Holy Narcissist


The holy narcissist is one of the especially effective members of the narcissistic brethren. The attraction of religion but moreover being a member of the clergy carries with it considerable advantages for those of our kind who manage to install themselves within organised religion.

The holy narcissist is nigh on impeachable. What better authority can there be for always being right, always having the high ground and always being revered than as an instrument of God? The holy narcissist has the supreme power in his corner and a book full of phrases and sentences that he can turn to in support of his wisdom. He is here to do good work and by virtue of his position he is assumed to be truthful, kind, compassionate and empathic. The holy narcissist has one of the most effective facades one might hope to see amongst our kind. His is not a façade which has to be worked at through the careful application of community works, diligent industry at work and all round good guy in the neighbourhood. No, the holy narcissist has centuries of instilled goodness to drape around him in an impenetrable cloak of goodness. He has saints and apostles marching behind him, archangels hovering above him, charitable works to point to, the salvation of the sick, the poor and the needy, all woven into this vast façade.

Once he joins the clergy he can avail himself of this façade in an instant. There is no steady and incremental accumulation of the veneer of respectability like the rest of our kind but instead it is akin to placing a cloak around himself and immediately he has a façade and not just a façade, but perhaps the ultimate façade on which to rely.

He is the embodiment of goodness, God’s word flows through him and as such he can act with unquestionable authority. He has zealots ready to support him and to shout down the heretics. Even though organised religion may not wield the power that it once did, one would be foolish to underestimate its effect still. Even those who do not believe and readily bait and insult those who do, are likely to think twice before attacking a man of the cloth. They wear God’s armour and the indoctrination of people, even those who have rejected the notion of such a being, means they would hesitate before launching some kind of attack against a member of the clergy. I have seen it happen. Those who are vociferous in all other aspects still show a deference to that dog collar.

A position in religion appeals greatly to our kind. You are blessed with an instant authority. You have scriptures, texts and readings which are used as a form of law to castigate mortal man and thus allow the holy narcissist to maintain superiority. There are grand and ornate ceremonies which the holy narcissist is the centre of. He dresses differently from the simplicity of the Catholic black which distinguished from others in the community to the papal splendour of the man (almost) at the top. Decadence, shiny and glittering decadence abounds and he even is able to stand at preach at his fellow man and woman. How does he do so? From the elevated position of the pulpit. Proof, if proof were needed that he is greater than those around him and finds himself part way between heaven and earth.

Where confession plays a part he is able to absorb the sins of his worshippers. The narcissist always needs to know and of course knowledge is power. Being privy to the foibles, sins and vulnerabilities of someone on the other side of that screen (who is of course readily known) vests considerable power in the holy narcissist. He is able to scold and upbraid and is thanked for doing so. He doles out devaluation on a daily basis and is met with the grateful thanks of those who seek absolution.

Should you offend him you are not just discarded but you are banished, made a pariah and few can smear you so darkly as one who apparently operates from the side of light. Step out of line with the holy narcissist and see how quickly the community is mobilised against you. You are snubbed at church (if you dare to appear) and this tarring and feathering leaks out into the community as a whole as the holy narcissist does not just have a coterie but he has a congregation. He does not just have Lieutenants, he has vergers and sextons, he has bishops and archbishops who will close ranks and turn their backs on those who speak ill of one of their own.

Try to speak out and expose the holy narcissist and he will describe you as ‘troubled’ and that he will pray for you, further advancing how filled with goodness he is and there must be something seriously wrong and deviant with you if you are resorting to making accusations against  man of the cloth.

The holy narcissist has a position of considerable privilege. An ancient and powerful institution which resolutely supports him, the commanding word of God to dispense, the impressive façade and always the capacity to exploit a person’s fear of their own mortality. As it has been stated before, there were no atheists in the trenches. When the chips are down you either call out to God or your mother, usually both. When you know that despite all appearances, a person still has that need to call on a higher power when they are in fear, this places you in a powerful position.

