We are adept at sniffing out our prey. We are able to identify those that will be of little use to us and ignoring them. We discern those who are obstructive and avoid them. We have an instinctive ability to target those who serve our purposes with the greatest effectiveness. Those who will provide us with copious amounts of fuel, those who will provide the traits that we need to steal for our own construct in order to draw others to us as to keep the creature at bay. Those who will give us the additional benefits which we regard as our entitlement, access to your resources for our sole use. The Lesser latches on to those who serve his kind once they come too close to him. Like a predator noticing the scent of a potential victim, he is alerted to your presence and makes his move, swift and immediate. A creature of instinct, he knows when there is a victim who will suit his purposes nearby and will go after that person. They may not be the best suited to his purposes but that does not matter, for now. He senses prey and will bring down this victim and attach himself to them, leeching the fuel from them until it is near empty and he will then discard and move to the next victim he has sniffed out and who is nearby. The Lesser will lurk in the most proven hunting grounds. He does not want to venture too far away. He does not want to expend too much energy stalking that prey and wearing it down. He looks for victims who are easily in reach, who he can bring down without much effort and then sink his fangs into with ease. It might be that a more suitable, a more fuelling victim, is a little distance away, but the Lesser goes for what is in front of him. He will not spend time seeking out a better victim but slays what is nearest and then moves on to the next nearest and so forth. Thus the Lesser hunts in an aggressive and volatile manner, he must seduce his victims quickly for fear of the beast within making itself known too soon and frightening his prey away. He has to camouflage his own creature and is not able to do it for too long. The Lesser will want low-hanging fruit. He is not interested in those that might pose a challenge and thus provide more rewarding fuel. He will take fuel from his primary source victims anyway he can. You may liken it to someone mine sweeping for drinks at a party. Rather than waiting to find the bottle of Grey Goose vodka hidden by the host at the back of a cupboard, the Lesser will drink the dregs of a can of beer, then swig what remains from the nearest bottle of wine and thus move from receptacle to receptacle, feasting and draining.

The Mid-Range is more discerning. He knows what he is attracted to and he will spend longer searching for it. He has reasonable intelligence, guile and ability and thus he will put this to use in order to find the more appropriate victim for him. He can pass over somebody who might be suitable but is not entirely satisfactory. Whereas the Lesser would have snatched hold of that victim, sniffing out that person’s reasonable suitability, a number of the traits he requires being met, but not all, the Mid-Range is content to stalk a little longer. The Mid-Range makes considerable use of watching from afar as he evaluates the applicability of his prospective prey. He observes, regards and reflects. He does not have the out and out confidence to go for the kill straight away like the Greater, nor is he pushed by the sense of urgency and hunger which afflicts the Lesser. He has some control and he will use this to ensure his appliances, especially those which become the primary source are the better ones. He of course is not of limitless energy and there comes a time when necessity becomes the driver for interaction and he must make his choice, but it is not without consideration and application to those traits, both generic to the empathic individual and specific to the type of victim which best accords with his own needs. The Mid-Range recognises that there is a type of person he is drawn to, although he does not know why this is. He is able to discern those traits and characteristics which serve him best and as a consequence it is those that he will apply some time to achieving. He recognises that certain traits in people afford him greater satisfaction and therefore he will look for those without knowing the true reason he does so. The Mid-Range will apply some methodology to the hunt for his prey but there is always the pressure of need which means that it may not be as ideal as he might like.

Continuing the mine sweeping analogy, the Mid-Range would not bother to sup the dregs from bottles and glasses at the part but spend time thinking about where the “good stuff” might be stashed. He will locate four cans of beer in the fridge. There might be greater rewards elsewhere but he is satisfied with this reasonable degree of quality that he has identified and does not want to risk letting his prize disappear as he gambles on trying to find something superior and failing.

