Mother Knows Best





“I love you.”

“I have heard this is a good one for getting a reaction from you because this is what you always want to hear.”


“You won’t ever amount to anything.”

“Not while I am interfering in every facet of your life, controlling you and making your childhood and your adult life one long battle.”


I just thought I would call you and see how you are.”

“You do not give me enough fuel. You are an ungrateful son/daughter and I regret the day I gave birth to you.”


“It is my birthday next week and I just wondered if you had anything planned.”

“I expect something lavish and spectacular so I can be centre stage. If you haven’t planned such an event you are cruel and uncaring, just as I always thought.”


“I am proud of you.”

“For once you have done something I approve of and now I can take all the credit for it.”



“You were quite a challenge when you were younger.”

“I thought you might resist my cold-hearted manipulation of you, but I broke you in the end.”


“I suppose you have heard the sad news about your Uncle Paul dying?”

“A death! A funeral! Such a wonderful stage for me to dominate and all those relatives to suck fuel from.”


“I am trying to help you,you know?”

“I am trying to control you, stop resisting me.”


I have done so much for you. All I want is some thanks.”

“I think I have done so much for you. I need some fuel.”


“It was a joke. You take yourself so seriously.”

“It was not a joke. Damn you for seeing through it. I need to back track quickly so I am not accountable.”


“You were an accident.”

“Go on cry and make me feel powerful.”


“Your father and I have discussed this as we think…”

“I have decided….”


“Your father agrees with me so there is no point running to him.”

“Your father knows better than to contradict me.”


“I had such high hopes for you.”

“You aren’t doing what I want.”


“That never happened.”

“It did but you are not allowed to hold that against me.”


“We never thought you would leave home.”

“You were not meant to move out of my control.”


“We hardly ever see you these days.”

“You should be providing me with fuel more often.”


“You weren’t like this when you were little.”

“You were so much easier to control back then.”


“I don’t love you.”

“I don’t love you. I never have.”

6 thoughts on “Mother Knows Best

  1. Jasmine says:

    I’m not certain if my mother is full blown, or just tendencies. My son has a patrinarc though. I can’t but wonder.. how much will this have affected him? Can I hope for the best? What (if anything) can I do for him now that’s he’s grown?
    Such a terrible thing for a child. Nothing upsets me more than harm done to my children. 😡

  2. I used to hear 12 out of these 19 growing up. But some of these things were never said to me by the parental units that I constantly lived with, fortunately. The rest were bad enough that I thought it sucked to be parents, and I really didn’t want to be one, because I never wanted to have to say this shite to anyone!

    It didn’t occur to me til some years later that none of it was required and it really was sh*tty parenting.

    It could have been worse if my N sperm donor had stuck around. I would have been very tempted to be as he was. I hated feeling powerless.

  3. Carol M says:

    Ah, matrinarcs, you are a timeless classic, just like Chanel.

  4. ImmortalOutlaw Goddess says:

    I’ve got entangled with your kind once again . But I did feel something was wrong but obviously ignored it .further he was very much talking down on himself (or could ‘ve been mirroring me I’m not quite sure) and that he learned if he manipulates he get people do what he wants like the “system” “ customers” , he had a big fantasy world and “promotions “ . But when he spoke about his Mother was very frightening like he did hate her with a passion . But kept going back to her he said and that this with me something was perfect for him gave him rest (all about him lol) . He dis-ingaged with me very quickly . I’m not quite sure what type narc he is (victim) for sure

  5. Pam says:

    Wait, H.G., when did you meet my mother? This is so spot-on it’s scary. And I am finally understanding why it is I was so drawn to my (thankfully discarded) narc, and why I still feel such a pull towards him.
    Thank you for this, and for all of your writings.

  6. Mara says:

    It must be positively awful to grow up with a narcissistic parent. It can sure mess up one’s sense of trust in others and one’s notion of what love is supposed to look like. Just terrible.

    I’m not sure if I had a parent who was a narcissist although they both had their issues.

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