A Letter to the Narcissist – No. 92



Letter to the Narcissist … and to the Empath N xxx

Let´s face it: from the moment we were born till our last breath, we are in a quest for immortality.  To attain immortality is the ultimate goal of the so called “human life” and all of you, my dear reader, know it in your guts, do not deny it. I am well aware that at first glimpse it would sound crazy to you but I trust the high intellectual level of HG’s blog. All pyramids, rock-cut chambers and mounds (in China, Egypt, the Americas etc.) are facilities to attain immortality. The Ancient Egyptians were not preoccupied with death as modern archaeologists state, but with Life in its deepest sense, a sense that is hidden from our current civilization. All ancient schools – Hindu Yoga, Chinese Alchemy, Christianity etc. actually are doctrines that teach methods to attain immortality. And before you say anything: No, not every human soul is granted immortality after death; one has to work for it while living. The sacred œuvre is called “sacred marriage – hierogamy” and it must be done while in 3D body. But enough theory. I sense I’m starting to lose my audience here.

So let’s bring the topic about the interactions (battles) between the empaths and the narcs to the most subtle & complex level it deserves to be regarded. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but… against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”

Thus the interaction between empaths and narcissists is not as purposeless as it seems. Both teams are disgusted with each other but both have something to learn from this encounter.  Narcs are repelled when seeing optimistic eyes, joy and pure love because they perceive those as signs of weakness; empaths are frustrated with the cruelty and the lack of emotions of narcs. On the alchemical level both teams are considered pupils and teachers at the same time.

In order to attain immortality one must re-join the two earlier separated parts of his/her being – the Soul and the Spirit. The sacred marriage takes place in the heart region. The heart 心 is the psycho-physiological device (organ)  – the caldron, the chamber where the re-union takes place. That’s why the heart must be kept calm. Above all else guard your heart, for there is where the source of life springs. When the heart is not calm, one cannot bear the fruit of the hierogramy – the immortal spiritual embryo, the real Self. When the soul is injured it has no energy to participate in the hierogamy. But if the soul survives the narc-empath battle, it gets out stronger and much smarter.

At some point of his/her cultivation process every narc encounters their significant empath, and vice versa. In the apocryphal literature it is called “Cupid’s sting test”. Actually nobody can pass this test successfully (only eunuchs) and everybody gets a Cupid’s mark on his right hand. If the empath gets out unscathed from the narcissistic abuse, he learns how to parent his inner child (soul) better; when the initial fury settles down, the narc learns that feelings can be used to control the subtle energies of the body. Slowly, bit by bit, the narc adopts some (artificial?) empathic traits and the empath learns to stand up for themselves, to be more self-centered and to love himself more. For Love is the best teacher.

“…and if I have absolute faith so as to move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing…”

It must be said that in the very beginning of the sacred work of pursuing immortality no one (neither empath nor narc) is aware of the importance of the emotions (feelings). It takes time and efforts to fully conceptualize the narc-empath dynamics and its impact on the process of soul education. That’s what makes HG’s blog most valuable. Thanks, HG!

Domo Arigato, Sensei!

58 thoughts on “A Letter to the Narcissist – No. 92

  1. Blank says:

    We are our brain. A small (yet very important) part of our brain is the nucleus accumbens, the dopamine section. We like to use spiritual terminology, like souls, soulmates, eternal, immortal, dharma, and so on . but narc-empath dynamic is mainly about recognition (from childhood) and dope filling your brain when engaging in such dynamic.
    Once the dope is gone, the spirituality mostly disappears as well and then there is just two people left. No more intertwined souls, no soulmates, no spiritual bonding or whatever.

    You were stupid.. he was an asshole, both living in a kind of fantasy world.

    Dope makes you craving crazily. Dope is what gets all people in this world addicted somehow, whether it is to fuel, food, sex, religion, love, alcohol, drugs, chocolate, gaming, etc..
    When the dope is gone, the addiction is gone.

    Oh and when we die, we’re dead. No more brain function. It’ll be all over.
    Isn’t that a relief?

    Sobering biological really.