The Greater revels in the hunt. The identification of the choicest victim is crucial to him. Yes, there may be times when necessity brings about the imposition of a less desirable (yet still functional) victim but when the conditions are apt (there is no fuel crisis and we are preparing for discard and are therefore in control of our environment) the Greater will spend time identifying those who exhibit many of the generic and specific traits that will serve him best. Indeed, the Greater will have several prospects in hand as he mines information about these prospects, assesses and evaluates it. Once satisfied that the signs and indications are good, he will make his move and engage to ascertain that his initial intelligence remains good. If it is (and it is usually is) he will then move in for the kill. Unlike the Lesser who will go for the jugular and bring his victim down swiftly and promptly, the Greater will utilise the intelligence that he has gathered in order to mesmerise, charm and hypnotise his victim. With dedicated application, the Greater will readily disarm his victim, disable any self-defence which may exist and have the victim exactly where he wants him or her. Like a viper, he will strike suddenly and with lightning speed he will be attached to the victim, fangs sunk deep and then the draining will begin as the fuel pumps from the unwitting victim to be sucked up by the Greater. The Greater knows what he wants and he will stalk different hunting grounds in order to achieve what he wants. He has the ability and the energy to sustain a longer hunt, or a shorter hunt where the victim may prove to be more challenging. Of course if a victim supplies the necessary traits and can be ensnared with ease, the Greater will also take this low-hanging fruit. He is no fool. However, he is undeterred by the higher-hanging fruit, that which is more succulent and nourishing in terms of fuel. He knows where to find the best victims, that is why he operates in several hunting grounds and he also is the most able of the three schools of narcissist to identify the traits in his victims. Whilst the Lesser sense by instinct, the Mid-Range knows what works for him but does not know why, the Greater knows precisely what it is what he wants. He also knows how these various traits manifest in his victims. He understands what to look for, what to see, what to listen out for and once he has seen the indicators he is able to satisfy himself that the appropriate traits exist within this target. He will then lock on and only in the most extreme of cases will he be prevented from conquering this target. The reward is too tantalising, his skill set too great and the lure of such a delicious victim proves too great for him to resist, challenging or not.

Once those fangs have sunk into the victim and the fuel is drawn, whether it is a Lesser, Mid-Range or Greater, we will remain until it comes time to identify the next prey.

18 thoughts on “Prey

  1. Lou says:

    Windstorm, thanks a lot for your reply. It does answer my question and it’s not TMI.
    Just like you, I also learned not to be who I really was. It is difficult to develop a sense of true self when any behavior or trait of yours may be used to criticize and devalue you. Even as I was put in the role of the golden child, I had to be strong and hide any vulnerability I could feel inside of me. That is what I see mostly in me at the moment.
    I am trying now to allow myself to feel vulnerable, to accept my vulnerability to myself and others without feeling ashamed of it. It is liberating.
    Thanks again.

  2. Lou says:

    For some reason I do not get the notify box when I am logged in WP account. I have to log out to get it.

  3. Lou says:

    Hi Windstorm! Would you mind explaining more about this mask/persona you developed for your real self? I am not sure I understand what you mean, and the subject is interesting.
    Do you mean that you have a mask “real me” that you now use instead of using all the other masks you learned to put on while growing up?

    1. windstorm says:

      Hard to explain coping strategies I used 40-50 years ago. I can try.

      I recognized that everyone put on “masks” and pretended to think, be things they were not. It was very obvious with my mother, but my father certainly did it too, just more smoothly. I remember being shut down fast when I wanted to know how that was different to lying. Lol!

      I tried this as a child, but was never any good at it. I have never had any real ability to pretend. I totally suck at pretending to be/think something false. I couldn’t act like I was the best at something or that I had done something when it wasn’t true. I just assumed I was defective.

      My father was a master manipulator and speech giver. He really understood mob psychology. He was big in his trade union and always involved in politics. I often was with him when he talked to other adults and could not help but notice what he might say to one person was totally different than what he said to another even though he was trying to convince them of the same thing.

      When I asked him why he did this, he told me he always talked/acted in the way that would best convince each person to think what he wanted them to. Since people had different needs and backgrounds, he had to use different strategies. He felt that his beliefs were best and that it was his duty to bring others to the “correct” way of thinking.

      I thought about this for a long time and finally decided that this was wrong. How could he know what was best for other people? Why did he have the right to manipulate others? I certainly didn’t want anyone manipulating me. I decided to only act like myself, no matter what anyone thought.

      It was a challenge though, because I had always been taught to pretend what ever was most advantageous. It took me several years to figure out just exactly what type of person I was inside, then figure out what that would look like to others, how that person would act, what they would do and not do. You know, like always being kind or listening when others want to talk.

      I would practice when I got away from home and see how other people reacted. I wasnt instantly successful. I’d get different reactions than I expected and have to tweak it. I didn’t really become confident until I got my first real job off the farm and was around other people on a daily basis. I realize that this sounds crazy, but remember I lived with people actively discouraging me from being who I thought I was and could not be my real self at home.

      Hope that answers your question. Probably TMI. 😄

  4. DoForLuv says:

    Wow . I was walking outside and this tall handsome man was looking at me so I smiled and when I did that his normal looking eyes change to HUGE pshycotic stare just scary omg .

    I will be for ever alone I guess ,

    HG is it normal to attract narcissist after narcissist I just don’t know what to do anymore .

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Yes, you always draw our kind to you, but you can defend yourself. I can show you how to do so very effectively, I recommend you consult with me.

      1. DoForLuv says:

        Got it . I will do.

