The Narcissist’s Social Media Laws – No. 20

soc med 20

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18 thoughts on “The Narcissist’s Social Media Laws – No. 20”

  1. Dearest K,
    Thank you whole heartedly for your very intelligent and learned explanation… that was awesome … you are so very switched on lovely K and articulate beautifully, you should be Mr Tudors right hander …Haha
    Yes .. that’s the weasel alright … nasty little critter … haha
    And yes … mid ranger … I’m leaning more to cerebral. He would also say “I never said that”, “you misundertood what I said” “I don’t want to talk about it” “I need to regroup” …. Mr Wah Wah Wah!!! He always followed with the silent treatment … always ! I would sometimes say … “this conversation is finished when I say so and I’m not done yet” .😂😂😂😂 I always had to have the final say …. I would then let rip and he wouldn’t respond and I wouldn’t hear from him ….
    such a juvenile
    He’s not in our life anymore nor anyone associated with him …. he has another victim he’s been creating havoc with ..
    Happily, not my problem!!
    Thanks gorgeous for your valuable insight, very much appreciated
    Luv Bubbles xx
    💜

    1. Dearest Bubbles
      Thank you for your kind words! I am learning as I go and it really helps when I see the dynamic play out in comments like yours.

      When Mr Wah Wah Wah, a.k.a. The Weasel pulled his Contrariwise BS your challenge may have been perceived as a criticism so he withdrew into a sulk (silent treatment). Typical passive aggressive mid-range behaviour. Ha ha ha…you are feisty! That is a good quality to have.

      Good riddance to him and thank you for the on-line field work. I feel bad for his new source, too!

      Luv XOXO
      K

      1. Dearest K,
        The reason I became “feisty” (he probably liked it in his weird narc way) was because he just tried my patience a lot, (deliberate narc ta tic to push my buttons, no doubt) although not in the beginning …. he was like a little jumping puppy and followed me everywhere (I’d throw a stick and he’d fetch … haha) and very chatty by text …. showed off how intelligent he was and used lots of big words and made up poems (ex muso) and writing was his forte. After awhile he changed the tone of texting and it became short sharp n shiny … answering only with
        “yes”
        “No”
        “Ok”
        “Annnnnd”
        “That’s niiiiiiiice”
        “soooooooo”
        “I don’t remember”
        “Fine”
        “Whatever”
        “Did not” … with no explanations behind them. Mr Tudor answers in the same manner sometimes, reminds me of the weasel. He never asked how I was! The conversation was always straight into him.
        We’d end up fighting, he’d go off and have a tanty and then it would start all over again. I ended up dreading to hear from him. Then when I saw him “in person” he was totally nice. This very slowly degenerated over a long four year period …. four years I’ll never get back …. totally wasted
        Ps .. I know exactly what he’d be doing to his new victim (she’s in the care industry) and I feel for her … they’ve already had a massive bust up and back on again, goodness knows how many times …time will tell… the mask falls off eventually 🎭..looks like it’s slipped .. haha
        Hope that was helpful sweet K
        Luv Bubbles xx

  2. Narc Affair,
    Our conversations usually become sexual but never at a 0 to 60 like that. It will usually be “I love you”, “I miss you”, “if I was there right now what would you do to me”…. etc. stuff like that. This was far from the usual gradual. It was extreme compared to the usual texting habits.

    He did not cover it up. I didn’t question it. I just commented “ummm wow that escalated quickly” and then he spinned it around by saying “well I just want you so bad….” and then it became him telling me what he wanted to do with me….etc. So while he did not cover up the weird out of nowhere sexual behavior he did say that “the sleep tonic was coursing through his veins and he needed to go to bed” (he often tells me that he has to medicate himself to fall asleep).

    I did not feel devalued but it definitely made me overthink the situation.

  3. Dear Mr Tudor,
    I received a lot of these …… I asked him…. “are you talking to someone else…. cos this doesn’t make sense”?
    Arhhhh …. “no”
    “Yes … you are”
    Silent treatmeant …. then change of conversation
    I knew!
    Just admit it, for goodness sake!