  2. nunya biz says:

    This is something I’ve put some thought into and have questions about though. On the one hand, I think there is some truth in it. On the other….
    A victim narc can get fuel from helping, supporting, “caring”, but the main difference is the level of control, sometimes to the point of “I will help you whether you like it or not”. A healthy empathic leaning person would have no desire to create upset in another person by doing things against their will. It would simply be an offer.

  3. SuperXena says:

    This was indeed a very esoteric, abstract way of romanticising the empath-narc dynamic.

    The “parenting” and strengthening of the inner child is only achieved through non harmful ways and definitely NOT by engaging in an abusive ,destructive relationship with a narcissist. However, you may realise when you have been in a relationship with one (and you leave), that your inner child has to be strengthened and properly parented with assertiveness and that was probably the reason why you fell into it in the first place.That was your vulnerability.

    Furthermore, staying in / or initiating another relationship with a narc results only in weakening your inner child .

    Seems to me that this metaphysical portrayal of the empath-narc dynamic is a naive attempt to find a silver lining to the absurdity and atrocity of abuse. There is none.

    Very well written piece though.

    As for immortality:
    “” We are such stuff
    As dreams are made on, and our little life
    Is rounded with a sleep.” The Tempest

    1. It Depends says:

      I liked what you wrote and absolutely LOVE how you ended it.

      1. SuperXena says:

        Thank you It Depends.

  4. Lou says:

    HG, is that you in the pic attaining immortality? 😉

  5. amj says:

    I think I want to throw up!
    Perhaps I will just stay numb a bit longer as the reality washes over me..
    I refuse to blame myself .. Love is good.

  6. nunya biz says:

    I love this topic.

  7. It Depends says:

    (Part 7)
    To the Bible thumping religious folks who claim they do not believe in any form of reincarnation. Please explain to me why, according to the Bible, Jesus and his disciples understood that the spirit of Elijah came back as John the Baptist. This is reincarnation. Energy is neither created nor destroyed, it simply changes form?

  8. It Depends says:

    (Part 6)
    This letter implies that narcissists have access to immortality. They do not. They are cursed with foreever walking the earth never being able to be satisfied. Always hungry and never full.

  9. It Depends says:

    (Part 5)
    …”If the empath gets out unscathed from the narcissistic abuse, he learns how to parent his inner child (soul) better; when the initial fury settles down, the narc learns that feelings can be used to control the subtle energies of the body. Slowly, bit by bit, the narc adopts some (artificial?) empathic traits and the empath learns to stand up for themselves, to be more self-centered and to love himself more. For Love is the best teacher.”…

