Who’s The Daddy?



I remember when I first met you. It was on a dance-floor and of course I caught your eye, I wanted you to catch my eye. I always draw those needed admiring glances when I move through a crowd but whilst those were required and welcome, I was focussed on ensuring you noticed me. I knew that you would. It was just a question of time. It always is. I was stood near one of the bars.I always chose this bar as it was elevated allowing everyone to see me and allowing me to see everyone and it was from this vantage point that I observed you. I saw you enter the room, your tight as tight could be dress already turning heads and you smiled, winked and blew kisses as you walked down the steps onto the dance floor as if everybody in the club was there for you. You were confident alright but you were over confident and I could see straight through that. I kept watching you as you flirted with the men nearby, irrespective of whether they were with another lady and you seemed oblivious to the hateful stares you received from the handful of girlfriends or wives whose other halfs you flirted with. I was interested in you already. If I had a Spidey sense it would have been tingling.

Your lithe frame entered the dancefloor and you felt that the coloured lights and throaty bass were all there for you as you began to dance. You caught the eye of several men and one by one they tried to dance with you .I could see you smiling to yourself as you turned your back on those you deemed beneath you. Each of them was well-dressed and good-looking but you rejected them. You milled around the dance floor until you neared your target, a handsome chap but he was older than those you had rejected and he was your choice. You pulled the chosen one towards you and you began your dance with him. I could see the way that you were grinding against this man on the dance floor was provocative and suggestive. You maintained eye contact with him, as if letting him out of your sight would cause him to disappear. Your eyes burned with wanton desire and your undulating and writhing was most definitely sexual in nature. The sexual aggression flowed from you and this caught my interest. You appeared as a bright dot on my radar and I knew that I needed to learn more.

It was not long before this dance partner was cast aside and replaced by a tastier and more attractive prospect. Me. You draped your arms about my neck as we danced, ground your crotch into my thigh, turned and pushed your pert posterior into my crotch and it was clear you wanted to seduce me. I played along, reciprocating the movements, letting my hands glide across your body as I eventually steered you across to the bar area and sat beside you on a couch as I ordered us both a drink. This was the first time that I had seen you be still and it allowed me to appraise properly your appearance. Your hair, a dirty blonde colour was not cut but rather chopped short, sticking out in a variety of angles which gave the appearance of not caring but most likely had been carefully pulled and twisted into place before a generous layer of hair spray was applied. I reasoned that you wore your hair short because as a child you were denied the right to have it cut short. You always had to have it long and golden, like the hair of a princess. I bet your father would read you stories about Sleeping Beauty, Snow White and Rapunzel as he stroked your hair, telling you how beautiful it was because it was long. I imagined that you wanted to cut it as you got older, the length being difficult to maintain but moreover too symbolic of the safe, suburban and middle-class upbringing you had received when you wanted to rebel. I bet you fought to have that hair cut even just by a few inches but you were forbidden from doing so and now this punkish, chopped and almost butchered hair style was the two-fingered salute you had given to your past. It screamed its story to me since I recognised it from a mile.

Your lipstick was bright red, your eyes framed by black mascara, eye liner and a battleship grey eye shadow. You were thin. Stick-like and I recognised such a frame. You stared at me as you sucked on the straw sliding it in and out of those pursed lips as you tried, without subtlety, to suggest what I might have coming my way. You were much younger than me. I would imagine at least fifteen years between us. Nowhere near illegality of course, that is not my penchant at all, but a sufficient age gap that was noticeable and of course something they would comment on, he would comment on, if they ever met me. If.

I saw the tattoos on your arms, great sleeves of floral designs and also similar on your thigh as your already short dress rode up as you sat on the sofa. I could see the design was intricate and extensive across your left thigh but it did not mask the line of scars completely. That neat and ordered row of incisions that had been made in your thigh, like notches on a bedpost. They brought you relief, temporary and momentary, but they also shamed you and thus you sought the ink in an attempt to mask those wounds in the same way that I knew this overt  confidence, flirtation and sexual aggression was just a mask as well. That light on my radar shone brighter and I could almost smell the fuel that I knew would flow from you freely and readily, just like the blood had flowed down your thigh. I held your gaze, those flinty eyes trying to burn into my mind but getting nowhere, a slight flicker of confusion and then they shifted into conveying that desire you oozed. You had no idea whose web you had flown into but I knew exactly what you were.

