A Very Royal Narcissist

A VERY ROYALNARCISSIST

On Saturday 19th May, Rachel Meghan Markle (“RMM”) will marry Prince Harry and this forthcoming union is attracting just as much attention for the debacle surrounding the bride’s family as the event itself. I will be far more interested in the FA Cup which takes place on the same day, but one cannot avoid the repeated mention of the forthcoming royal nuptials and thus Miss Markle comes under scrutiny.

Is she a narcissist? Her half-sister, Samantha Markle certainly thinks so as she has been particularly outspoken about RMM calling her

a narcissist, a shallow, social climber”

She has also criticised RMM for failing to provide any emotional or financial support to her and RMM’s father once RMM became famous. Others have described Samantha Markle as being jealous and exhibiting a sense of entitlement. Are Samantha’s remarks accurate and demonstrate what RMM is and those attacking Samantha are the coterie and Lieutenants of RMM, as they attempt to limit any damage and discredit Samantha or are they the remarks  and the ramblings of a jealous sibling? It is difficult to assess in isolation. However, it is interesting that Samantha chose such a description. If she wanted to insult RMM she might have chosen other unpleasant descriptions such as branding her a whore, a gold-digger, stand-offish and such like. Thus, might there be some grain of truth (when viewed cynically) in what Samantha Markle has said?

Samantha Markle also commented that RMM watched the royals on television when young (hardly anything unique in that) and that RMM preferred Harry as she has a soft spot for gingers and it was always her ambition to be a princess. It is hardly a revelation that a young girl wants to be a princess, many do aspire to that dream as part of their childhood and drop such a notion as they grow older.

Other family members have not been shy at expressing their opinion about RMM. Her Uncle Michael Markle stated

I’m upset and surprised about not being selected but if they don’t want me there, then I don’t want to go.”

Half-brother Tom Markle Jnr remarked

She’s torn our entire family apart. She’s clearly forgotten her roots.” 

He claims he sent her a congratulatory letter on her engagement which was not replied to.

Two other uncles have been snubbed, one a bishop (admittedly of his own church) and the other a retired US diplomat. It appears only two family members of RMM have actually been invited and the farce surrounding her father’s attendance/non-attendance on her wedding day has clogged-up many a newsfeed. It transpires that it is her mother Doria Ragland who will attend and give RMM away. Her mother has only arrived in the UK three days ago where one might have expected a longer attendance given the high-profile nature of the wedding. Did she not want to come sooner or was she not permitted to do so?

Is it the case that RMM is surrounded by a dysfunctional family and thinks it better that they should not attend or is it the case that whilst her family may have their issues they wish to share in RMM’s happy wedding day and would do so without complication, but RMM sees their attendance and involvement as embarrassing, a reminder of where she came from (which she wants to forget now she is in the rarified atmosphere of royal life) and thus is most content to keep them an ocean away and uninvited? A caring individual would most likely invite family because, well, they are family. Yes, the odd relative may not be invited for cogent reasons but to only have two family members attend does smack of a calculated decision to keep them away because they no longer serve any purpose and would damage RMM’s image. If so, such behaviour is in line with the narcissistic behaviour of maintaining a particular appearance and cutting people off quite readily.

Such a conclusion gains credence with the revelations from former friend Ninaki Priddy who was friends with RMM for thirty of RMM’s 36 years on the planet. Miss Priddy commented

Meghan was calculated, very calculated in the way she handled people and relationships. She is very strategic in the way she cultivates circles of friends. Once she decides you’re not part of her life, she can be very cold. It’s this shutdown mechanism she has.”

Miss Priddy’s observation, if accurate, paints a picture of significant narcissistic behaviour by demonstrating

  • calculated behaviour to achieve an aim
  • friendship is developed for ulterior gain, not for the friendship in itself
  • the switching behaviour – white to black
  • the swift execution of such behaviour evidencing a lack of empathy

Having been a friend for such an extensive time period Miss Priddy must have some basis for the remarks. Might she however be a jealous friend? Her friendship ended with RMM owing to the way RMM treated her first husband, Trevor Engleton. A disapproval of such behaviour does demonstrate empathy on the part of Miss Priddy and lends credence to her credibility with regard to her observations.