    This is typical new age, let’s all hug bunnies, nonsense. In regards to self-aware narcissists, they only ever learn to become more cunning and destructive. Yes, the self-aware narcissists are intentionally manipulating energies but NEVER for a good purpose. The most elite of them are incredibly dangerous! Think Josef Mengele and his experiments on humans. These people send folks to be killed in wars for reasons like power and money. They send thousands of well-intentioned soldiers to die for their sick need for control, power and entertainment. And I am leaving out the more sick, twisted and perverted sides of their nature. Society, in general does not wish to know the truth in all it’s horror. The most potent form of emotional energy (fuel) is terror and fear. When someone is terrified of them, this makes them drunk with fuel. I have seen this first hand, something in their eyes visibly changes when they are drinking from this particular fuel. What does a self-aware, elite narcissist want more than anything else, to feel POWERFUL. They MUST feel powerful in order to function. “In one respect,” the self-aware elite narcissist is extremely powerful. These people are wealthy, publicly respected and completely above the law and they know it. These people can pretty much obtain anything they desire. In that respect, they are powerful. And dangerous to the extreme.
    Their power only remains when there is an ignorance about their presence and tactics. As soon as empaths become aware of them and their tactics, they become powerless. This is why the self-aware narcissist (normally) hides what they know and why they are terrified of self-aware empaths. They INTENTIONALLY hide their existence! Because, without that protection, they are vulnerable to the extreme. The misinformation that people like Vaknin put out is…intentional. What Tudor is putting out, for whatever his reasons are, is incredibly dangerous to them. He is the first of his kind, to my knowledge, that has ever done so in such a direct and public manner. It is very counter-intuitive to put out information that can destroy yourself. Yet, this is just another example of their recent levels of arrogance. They are beginning to put their real selves on display. This is why the society seems to be getting more sick and perverse. It isn’t, they are just starting to relax and be themselves because they think have gained a level of power that makes them invincible. Their “golden period” with society is coming to an end and now they are beginning to gorge themselves on the negative. Society is the “wife” who is now beginning to see the ugly side of the narcissists.
    As foreboding as all that sounds, it is actually a wonderful event to watch and has been foreseen by the deep thinking and self-aware empaths for a long time. Before society can deal with the fact that giving these creatures control has disastrous effects on society, they must first see the true horror of what they are. Only the narcissists could control this. They had to become powerful enough to feel comfortable with taking their face masks off and showing what they really are. As they do this, in their prideful hubris, they set off the ticking time bomb that self-aware empaths have been waiting for, for a VERY long time. This is why watching these narcissists from a self-aware perspective is so comical and nothing to be feared. We know how to avoid the most dangerous of their kind, we don’t let them or their systems control us and we forever find ways of taking hit and run pot shots at their over-inflated egos. We enjoy inventing more and more ways of snatching their primary and secondary fuel sources out from under their upturned noses. It is an immensely enjoyable past time. We do not make the mistake of letting one into our personal lives unless we have a purpose for doing so and we only closely associate with other self-aware empaths. We do not care about how we are seen by society so there is no way to “ruin our reputation.” Their opinions do not matter to us and thus they have no way of “hurting our feelings.” This mission is the bread and butter of joyful happiness to self-aware empaths who want more than anything, to be a force for good in the world and we can see our actions making a real and tangible difference in the lives of others. We awake each day, with a clear and satisfying purpose. That, is when our happiness, truly began.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are confusing elite with Greater.

      1. It Depends says:

        Not confusing, misusing and I agree, I could have none a better job on distinguishing the nuances between the greater and the greater elite. I’ll try to do better job next time. 🙂

        1. HG Tudor says:

          There isn’t a difference between Greater and Greater Elite as it is not a proper comparison – there would be a difference between Greater Somatic and Greater Elite – both are greaters but they are of different cadres. There is a difference between Greater (school) and Elite (cadre).

      2. It Depends says:

        I have no doubt you are plainly aware that I am well aware of the different schools and cadres, as you call them. I agree that the use of the word greater would have been more appropriate in my post and a basic description of how and why the elite of the greater variety are the most dangerous. Having said that, it really makes no great difference to the truth contained within my post and you, a self-proclaimed greater narcissist, are also aware of that. 🙂 🙂 🙂

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Indeed but I did want there to be any confusion with regard to the use of the relevant labels. I want you to understand and where I see the potential for misunderstanding, I will correct it, to assist you and others.

      3. It Depends says:

        Also…There is an entire world of difference between a lower greater who is not elite and an upper greater that is elite. One is fairly manageable, the other, I would never want to be in the same room with. Thus, I find the comparison quite useful, even if you do not. 🙂

        1. HG Tudor says:

          The difference of manageability is with reference to the school, less so the cadre. LG or UG is the school and both can be elite, which is the cadre.

      4. It Depends says:

        Thank you for correcting a potential misunderstanding…:)