“What time is your daddy picking you up?” I asked my question near shouted to be heard over the music playing.

You coughed, the straw shooting from your mouth as you jerked your glass away.

“What? My dad? He’s not picking me up,” you protested. Your expression was not one of mild amusement but rather disdain and irritation. Just as I thought it would be.

“Of course not. Why would he do that when you are coming home with me?” I added with a wide smile. Your eyes widened and you copied my smile.

“I do love daddy issues,” I said quietly.

“What?” you asked unable to hear.

“I said, I nearly missed you,” I replied in a louder tone, “I was about to go home.”

“Well, it is a good job you didn’t,” you answered as you moved closer to me, pressing that fragile and broken frame against me, seeking the warmth, shield and protection that I offered you. You had found your new daddy. I had found a potent new victim.

77 thoughts on “Who’s The Daddy?

  1. echo says:

    “I do love daddy issues” someone said almost these exact words to me the other day. I told him to f*ck himself. The interaction reminded me of this post, and made me think.

  2. PureRage says:

    Is that a true story?
    Did you do that HG?

    1. HG Tudor says:


  3. Iris says:

    Thank you guys!

    My last relationship with a narc (the one with the puppy eyes) was different than most narcissistic relationships.

    He wasn’t charming or exiting at all, in fact he was rather dull and plain looking. He looked lost and that was how he lured me in, as I’m a fixer.

    My golden period was also rather dull and I was never madly in love. Looking back I think I was never really in love. I just felt sorry for him and wanted to feel needed.

    Before I knew it I was sucked in the push and pull cycles and became addicted to him. It took me a while to get out of it and it took me even longer to get over it. But I’m finally there (or pretty close to it) and the sanity of my current relationship helps me a lot with my recovery.

  4. Lori says:

    I have recently been dating a normal guy as well, Iris. Before I met him I decided to only be interested in men that I would consider a friend (someone likable) and not someone that I was immediately hotly attracted to. It works out better when the normal guy is enamored with you (me) more than I am with him. The normals are the ones who are more loyal and respectful. Hell, I can create the spontaneity and excitement as long as he can create the feeling of safety and security and love-warmth that I need. I’m going into the last phase of my life and I want to be with someone long term – as in the rest of my life. All the older happy couples I’ve observed are with someone they consider to be their best friend. I’m trying that path now… Because if I haven’t learned something at least from being in a narc relationship for the past 6 years then shame on me !

    1. ava101 says:

      I’m trying that friend thing, too. But hasn’t been working so far. 🙁

    2. Somewhere over the rainbow says:


      That’s what I’ve found in my husband: my best friend and I reciprocate, of course. We make each other better persons, even after going through hard times (we learn from every situation). We are a team, no secrets between us. Better arguing a little now and finding a way out, than keeping a relationship “façade” and growing “monsters” within us. We face our mistakes. And yes, if he’s open minded, you can teach him to please you (those candy, flowers…things, even if he’s not as “romantic” as a narcissist) and you can learn to please him and keep that “surprise” elements as time goes by (I’m taking about nice surprises, not shocking ones, as in narc’s case).

      Burning passion (on and off, roller coaster), as far as I can see…it’s only for troubled relationships, not calm and long term ones.
      We all have to learn the difference between love and infatuation. Infatuation includes control need (even for empaths having narcissistic traits), love means freedom for you and for the partner. You respect yourself and his choices. If you let go of infatuation, you find love. I was there (“in love” with a narc) and now, looking back, I can say…that wasn’t true love, at least for me. That was brainwashing&brainstorming in a relationship. We all can do that to someone we don’t love, but we don’t because we have consciousness! When I felt I couldn’t love/respect a man the way he deserved, I told him and set him free.
      Emotional thinking doesn’t equal love imo. Took me years sorting that out…

  5. Iris says:

    I read somewhere that Frank Sinatra used women like toiletpaper. He charmed the pants off them and was pretty rude to them afterwards. Combined with his mafia connections he seems like an lower greater to me. But maybe he was just street smart, like a lesser.

  6. Iris says:

    Don’t worry Blank I ended that toxic relationship long ago.

    I’m currently dating a non-narc boyfriend, who is truly nice and doesn’t just pretend to be that way.