RMM and Mr Engleton were together for six years and married in 2011. Soon after, RMM achieved her breakthrough role as an actress in the series ‘Suits’ and moved to Toronto. Mr Engleton was the one who travelled back and forth from California to Toronto to support his wife. He put in the miles as he shuttled to and from RMM with no suggestion she reciprocated. Not withstanding his dedication, the marriage did not last long and they split and divorced in 2013. Mr Engleton commented that the split “came out of the blue” and that RMM posted the engagement and wedding rings back to him to show it was over. Did RMM disengage from Mr Engleton without explanation, just relying on the symbolic act of returning the rings? If so, such haughty and dismissive behaviour would accord with the behaviour of a narcissist.

Miss Priddy explained that once the nuptials had been secured between the two, RMM behaved “like a light switched off”. This is further indicative behaviour demonstrating that once RMM felt her relationship with Mr Engleton was secured through marriage, she had control and therefore need not behave towards him in a favourable way, in other words, the golden period came to an end. Apparently, RMM had commented about Mr Engleton previously

“if anything were to happen to [Mr Engleton] she wouldn’t be able to go on”

Yet, RMM ended the marriage. Of course people’s feelings can change, but there was no suggestion that Mr Engleton did anything to invite such treatment, on the contrary he remained a faithful and devoted husband, but it appeared he had outlived his usefulness and with RMM’s career rising and in the ascendancy he was no longer required and thus jettisoned with familiar callousness and swiftness which is the preserve of the narcissist.

During her time in Toronto, there were suggestions that whilst married she became close to a Michael Del Zolte, whether there is any substance in this is unknown. It was also rumoured she had a fling with the golfer Rory McIlroy but again this is unconfirmed. If those suggestions were true then this would accord with the behaviour of a narcissist who has no concern with regard to infidelity and serving a sense of entitlement. Indeed, if this was the case then with Mr Engleton secured by marriage and ensconced in California, he would be in devaluation as the Intimate Partner Primary Source and it would not be a surprise for Mr Del Zolte and Mr McIlroy to become ensnared also as Intimate Partner Secondary Sources. However, the extent of any veracity with regard to these rumoured extra-marital relationships remains unconfirmed.

It is however confirmed that following the end of her marriage, RMM moved on to Canadian Chef Cory Vitiello and the pair dated through 2014 to 2016. Further comment has arisen that her relationship with Prince Harry arose whilst she was still with Mr Vitiello and she then ended the relationship with him because Prince Harry was in the picture. If accurate, such a shift from one person to another, especially one which would be regarded as a ‘trade-up’ in terms of wealth, status and position would appeal to a narcissist. Of course, people do move from one relationship to another with some overlap and this is not in itself determinative of that person as begin a narcissist, but such behaviour, which is ultimately self-serving and selfish whichever way it is looked at, is not flattering and when added to other indicative factors, then the evidence begins to mount up.

RMM and Prince’s Harry’s relationship has naturally been well-documented and they became engaged after just 18 months of meeting. Some may see that as rather quick, but it is not unduly hasty and certainly many narcissists would outstrip that time period with room to spare.

A number of RMM’s behaviours certainly weigh against her in terms of narcissism –

