Sex and the Narcissist

No holds barred and no strings attached

The only unnatural sex act is that which you cannot perform

Read about how the narcissist views and uses sex and how you are central in that

US e-book here

UK e-book here

CAN e-book here

AUS e-book here

Also available in paperback on Amazon

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42 thoughts on “Sex and the Narcissist

  1. Arisa says:

    Virgin girl friend, IPPS, 13 months into relationship and now he keeps talking about sex, pussy and and his dick. Saying how he feels deprived of loving and is being persuasive. He has recently been going on about it alot even though he has been told its not going to happen unless married. Before he was calmly waiting. Has he changed his mind about marrying me, may there be another supply he is grooming?
    He still makes the same amount of effort. But why become more persuasive now? Does he want to make me his conquest and then dump me?
    I’m do give him the illusion of control and be submissive.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      He is seeking to exert greater control, but to provide any specific insight I would require more information and a consultation is the appropriate forum for doing so.

  2. Serene says:

    I have to admit that when I first read this book I was deep in emotional thinking and I read it with the intent of figuring out how to manipulate the narcissist into having sex with me. I figured if manipulation works for the narcissist then it should work for me. The answer must be in the book somewhere. The narcissist must have some sort of weakness.

    Well as I read and read I found my answers. Not the answers I was looking for but the answers I needed to hear.

    What was I thinking? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    Thank God I never had sex with that guy.

  3. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD. says:

    Your welcome everyone….lol

    “I’ve got these calendars”

    1. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD. says:

      I’ve been doing my Lindsey Graham impression all day lmao….

  4. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD. says:

    I loved every moment of this exchange. Cory Booker’s balls lmao! Look at his eyes though and look at his body language. He FEELS familiar.

    1. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD. says:

      “Then apply the rule and bring the charges. Bring it.”

  5. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD. says:

    I believe Dr. Ford. Brett Kavanaugh is full of shit and I can’t stomach him.

    Cory Booker……………..KILLED IT………………::Standing Ovation::

    Now THAT man (Cory) has presence. He radiates…some kinda energy that you CAN’T ignore.

  6. Supernova DE says:

    HG – If a narc claims to never have kept and not to have any photos or videos of you, is he always lying? Regardless of type of narc or IPPS/IPSS/DLS?
    Thank you.

    1. HG Tudor says:


      1. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD. says:

        Well that sucks. LOL

  7. Clarece says:

    Just because Kavanaugh was a virgin when he got married, doesn’t mean he sure wasn’t trying to lose his virginity prior in his heavy partying high school and college days. It is on record that he becomes a “mean, sloppy drunk” and frequently got to that state. Even “belligerent” was also used. Due to his privileged, elitist upbringing with little to zero consequences ever for reckless underage drinking that seemed to get a side wink and nod from any adults who were in charge of him, that Frat Boy swagger left an imprint. And that imprint is what scares me for him to get to be the next Supreme Court Judge. He can’t get voted out in 4-6 years if he does a bad job. I don’t want him at all to get nominated and it has nothing to do with Democrat or Republican. I don’t want this individual who has the ability to view women through the scope of “madonnas or whores” (clearly to me by how he would behave when drunk at parties thru his college years), deciding on cases involving abuse for any victim. In my eyes, he adheres to a “boy’s club” mentality.
    Dr. Ford continually saw Kavanaugh. He was not a random stranger. How many of us remember something vividly from our childhoods or teens that we can still recall with great detail because the traumatic event happened to us and burned into our memory? For the other students on that particular day, it was just another party. That’s why it is easy to be forgettable. I can recall in painstaking detail a day being bullied by girls my senior year in high school and can see each of their faces and my running to the bathroom during the lunch hour so I could sob alone. To anyone else, that random day in May means nothing and they couldn’t tell you anything in particular that stood out to them. It doesn’t mean my circumstances did not happen or that my memory of who said and did what to me did not take place.
    Can you imagine if there was social media and YouTube when Kavanaugh was in college? There would probably be so much distasteful evidence against his character, we would not even need an FBI probe.
    He is being way too evasive about his drinking. He cannot come out and fully admit that he regularly drank to inebriation to the point where he could have no memory of who he was even partying with by a night’s end because he knows if he does that, it will lead to the questioning asking how do you know you didn’t get too aggressive with females? Another statement is out that when inebriated and another male said something that offended Kavanaugh, rather than diffuse the situation, he punched the person. That apparently happened in college years.
    I just think Kavanaugh has the inherent traits of being highly narcissistic without the right amount of empathy or compassion for this position.

    1. windstorm says:

      I agree

      1. Clarece says:

        Thanks WS!!

