A Letter to the Narcissist – No. 55

 

MICHElle - letter

Dear Reverend Narc,

You think that you have them all fooled, don’t you?

You charm the deaconesses every Sunday with your yellowed crooked smile, shake hands with the deacons and fellow pastors, act as the worship leader, prayer warrior, guest greeter, offering preparer. Give the eulogies at funerals, officiate at weddings, teach Bible study and Sunday School, dance on the altar, play for the choirs, close your eyes and raise your hands to the Lord.

What a farce! What a fake! What a fabricator! You will burn in hell in the hottest section. You forget that you CANNOT fool God, who knows all about your duplicity, your lies and your masks! He knows that I was the fourth wife of your six marriages. Two ex-wives were “hoovered back” and married you twice! Really?  You are no doubt working on wife number five, marriage number seven since I have gone “No Contact” for almost one year now.

I fell completely head over heels in love with you in such a short time because you “rescued” me after a disappointing marriage, and it was so easy for me to love you because you were my first boyfriend whom I adored at sixteen! I never knew what a monster you were (even then), and still are. I only found out about what you truly were after I divorced you following two and one half years of hell on earth.

I will NEVER FORGET that demonic stare, that narcissistic rage, that irascible fury! You were such an abusive excuse for a man, husband and father! No wonder all of your other ex-wives left you for other men, and your daughter from marriage number four wants absolutely nothing to do with you.

You cursed me out, threatened to burn my parents’ house down because my mother offered my ex somewhere to live on a temporary basis, had me in tears innumerable times (I’ll never forget that time in Atlantic City on the beach at 10 ‘o’clock on a Sunday night when you told me if I really loved you I did not need to talk with my mother about moving to Afghanistan if you got that civilian position, or right before Christmas 2011 when you made me choose between my mother and you  as to where I should spend Christmas Day?) On both occasions I was sobbing like a child who has cried so hard that they can’t seem to catch their breath.

You ruined birthdays, holidays, vacations, trips to the zoo, even our honeymoon when I had the audacity to ask you about a tour while you were counting our spending money! Do you remember that Sunday morning (right before church) that you got angry with me because I had forgotten to take the double lock off of the hotel room door?  We were on our way to church. Do you remember that Sunday morning when you yelled at me on your front steps because I defied your mandated order by not agreeing to be dropped off at church without you? Again, we were on our way to church.

I thank God every day that I gathered the strength and the courage to escape from you – Satan personified. Have a nice life, and look forward to your eternal damnation in Hell Rev!

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13 thoughts on “A Letter to the Narcissist – No. 55”

  1. Hi michelle…narcissists come in all professions and the church is not exempt. There are many in the church that are narcissists hiding behind religion and its upsetting bc they give god and faith a bad name. Not to get off on a religious tangent but there will always be narcissists in the church but dont let that turn you away from your faith. I see so many judge religion by the narcissists theyve encountered in the churches and judge god by these peoples actions. People were given free will and choice and thats not gods doing thats their choice!
    Its good you got out of the marriage bc it sounded very toxic. Your narc took religion as part of his facade to gain fuel like any other narcissist out there. He used it to decieve people and gain power.

  2. What. In the. Fucking. Shit.

    You couldn’t choose between your supposed life partner and your BITCH ASS SMELLY SNATCH OF A MOTHER?!

    BITCH WHY?! WHY BITCH, WHY?

    You were “sobbing like a child” over your mother?

    THE FUCK? Are you a goddamned lesbian, or just another female narcissist?

      1. Sometimes, MLA, there is the occasional comment that comes out of left field and I and bewildered by it.

        Lima
        Oscar
        Lima

    1. ….Ups, what a strange and offensive comment. Where does all this come from?
      I just found it now, I read it (would have been better not to find it) : no comments.

  3. The timing of this letter is so random. Narc #1 is my husband. I left him about a year and and discovered HG who helped me connect all my remaining dots. I poured myself into my work, and that’s when I discovered Narc #2 was my boss. He was also a Pentecostal preacher in rural Arkansas. That one took longer to figure out bc 1) I couldn’t believe lightning was striking twice, and 2) he was a “man of God.” HG’s ‘Holy Narcissist’ was what confirmed my suspicions. And JUST YESTERDAY, I put it together that the pastor at my own church was Narc #3. I never much cared for him anyway, so that one isn’t as personal, but it does mean if I’m correct that I’m going to have to consider leaving my church that I’ve loved over the years, that all my family attends. Ugh.

  4. BOOM!! We cannot expose them to their Lieutenants without us looking like the crazy, abusive one but we can do on HG’s blog with both barrels. Thank you for sharing your story, Michelle. I think the Holy/Christian Narc (male or female) is one of the most difficult to deal with. Hiding behind religion is a perfect cover for them! I wish you all the very best that life has to offer, Michelle.

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