You v Her



I have grown weary of the incumbent primary supply. The fuel that ought to be provided at a premium level has become diminished in quantity and quality. Whilst it still flows as part of the devaluation that continues, the time has come to audition for your replacement. I am courting you following my usual preparatory work once you have been targeted and I have now commenced your seduction. You are not alone. I am seducing someone else as well. It makes sense to have an insurance policy after all. You won’t know about this competitor (at least not yet) but believe me that when you are in the early stages of being seduced by our kind, it is highly likely that I was seducing someone else. In order to identify the best source of fuel so we choose the most effective primary source, we will set a number of tests. These tests are not so arduous that they will risk the seduction failing, but are designed to ascertain which of the two, or more, competing prospects provides the best fuel. This current performance amounts to a strong indicator of future performance. Here are ten of the tests that are commonly utilised.

  1. Sending the same text message to both prospects to see who responds the fastest.
  2. Sending the same text message to both prospects without concerns as to the speed of reply but as to which provides the best fuel-laden response.
  3. Arranging a date with both prospects and then cancelling (with a view to re-arranging of course) to determine who is the most disappointed and which of the prospects tries to keep the date alive by making adjustments and alternative suggestions.
  4. Calling both prospects in the middle of the night to see who answers.
  5. Sending the same gift at the same time to see who thanks us the fastest and in the most appreciative manner.
  6. If sexual coupling has occurred at this early juncture, then sleeping with you both in the space of 24 hours (or less) in order to determine who is the more fuel accomplished lover.
  7. Feigning a minor emergency and seeing who responds the fastest and with the greatest concern and compassion.
  8. Suggesting a date when I know that the prospects have something else on to see who will break their existing engagement in order to see me.
  9. Having a lieutenant try to arrange a date with you to see if you rebuff him and make mention of me.
  10. Holding a social media challenge to see how many likes, re-tweets, comments each prospect applies to my postings in a three-day period to see who posts the most and provides the most fuel.


Not only does this contest between the two prospects provide us with plenty of fuel coming from two fuel lines, it enables us to determine who we should focus our greater efforts on to ensure they are seduced and become our intimate partner and primary source. If the contest is too close to call after the ten tests above, then additional tests will be applied and the ten above will be re-run also. The winner becomes our intimate partner but the loser does not go home empty handed, not at all. They are likely to be awarded the status of inner or outer circle friend and they will be kept within our sphere of influence as a supplier of fuel. They also a future role to play in a prospective triangulation and there may even be a promotion in the offing at some point….

30 thoughts on “You v Her

  1. Tania Wedde says:

    Wow. This is incredibly insightful. I have learned a lot about my own behaviour as a people pleaser and how this has attracted the people it has. Thanks for opening my eyes to my own part in it.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are welcome.

  2. joy maddox says:

    I used to think I was in control by ‘staying a step ahead’ of him but the truth is he’s in control even still, by me seeking any kind of revenge….he’s always going to be in control….no matter what I do or don’t do. Once they touch our lives, no matter how little or big…they are there to stay. The physcological effects their kind leave us with is a negative residue that touched our spirits…their nasty spiritual residue is there….to stay. 20 yrs can go by and we may have never thought of them at all, but all of a sudden we have this memory pop into our heads and it’s like we have been knocked to our knees.

    1. Clarece says:

      Agreed Joy! I call it a permanent imprint. That residue is like our own creature now we keep locked in a mental vault.

  3. Flickatina says:

    I am actually rather shocked at the sheer amount of effort expended here….I mean really?? Would you not just like a simpler life? Being a narc is exhausting!

  4. Presque Vu says:

    I’m struggling right now with ever trusting again.
    How can we possibly protect ourselves from this?

    1. Pale Horse says:

      Same here PV. And I don’t have the answer either.

    2. Quasi says:

      Presque Vu,

      Trust you, love you, know you, be kind to you.
      We can protect ourselves by looking after ourselves as a priority, by valuing ourselves so others can not devalue us.

      By knowing we are enough, and that we are empowered by a light that can show us a way forward.

      Take the first step and the rest will follow..

      1. Presque Vu says:

        Thank you Quasi, you know I like my music and that’s a great share thank you!

    3. Clarece says:

      Hi Presque Vu! I’m sorry you’re feeling anxious about feeling stuck. Wish I could say it gets better. Been 3 years for me and I stay pretty reclusive, I have horrible trust issues now, and I think I would be so hyper vigilant if I even tried to be in a relationship, I would be 100 times more insecure and clingy than I even was with what JN stirred up in me. I have my daughter, my family in town, and about 5 close girlfriends I rotate with going out so I stay busy when I want to. But I prefer solitude. Sometimes I’m frustrated because it seems like such a waste. Once upon a time I was such a loving, doting wife. I can’t deal with any more rejection though.

      1. Chihuahuamum says:

        Hi sorry you feel this way and i can totally understand! I do think scenerios of the future and everything ive gone thru with my hubby and my narc and my narc mother i think itll be solitude for me as well. I do want to rebuild my confidance tho and work on me.

    4. Valkyrie says:

      I understand Presque Vu, but there are plenty of men and women out there who will love us and not treat us this way. They will love and respect us without continuously creating an atmosphere of drama and negativity and self-doubt.

      You just have to look for the signs or red flags. If someone is love bombing you, telling you they love you and want to be with you forever, before they even know you or have spent time with you. Moving too quickly is a sign. Giving you constant attention, nonstop texts or calls. When they switch from incredibly loving to outright mean. When they are controlling or don’t want you to see friends or family. They give lots of gifts. They disappear for periods of time with no explanation or some crazy made up reason. You don’t let there family and friends. They don’t have long time friends or their previous relationships ended badly.