    2. MommyPino says:

      I would like to hear more about his behavior as an adult before I can give a fair judgement on a person. I believe that scientifically speaking, a person’s personality and character is not yet fully shaped at that age in high school or college. Also, I need to see or hear more corroborative evidence before I can confidently convict someone. Was he a stupid kid trying to gain notoriety among his male friends by bragging about conquests that never happened? It is possible. Is it possible that the accusers are making it up because of political and even possible monetary gains? Yes, it is possible. Is it possible that he really did it? Yes it is also possible. I do not have enough information to unequivocally say that he is a cerebral narc. How does he treat his wife? His kids? Does he have emotional affairs? How does he treat his colleagues? From all accounts, he is a good person during his adult and professional life. I am waiting to see or hear information that suggest pthwrwise. I do respect everyone else’s opinion though. We all have our own.

  8. kiki says:

    HG this one is giving me real nightmares. Fuggy dreams where Narc is appearing .I had to stop reading this one book Im afraid.
    Is this normal or a bad sign for my healing
    Maybe Im sexually messed up , think Ive actually turned fridgid since narc.

    1. wissh says:

      I’m so glad you shared this, I feel the same. I practically inhaled the first 5 books (in no particular order) this is the 6th. I’ve had it over a week and still haven’t finished it. It’s very disturbing, and like you, I’ve also had dreams about my exnarc since starting on this one. I haven’t slept with anyone since the narc so I don’t know how screwed up I am yet, bit I’m thinking significantly. Ugh.

  9. kiki says:

    HG just reading this book now.
    I will admit it is triggering me a lot and I feel a huge rush of anger and even humilation heating up my face and neck as I read , even my hands began to tremble.
    I looked in the mirror and saw hot blotches of red all over my neck .
    That happens to me when my anxiety levels go right up.
    It wont set me back will it ?? I feel very much like lashing out at ex Narc right now but decided to go and do some exercise instead.
    I know you say a lot of your readers think you are their narc , I can see why now.The way you describe the sex in the opening part is word for word the way ex narc did.
    I know you are not him though , your voice is much deeper but sometimes when I read I get very angsty and the things you say are like huge flashbacks.I can see ex Narcs sneering face in my mind and I want to spit in his face.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      No, it may trigger but it is building your logic because it is reinforcing the need for GOSO. Sometimes the medicine will taste unpleasant, but you recover all the same.

      1. kiki says:

        Thank you HG I really appreciate your reply.

  10. wissh says:

    This has been the most difficult one to read so far. Instead of inhaling it in a day, I’ve been at it for three days and still only half way through.

    1. NarcAngel says:

      It may be a tough read for some, but I think it’s a necessary one for anyone intimately entangled. It clears up many questions that keep people stuck and clinging to hope. Im sorry that you are having a hard time with it. It is bitter medicine at times, but I believe you will be better for having read it and it will make moving forward easier eventually. Take care.

      1. MB says:

        NA and wissh, parts of S & The N melted my panties, other parts turned my stomach. More of the latter. It is disgusting how our positive traits are turned against us as a weapon to hurt us in such an intimate way. Betrayal at its worst.

      2. MommyPino says:

        It was a tough read for me too. Some parts broke my heart. I am literally praying for some of the people in the book. The thought of anyone’s spirit being crushed like that is just heart wrenching. But it was really helpful for me. I did not engage sexually with the somatic who seduced me but I have been struggling to get him out of my mind. After reading this book, whatever residual feelings I may have left was totally annihilated. Gone. Even if I see him in public and he says hi, I can say hi back out of politeness to him but with zero emotions now. Knowledge is power!

      3. wissh says:

        Thank you, NA. I still haven’t finished it, but I will.

  11. Nina says:

    HG, would you please comment on Brett Kavanaugh? Does he seem to be a narcissist?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Watch this space.

      1. DebbieWolf says:

        Haha HG…

        I knew it!
        (Brett Kavanaugh)

        And oh boy…Senator Sheldon Whitehouse..He spoke so eloquently on the matter today too.

    2. some chick says:

      I couldn’t watch it. It would bring up too many memories. I read several comments from women that reacted badly. I don’t think I could handle it.
      Looking forward to reading though.

      1. windstorm says:

        Some chic
        I couldn’t watch it either. Just filled me with anger for no good purpose. Not like there’s anything I can do.

    3. Pixie says:

      I’m not HG, but if I may comment?

      I think Brett is NOT and explain why.
      How do you distinguish someone who grew up in the upper 1% of the population of the USA, privileged, attended the most elitest private Catholic Jesuit schools, Harvard, jock, frat boy, can’t hold his liquor, entitled, spoiled brat, only son born to his wealthy parents, egotistical pretty boy from a Narc?

      In this case, I concluded that his wife is definitely an empath and Brett is a product of his white privilege upbringing, not a narc. I believe Dr. Ford was sexually assaulted but not by Brett. Because Brett did not continue bad behaviors into adulthood. And I found Brett’s testimony/demeanor to be genuine emotion. No narc could act THAT good, or could they??

      I hope my teenage exploits don’t come back to haunt me. If the shit I did comes out my reputation is lost!