  • She was a stripper ( a role, as with being an actress that appeals to someone with high narcissistic traits even if it does not make them a narcissist)
  • She stated she was a stripper on her CV, clearly unconcerned about how that would appear – evidencing a sense of entitlement and lack of accountability
  • The reference to her being a stripper was then later removed from her CV as she began to move in more refined circles – facade management
  • Her body language in interviews and engagements with Harry has shown her to stare at him for an overly long time, clasp his hand and place her hand repeatedly on Harry’s back (the Trump power pat) all of which denotes a desire to dominate and signal that she is in charge whilst no doubt using plausible deniability to reject such an accusation by claiming that she is being supportive
  • There have been suggestions that she has not actually graduated from North West University although claiming to do so – if so, this is the grandiosity, telling of lies and stage management that narcissists engage in
  • Mirroring – she wore a blue bracelet identical to Harry’s and has repeatedly worn outfits and also adopted poses mirroring Kate Middleton (the Duchess of Cambridge), Princess Diana and Pippa Middleton. The photographs and footage show this repeated narcissistic trait.
  • Allegations that her wealth is over-stated. She is said to be worth US $ 5 million yet was living in a poor area of Toronto in property apparently paid for by the studio responsible for suits – if this is correct this show grandiosity and facade management
  • Touts herself as a feminist and taking up progressive causes, caring about mental health however was content to wear a £ 56 000 engagement dress (so much for being a humanitarian), has apparently done nothing to assist her own father who has health issues and as for her commitment to progressive causes so far this appears to have been writing a letter aged 11 or thereabouts to a soap company complaining about a sexist add and writing a piece for Elle magazine about her struggle concerning her racial identity. Hardly a litany of fire-brand commitment and therefore evidence the hypocrisy, facade management and fake empathy of the narcissist.
  • She has expensive tastes and likes to show off her connections as evidenced by the list of famous friends and high end products which existed on her Instagram account before it was closed down – again grandiosity
  • Prince Harry has never met her father which seems a very strange step given he is the father of the bride and Prince Harry has no difficulty in travelling around the world. Does RMM want to keep those troublesome facade damaging relatives away from her target perhaps? The typical narcissistic behaviour of compartmentalising their lives and isolating perceived troublemakers.
  • Many of Prince Harry’s childhood friends have not been invited to the wedding but many celebrities have. One doubts this is Prince Harry’s doing but rather the actions of a controlling and calculating mind who does not want reminders of a world she did not occupy and instead prefers to fill it with vacuous status-boosintg celebrities who are only really there to say ‘look at me’ anyway.

The cumulative effect of these behaviours, the treatment of family, the intimate relationship pattern (especially towards her ex-husband) and the observations of a longstanding former friend do cause the conclusion that RMM is a narcissist, to be reached. All of the above, some of which are confirmed and others remain speculative as stated, if all taken to be accurate demonstrate

  • A sense of entitlement
  • A lack of empathy
  • A lack of accountability
  • Black and white thinking
  • Use of inter-personal relationships as devices for self-gain
  • Lying
  • Grandiosity
  • Haughty behaviour
  • A manufactured version of self
  • Facade management
  • A desire for recognition and response (fuel)
  • Switching
  • Compartmentalisation
  • Isolation

All of which support RMM being a narcissist.

This conclusion is also heavily supported by Prince Harry himself. This is a man who lost his mother in tragic circumstances and at a very young age followed his mother’s hearse with the eyes of the world on him. He has faced repeated rumours about his real father not being Prince Charles but James Hewitt. It is clear that these experiences have had a significant impact on him and would suggest he has suffered some form of damage, a trait which is attractive to the narcissist.

Prince Harry no doubt has a significant extrovert streak. He is not academic but is industrious, well-liked and enjoyed something of a reputation as a party prince. However, be under no illusion that those in the upper echelons of society have always enjoyed a good knees-up and engaged in substantial bacchanalian excess – the difference then was the world’s media and social media was nowhere near as brazen and intrusive. Furthermore, those around the royals were far more discrete. Prince Harry is no different to many of his family and ancestors – he has just been seen enjoying himself raucously rather than it be hidden.

Prince Harry is an empathic individual. He has inherited Princess Diana’s caring and empathic traits. He has evidenced this through his career in the army, his establishment of the Invictus Games and charity work such as his trek to the south pole. He admires Kate and William’s settled and stable family life – contrast this to his own childhood – and it is patently clear that this vivacious man is one of empathy who craves the establishment of his own settled life and his various traits are a magnet to the narcissist.

The traits and behaviours of RMM, coupled with her selection of Prince Harry and his own traits confirms that come Saturday 19th May, the Very Suited Narcissist will achieve her childhood ambition and become a royal and so with it the creation of a Very Royal Narcissist.

 

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27 thoughts on “A Very Royal Narcissist”

      1. Twilight, hopefully not on the coast! We are bracing here in N.C. They are calling for it to be rough even as far inland as I am. Florence barreling toward us is ominous indeed!

      2. MB

        I am not on the coast, just on a wait and see what happens.

        I heard this morning it has turn some and we will only be getting rain, I have not looked to see for myself.

        My thoughts are with you, and very much so with those on the coast.

      3. Twilight
        I thought of you yesterday when I was stopped behind a car from Virginia. Do all your license plates say, “Virginia is for lovers?”

