A Letter to the Narcissist – No. 60

provider letter
Dear Narcissist,
How is life? Well let me guess since you’re so predictable.Since we’ve been broken up over a year ago, you’ve managed to ignite four new relationships and triangulate one of your concubines against me.  You told her that I was still in love with you when the fact of the matter is, I haven’t contacted you in over a year.
  I have contacted you recently to ask that you turn over my set of keys to my new Jeep. Remember during our relationship when I trusted you with an extra set of keys to my new Jeep and what did you do? You told everyone in your hometown that the Jeep was yours, you continued to pick up several whores in my Jeep and have unprotected sex with them in the back of the vehicle.  You picked up your ex-fiancé from the airport and told her the Jeep was yours just to impress her in hopes she would think your life has improved since she left you five years ago.
You used me, my finances, my vehicle and my reputation to make yourself look better. Aren’t your capable of establishing your own credibility without using others, you snake? Did it feel good when you decided to punch me and body slam me when I told you I was leaving you to date a new guy, after I caught you with your ex in MY vehicle? The nerve of you to put your hands on me after you were busted for cheating!
To add insult to injury, I helped stop your landlord from evicting you when you were inbetween jobs and couldn’t call anyone else.  I lent you thousands of dollars to support your chronic gambling addiction while you were entertaining your new whores.  I treated your elderly mother to several dinners, Broadway plays, shopping and spa treatments because you left her alone all day. I found out that she is a narcissist too and didn’t appreciate any of the nice gestures I did for her.  She even knew about your mistress and welcomed her into her home for dinner behind my back. Like mother, like son.  Your deceased father would have never tolerated such disgraceful behavior, but at least I know who taught you how to be a manipulative user, liar and con artist.. It was your Narcissistic mama.
I flew you to Europe with me and treated you to a 9 day vacation, yet you were cheating behind my back the whole time. I made sure you always had the nicest clothes and shoes, because you were in-between jobs, yet you were cheating the whole time.  I helped take care of your pit bull so your landlord could lay off of you and not evict you.  I scheduled your psychiatrist visits, but you refused to seek therapy to get yourself together.  I supported the idea of your opening your own business and even offered to give you the money to start it, yet you were cheating behind my back the whole time.  Nothing I ever did was good enough. You found a way to complain. The more I did for you, the more you found fault.  You are one miserable, ungrateful, sick, twisted, diabolical piece of trash. I realize now that you will NEVER find happiness with anyone you get into a relationship with because you are sadistic and you find joy in destruction.  May you forever burn in hell. Maybe you’ll be happier there.
You are a 43 year old man having unprotected oral and vaginal sex with numerous partners. Once I caught you cheating, I refused to take you back and for that, you went on a massive smear campaign because unlike all of your other exgirlfriends who tolerate and allow your cheating repeatedly, you hated the fact that I would NOT allow you back in after I caught you the first time. So I endured vicious lies and rumors that came out of your mouth. Little do people know that you are the abusive, manipulative, gambling and sex addicted, low life that put his hands on me.
But you know what the good part is? You don’t control me anymore.  My life has improve 1000% and you’re still scrambling to make ends meet. You’re still jumping from whore to whore.  You’re still driving the same raggedy car and you can no longer use my new shiny Jeep to capture new prey.  Your clothes are dingy and you’re still stuck blowing the little bit of cash you have left in the casino. You are nothing without me.  I made you more of a man then you have ever been in your entire life.  Now you’re scrambling and comparing all of my good deeds to every unmatchable errand that you’re putting your new concubines through.
I’m sorry you tell you, but you will NEVER find another woman on my level. Good luck with that.  Goodbye Narcissist.  You lose in the end.  God will bless me and all the other empaths because we survived and we know God’s love.  You will never be blessed because you work against God and you destroy His children. What an ugly life you live.  You must really hate to look at yourself in the mirror knowing you will never be worth anything and you won’t get on your knees and repent to God for all of the chaos and destruction you have caused so many people.
I feel sorry for you Narc.  My anger is now pity.  You gotta die like this. Karma at its finest.
Good riddance.