    2. MB says:

      DoForLuv, I have found that there are those that mistake kindness for romantic interest. I smile, wave, make small talk with strangers all the time. I’m a small town girl. What do I know about riding in cabs? I can count on one hand the number of times I have and only once when I was alone where I made the mistake of talking to the driver all the way from my hotel to the airport. I was being friendly and asked him lots of questions. I was truly curious about what brought him here, etc etc. It was a 25 min ride. When we got to the airport, he got all creepy wanting my number and making me uncomfortable. I told him no thank you, scurried off, and then spent days worrying if there was some way he might find me. Yeah, it was THAT creepy! Next time, I’ll pay attention to my phone or look out the window and ignore the driver. Lesson learned!

      1. DoForLuv says:

        Yes yes ! I exactly know what you mean . I seem to make these “mistakes” as well . It just flows naturally . I’am happy to know you made it out save but still a very creepy experience and a good lesson learnend .

        1. MB says:

          Maybe his work visa expired and he’s back in Africa by now!

      2. windstorm says:

        I’ve had that happen to me a lot, too! It’s just what we are trained to do in the South, be friendly to strangers.
        Not in cabs, because like you, I’m almost never in one – been at least 35 years! Lol! But it happens very often when I attempt friendly conversion with strangers. That’s why I’ve trained myself to walk in public looking only at the floor and people’s feet. Channeling invisibility!

        1. MB says:

          I can’t do it WS. I have to interact, engage. It’s my nature to do so and plus people seem somewhat drawn to me. I’m the one they single out to ask for directions or guidance of some sort. I must have a neon sign on my forehead that says, “I will help you kindly.”

          1. windstorm says:

            We seem to have a lot in common! People are always coming up to me for directions and advice, too! Especially in stores! Women will come up in the grocery and ask me if Ive tried something and did I like it, how did I cook it, etc. Lol!

            Sounds like you’ve always been at ease around people, though. I never learned how to be at ease with people as a child. Growing up alone with narcs, all I learned how to do was put on masks like narcs do. Took me forever, but once I figured out just who I really was, I developed a “mask/persona” for my “real self” (who I feel i am inside) and use that. Who knows, maybe that’s what normal people learn to do automatically.

            It would be really hard on you in Japan! They’re sort of the opposite of our culture of being friendly with strangers. There it is considered rude to even make eye contact with people you don’t know. You never speak to strangers – not even children. That was so hard for me to adjust to! I just can’t see a child that reminds me of one of my grandchildren and not look them in the eye and smile! I want to complement their dresses or make silly faces at the babies. 😄

          2. MB says:

            Same Windstorm! People are likely to over share with me, but I don’t mind. I love human interaction, most of the time. My favorite is relocation stories. If I find out somebody moved from somewhere else. I always want to know how it came to be. For some reason it’s so interesting and they mostly seem to enjoy sharing.

            Sometimes I’m zapped of energy though and keep to myself. Recharging my batteries I suppose.

            I haven’t travelled much but would very much like to. If I did something I wasn’t supposed to by mistake, I would be mortified! I would feel so embarrassed and ashamed. Note to self: don’t look at the Japanese!

          3. MB says:

            WS, I meant to include that I was not raised by narcissists. I’ve always enjoyed making people laugh even when I was a little girl. Similar to the narcissist, I look for validation outside of myself. I’m nowhere near co-d in that regard, but what other people think of me is at an unhealthy level in my life.

            I’m not sure what happened in our upbringing. I have 3 sisters, all married narcissists. One is still married to her first. One is still married to her second. One divorced hers and married a normal. I am married to a normal for 27 years. I got lucky it was him and not a narc that crossed my path that day! No doubt I would’ve fallen prey as well. The only thing I can attribute it to is that we didn’t get much attention from our parents so as soon as somebody came along and gave it, we held on for dear life!

            There were 4 girls in 5 years (I was the second) similar to your daughter’s situation. I thought about that when you said she’s having her 6th. My mother was only 22 by the time the 4th was born. When life is about survival and feeding mouths, there’s not a lot left over for bonding, love, and warm fuzzies. I mostly just felt like a burden, not a person. A child should not feel ashamed for needing to eat or have clothes and shoes.

          4. windstorm says:

            Sounds probable about the not getting enough attention and love at home. So far that is definitely not happening in Kansas at my daughter’s house, but I think it did with my exhusband’s family. His mother had 4 by 23. She had a drunk narc husband and a very rough life at that time, working a night shift with no time for the kids.

          5. MB says:

            WS, I think there is certainly a difference when children are truly wanted. The love multiplies in the family with each new member rather than divides. Congratulations on the addition!

          6. windstorm says:

            Thanks! You’re right. It makes all the difference in the world if children were really wanted.

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