard I do implement what I’ve learned. It isn’t as if I want everything back I don’t but it’s the disappointment and realisation that weighs for now… There are days when I feel completely discouraged.
Hi debbiewolf…im sorry to hear youre feeling miserable. Its not an easy road travelled but once you get over the rough stages youll be feeling so much stronger and more free. You can do this! 👍👍👍
Im on facebook and even i find i get trapped in the validation trap of looking at notifications and likes. Its easy to become conditioned by those little hits thru the day.
Thankyou for your kind encouragement…bucking up today..it was one of those slump type of days..I am grateful for this blog and the really special bond to all here.
Just at work at mo..in a break..feeling better today thanks to HG and you guys here.
Hi debbiewolf.. so glad to hear youre doing better. One thing to remember and i try to remind myself of this is when you feel low it passes. You never stay in one mood forever. When feeling depressed or youre struggling its only temporary. I know these are the moments people cave in and contact their narcs. As a dear friend used to say to me….this too shall pass and i stick to this mantra when things get rough 💓
Thanks NarcAffair…x . I am pleased I didn’t cave .
It’s so very true to think how the moment will pass and it’s so important to have someone who just reminds us of that in the moment .. because everybody has a moment where they can’t see forward even if the day before was good.. I am a bit hard on myself sometimes because I should know better is what I say but at the end of the day I’m only human.. this is what I say to myself.
I’m absolutely blessed to have somebody like you and here to tell me to keep my chin up and its ok. Something we all need to hear from time to time and quite often I won’t admit to meeding now and again.
Hi debbiewolf…thats so sweet and its my pleasure! Youre doing what ive not done yet so pat yourself on the back and celebrate each step forward! I wish there were a narcaholic type sponser program where an escapee or even discardee could be hooked up with someone whose gone no contact and done it. They could call that person whenever theyre about to break no contact.
Its so very much like an addiction and detox/withdrawal is difficult to go thru. The blog is definitely a source of support and im very thankful for it! Weak moments are your enemy and they wont last and they do pass👍
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Witch
Or how much your happiness and existence relies on it.
Everyone needs validation in order to maintain a healthy self esteem. People need to be liked, acknowledged, receive affection etc we are social animals after all. The difference is whether or not you’re willing to harm or deceive others to get it.
Narcaffair.. sorry about the typo on the name I’m using a phone and to be fair I couldn’t see it properly.. I was a little upset and sent straight off the bat.. all the type enlarges once sent..x
Hope youre feeling more optimistic. Its not easy but so worth it what youre going thru to achieve happiness at the end.
Debbie Wolf
You seem a person to think things through and logic will give you the win so you got this. Youre prepared and know what to do so dont give them power by dreading the hoover-save your energy for slamming the door in their face when it happens. Just like you know you have to take out the garbage next week. Not pleasant but its in the bag and you dont think about it until you have to take it to the curb. Then you forget about it til the next time.
Sad thing is that this does NOT just apply to the narcissist. This applies to nearly everyone
Hi debra.. i agree! Its society today. They rely too heavily on social media to feel good about themselves. More attention is paid to friends theyll never meet than their family and friends in real life. Put your phone down and live life.
Natc Affair
Agree big time. Im not on Facebook Twitter Instagram or anything.
Nevertheless I’m feeling pretty miserable right now.
It’s been a hell of a year it’s my birthday coming up and Christmas and I’m going to be hoovered I know it.
still I’ve learnt a lot and I know what to do.
This is where it is so hard I do implement what I’ve learned. It isn’t as if I want everything back I don’t but it’s the disappointment and realisation that weighs for now… There are days when I feel completely discouraged.
All anyone can do is ride it out.
Hi debbiewolf…im sorry to hear youre feeling miserable. Its not an easy road travelled but once you get over the rough stages youll be feeling so much stronger and more free. You can do this! 👍👍👍
Im on facebook and even i find i get trapped in the validation trap of looking at notifications and likes. Its easy to become conditioned by those little hits thru the day.
Hi NarcAffair.
Thankyou for your kind encouragement…bucking up today..it was one of those slump type of days..I am grateful for this blog and the really special bond to all here.
Just at work at mo..in a break..feeling better today thanks to HG and you guys here.
So valuable. Xx
Hi debbiewolf.. so glad to hear youre doing better. One thing to remember and i try to remind myself of this is when you feel low it passes. You never stay in one mood forever. When feeling depressed or youre struggling its only temporary. I know these are the moments people cave in and contact their narcs. As a dear friend used to say to me….this too shall pass and i stick to this mantra when things get rough 💓
Thanks NarcAffair…x . I am pleased I didn’t cave .
It’s so very true to think how the moment will pass and it’s so important to have someone who just reminds us of that in the moment .. because everybody has a moment where they can’t see forward even if the day before was good.. I am a bit hard on myself sometimes because I should know better is what I say but at the end of the day I’m only human.. this is what I say to myself.
I’m absolutely blessed to have somebody like you and here to tell me to keep my chin up and its ok. Something we all need to hear from time to time and quite often I won’t admit to meeding now and again.
Thank you again NA. You are so kind. 💝xoxo.
Hi debbiewolf…thats so sweet and its my pleasure! Youre doing what ive not done yet so pat yourself on the back and celebrate each step forward! I wish there were a narcaholic type sponser program where an escapee or even discardee could be hooked up with someone whose gone no contact and done it. They could call that person whenever theyre about to break no contact.
Its so very much like an addiction and detox/withdrawal is difficult to go thru. The blog is definitely a source of support and im very thankful for it! Weak moments are your enemy and they wont last and they do pass👍
Validation, distraction, escape, addiction, obsession…it offers all of that except reality. Its a drug fix in another form to the narcissist.
That phone is the other 40 women you know nothing about.