    It took me a while to get used to it though, because there is no roller coaster ride full of anxiety and excitement. I used to think that that sort of relationships were dull, but I love it.

    1. Blank says:

      Good for you Iris to have found a normal, They are a rarity these days ;). I can totally imagine that you had to get used to a life without the roller coaster ride. I’m happy for you now. Enjoy! x

  7. Iris says:

    Weird isn’t it Rainbow. I used to have a friend who was badly damaged by her mother (and still is). She used to complain about it all the time and I really felt sorry for her.

    Until the day she found a new boyfriend she treated the same way her mother treated her, silent treatments and all. She even boasted about it to me: how she had him wrapped around her little finger. When I said something about it she just laughed it away.

    So I ended that friendship. Who needs enemies with friends like that?

    1. Somewhere over the rainbow says:

      Iris, I understand…and that’s why I have many acquaintances and few friends, but I got certain about them in years of happy/unhappy life experiences.

      I’m glad to find out you have a non-narc bf now, I know it may get boring sometimes (I’m married to a predictable non-narc man, too) but in the long term it gets better, you’ll learn to appreciate him more and more. You have freedom to feel and speak for yourself, you have the right to give and receive attention/love, without the roller coaster and as years go by, Christmas time also gets better (not worse)!

      Best wishes to you, Iris!

  8. Somewhere over the rainbow says:

    A curiosity of mine: what “kind” do you think Frank Sinatra and Ava Gardner were? I read much on their story, I think they were both narcs, maybe you elucidate their “mystery”…

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I do not know enough about them and their relationship to form a view so far, I would say however that she got under his skin and she confirmed that deep down she was pretty superficial.

      1. Somewhere over the rainbow says:

        Thank you, HG! That’s also what I think about her, but I also read he tried to kill himself 2 or 3 times while in relationship with her (she told he was never in real danger, just trying to bring her back)…could those suicidal “attempts” be considered as hoovers? Is a narcissist able to do that for a hoover (risking his life)?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          A suicide threat is a Hoover Power Play when delivered by a narcissist.

  9. Somewhere over the rainbow says:

    You’ll damage her more than she’s already damaged. She was a victim of her father as you were a victim of your mother’s behavior. Instead of telling her what you know about being abused and help her understand and live a wiser life (you were given such a wonderful brain), you risk to destroy her because of a “brain power” fuel need.

    I know…emotionally thinking today, as the narc used to say to me when I spoke about things not interesting to him (criticising him or abusing his attention). At least I feel human and warm…and I have no Stockholm syndrome toward narcs.

  10. Iris says:

    This girl is clearly a borderliner. I’ve heard that narcs find them very attractive because their emotions are all over the place (lots of lovely fuel).

    Are they your favourite too HG?

    1. HG Tudor says:


    2. HGs favorite is a Super Empath.

      1. Iris,

        HG prefers Super Empaths as his favorite cadre of Empath.

        1. jenna says:


          Super empath is a school of empath, not cadre.

    3. Borderlines are a headache.

  11. Emily Lancer says:

    Giving E L James a run for her money there HG! More eloquent of course! As a Narc victim I do not consider myself to be from a damaged back ground. No daddy issues here! I was having marriage issues when the Narc strode, actually almost a swagger, into my world. Brimming with confidence and quickly charming me with attention and friendship making my husbands behaviour towards me even seem even more negative. What a vile shoulder to cry on. So he’s gone and hubby is back, and the counsellor is analysing me for chinks in my happy middleclass childhood, for the problem I feel is not there. Is it often damaged people that are chosen as victims HG? I was identified almost immediately, that’s when the mirroring and know I know to be lies started. Clearly favouring the confident, empathetic, friendly, gym bunny over her sullen and stressed out husband.
    Is it likely to be something dark in my past that allowed me to be seduced into an unlikely friendship with a much older, fatter, newly, for the third time married guy?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Good job you added the more eloquent part Emily! Yes, damaged people fulfil the special traits criteria – see the book ‘Sitting Target’ for more information.