12 thoughts on “A Letter to the Narcissist – No. 60

  1. Mara says:

    I suspect that no one here is suggesting that she does not have a right to be angry. As I mentioned in my first comment, she most certainly does.

    No one here is questioning that, as far as I can tell.

    The point here is that there comes a time when we need to decide what is more important: being angry (and therefore continuing to have the narcissist in our heads) or moving forward and being happy.

    I’ve been angry, hurt, and upset over the narcissistic entanglement I experienced for more than I care to admit and I get that being angry is necessary as part of processing our emotions. But as Meredith Miller has pointed out, there’s a difference between processing emotions and indulging or dwelling in the suffering/anger about how terribly the narcissist treated us.

    There comes a point where we need to decide whether we want to be stuck in a wallowing hole or move forward.

    My view is that as long as we are angry or have any kind of strong reaction towards the narcissist, he has power over us and he is winning, even if we haven’t communicated with him in a long time.

    That’s why for the sake of the writer of this letter, I suggest to her: yes, be angry, but also be mindful that anger is only one step in the process of recovery and that ultimately you want to work on moving forward in the process in order to be happy – – because you deserve to be happy.

  2. Fed Up says:

    She has every right to be angry because that cheating loser was taking advantage of her kindness and her wallet. And that’s what these narcissists do they use abuse and then discard us like yesterdays trash. And if you confront them they will lie and twist your words and then blame you…you are the bad person who is making them hate themselves by confronting them with their disgusting behavior.. You are now the abuser who throws women in their face by confronting them with their cheating and won’t let them drain more money from you, how much more of your abuse can the narcissist take..These narcissists know exactly what they are doing…

    1. K says:

      I agree. She has every right to be angry and feel hate. She was an excellent empath and was treated badly for her kindness. She is blameless and didn’t deserve any of it and I hope she finds true love.

  3. Noname says:

    When you were duped by a high functioning charlatan, you can say “Why, he/she was soooo skilled! Of course I was duped! Who wouldn’t?”. You can have some comfort at least, knowing you didn’t have any chance to avoid the fraud.

    But when you were duped by a low functioning charlatan, you can say nothing comfortable to yourself. And then the torturing shame comes. You start to blame and humiliate that charlatan to increase your self-esteem and self-worth. The anger and hate appear and then you stop to see the REAL problem.

    The real problem is your own SUCCEPTIBILITY and READINESS for dupery. It doesn’t matter who was a charlatan (intelligent and skillful master or
    Gypsy woman who doesn’t know an alphabet). The end result would be identical, because the charlatans use THE SAME methods of dupery.

    Your succeptibility, readiness and, sometimes, even your own willingness (!) is a key point for the fraud scheme.

    Dear Provider, you have all rights to be angry with him. You have all rights to “invent” any explanations, that permit you feel better and “on top”. But remember, that thinking about HIM, you don’t think about YOURSELF. In that case, YOU commit a fraud against YOURSELF.

    Think about not WHAT was happened, but WHY. Heal yourself, deacrease your own succeptibility for fraud and everything will be alright. I wish you good luck and thank you for your interesting letter!

  4. narc affair says:

    Hi provider…first off you are a very generous person! Im sorry you were so grossly taken advantage of. The fact he was cheating shouldve been the end to the relationship and cashflow but like many empaths who yearn for that certain something we endure the unimaginable in hopes to get it. You deserved so much more and can definitely get it bc you have a giving kind heart and a forgiving one at that. Its disgusting how low he stooped and used your money and things to portray something he will never be which is a man with dignity and integrity. Such a man would never take your money that way a huge red flag and one to avoid in the future. You deserve what money can never buy and thats genuine love and respect ❤

  5. Claudia says:

    There is still a lot of anger.

  6. Somewhere over the rainbow says:

    “May you forever burn in hell. Maybe you’ll be happier there.

    I feel sorry for you Narc. My anger is now pity. You gotta die like this. Karma at its finest.”
    This is HATE, not pity nor karma. I only called ex (narc) snake when he hoovered me third time in 3 months and after that I questioned myself why killing my neurons for him (you know a high stress level is an important cause to that).