      5. It Depends says:


  10. Vera says:

    I liked this. I have a different view on immortality as a Christian Orthodox and it has to do with salvation of the soul. Now people like HG should burn in hell, that goes without saying. But guess what? It is not us who should give an opinion on this, but God alone. And who knows? He might just save himself with this very blog. Imagine HG before Judgement, wouldn’t you agree this will weigh heavy in the balance? Moreover, it is done with no attachment whatsoever, purely altruistic (now, he charges money too…) or, not with taking pride in doing a good deed – which is how good deeds must be performed.
    What did I want to say? Oh, yes, comment on the letter. Interesting point with the narc and the empath learning from the union’s experience (pardon me, it’s never a union, but an illusion of union from the empath’s side). I, for example, just met a narc, a mid ranger in denial just the other day. Married. Flirting big time with me. It would have ended in bed . But… because I learned from experience, I recognised all the signs and told him to go to his wife. We learn, empaths with narcissistic traits (cmon, we all have them to some extent otherwise we couldn’t survive). Do narcs learn? I don’t think so. I spent a couple of hours with this guy, trying to open his eyes, we discussed his unhappy childhood and so on, nothing would stick. He had one aim: found me attractive and wanted to score. Now, had I not been badly bruised by the experience with a machiavellic narc that I loved to bits, I wouldn’t have recognised the signs. But I do now. The narc I loved, he was so f. at 50 like I was at 16. A cemetery of broken hearts, horrible relationships and lost friendships in his past. Did he learn? No. As rational as they can be they will always need what HG calls fuel, the hunger to be confirmed by others in order to exist. No, they do not learn. Or it must be through a process of profound transformation during which the void is satisfied otherwise, much like methadone is a replacement for heroine. I remember my narc having moments of lucidity – I don’t know if they were sincere or he knew he could win my heart with that – how he struggled, saying he is different, that he wishes to be normal, to have contented normal relationships… I used to say nobody is normal, bla, bla… But yes, he was right. He was another species. He would say he went to the registry to inquire about us getting narried and the same night he would f. some silly woman. Ugly, on top. And many more. At some point, after losing a baby and being trapped in this relationship I banged my head against the wall, I could not stand the torture of this dichotomy. And the guy was 50. They do not learn. I have, but the world after meeting a narc looks like a less hospitable and inviting environment. More like one of those surrealistic sterile paintings or a moonscape.

  11. kelfairly says:

    The flaw with the narcissist/empath is that the golden period is about her. If she wants to keep him, she has to make it all about him during the gp. Narcissists are gullible, and will overlook things if they’re getting the admiration they crave. Hard to do if she doesn’t realize she’s with someone who needs that from her. At the same time she has to respect herself so he will too, and she has to put up with his dark side. It’s funny that the narcissist is the one that starts seeing her imperfections rather than the other way around. He was the mirror in the beginning, he’s the one who changes.

  12. NarcAngel says:

    I have no idea whats happening here.

    1. saskia says:

      NarcAngel, I was silently wondering if I was the only one here..

      I openly admit that I fail to understand both the structure of arguments, the central theme and the overall ‘logic’ in this letter though I usually enjoy reading the different perspectives of the readers that all have their validity.

      My opinion might be taken with a grain of salt though as I, due to the fact that my daily work-related interactions are with mainly physicists and mathematicians, might be influenced by a more evidence-based approach that might be considered as “black and white” thinking in the context of sprituality and esoterism. In my view, the combination of different schools of thoughts, concepts and (some dubious) theories (the sacred marriage, the apocryphal letters, alchemy..) – makes the argumentation vague and nebulous. I fail to find the central theme that leads, from the opening paragraph about attaining immortality as the ultimate goal, to the final conclusion in the last paragraph. “Theory”, which is quite an interesting foundation for any argument in my view, is merely presented in tiny, incoherent bits and citation is not provided with some clear reference – that is where, in my view, the writer might have lost some audience.

    2. windstorm says:

      “I have no idea whats happening here.”

      I’m right with you there.

      1. MB says:

        Me too

      2. NarcAngel says:

        Haha. I suspected I was not alone, so I thought I’d ‘fess up and admit it so others might be relieved. It’s like some forms of art – I don’t get it but I’m glad others are enjoying it.

  13. Renarde says:

    Wow. I think this has to be hands down one of the best pieces of writing I have ever read on here excepting HG’s own words. What I particularly like about it, is that it encompasses the larger ‘world-view’ and does not get bogged down in the minutiae of abuse. Of course it’s important to hold a safe space where people can share their pain but equally it’s also important, to my mind, to discuss the bigger picture from time to time.