  12. Blank says:

    I would totally not be interested in this type of man. I would probably recognize him as a narcissist. And you don’t fool me!
    No, it is the friendly, less outgoing type of man that I would trust, the shy-ish artistic intelligent kind. The one who looks so sweet and trustworthy. The one who will slowly ‘take care of’ your self-esteem. The one who has the best gaslighting and manipulation skills. The one who will make you feel you are a nobody, who forgets your birthday and mothers day, who will never ever bring you a present, who will not notice your new dress or your new hairstyle. The one who has never heard of the word ‘reponsibility’ and thinks raising his kids is his wifes duty. The one who considers his house a 5 star hotel and who wants to be treated as royalty. The one who’s IPPS is the bottle and who’s DLS smoking cannabis. The one who’ll cheat on you and tells you right away because he doesn’t care about your feelings. The one who will provoke and provoke and provoke and will make you snap right in front of your family. The one who’ll make everyone believe you must be a total mental case, because he is such a gentle man, so charming and intelligent.The one who kills you in the long run. The one who causes you think of committing suicide every single day.
    The coverted narc.The cerebral narc.
    That’s my kind of man!

    1. Blank says:

      coverted?🤔🙄 covert narc

    2. Iris says:

      Yep, the covert cerebral narc, I’ve had my fair share too.

      But my absolute favourite is the lost soul with his sad puppy eyes, begging me to rescue him from his dull mediocre life.

      There I am, eager to solve any problem that arises, real or imaginary. And does he ever appreciate it? Off course not.

      1. Blank says:

        Yes the puppy eyes! My last narc had the puppy look too 🙂
        No appreciation ever from a narc Iris. You better stop solving his problems. They really are immature and irresponsible.

      2. Windstorm2 says:

        Much better off to just rescue a puppy. He/she will appreciate it!

  13. Lou says:

    Strange question for you HG: do you have a preference between short and long hair in women, or no preference at all?
    Please do not give me the mirroring answer and I know that what matters is her potential to give fuel. But do you have any hair length preference?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I will ask you a question HG but you cannot answer ‘a’ and you cannot answer ‘b’ (even though those are the answers you will give) but must choose either ‘c’ or ‘d’.

      1. Lou says:

        So, what is it? C or D?… or E (no preference at all)?

        Come on, it is not that difficult!

        I guess it does not matter. You only see objects.

        But thanks for the laugh.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          I prefer long hair. Except when I prefer short hair.

      2. Lou says:

        And the mirroring. Again!

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Well how else is a lady to do her hair to my liking if she has no mirror to look in?!

      3. Lou says:

        So it is neither long nor short, but all the opposite?

        Got it. Thanks for your answer.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Long. Short. Curly. Bald. Shaved. Bring them all.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          I think a barbershop quartet would have covered it better.

      4. jenna says:


        “Long. Short. Curly. Bald. Shaved. Bring them all.”

        I’m seriously dying!!😂

      5. narc affair says:

        Lol HG 😄

    2. Lou,

      Why would he mirror you? You are a tertiary source.

      1. HG,

        I love you.

        HG, you are such a clever, charming, quick witted, dangerous psychopath, with great a sense of humor.

        You are indeed one of a kind.

        Where do i find your kind?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Thank you for the kind comments but you would do well to avoid our kind.

      2. HG TUdors Tertiary Source untill the day he dies or I die says:

        HGT Fan,

        1) Pedagogy
        2) Humor
        3) Evasiveness

  14. HG Tudors # 1 fan says:

    Patiently waiting on the article, “Spanked”

    1. The girl on this article is sexy.

  15. narc affair says:

    I see a bit of myself in this girl but am not at all her physically. The girl who was looking for that parent figure to fill that void that was missing. To get the validation she never had growing up. Ive always been attracted to older men way back into my teen years. Is it physical attraction or deeper? I think a combination of the two. I do find older men more considerate and reliable not to say age governs this but its been the case in my present relationship. My last was with a guy a few years younger than myself. We had very little connection.
    The girl in this story i feel sorry for. Shes clearly a borderline out searching for love in the wrong places. Shes luring men yet really is the prey to an older narcissistic man who will probably use her and spit her out. You can tell hes been involved with her type before and understands too well her vulnerabilities. He even knows her borderline disorder which is very telling that he may be a greater. Shes had a tumultuous home life and is rebelling and yet yearns for that love she never got. She thinks herself smart but is very naive.