This position comes with many benefits but the most attractive of all is the congregation. A loyal, devout conclave of fuel. Those who attend services, hold coffee mornings, raise collections, operate soup kitchens and so forth are the foot soldiers of empathy. They are inherently good people who care, who are honest and decent and they wish to exhibit their goodness through good acts and deeds. How they respond and light up when the holy narcissist moves amongst them thanking them for their endeavours. Their faces turn to the holy narcissist, rapt with delight, fuel gushing for them as the holy narcissist sweeps through his worshippers, drinking deep of their admiration, their love and their compassion. It is these people who are doing the dirty work, standing in the cold shaking a collecting tin, feeding down and outs in the less desirable areas of the city and walking mile upon mile to gather donations for the charity shop or food parcels. The holy narcissist will tap into this collective goodness and bolt it on to his façade. He will front the mission’s work, the output as he receives the earnest thanks of the disadvantaged and yet more fuel.

This congregation will round on transgressors, they will offer up delicious fuel as a host of secondary sources which has the holy narcissist positively drenched in the positive fuel. With firebrand enthusiasm, the holy preacher will set his sights on those who apparently do evil and will contentedly draw their ire and the associated negative fuel. He is unswayed. The Big Man has his back and with that it is ever onwards Christian soldiers. No matter what form this religion might take, there will always be holy narcissists in their numbers. There is so much that appeals and accords with the narcissist that organised religion will always attract our kind. The ready availability of unquestionable moral authority which is plated and welded to the narcissistic mind set of superiority, omnipotence and grandiosity makes for a heady concoction indeed. Many struggle to escape the clutches of a holy narcissist and if they do not comply, they are hammered into submission by one of the master strokes of organised religion, the concept of guilt.

Empathic individuals are burdened by guilt and with a book full of quotations that support this construct, the holy narcissist has a field day as he exploits this inherent trait of those who he deals with. You must never question him but you must question yourself because you are prone to sin, you are weighed down by guilt and therefore it is always your fault. It is manna from heaven for the narcissist. Everything about organised religion either elevates him or provides him with a set of tools and methods for keeping his congregation and worshippers submissive, appreciative and loyal. He is able to call on near total dedication and loyalty and if the occasional member strays out of line he has the means and the clerical muscle to either bring them back under his control or banish them into the wilderness. Exerting such control and being able to reap the fuel rewards demonstrates how supine his congregation becomes when it is in the hands of the holy narcissist.

No wonder it is referred to as his flock.

31 thoughts on “Holy Narcissist

  1. Sedthat says:

    Ha. “…pray to God and your mother.” Quite a fail when they are one and the same – eh? Her word was god, entitled to make judgments and sentence punishments or intermittent walks with the devil to allow toying sickness against me and entire congregations that plead with me to “listen to God and your Mother”. Almost the death of me several times, while in the mean time, gaslit confusion prevailed … I believed I was demonic, no matter what I did, I’d see hell according to her but if I behaved maybe mercy would ha ha allow my after-life just inside the pearly gates. She started me out early and the congregation was her witness. At two almost three, during an evening service, at the onset of pastors sermon I terribly misbehaved, she took me outside and “punished” me. What was hidden from them was her handing me her purse when the congregation stood up to sing hymn. Inside her purse was only prescription diet pills – colorful little things. I ate some before the taste made me spit and push out of my mouth, dribbling from chin to the wide collar of my new dress staining it. When the hymn was over, she saw this and asked had I gotten in her purse to which I said “yes”. Did I eat her pills and stain the brand new dress, “yes”. “No you didn’t you spit them out.” She squoze my leg said to stop lying. No ER visit to pump my stomach. She even had reasons for her and dad to stay after service. My grandmother intervened and took me home to keep me out of her way, not yet aware of what was behind my inability to sit and be quiet. Her and grandfather figured things out. I didn’t die but the deal was kept secret and the congregation and pastor were caused to validate mom’s complaints about my behaviors. Her schemes lol were legion. That she is god, ALWAYS served her purpose.

  2. Disillousion says:

    Oh dear, today I realized that one of the persons I admire the most may be a narcissist. A holy narc, a BIG angel with dirty face.

  3. ava101 says:

    I just read this about the spiritual principle of “Dharma” (known in Buddhism, Hinduism, and other religions):

    “Worship, study, charity, austerity, truth, forgiveness, compassion and freedom from greed, this is the eightfold path to Dharma.