    Someone once told me that the best chance of attaining immortality is to become a teacher. Your words and reactions will live in others. In time, they will be passed on. And so forth. Personally, I am looking for Enlightenment, not Immortality.

    I too have also been musing on the concept of the Heiros Gamos, for the last year or so actually. The divine child. There’s lots in your post that speak about alchemical marriages but yet I also note that all the quotations supplied are biblical ones. I find this really intriguing. As a Priestess, the third degree in Wicca is essentially a reworking of hierogamy. I also find it especially fascinating that all of the Wiccan degree rituals involving scourging. Before I really stepped onto the BDSM path, I would read accounts of the scourging and wonder why. The reason given is usually ‘to cleanse the body’. It is usually performed now only in token. I perceive the real reason to be to put the recipient into altered states.

    Funnily enough, when I am with certain Ns (not them all), I am also able to slip into those altered states. I like to work with energy, the basis of N fuel and the energy that exists between the N and the E which forms the basis of the bond. In an N and an E that are not self-aware, well I could see very easily how this could be a negative experience. But to those that are self-aware? I think the possibilities could be limitless.

    “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but… against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”

    I really like this quote but is also sums up awareness. Most people live in the body but there is so much more too it than that. I do believe we are all inherently spiritual beings an when this access to our higher selves is cut off then we lose something vital.

    However, I do not agree with your assertion that all Es are inherently disgusted by Ns. I certainly have been with a few and that’s before I even knew them. I’m fascinated by the Ns and I perceive that Ns and especially aware Ns are fascinated by us too. We become locked in a union, a bond. Two halves of the same coin. Once that bond has been formed between two that are aware, I think it would be difficult if not impossible to break on an energetic level. Between those tat have a mix of awareness, I have much more doubt. I know HG would argue that the ‘crack in the heart’ is where the mix is pored in. I largely agree with this and that forms the basis of why an IGH is likely to succeed. I know in my heart that if any other N I had ever known tried to Hoover me again, resisting would be so easy. Not so though with one – just one. A Greater.

    On the alchemical level both teams are considered pupils and teachers at the same time.

    This is an extremely interesting way to look at it and I would tend to agree. There is another old pagan adage. When the time is correct, the right teacher will manifest.

    At some point of his/her cultivation process every narc encounters their significant empath, and vice versa.

    This was certainly true for me. If I hadn’t met him exactly when I did, I’m not actually sure I would be here now. It was only having this one in my life tat I found the work of Tudor. If that hadn’t happened when it did, I shudder to think what the consequences might have been for my family and I. You go on to say that it take time to fully appreciate the N-E dynamic. It does, absolutely. Couldn’t agree more because the natural first step after self-actualisation (weaponisation) is turning inward to try to muddle through all the prior relationships you have been involved in. It’s only after most of that has been sorted you turn outwards in my experience. Or step even further away from the narrative in order to comprehend the greater picture.

    A fascinating Letter. Thank you for allowing us to read your thoughts.

  14. Pippa gray says:

    The spiritual aspect of narcs Vs empaths really interests me. If you have more information on the initiation or Cupid’s sting test, or can advise on where to find it, I’d very be grateful.

  15. ImmortalOutlaw Goddess says:


  16. MommyPino says:

    And I would like to add, yes this blog is definitely helpful to me. I stood up to the narcs in my life and engaged in battles with them and was successful at hurting them at times. But I learned from Mr. Tudor that the best way to stand up for yourself from a narc is to disengage and GOSO. It really is. Engaging in battles can be so toxic even at times that you score points, but if you stay away and just focus on yourself and on the other people in your life who’s really worth your time then it is a total victory for you. I have minimal interactions with my mom and it is mostly just sending her financial support as a thankbyou for raising me. My life is so peaceful now, no drama. I also did GOSO on my toxic stepdaughters. Life is great so far. Really no drama or anxiety. It is amazing how much improvement happens when the people who keep on putting your self esteem down are removed from your life. Thank you Mr. Tudor! Maraming salamat!