    1. Blank says:

      Being attracted to older men, to my opinion, is often a result of incest, missing a father figure, low self-esteem and/or being an HSP. My dad would play no part in our upbringing. He was a teacher at a technical school, but had no good pedagogicall skills. He’s an introvert, is not flexible and has a rather black-and-white outlook on everything. Slightly autistic in a way I guess.
      I always felt attracted to older men, I thought boys and men my age were childish and immature and I felt ‘mature’ when older people would pay attention to me, because at home I didn’t get any. Right now I am more attracted to younger men, they appear to be more ‘alive’. But I’m not sure if I’ll ever date again. I might as well lay myself down in my coffin right away.(sorry, I’m in a pity-play-mood today, probably because of the dark days, lack of sunshine and serotonin).

      PS: sorry n.a. to ‘use’ your comment and make it all about me. I guess I’m a narc, I just refuse to see it and I probably fooled the therapist as well.
      Gonna go for a long walk in the woods now, have a nice day!

      1. Catherine says:

        Blank and narc affair,

        Your stories resonate so much with me. I’ve always been attracted to older men as well, up until now that is, I’m actually nowadays more content with men my own age. And I’ve given it lots of thought; thinking it stems from my childhood too. My narcissistic mother demanded all available space in our family and my father just kind of zoomed out; he was physically present, but mentally he wasn’t there ever. I guess I’ve been chasing what I never had. The kind of strong man that could protect and honour me; who wouldn’t ever let me get hurt, whisking me away from the pain my mother inflicted upon me, keeping me safe. Also, I’ve come to realise that I tend to go into a relationship expecting the kind of dynamic a narcissist thrives in, I have this uncontrollable need in me to be the woman, to play the traditional gender roles; to be small and subservient, expecting some kind of weird validation and salvation in return. That’s just not healthy behaviour. I realise that.

        And Blank, you’re not a narcissist; now I managed to make all this about me;) I hope your walk in the woods helped a bit. The darkness of winter sure does accentuate the pain within but you seem to me to be vivacious and strong.

      2. narc affair says:

        Hi blank…oh gosh please dont feel you overtook my post i enjoy when you reply and i also like to hear about yours and others experiences. It helps to see things from a different angle. Ive been guilty of black and white thinking but have improved a lot and thats bc im open to others opinions and perspectives.
        Its funny im attracted to older men but younger men seem to be the ones who flirt with me moreso. When it comes down to it its more the personality than age but ive found older men more charming and in tune with what a woman needs and wants but thats just my experience.
        As for incest no but possibly the father figure. My father wasnt around much. He preferred drinking and hanging out with his friends. Ironically in my relationship i think its more a result of what i didnt get from my mother. Its like i chose another narc to give me what she didnt. Its a combination of things. I do enjoy him as a person despite his narc disorder. Its strange tho that it took him for me to find out about my mum and narcissism.
        Dont give up on the dating just take it at your own pace and the main thing is your peace and happiness.

      3. narc affair says:

        Hi Catherine…ty for your reply. When i say older man maybe 10 yrs older but my narcs 16 yrs older. He doesnt look his age at all. Id say he looks late 40s early 50s. He will be 61 in january. I just prefer the old fashioned type of genteel kind of man. His familys originally from the carolinas so maybe some of his charms from his upbringing idk. He can be so charming but also immature and provoking.
        Its interesting to take a look at why were attracted to a certain type of person bc it says a lot about ourselves and what traits we deem important and which we dislike.

      4. Blank says:

        Thanks Catherine, indeed I think our situations are alike. You want a safe home. As a child I never regarded our home as not being safe, although my mother would regularly spank me (even using her slippers, so she would not hurt her hands). You think that behavior is normal, you don’t know anything else as a child. Also I was my dad’s girl and although he never really spoke with me, I felt safe with him. Until my mother decided to give us all the silent treatment, which lasted for days, making everyone very anxious. At some point I made a smart comment and my dad snapped. He threw me against the wall and never stopped hitting me untill my mother came to rescue me, yelling “you’re gonna kill her, stop it stop it”. As soon as my father came to his senses, he started crying and apologizing.
        I couldn’t sit for 2 days, but somehow I forgave him, because I understood why he snapped. He never touched me again. I moved out of the house short after that.

        I am traditional also C, totally not in my way of thinking (I’m quite unconventional), but in household duties I am. I was the perfect ‘Stepford wife’ untill I became depressed and sociophobic.

