A Glimpse of the Future
It is well known that our kind operate by the wearing of masks. We have learned how to portray those emotions which we do not feel. We have ascertained that in certain situations we are expected to respond in a particular way. We know that by donning a particular mask we are more likely to charm and seduce you. We are aware that maintaining a certain mask the vicious malevolence that lurks beneath can be kept in check so that we achieve acceptability and the advancement of our agendas. There are occasions when we will give you a glimpse of what lies beneath this mask. I am not referring to when we whip the mask off and subject you to devaluation. That is a purposeful and intended act on our part. I am not making reference to when the mask fractures as a consequence of the ignition of our fury and the lesser and mid-range of our kind are unable to keep the mask in place so that the ignited fury erupts and the malicious beast is unleashed. There are occasions however when we provide you with a fleeting glance beneath the mask as to what lies beneath. This will happen during the seduction period. Sometimes it is as a consequence of the effect of a particular agent, such as alcohol. Sometimes, especially with the greater of our kind, it is done as deliberate act in order to gauge your reaction. In such an instance, we tell you of what lies ahead to see if you baulk at the suggestion, or that more likely you respond in a sympathetic manner of even by way of denial.
“I couldn’t ever imagine you doing that.”
“That won’t happen with me though. It might have with other people but I will treat you better than they have.”
“You’re not like that, don’t be silly.”
“I don’t see you doing something like that, you are too nice.”
If you respond in such terms when you have been given such a warning, then this is a green light to us that we have you under our control and that you will accord with our desires and machinations. It also allows us, when we do eventually behave in the manner described down the line during the devaluation, to throw it back in your face by saying.
“I did warn you.”
“Why are you complaining? I was upfront that this would happen.”
“I told you so.”
“It’s no use crying about it now. I told you what I was like.”
“I told you and you chose to stay with me. It is your fault.”
Not only does this enable us to avoid blame, something we must achieve, it will also result in you reacting and providing us with fuel.
With the lesser or mid-range of our kind, these comments are more akin to thinking aloud. The mask does slip, unintentionally for a moment, through the explanation of a future behaviour before it is realised what has been said and the disclosure is brushed to one side, denied or passed off as a silly comment owing to drink or being tired. Why do these comments arise in such a manner from the lesser and mid-range of our kind? Is it guilt or remorse? No, because those emotions are not felt by our kind. It arises from a lack of control. The “bad” behaviour that will arise at some point is lurking beneath the surface and like a cat fighting to get out of a sack, it is always wanting to make an appearance but is prevented from doing so by the maintenance of the mask that is worn. Occasionally, through the loss of control – it may be drink, it may be fatigue, it may be through inattention – what lurks beneath makes a brief and fleeting appearance before the control is exerted once again. Here are fifteen portentous show and tells of our kind. Should you ever hear these comments you ought to pay heed to the warning that you are being given.
- I am a bad person really.
- I will only hurt you.
- You should stay away from me.
- I do bad things. I cannot help it. I always do.
- I will make you wish you had never met me.
- It will go wrong, it always does.
- You will end up hating me.
- You don’t know what you are getting into with me.
- You shouldn’t do this.
- You should leave while you can.
- This is going to turn out badly.
- I have to hurt people.
- I don’t want to hurt you, but I will.
- I just want to fit in.
- I’m not what you think I am.
21 thoughts on “A Glimpse of the Future”
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I always got “I have an expiration date.” or “I have a shelf life” and “I have a dark side”
My online narc asked just a few days into our entanglement, “Should I leave you be? You are at such a pivotal point in your life (he knew I was thinking of ending my marriage) and it wouldn’t be fair for me to use my years of experience chatting with women to manipulate your feelings.” It was part false-discard, to see if I’d beg him not to go, and all mind-fuck. Who says this to a person? NOW I KNOW. So grateful to have escaped.
Mary
I saw the mask fall off after I gave him a response he didn’t like. He had been drinking and lashed out at me verbally like never before. Had I drove and my purse not been locked in his trunk I would have immediate left. I did tell him to take me home and we got half way out and said if I could act right we could stay. I was so angry but knew if I didn’t just go back it be worse. So a few hours later we’re on the way home and he’s asking me why I’m not close to him in the car. Needless to say we didn’t last long after that and I told him I’m done with him for good which he didn’t like but I’m so grateful for hg tudors insight to help me know what to do to get away from his brand of crazy.
Well done Brandie, what a nerve! he’s unworthy of you.