  17. mommypino says:

    I have to say, growing up being raised by a single mom narc, I have learned so much empathy for difficult people. I felt so bad for my mom whenever she got in fights with our neighbors or relatives and they hated her so much. Even though she was abusive with me and I bet if there was only some form of CPS in the Philippines I would have been taken from her, we also had a lot of fun and tender moments and she taught me to be a good person (she doesn’t realize that she is what most people would consider as a bad person) and to get a degree because she only finished 5th grade. I think that she wanted the beat for me even if it is probably because I am an extension of her, I still appreciate it.

    Also tou are absolutely correct, my experiences with narcs taught me how to stand up for my self when needed.

  18. Veronique Jones says:

    I agree with all of this

  19. Leslie says:

    The only reason an empath doesn’t stand up for themselves is because a narc has punished them into stopping it and given some modicum of peace for becoming a thing.

    1. It Depends says:

      Very true…

  20. WiserNow says:

    Very interesting, thoughtful and ultimately very meaningful letter. Thank you very much to the writer.

    The spiritual plane on which the narc-empath “battle” takes place is something I’ve read about and I find it fascinating and also quite informative. The physical plane on which we exist in our 3D bodies is what we rationally “know”, while knowledge about other spiritual planes is speculation, seen fleetingly or questionably “known” by psychics etc.

    It’s interesting that empathic people are more prone to see and feel the “unknown”, or at least to admit to seeing it. Narcs are either not interested or just don’t believe. Is speaking about “other worlds” or the spirit world seen as weak or silly because it cannot be substantiated and therefore the narcissist doesn’t even entertain its possibility?

    I am inclined to believe that both narcs and empaths are subject to spiritual or energy forces and that both are affected by them. However, empathic people are more open to believing, or at least to being seen as believing.

    1. nunya biz says:

      WN, I like the way you describe this. Like others are saying I also would like more info on this topic, the spiritual aspects of the dynamic.
      I agree with the “unknown” part, I feel very much like I can just feel it, the “something else” that is a part of my existence, actually really truly feel it and it both interests and saddens me that people can be so dismissive of it.

    2. It Depends says:

      Religions, unlike spirituality, are control systems created by narcissists to blind the minds of well-meaning and well-intentioned people. It is manipulatively used by narcissists to reinforce their false narratives and maintain the false realities they have created. It has a side perk of being a great way of fleecing the flock of their money. If well-meaning people were not taught that “being good” means loving everyone, including unrepentant narcissists because “their souls need and are worth saving,” do you realize what would happen to narcissists? They do………

  21. It Depends says:

    (Part 4)
    There is a moment among victims who are tortured where they embrace the pain and begin to derive pleasure from it. This is the point that all torturers know, it is useless to continue torturing a person and they kill them. They kill them because they can not gain anything else from them. An awakened and aware empath is very much like this torture victim scenario. We knew the pain, embraced it for what it taught us and now derive pleasure from watching the pain they try to inflict and laugh hysterically as narcissists flail around trying to keep control. 🙂