        I’m glad the comment was about you this time Catherine 🙂 After writing a comment I always feel that I take to much space and I also think my comments probably sound ‘childish’ as my English vocabulary is limited. Scandinavian people usually are fluent in English I noticed. You certainly are Catherine
        It is nice to get a few things out here. Poor HG, who has to read all the blah, blah. Sorry HG, I love you sweetheart :). I’ll compensate all todays comments the next few days, cause I won’t have the time to read anything.

        Yes thanks C, I love walking in the woods, I often see deer and wild boars. I also scooped 3 containers full of leaves from my yard. Thankfully it wasn’t raining for a change.
        Thanks for your kindness, I never considered myself to be strong, but I must be, because the whole narc business is only half of all the shit that happened in my life and I survived it all. Just kept breathing I guess. Now, that’s enough pity play for today 😉 Gonna pour myself a nice glass of Rioja. Cheers C and narc affair, love you girls! xx

        1. HG Tudor says:

          I approve of the rioja.

      5. Blank says:

        narc affair, on your comment of 15.25 hrs.

        I agree with you on the older men being more charming. It’s just that the younger ones are better looking and you can’t tell a character from the outside (unfortunately ;)). I will never go for the looks only though. And I agree, you sometimes need a narc to find out about the other narcs. As for dating, I try to be happy and confident on my own right now. I have 10 wonderful female friends, that I’ve all known for a very long time, that I can hang out with. I’ll just wait and see if maybe I bumb into Mr. Soulmate someday 🙂

      6. ava101 says:

        Hm … I like younger men, but am trying to find a partner my age. I think the advantage in later years (haha) is really that the character must show with time, and what a guy has made of himself, how he conducts his life, etc. So, a really great guy can be very exciting when older (I mean more like 40ies). Problem is – I don’t see that many that I find really interesting, and whom I would regard as having developed with the years (or matured) for the better. … Sooo many (only profiles) where I think – OMG, how immature can one be after a divorce, after having worked for decades, after having had kids, and so on ….
        It’s true, it doesn’t show yet in the cuuute younger ones. That’s a problem, too, and they can be sooo self centered.
        In short: I have no idea where to find a mature, good guy. Who isn’t taken. And who takes care of himself and his physique and is not a narc that way.

      7. Catherine says:

        Hi narc affair, that’s true. It’s really interesting to take a look at the men we fall in love with relating this to who we are. My narcissist was actually younger than me by two years, that’s a first for me, and he wasn’t really my type at all. My usual type would be the few years older, strong, quiet, but intellectual kind of guy. My narcissist came across as quite brutish, primitive, brutal at times; still smart, conservative and with this dark mysterious side to him; there was an overwhelming attraction in that for me. And I know I consciously wanted someone different when I met him. I’d given up on playing « safe »; I wanted something extraordinary I guess. I really don’t know what to want anymore right now or how to turn the not-so-extraordinary kind of relationships I had in the past into what I think I need. But I tried reenacting my childhood and it didn’t turn out well. So I don’t trust my instincts with men at all right now I guess. On the other hand I’m enjoying some time alone now and I hope to figure it all out.

      8. Catherine says:

        I’m so sorry to read about your childhood Blank, I can’t even imagine how hard that would’ve been for you, but I guess that what doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger and I do see that quality of fierce strength shining through in your posts. Your English is more than fluent; I thought you were a native English speaker before. But I do recognise the difficulty sometimes at finding the exact right wording in English; I have more access to nuances in my own language, so it’s a struggle.

        And I also approve of the Rioja. Great choice!

    2. 12345 says:

      Hi Narc Affair,
      Someone else said this girl was borderline and I’d love for you to expand on that. I was this girl after 10 years of sexual abuse from my stepfather. I was desperate for affection but had been trained that sex was my only currency to get love or attention of any kind. I also do not fit her physical description. I’ve been in psychiatric care since 16. We’ve talked about all the cluster B personality disorders and ruled out borderline early on among others. Help me understand how she is clearly borderline. I’m not seeing it. Thanks in advance.

      1. narc affair says:

        Hi 12345…ty for your question. First off im in no way an expert on bpd but am learning more about it. The tell tale sign was when he noticed the marks on her arms which signifies shes cutting herself. This can be a symptom of the disorder. Not all with bpd self harm tho. Ill post more about bpd in relation to this blog once im home. There were other traits that pointed to bpd.