      1. MommyPino says:

        I agree with you Pixie. He said that he was a virgin when he married his wife, I am waiting for ex girlfriends to say that it isn’t so. I still haven’t heard of any sexual misconduct by him during his professional life. From the things that I have read and seen with other people who are sexual predators, it is not something that you can just shake off easily and is actually something that they keep on doing. I am 50-50 on Ms. Ford, it is hard for me to tell. But the third accuser’s story of a train of underage boys molesting unconscious women at parties seem like a really twisted story that my narcissist mom would make up against somebody that she hates. Just my humble two cents. I could totally be wrong.

      2. MommyPino says:

        Also I have to say that even though he was only 17, I am really disgusted by the remarks on his yearbook. I cannot believe that his school let them publish such garbage. If some boys would do that to my daughter, write that they are alumni of her, I would have a really strong desire to haunt them one by one and shoot them.

      3. K says:

        Based on what I see, I think Brett Kavanaugh is a LMR cerebral narcissist. He used repeated pity plays to evoke sympathy, as well as, the Narcissist’s Twin Lines of Defence: he used deflection repeatedly with Senators Feinstien and Klobuchar and a short ST with Senator Durbin when asked about an FBI investigation (HG Tudor JUNE 29, 2018 AT 09:12 : A sensible question which will not be answered because it’s sensible) and he seemed to have trouble controlling his fury during the senate testimony, also during his high school and college years, he was a heavy drinker. Alcohol is a fuel substitute.

        “Narcissism leads to alcoholism.”

      4. MommyPino says:

        Narcissists are not the only ones who use deflection. Lawyers use deflection too. And many other people who are not narcs. We have to be careful of false causations. Just because Glenda is alcoholic, and narcissits tend to be alcoholic, doesn’t automatically mean Glenda is a narcissit. Also, it is automatic that all narcissists are alcoholic? I don’t think so. My matrinarc was never alcoholic. Anyway, I’m not an expert so I should retire from this debate now. I hope that the truth comes out. That’s all that we all want.

        1. K says:

          By taking into account the aggregate of certain behaviours over a substantial period of time, you can recognize the true nature of an individual and the signs strongly indicate that BK has NPD.

          All of my heroin addicts, alcoholics, compulsive shoppers, gamblers, smokers (4 packs a day) hoarders, overeaters, anorexics, gamers (video) and workaholics are narcissists. I do not know a single individual with an addiction who isn’t a narcissist.

          My twin’s personality was set by age five and he is a narcissist and my personality was set at age five, as well, and I am an empath.

          1. windstorm says:

            While I completely agree with your first paragraph and that most of the people in those categories are narcissists or highly narcissistic, I know some who are not. I am a compulsive overeater, but not a narcissist. I have a sister in law who is an alcoholic, but is codependent(Caveat being my Pretzel MnM doesn’t believe she is truly an alcoholic – she just thinks she is).
            Empathic people can have disorders because of past abuse and trauma. You don’t even have time be highly narcissistic.

          2. K says:

            I agree with you. All personalities are susceptible to additive behaviour, however, it is the aggregate of Brett Kavanaugh’s behavoir that is telling and this includes his heavy drinking during his high school and college days.

            When you look at the whole picture, alcoholism is just another indicator of NPD and I find that my lessers abuse alcohol/drugs the most and become quite belligerent.

            “Brett Kavanaugh got ‘belligerent and aggressive’ when drunk and has not been truthful about his alcohol consumption, friend says”

          3. windstorm says:

            I agree that alcoholism is an indicator of narcissism. That’s why Pretzel MnM doesn’t think our SIL is an alcoholic. She is not a narc.

          4. NarcAngel says:

            I find a lot of people (outside of Tudor Manor) focus on the drinking, with many saying that is not a big deal at that age, we all drink, etc. For me, its not the drinking thats the focus but the LYING about the drinking. If he is lying that vehemently about his drinking (and come on-is anyone naive enough to believe that he never drank and passed out or forgot what he did EVER?), then it is an indicator of other things and what else will or has he lied about? Boffing means farting? Even lied about that. I personally could not care less if he was shit-faced every night. That would have actually been more believable of a frat boy. It would not say to me that he could not have grown out of that and been able to do the job now. Its the lying about it, and I didnt buy those tears for one minute. He was crying for himself and furious to be in this position and having to explain himself to anyone. Thats what those tears were. But its a dual-edged sword – if he acknowledges that he did drink to excess and passed out or blacked out, it will acknowledge that he could well have assaulted someone and forgot. I went into this neutral and without any background btw (just knew there was an allegation but no details) but if she’s lying, she’s ten times the narc he could ever be lol. Having said all of that-I’m sure there are many BKs on the bench and many more to come.

          5. K says:

            Exactly. Many of us drank/or used drugs as teens or young adults but we don’t lie about it. I drank and did drugs and I fucking loved it! The lies, crocodile tears, aggressive behaviour, deflection and the yearbook are all indicative of NPD.

            There is no shortage of HG’s kind in politics. If you get a chance, check out the SNL spoof on BK; it is worth watching. Matt Damon plays Kavanaugh.

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