    You are on soooooo correct Mr Tudor
    Red flag ….. because it happened frequently
    Thank you

    1. Thank you, Bubbles!
      Excellent example of one of the 5 Conversational Derailments:

      5. Silent Treatment

      P.S.
      There’s no way in Hell will he admit it!!!

      1. Dear K,
        Thank you lovely one ( you prompted me to listen to that video)
        The other comment he made whilst texting was “end of discussion” especially when I backed him into a corner, which was frequently.
        I would then sign off immediately without debate or arguing with a “goodbye then” …. haha
        Then he’d contact me after a few days of sulking like nothing had happened and no accountability whatsoever. The master of silent treatments…. so childish, draining and exhausting, I was glad for the breathing space.
        Do men ever admit to anything? 🤥😂
        Luv Bubbles xx

      2. Dear Bubbles
        When you backed him into a corner (challenged him) he deployed the second line of the Narcs Twin Line’s of Defence (Distract and Deflect) by taking control of the conversation (interruption).

        His text: “end of discussion” is akin to “I have to stop you there.”

        He was trying to maintain control and assert superiority BUT you headed him off at the pass by signing off! Ha ha ha…then he uses an ST before deploying a benign hoover to suck you back into his false reality.

        He, then, compartmentalizes the entire incident as if it never happened
        (I am fairly certain this is gas lighting) and If it never happened, he isn’t accountable in his world. Narcs never admit to anything, ever, unless it can be used for further manipulation.

        P.S.
        Next time, don’t write goodbye, just sign off. To hell with him!
        Is this the Weasel? And if so, is he the mid-range?

        Lots of Luv
        XOXO
        K

  4. Or im waiting 2-3 min for you to reply in our conversation. Its pretty obvious when the person your texting is preoccupied texting someone else.

    1. Haha yes. This is how I could easily know if I was on or off the shelf. On the shelf…”active” but took minutes to reply…even when sexting arrrrgg so infuriating. Off the shelf….no issues.
      Still amazes me seeing the posts here amongst us. They really all do follow the same script.

  5. Holy shit balls this was how the texting went the other night. It was so odd. One moment he was talking about his upcoming show (a cast member dropped out and they had to hire someone else, and although challenges were faced the new cast member it was ultimately working out well). So the conversation going back and forth was about the show and that issue. I made a comment of “I’m glad that the new cast member is working out well…”
    His response was “Please tell me you’ll suck my….”
    Ummmmm how the hell did we segue into that?

    He didn’t even say “sorry wrong text either”. He just turned the conversation sexual. He usually does turn it sexual but this time it was out of nowhere!!!!

    Makes sense after seeing this meme!!! 🙄🤦🏻‍♀️

    1. Dear Fuel on the Shelf,

      Please write the “new book” you talked about in your letter, he’s clearly not worthy of your time, attention and especially…feelings.
      You must understand that one day (when your rational thinking will have power again) you’ll be sorry for not learning the lesson sooner. I understand that giving up means losing to your emotional thinking but deep down you must know the truth after reading Tudor’s writings.

      Don’t forget: after you implement NC, you’ll see there are other men on earth, some of them able to healthy attach to someone. Decide for yourself, don’t let him decide if, when or what he wants to talk about.

      Best wishes!

    2. Hi gabs….first off im sorry this happened i know how it must be upsetting but in a round about way its another validator about what his game is and what hes about…a player.
      Has he ever done that before when hes only been talking to you? I ask bc my narc will out of the blue drop a sext bomb on me or when were together become instantly sexual out of the blue. Its his way at times initiating as awkward as it is
      Or was this unlike him to spontaneously bring this up meaning hes texting someone else?
      The other thing to keep in mine is the fact it can be intentional to devalue/cause insecurity.
      How did react after he sent it? Did he try hard to cover it up? If it was him texting another hes sloopy and careless. It shows a lack of concern about you finding out. I know ive said it before but you deserve so much more!

  6. Hg – my ex disengaged from me in March and I have since blocked him on Facebook and not talked to him. Yesterday there were two Hoover triggers:
    1- One of my friends/coworkers who is a mutual friend of his posted and tagged a picture of me on facebook with her at work
    2- It was the one year anniversary of the first time he said I love you

    Which of those two triggers do you think was more likely to have caused the Hoover? Do I need to unfriend my friend/coworker?

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