        1. 12345 says:

          Ty NA. You’re right. I missed the cutting part. Fortunately, I didn’t take that route but I sure could’ve. My mom is BPD and my natural father is a sociopath. I’m terrified of being either one and I’ve grilled my psych about being both. I thought I was the narc when I was with the narc. All played a role in trying to convince me I was the sick one so my heart sinks when I read things like that. Psych assures me I’m not but the voice in my head constantly hears the parents and narc wanting me to believe I am.

      2. jenna says:


        I’m so sorry to read abt the sexual abuse frm ur step father. It’s very sad. I wish u continued healing and peace. 🌸

        1. 12345 says:

          Bless you😘 Sister and I are better but I’ve pretty much given up on complete healing. Boundaries have been the best for me though. They strengthened 10-fold after discovering HG.

          1. jenna says:


            Yes, sadly complete healing is not possible. It leaves us scarred, with many symptoms. We can just do our best. I am v glad u r strengthening ur boundaries. Hg’s information really helps w that. I too, am learning to establish boundaries.

      3. narc affair says:

        Hi 12345…i also wanted to say how sorry i am you endured sexual abuse. I too was molested but it wasnt ongoing. That mustve really impacted your life in so many ways. (((Hugs)))

        In the blog…there are a few traits i can see as bpd traits but dont for certain distinguish someone with the disorder.
        The narrarator which is the narcissist points them out which tells me hes a greater bc hes knowledgable on disorders and is very calculating.
        Some traits mentioned are her need to change her hair and rebel against her parents who always wanted it long and girly like.
        Her tattoos which could signify impulsivity but again anyone could get a tattoo and not have bpd.
        The promiscuity of how shes dressed and trying to lure men. This could signify trying to find someone to fill her need of validation and attention. She needs to be noticed.
        I think for me it was the cut scars that told me this character has bpd.

        A side story but i have a hairstylist ive gone to for years and i had noticed a few yrs back these marks on her arms in a row. I asked about them not knowing about bpd. She told me she did some stupid things growing up. I now know why she had them and feel horrible. Ive never brought up bpd to her. Shes the sweetest friendliest person and i had no clue she had a rough childhood. Very sad 🙁

        1. 12345 says:

          Thanks NA. Those are definitely all characteristics for sure. I was mostly a slut but that’s all I knew. Have sex and they’ll adore you. Thank God that decade is over for me. Everyone here has more than enough sadness. BUT we also have HG😃😃😃

      4. Blank says:

        My heart goes out to you 12345. I hope you will be able to live a good life despite everything you had to go through. Make sure from now on you protect your own needs and safety.Take care! xx

  16. 12345 says:

    God I hate there’s no edit on WordPress 🙄

  17. 12345 says:

    I have a soft spot for this girl every time I read it. She’s still partly me. Insecure, no self worth, desperate, overcompensating, sad. I’m sometimes still this girl ins ThankwaI just don’t let her out anymore.

  18. Gabrielle says:

    Do we ever find out what happens next with this story? Inquiring (and horny, but mostly curious inquiring) minds want to know.

    1. narc affair says:

      Lol gabs!!! Id like to see a continuation too. It could be narcs of our lives soap opera 😄 another one im curious to see a continuation is what “goes on below”. My guess being a greater he walks out and gives an absent silent treatment for a few days.

      1. K says:

        Or maybe she becomes part of HG’s dark fuel matrix…

      2. Blank says:

        Aren’t all soap operas about narcs and empaths, narc affair? 🙂

      3. narc affair says:

        Hi blank…most definitely and true to life.

    2. HG Tudors # 1 fan says:

      Still waiting on the follow up article “spanked” HG.

  19. Catherine says:

    Oh, and that’s a potent story in itself.

    I wouldn’t be that girl, my dress wouldn’t be that tight, it would cling to me in a more womanly way; it wouldn’t be that short either, but still it probably wouldn’t reach my knees; I might not be that young; I would be closer to you age maybe; and I would be the girl in a green dress with hair still obediently long and curly along my back; sat shyly close to the dance floor, legs crossed, smiling sweetly, keeping vigilant guard of my scars within. But you. You would see me anyway. You always would.

    That’s what I need to change about myself I guess.

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