    The first four can also be performed by a hypocrite, but the last four can only exist in a great soul.”

    [“Dharma, is a multifaceted and all-inclusive term with many meanings which includes Divine Law, Law of Being, Way of Righteousness, Religion, Ethics, Duty, Responsibility, Virtue, Justice, Goodness and Truth.”]

  4. RJ says:

    Coming from a small town where probably 90 percent of the population is catholic you see the differences in religions. Priests are held in high regard, almost treated like God. Its common knowledge that priests have been accused and somewhat charged with child abuse (mostly young boys). Confession is a platform for getting the upper hand on people and insane. Just imagine what these priest hear sometimes at these confessions. Seeing what some people do or have done in small towns out of church seven days of the week then releasing it to a man in a box one day in order to be guilt free is Just Asking for Trouble. Some are homosexual, pervs, pedophiles, alcoholics or whatever and try to pray the urges away. With that kind of authority and trust of people, just imagine the manipulations. They are only really humans. Add narcissism to that spectrum!

    1. Narc Angel says:


      Yes, I can imagine the robes turned into tents and wanking away that goes on on the other side of that confessional. Somethings getting purged alright but its not souls.

      1. Bubbles🍾 says:

        Dear Narc Angel,

        You are hysterically delicious 😂
        Luv it
        Cheers gorgeous 🍾

        1. Narc Angel says:


          Have been meaning to say that you have a great attitude and sense of humour-your new name is much better suited.


      2. Bubbles🍾 says:

        Awe… thank you Narc Angel, that is sooooo kind of you ☺️
        I luv your delightful wickedness .. makes me laugh 😂
        💜🥂here’s to hunny bun

  5. Patricia J says:

    My Ex Greater Narc pity played his father being a Deacon An dying when he was Ten.
    He lead me to believe he believed in God. I was Catholic. He would use his bible and God on me and others when it suited him. He started using the example of Adam and Eve. Stating all women are Evil. I was Eve. Later when his mask fell, he said he never believed in God, And he was evil and a liar and a sinner an would never change.
    I pointed out if he did not believe in God, then he could not use his Adam and story story.
    This is when I had A Super Nova attack.
    Now I am 8 months Narc Free.
    Thank You God!

    1. ava101 says:

      Yeah, my exnarc would pull off stuff along those lines, too, when it suited him. Oh, those fights …
      I still need to figure out, how to get to my matrinarc about this topic, though, she adapts as it suits her and conveniently forgets what she had preached before.

      1. DUTG says:

        Ava, I like that term ‘matrinarc’. Patrinarc, MoNARCh. Along your examples, ex husband switched political affiliations each time he switched wives.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          It is my term.

      2. ava101 says:

        *lol* HG …. yes, “matrinarc” is not my term.

        Haha, my narc even changed his religion. He was spiritual like me when we met, Christian when he wanted some fights or needed some proverbs to put me down, – and when he was with the next victim, he told me he was converting to Judaism.
        Fact is, he has no connection to a higher being whatsoever.

        My narc father grew up regular Protestant, but changed to Baptist to become a pastor (like, in one go). I never witnessed him acting according to or speaking of Christian faith. Only when my mother narc made him to read to us at Christmas.

  6. DUTG says:

    This constitutes the highest level of ‘abuse of power’ in my opinion. HG please keep the specific profession posts coming. I’d like to see ones on narcs in the military, in academia, and in the medical field. I find people often readily attribute certain noble characteristics to those who achieve great status in these noble and selfless professions.

    1. NarcAngel says:


      I love DUTGs suggestion of a series or articles on narcs in specific professions. It would allow people to see the pros and cons and also to identify many in their lives where they might not have otherwise.

    2. ava101 says:

      I am very interested in articles on narcs and hierarchical structures & authority. Such as, having to report so someone, how they would act and scheme in a hierachical structure, if there would be any real acceptance of positions, of an alpha dog … how they would act when two narcs on the same level meet, or two narcs where one is in a superior position professionally speaking.