      Trust your gut, if something seems off about that person, like you catch them in a lie (little or big), they are a deceptive person. That was one of my first signs…he lied about something so small. Then came the big lies.

      1. NarcAngel says:

        Valkyrie and PV
        Good advice. Also use the search function for the following articles that may assist.

        Flush him out
        Now I have you

      2. Presque Vu says:

        All you lovely ladies and men thank you for your wise words.
        I’m going through a blip.10 months in and I thought it was supposed to get easier! Of course I’ve learned from HG the red flags but it’s deflated my belief in people.
        I clearly have more work to do. Stuck is a good way to describe it Clarice.

    5. Valkyrie says:

      You can also use triangulation in a positive way. Triangulation in this case means welcoming new people into your life that will serve as a support network to you. All this time, the narcissist has triangulated you with others to validate their own sense of superiority. Now you must “triangulate” your narcissist with a new support system to validate your experiences. This is not meant to make the narcissist jealous – it is meant to give you the resources and empowerment you need to heal.

  5. Caroline says:

    This article brings up so many long-familiar feelings from childhood: you’ll never be enough to hold my interest; what you feel doesn’t matter; you aren’t important; you should get used to feeling like an object of ridicule; you have no intrinsic value, you aren’t interesting enough to hold my attention; you have to keep jumping through hoops to satisfy me; you will never arrive (at that elusive destination), you will never feel safe; no-one will ever be really on your side; you should be glad of what you get; you’ll just have to get used to it; get used to feeling like you’re in the ‘one down’ position; get used to it feeling like it’s hard work all the time; get used to feeling drained; if you complain it’s because you have the problem; there is nothing special about you; there is nothing that would make me choose you out of the crowd; there is nothing about you that would make me want you particularly; you will never be enough; you aren’t lovable, not really, you are just here to be of use to me, you have no say in how I use you; if this doesn’t work out it’s your fault; you should have tried harder; you’re doing it wrong; you don’t want to make me angry; I will show you favour if you do exactly as I say; get used to me laughing at your expense; get used to competing for my love; even when we’re together you’ll feel lonely, even when I say I love you you’ll feel lonely, even when you feel for a brief moment that you’re my favourite, you’ll still feel lonely.

    Did I say childhood?
    This is how I’ve felt with every single N in my adult life too.

    1. Daisy says:

      Oh yes, Caroline, all of it my entire life I too have been fed upon by these creatures. Empaths have been groomed and conditioned since birth to be ensnared by these emotional vampires. The only way that I got free was embracing singleness, celiibicy, and turning all my love and kindness toward God. No one likes to hear it because it is the drug of choice for most women myself included, but romance is a lie. Every fairytale, love story and romantic comedy has been carefully crafted to manipulate how we are emotionally wired and make empathic people, women inparticular, believe that sex equals love. And so we tumble into bed with these creatures before marriage. . . and that’s it. . . we now are the property of Satan and his demons, who are very real by the way. I did it and ended up married and had kids with my tormenter. So I divorced him and got one that was even worse. Of course, there are other ways besides sex that these parasites get in but sex ie fornication masterbation and adultry are the major entry points and it was my experience that these creatures are beyond amazing in the sack which makes the endorphins released in orgasm act as a mind control drug making it even more difficult to get free. Read the Bible and research the Jezebel spirit. The world is not what it appears to be and this is why we need a Savior. It is possible to retain your love and kindness toward others by giving it to God instead of the darkside. Peace and Blessings.

  6. Caroline says:

    This article makes me feel so sad.
    Both women (and whoever else) are on the deck of the Titanic.
    The ship is going down, and they are too busy fighting over the arrangement of the deckchairs.

    1. Caroline says:

      ‘ a promotion in the offing at some point…’
      A promotion on the Titanic is still doomed and not worth having.

  7. Leslie says:

    Well, that’s all bloody boring.

    When you hoover, i play along, calculating exactly how much fuel i feel like providing to keep using you for my own ends.

    When your lieutenants approach, I say what is expected so i keep you in my sphere.

    I do just enough to keep you coming back to the fuel trough.

    Who’s in control?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Us because you are still giving us what we want and your ET is conning you into thinking you are in control because you are continuing to engage and thus feed your own addiction.

    2. kurwaniematrix0 says:

      Ask yourself what does he do for you during this hoovering? Pay your bills? Give presents? Help you around the house or with your work? Take you on dates? Does he give you anything at all? NO. Nothing. But you are giving him attention and an ego boost he needs. Who is the loser and who is the winner?

  8. Valkyrie says:

    The picture shows women fighting each other. But in my experience, I did not feel anger at all at the other women. Initially he told me I was the only one. He had his heart broken by a previous girlfriend, who he said he gave the world to. I am not even sure now if this is true.

    Later, I discovered he was cheating on all of us. Future faking all of us, even going as far as buying each an engagement ring.

    I met the other women. They were lovely. I only felt more pain at knowing they were hurt too.

    There is a natural curiosity that comes with being cheated on. Why was I not enough? Did he like her more? But really, meeting the women who had been tricked as well, firmed my resolve to leave. Why would I want to be with someone who treated other women in such an awful way and has such poor character? Would I really want a life with someone like that? No.

    How you treat somone is a reflection of your character not hers/his. Unless of course you are mirroring.

  9. Daisy says:

    You’re like a finely tuned torture machine. The precsision with which you ensnare victims is not human. You are a real life vampire. Do you drink blood for real? How old were you when this demonic spirit took you over? Whoever or whatever you are you have a brilliant mind.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      1. No.
      2. There is no demonic spirit.

    2. MB says:

      Daisy, you’d be surprised how much HG is like us.

      1. Caroline says:

        Well said MB,
        we were all little seedlings in the same self-love deficient soil.

        1. MB says:

          Caroline, I’m glad you got it. I like how you said that.

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