M ex narc said similar things. Of course I didn’t believe it during the golden period. On a camping trip he said, regarding women, “I make them fat and mean.” Now I know why. He also continually asked me: “Do you know who I am?” Over and over again. I am not sure to this day what he was talking about with that comment. He pretended to be christian and claimed to be a savior of sorts, following Jesus, etc (clearly he was not, from cheating, lying, etc) so I am beginning to think that this was his way of saying that he knew he was a narcissist. The last conversation I had with him, when I had learned about this blog and knowledge, it had gotten back to him via a mutual friend, that I thought he was a narcissist, he was his true self. Cold. Brutally honest. He said for the first time to me “protect your heart,” and ” I fuck other women. Always have.” And there was NOTHING left of our golden period. No friendship even. He was as cold as a murderer. It was so bizarre I cannot barely believe it, he was a different person! But now I know that what I last saw was the real person, what he truly was. So the Hoover worked, and he was one step ahead of me, the last meeting to have the final word. Mr. Tudor, each day I am eternally grateful for your insight and blogs. Without you, I wouldn’t be on my way to healing and understanding. Thank you!
You are welcome.
The narc in my life used music extensively. The first song he ever sang to me was “Crazy”. At the time he was acting as a friend. It wasn’t until later on when I figured him out I looked up the lyrics.
And now that you are having the time of your life
Well think twice
That’s my only advice
Advice I should have heeded
OMG!!
‘You think you’re in control, ha ha ha bless your soul’
Ditto!
The lyrics to that song… *sigh*
Wounded same Narc? They all come from the same mould, and they all think they are unique, hardly.
Music. Songs. Tools of the trade. He sent me one too during the second “golden” period or in my mind since I’ve only just recently discovered HG and his vernacular, I call it Act Two, scene 1, wherein I attempted to escape and was drawn back in with said song ( written by the narcissist), promises, caresses and the type of manly tears you see in the movies.
I’d like to share with you a different type of song. I hope it speaks to you in the way it does me. I listen to it when I’m feeling weak or reminiscing about the golden moments.
“Hypocritical Kiss” by Jack White.
100% true.
Rachel – Nikita and Nina – he sent me a video of him crying in the beginning saying that he would hurt me but he had to have me anyway. Glad I’m not alone 🙁
I watched that video and cried with him! I then sent him a song to let him know I’d support him no matter what, how stupid of me. I’m so stupid. Love devotee right here – I emit neon flashing lights for incubuses.
Oh, why you look so sad, the tears are in your eyes,
Come on and come to me now, and don’t be ashamed to cry,
Let me see you through, ’cause I’ve seen the dark side too.
When the night falls on you, you don’t know what to do,
Nothing you confess could make me love you less,
I’ll stand by you,
I’ll stand by you, won’t let nobody hurt you,
I’ll stand by you
So if you’re mad, get mad, don’t hold it all inside,
Come on and talk to me now.
Hey there, what you got to hide?
I get angry too, well, I’m alive like you.
When you’re standing at the cross roads,
And don’t know which path to choose,
Let me come along, ’cause even if you’re wrong
I’ll stand by you,
I’ll stand by you, won’t let nobody hurt you,
I’ll stand by you.
Baby, even to your darkest hour, and I’ll never desert you,
I’ll stand by you.
And when, when the night falls on you baby,
You’re feeling all a lone, you’re wandering on your own,
I’ll stand by you.
I’ll stand by you, won’t let nobody hurt you,
I’ll stand by you, baby even to your darkest hour,
And I’ll never desert you,
I’ll stand by you,
I’ll stand by you.
I’ll stand by you, won’t let nobody hurt you,
I’ll stand by you, baby even to your darkest hour,
And I’ll never desert you
I’ll stand by you
https://youtu.be/bLpmj059JFA
Presque Vu
Oh I’ll bet he had a raging hard on after he received that lol, but dont be so hard on yourself-you had good intention and he did not. A bloody crying video-I hope you can laugh at the adsurdity of ot all now (or soon).
Ha ha NA! ‘raging hard on’.
Presque Vu, he’s such an actor! He’s missed his calling.
Oh yeah NA! Full raging hard on with fuel explosion!
I can only imagine how powerful he must have felt!
I can laugh, I’ve done my crying 🙂
Presque Vu, just smile and realize that song you sent him was from The Pretenders anyway.. 😂
I never thought of that shesaw! Quite apt then 😝
Number 11 and number 13. Check. He literally said: “I’ve seen a vulnerability in you, and I don’t want to hurt you. I didn’t care in the past, but I don’t want you to get hurt.” In other words: run while you can. Of course, I only heard the words “in the past”, and thought with me things would be different. He hurt the other women, who were not vulnerable, but he genuinely cares about me. *cough* And yes, afterwards he also said that he warned me. That I agreed to find out what would happen between us.
Too late, but I’ll always remember this.
Its amazing how you can describe this so exactly and how it does happen word by word…
Then it’s time to run!!! And don’t look back!
So accurate it made my skin crawl. I asked him once “ are you Satan?” (half joking of course.) He replied “ Yes. Incarnate. You’ve been warned”.
Crikey!!!!!
Mine just said “you don’t deserve it, but you are stuck with me- marriage vows say that”
He once towards the end said “I am not worth even the air I breathe” which was sad. Was it an admission of guilt? Was it pure self hatred?
Trouble is you cannot know with these people.