      Yes, I do think, too, that hardly any other organisation provides that much opportunity to act under false pretence and without accountability as the *** church. Others at least have strict rules and guidelines and obligatory record keeping.

  7. Kate says:

    HG, I was wondering if you believe in a God? Heaven? Hell? Ghosts? Demonic spirits? I would very much appreciate knowing your thoughts. If this line of questioning is offensive to you, I am very sorry.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Not offensive. I do where it serves a purpose to do so.

    2. ava101 says:

      Haha, this is something I still have to figure out about the exnarc … he once tried to triangulate me with his ex-girlfriend, which never worked anyways, but one day he insisted that she had seen a ghost in her bedroom, and her daughter, too. That she was a medium, and had great skills in that area, etc.
      Which I don’t understand, as I don’t believe in ghosts and don’t think that she is a better person because of the supposed skill. Any thoughts on that, HG?

      1. HG Tudor says:

        Attempted triangulation which was ineffective.

  8. Somewhere over the rainbow says:

    HG, we have different views on God’s existence, but on this one…I must agree. Religion is full of narcissists exhibiting expensive cars, helicopters and shiny clothes (instead of simple ones), bought with money from poor and naive people. I’ve never understood why seeing them like God substitutes and not His humble servants.

    About a missionary, I was almost emotionally abused by him, trying to convince me to change my religion. I only asked him: if I believe in God, what sense does it make changing it? I had to leave as he was selling me a “God package” offer. My stomach turned upside down. I don’t believe in “the only religion God accepts”. I’m more spiritual than religious…

    1. Twilight says:

      Somewhere over the rainbow

      Joel Olsteen comes to mind…..

      1. Somewhere over the rainbow says:


        I had to google his name as in my country we have other religious VIPs, but he really looks like a man not letting any remorse bringing him down, unlike us…”mortals”…

        They are all around the world and they achieved separating young people (not naive, well informed ones) from religion and some of them even from God …they aren’t God servants, not at all…I imagine those living a hundred years ago in the mountains, praying all day long with minimum food and clothes, sleeping on stone or wood (in happier circumstances).

        Ok, now are modern days, but staying humble when one “works” in God’s name in never “out of fashion”…imo.

        1. Twilight says:

          Somewhere over the rainbow

          That gave me a laugh. No he isn’t. He is “religious” and follows a man made religion and not spirituality. His “god” is very clear to me.

          Many listen to hear, few listen to understand. We must all follow the path we choose, only then will we understand.

          Emotional thinking is the biggest con artist on both sides. Just theirs looks very different from ours.

      2. Somewhere over the rainbow says:


        Wise words yours…

  9. PureSoul says:

    And many of them have many secret lovers as well.

    It is a known fact that in Italy many Priests had “bastard children”

    Everyone knew about it, but they all stayed silent, after all, thier Holy Narcissist Priest was a
    “man with holy needs” .. he was entitle, as he was their Holy Protector, and whoa unto anyone who would speak ill of him.

    I have met a few myself.
    In those cases i immediately felt that something was not right with that kind holieness, and stayed away.

    Now i know what it was : Holy Narcissism

    thank you HG

    1. Empress1 says:

      Years ago the Popes were allowed to have children– and yes it was common knowledge……..

  10. Bubbles🍾 says:

    Dear Mr Tudor,

    My friend thought he was “God”

    Then he became “Godzilla”

    Really great eye opening article, so true!

  11. PureSoul says:

    Wow !

    I met him on the street when i was an active street- evangelizer ..
    i gave him a leaflet… he then told me that he was going to become a Priest.

    I wish he had …

  12. Kate says:

    I am a Catholic because I was raised that way and continue to believe in the basics of Christianity, but I do not like organized religion. Twenty-five years ago, I went to confession (face-to-face). The priest and I didn’t know each other. He told me that I wasn’t ready to be absolved and needed to come back! I stood up and told him loudly that he didn’t know that because he was not God and just a man, turned and left while everyone stared. I couldn’t have cared less about any of them or their opinions of me.

  13. Jasmine says:

    Mommy dearest is a holy narcissist. She wielded the guilt trip like a pro. It was a good match for her. I couldn’t stomach going to the service.

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