No Contact No Nos

NO CONTACT NO NOs

No Contact is THE key to beating the narcissist.

Most people get it wrong. There are two reasons for this.

1. Not understanding the requirements of a Total No Contact Regime , and

2. The misleading effect of Emotional Thinking.

As part of the first element, the establishment and maintenance of a Total No Contact Regime means not only knowing what you MUST do for your Total No Contact Regime, but also what you MUST NOT do.

No Contact No Nos provides comprehensive information about the fundamental errors and primary risks which exist to your Total No Contact Regime so that you know what they are, how they threaten your regime and what you can do to make sure your Total No Contact Regime is properly implemented and also securely maintained.

This extremely useful and eye-opening guide tackles the weaknesses to your no contact regime in an effective and straightforward manner and is available for just US $ 5.

Obtain it here

10 thoughts on “No Contact No Nos

  1. Ema says:

    HG,
    What about when you continue living in the same flat which the two of you shared…?
    I feel his constant presence here, almost like a ghost of someone who has died in the other room.
    I don’t know if I will ever completely move on and heal if I stay in this flat. But I also don’t want to give up on everything what is dear and comfortable because of this idiot. I like the flat, I found it myself, I did the furnishing, decorations, etc, location is perfect and I feel at home, however everything still reminds me of him (I broke up with him a month and a half ago and he moved out). I removed everything, no gifts, no nothing, but he is still everywhere. There is a room I can’t spend more than 5 minutes in, because it was the room where he used to spend most of the time, on his computer and also the room where he performed his constant silent treatments and loved to lock himself inside while I was crying and banging on the door…
    So yeah, I guess the place makes it more difficult for me.
    What is your opinion? Should I stay, will it get better?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You would be better served by moving. If you remain, you will move forward but it will take much longer AND should he hoover you, you are likely to be more vulnerable owing to your increased emotional thinking caused by the ever presence of the memories arising from the flat.

  2. Virtual art historian says:

    A bit hard when you live in the house half owned by him. What do I do, sell it?

  3. Claire says:

    I was so angry after his latest disengagement that I dumped his gifts to me on his driveway. Would this have provided fuel or caused an injury or both?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      It would wound.

      1. Claire says:

        Thanks H.G.! I’m getting the silent treatment now.

  4. JC says:

    HG,
    I keep purging to the point of becoming a minimalist! It’s quite empowering actually. I wondered how it is for the narcissist to hold onto items? I was shocked to see my ex using our marital bedding with his new wife! That’s the last thing I would ever do, but to each his own. Does that give him some kind of thrill or does it not matter? I would think that they would want to purge as well … do saved items conjure memories for the narcissist? I do know pictures will.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      He will regard the bedding as his not a marital item.

  5. Don’t allow yourself to feel guilty if returning an item of theirs is not possible, for whatever reason. Removing it from your possession for your own sake is more important than doing what is “right.”

    As an example, I had a pocket knife of his (given to him as a gift from a now dead family member of a friend) that I held onto with the intention to return it if ever given an opportunity. Because that’s what good people do, isn’t it? Except when the other party prefers to manipulate, your “good” is twisted to suit whatever narrative they’d please. Queue a hoover a few years down the line, where the knife seemed like a ridiculously important memento he “couldn’t live without returning (to the friend).” Hm. Again, pitting me against the fury of his friends rather than facing me of his own accord. Alright, fine. I’d agreed to ship it wherever, he’d tell me to hold on to it until he was back in town instead. Eventually (during a silent treatment, mind you) my therapist decided neither of us needed a weapon in either of our hands (me because of my self-harming tendancies, him because he has ASPD and the fact of that diagnosis alone concerns said therapist) and asked to confiscate the knife and I complied with her request. Having him as far removed from my life as possible, she too explained, is more valuable than any material object. Post-ST he decided I’m not worth the trouble and texted me an address to send the knife to, I told him what I’ve done with the knife as is, and now I’m in blissfully quiet Discardland. Because I’m the audacious and inconsiderate one, apparently.

    I expect he’ll hold a grudge over the knife, along with his friend/minions, but that’s better than having the same blade slide into my gut. At least he won’t be able to stab me with the added bonus of a sentimental weapon of choice, if he does get an itchy stabbin’ hand. At least he’s a few states away, for now. Bleh.

    1. Caroline says:

      Better not to risk it WIW. You have a smart therapist.

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