      4. Windstorm

        No just the standard blue and white ones do. Only one year they did not put Virginia is for lovers instead they put 400th Jamestown Anniversary. That just happen to be the year I went to Jamestown. I will say the ships used to come here were smaller then I imagined. It was fun thou to go in and explore the inside the replicas. All I can say is I would never have left England if they expected me to sail in something like that. To close for comfort for me.

      5. WS, Fun (or not so fun fact): Virginia requires both a front plate and back plate. We only require the back plate in N.C.

  1. While they were airing the wedding, I told a girl at work that MM reminded me of the Sea Witch from The Little Mermaid. That colleague has not spoken to me since

    1. If you want to be entertained have a look at the comments on my YouTube video with regard to this article. No holds barred over there!

  2. I honestly don’t like anything about her.She looks staged fake and cardboard.I do not follow the Royals anyway ,my opinion and I mean no offence to the British here is ,they are an outdated concept that is only good for tourism.
    I mean what exactly makes you Royal ,have you special DNA or something ,it’s ridiculous this day and age ,much like the institution of the wealthy church.A load of bollocks the lot .

  3. I hope Meghan isn’t a narc. She’s had an unstable childhood and there have been reports of how her mom was insulted by first wife’s family, and jealousy that their dad paid for M’s education. I think M had forged a career for herself using whatever wits, contacts and acting skills at her disposal; just like any other actor in that tenuous career. A career that requires self promotion and publicity. It occurs to me that she never bonded with her half siblings, perhaps as a result of the veiled animosity, and although probably didn’t have much choice as a youngster mixing with them, as an adult she could choose for herself whether to engage or not. A lot of siblings on reaching adulthood, chasing own careers, relocating and forging own families, can drift apart particularly if there is no nucleus/glue (parents, grandparents) to bring them together. The level of vitriol and attention seeking by the sister, brother, ex inlaws etc is over the top (e.g. column inches, interviews, travelling to London when wedding took place). Did they do this too when M was successful in Suits? Were they attempting to self project themselves into the Royal family for reflected glory? Remember the character assassination and then later begging for a wedding invite, followed by more malice when not invited. Confused trolling, much? Desperation, much? The father trolled with the photos, health scare, interviews. Now father and the half siblings are emotionally publically blackmailing regarding health and finances. If M has narc tendencies then surely this is a reflection of her early years? M still has the right to forge a healthy stable respectful loving relationship. I assume that M and H have access to professional mental health advisors, not just PR, who can steer them in the right direction. I’m afraid it is a case of “damned if they do, and damned if they don’t”. It is what it is, time will tell. I can’t help but feel sad that their marriage started under a cloud but can only hope they will be the stronger for it.

    1. This is my observation/feel about it. The first time I saw her father open his mouth, plus the sister, I thought “narcissists for sure” and I felt bad because I wouldn’t talk to them either. Meghan I can’t tell. Maybe just tendencies from childhood like you say, and I hope she isn’t, I’ve always found Harry attractive. I have sympathy for her background and I hate class-ism anyway.
      I could see why some of the British don’t like her, I don’t find her particularly appealing and she does seem image conscious in a way that differs from the rest of the royal family. But I don’t know, there’s hypocrisy too.
      I enjoy the story some. I don’t feel the desire to root against her at all, some of the gossip is viscous!

      1. Hi Nunya Biz. I think M has an inner confidence of projecting herself probably based on her acting background. She certainly seems to have a good relationship with her mom and a lot of close friends, whether single or married with children. It’s probably the empath in me, but she has an awful lot to contend with; scrutiny/critique from the world in general, negative backlash from the bigot brigade, jealousy, press manipulation based on their agenda (?machiavellianism). But, there is also a lot of support for her as I think there would have been much more kiss & tell stories from colleagues or associates who are not part of her inner circle who have an axe to grind or want their 5 minutes of fame, nor have all her extended family dissed her. I’m British; my circle support her and this crosses all ages, singledom, married, or class status. The class divide in UK isn’t just about birth, religion, or North vs South, but education, career, finances, contacts and self interest. I think for anyone to have that level of scrutiny, it would be difficult for a “narc” to hide in plain sight. Mud sticks, and people will believe whatever fits their agenda. As others have commented, we don’t know everything and I would need to see irrefutable proof to change my opinion.

