Fuel
If you want to understand what is absolutely central to the behaviour of the narcissist and your role in this, you must read this work.
15 thoughts on “Fuel”
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I purchased and read this book in one sitting last night. I now understand why it felt like he didn’t care. He didn’t.I When he said I was projecting my imagination on him, I felt confused and I now know it was a lie. It is a bitter pill to swallow that he made a choice to abuse me and use his position of authority to feed himself. I appreciate the knowledge. Thank you for writing the book.
You are welcome and thank you for reading it.
I find HG’s books easy reads as well. I can devour one in one sitting most of the time. Maybe one bathroom break! Ha ha
I recognised him early, I am hunting now.. Thank you, HG. I knew his steps before he has done one of them. . [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZfVaL_faEQ&w=790&h=527%5D
yes totally a must
HG agrees.
HG is the blog finished? I see you post much less..
No.
ok. Hope you are doing fine.
I continue to forge forward, thank you for your kind wishes.
okay. Only because some years ago when you stopped posting you told me that you were sick, the sickest you had been in your life. Glad your fine.
Good evening HG,
This is such a brilliant book.
If I may I was hoping to ask a couple of questions in relation to the fuel publication.
I ask this more so as I do not wish to make an assumption about the potential links, and causation of the fuel structures and hierarchy re – form of delivery.
1- Are words rated higher then gestures due to direct nature in understanding them? My thoughts were that gestures often have meaning in the action itself , meaning that is often meant to be felt rather then observed; or even heard as words can be, either through spoken word or written word. So if the narcissist struggles to feel or can not feel certain emotions, the ability to feel the emotion driving a gesture or action is often not recognised, so lower potency? I guess negative gestures are easier to recognise, and are more obvious
At times with universally known swearing gestures for example. They are also linked to emotions that the narcissist can experience more so.
2- You draw attention to make note that loving gestures and words are lower on the hierarchy to attentive and admiring ones on the positive fuel spectrum. This makes total sense to me, but again it would be an assumption of mine that this is due to the conditioning and experiences / learnt behaviours from childhood. Re- admiration / praise being experienced more often in relation to manipulation to do better, rather then loving gestures or any feeling of being loved. I can see why negative fuel may also be high in potency if this assumption has any validity re- learning from own experiences of being verbally, physically and mentally abused in childhood( if this is applicable to the individual). If it was more common an experience then Positive attention from the care giver.
I also totally understand through this book why negative fuel is sought as it is indicative of More power and control over the targeted person.
( if these questions have been asked already please may I be directed to relevant article/ comments?)
I listened to a couple of your new you tube videos earlier, the video on “does the narcissist mean anything he says” is excellent! So well written and articulated so there is no scrap of doubt.
If there was a way of categorising the videos in an order of must listen! Then this should be very high up in the list in my opinion. It is so important for people to understand that in the moment anything could be said and done by the narcissist to acquire fuel, it is not about the Individual person at all. Its only about what the narcissist observes they can gain at that time, to get fuel from the person and to further any other aims / goals that they have; which may have relevance to the person with whom they are interacting with in that moment.
All of your articles help me to see the narcissist perspective- this is what I needed and beyond my capacity without your guidance, to see through a lens that we can not create ourselves.
Thank you for all of your hard work in continuing to write amazing articles and producing auditory videos, both forms are very effective in your teachings.
This is my number 1!! Love this book! If this isn’t the first of HGs books that you read?! It should be the second!!!
HG approves.
Absolutely essential book to read!