    “You’re still jumping from whore to whore.”
    I said myself that time ago (about narc) and then I thought maybe his ex was telling the same about me. It is not other women’s fault, only his for triangulating and/or cheating. Plus, if you take “whore” meaning in religion, that translates into having any intimate relationships outside marriage (even with the man you’re going to marry), so…Marrying virgin and not being allowed a divorce made women perfect victims to narc men/abusers (there are countries where women get sulfuric acid on their faces for refusing a man/husband). We are lucky…I was called a whore by narc mother in law for being with his son before marriage, while she and narc sister in law were saints, just happened to have the same sins as I, you understand what I’m meaning. We shouldn’t have double standards in judging others and ourselves (that makes us empaths, among other things).

    “You will NEVER find another woman on my level.”
    You shouldn’t rise yourself by lowering other women you don’t even know.
    Let it go and live your life as beautifully as you can. You know your worth as a woman, you have absolutely nothing to prove to him or to others.

  7. Blank says:

    “God will bless me and all the other empaths”

    I could swear, reading your story, that God wasn’t blessing you at all. To me it sounded like he was giving you a major punishment. What awful thing did you do to deserve this?

  8. K says:

    Dear Provider
    Your letter contains so many aspects of the narcissistic dynamic.

    His multiple relationships and his proclivity for picking up whores and engaging in unprotected sex (lack of accountability) makes him a textbook case of the somatic cadre.

    He told everybody the jeep was his because in his mind it was. He owned you and all your assets owing to his massive sense of superiority and entitlement. Your assets are residual benefits which, like character traits, enhanced his false construct so he can attract more fuel sources and he is incapable of establishing his own credibility, that is why he chose you to do it for him. He really was nothing without you.

    He was entitled to cheat while using his jeep (it really is yours) and when you confronted him about it, you criticized him (igniting his fury) and he reacted by punching and body slamming you, punishing you for your insolence (control and fuel).

    The physical violence, in-between-jobs, irresponsibility with money and pit bull are indicative of a ULN (school).

    Broadway plays, shopping, spa treatments, trip to Europe, jeep, clothes, shoes and money were all residual benefits and his matrinarc got to enjoy some benefits, as well. Your narcissist chose wisely.

    You are absolutely right he will never find happiness with anyone because all he wants is fuel, character traits and residual benefits. He is not wired for happiness.

    I am happy you got rid of him, you may want to forget about the extra set of keys; the contact may be too risky. And I agree; he may never find an empath as good as you were. He blew it.

    Thank you for sharing your experience.

  9. Mara says:

    “I’m sorry you tell you, but you will NEVER find another woman on my level. Good luck with that.”

    And what the heck does that mean anyway? She’s saying she’s better than other victims because she happens to be wealthy?

    If so, perhaps she ought to work on not being so materialistic in that she ought not judge other people on the basis of how much money they have to begin with.

    In any case, indulging in these comparisons “You will never find another victim like me. I’m the best victim” etc is not exactly healthy…..

  10. leslie says:

    This a great letter but it’s also great supply for any narcissist. This letter would feed my narcissist for at least a week. He would eat it up and dance around with joy if I said this to him.

  11. Mara says:

    “My anger is now pity.”

    Erm… Doesn’t look like it. She’s still positively furious as far as I can tell.

    Although she of course has every right to be angry, as someone who has also experienced intense anger and hurt as a result of dealing with a narcissist, for her own sake and mental health, my hope for this victim is that she lets go of the anger and truly becomes a survivor.

    To my mind, being angry at a narcissist for the narcissistic abuse that resulted from an entanglement with him or her is like being angry at fire for burning as a result of having gotten close to it. There’ s not much point to being angry at fire for burning, is there? It’s better to learn to identify fire and stay away from it.

    I’ve come to this conclusion after a long time of being angry, and for me, truly moving forward is not allowing the narcissist to poison me that way and instead creating for myself a life full of appreciation, gratitude, and joy. That’s truly making clear that the narcissist did not win.

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