      2. Same here, HTA, I’d need proof. Nothing I’ve seen so far says *proof* to me. She’s handled herself so far and they say the “mask falls off” and most people, coworkers etc…, don’t seem to hate on her. Her mother strikes me as stoic and poised, perhaps it is a temperament and life adaptation thing.
        On the other hand some can be very stealthy. For example I’ve always wondered about Julia Roberts. She seems way too controlled to me and very unempathetic and I don’t like her. And that is the one thing about MM that bugs me is that in her pictures she does not seem truly emotive ever. Any emotion shown looks chosen and forced to me. But if I were in that position I might be the same, I would feel very scrutinized. I hate having my picture taken though and feel more comfortable being off camera, really don’t want to be recorded and I can get a little controlling about having pictures of me, so I don’t know what that means. I just consider myself best in one on one situations, and good in small groups in short bursts. Obviously MM is comfortable with cameras around considering her career.
        Ha, mud, well I’d never make it in that fish bowl, if I am a dirty empath there’s mud plenty. I’ve been developing an opinion that there is a sizable difference between a N and having strong N traits. I feel N traits are ingrained coping mechanisms most are unconscious of and used as emotional reactions and N is where a person nearly literally views life as a game to win and that mindset is so thorough that it carries over to thinking most people are out to get you, so you must play/use them first.
        Someone mentioned the BRF must have access to plenty of good therapy, I would think that would be really important in her case, I wonder how much she is aware of subconscious motivations. Her family seems to be full of assholes and you don’t get through that without thinking like one a little I would guess.
        Enjoying your opinion, this blog is my only exposure to anything British outside of the media.
        : D

  4. I love Prince Harry! I love the Royals but especially him.

    She does come from a very broken background, and I remember saying to my mum I sense trouble ahead with her. Not sure if it’s because she hasn’t been born into aristocracy and comes from a very very different social class.

    As the years go by and Royal duty calls, the endless engagements, and your life scrutinized forever more – can she cope? If she is a Narcissist the mask will slip, she will deviate, and turn against royal protocol. I cannot see her aging admirably and blending into the background of family photographs when she had the limelight all to herself previously.

    The Royal Family are pretty notorious for infidelity, if it can happen to the Queen with Prince Philip whipping his willy out here there and everywhere in his younger years, it can happen to Megan. I’d like to believe the boys saw their mother Princess Diana’s heartbreak when she confirmed Camilla as the third wheel in her marriage to Prince Charles – and they would never do this to their wives – but I just don’t know. Temptation, debauchery and the upper classes – say no more.

    Being married to the monarchy involves lifelong duty and responsibility, I honestly don’t think she has realised what she has taken on. When Harry first met Markle she scolded him for being late and she got up to leave. She’s a strong woman, a self confessed feminist – I admire those qualities in her.

    I’m not sure if she is a Narc, I agree with Lily to a point.
    Or maybe I’m so blind I can no longer see what is right before my eyes now.

  5. I think it’d be much better to have first-hand evidence of MM’s character, something quantifiable, something definite that could not be explained any other way. I do not see anything concrete in your post. Part of it is that MM hasn’t given an extended interview, unlike her half-sister or her father, so that she remains mostly unknown. Her half-sister has revealed herself in multiple posts, tweets and interviews as someone who already didn’t like MM at all. It’s hard to take what she says as neutral or kind or familial. MM’s father does seem to have a Narcissistic Personality, expecting forgiveness for many unnecessary tell-all interviews or rude phone calls or accepting payment for emotionally revealing interviews that are not in his daughter’s best interest. Selfish? Entitled? Lacking in empathy? I think he passes the Narc test. Does MM? I think it’s too soon to know.

  6. It’s the girl from Suits! I love that show!! How funny… they are finally “casting” some good looking people in the reality show that is British royalty. It all seems so staged to me. (They really do need some help in the looks department tho..). K… that was super narcissistic and mean to say huh?! I wonder if she really will be nasty and mean to him? If HG called it, I’m sure he is correct. It will be interesting to watch from afar. 😎

  7. Great article HG. I concur RMM is definitely a narcissist. Anxious to see how this all plays out. Then again, I’m always anxious as I’m involved with a narcissist myself.

    1. I’m not anxious to see my distant relative hurt any further especially by a narc. Hopefully she bows out quietly…

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