  22. Airmid says:

    You were not loosing your audience not at all! You had me! This dance was my life maybe always will be. I did not know it was music because it was so beautifully familiar to my soul. I never strayed far from that soul infanct my sin was not to fully incarnate. I never feared what you call death or annhialation for me it is a mere waking up a return home. You however you fear death hg you fear the beast. This was my intoxicating aroma for your kind hj. The closest you ever got to that eon distant memory of your own soul, long disconnected long abandoned in favour of grasping at an illusion which became all you are now. my biggest error my dear teacher was thinking that everyone was like me or could be loved enough and healed enough to rediscover the delicious peace of dissolving in Union to their soul to the light. You my dark knight my poor shriveling shadow fear death in all its forms. Oh yes you chase your fuel. But I was more than that I was your life line. Union with me and my soul was union to you and yours! You fed off many but lifetime after lifetime it was me you sought. I came here for you for some of you for your kind. I’ve come only once and will not be back. Our union was agreed with your beautiful abandoned soul and mine. You soul asked me to retrieve you. You were to teach me too. Teach me to find my power here. At the critical time for you my instincts were to step away or as you saw it “abandon you” it was your moment your time to take the step. I wasn’t gone I was standing above your frail ego with my arms outstretched I was willing you to jump across the chasm. Oh I know for you it was a terrifying leap when you looked down all you saw was him, that creature. I called to your heart to hear me above the lifetime of ego shrouded whales. You played every game you projected your evil mask onto me you abused you tried to trigger every delicate wound only you knew I have and you called to the mother in me the hardest one for me not to respond to. Your little boy valued for my inner mothering. But if I had reached out to pick him up you would have dragged me down into your chasm to keep me earth bound with you. I turned away you howled you sent forth your demons they tore my back…. but my soul is my reality your demons are an illusion…. I will slowly turn around and smile. I look at you in you through you in my power the power I didn’t know I had. The power I thought everyone had access to especially you. You cling to your substandard replacement from me. She grabbed at you while you were screaming for me she spotted you my love one vampire feeding from another. You both try to triangulate me smear flying mommies all your tools. As a union in hell you have teamed up to try to feed from causing me trouble. I shall not dance with you both. You have no music without me only the now mutual dark creatures to consume you with their howls. Hg you know who I am. I know who you are sir. I bow in acknpwledgment of your function. You shake at the scent of your destiny. Could it be she ….. yes the one! I have what you want in a domain you cannot reach. This was your chance you chose fear again! Namaste !

    1. Vera says:


    2. It Depends says:

      Good writing!

  23. It Depends says:

    In order to destroy narcissist’s influence, “mirror” the narcissist!!! It’s fun!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wjAbpRKOuRk

  24. It Depends says:

    (Part 3)
    The hilarious dynamic of the self-aware narcissist and the self-aware empath. The self-aware narcissist is scared to death, of the self-aware empath. They do not have the power or courage to approach such a creature. They are mortally terrified of this creature, they understand that such an empath possesses way more power than they possess. It is humorous to the extreme!!! I have watched them run in terrified cowardice on so many occasions and it amuses me to no end. They do not want this empaths, “fuel,” they want to hide under the rocks in fear of them. They are not powerful enough to possess this creature and it highlights their lack of true power, magnificence and control. Sometimes, I amuse myself… 🙂 🙂 🙂

    1. Renarde says:

      I utterly disagree. Couldn’t be further from the truth in my experience. It’s only the self aware ones who have the capability and strength to mount huge campaigns.

      Time to time an unaware catches the scent and becomes intrigued. They ask me out on dates. I sit there calm and composed. I watch them. They get all jiggly and nervous. Then they run. They sense something…They don’t really know what it is. But they go from being all over it to trying to get as far away from it as possible.

  25. It Depends says:

    (Part 2)
    …”At some point of his/her cultivation process every narc encounters their significant empath, and vice versa. In the apocryphal literature it is called “Cupid’s sting test”. Actually nobody can pass this test successfully (only eunuchs) and everybody gets a Cupid’s mark on his right hand.”

    This is a veiled partial truth. Anyone can “become a eunuch” by abstaining from all sexual activity. Let those who understand what I am saying…understand… and let those who do not…think whatever they will…

  26. It Depends says:

    (Part 1)
    …”Thus the interaction between empaths and narcissists is not as purposeless as it seems. Both teams are disgusted with each other but both have something to learn from this encounter.  Narcs are repelled when seeing optimistic eyes, joy and pure love because they perceive those as signs of weakness; empaths are frustrated with the cruelty and the lack of emotions of narcs. On the alchemical level both teams are considered pupils and teachers at the same time.”

    This, is incorrect. Although the interaction between empaths and narcissists, I will agree, is not without purpose, both teams are not disgusted with one another. The empath is disgusted by evil. The narcissist is simply overcome with jealousy, regarding empaths and life in general. They do not see empathic qualities as a weakness, this is a lie. They are JEALOUS of the power and benefits that empaths possess. Period… On the alchemical level, the empathic pupil realizes that there is nothing to teach a narcissist. They are already dead. Time takes care of their disposal. The empathic pupil comes to understand that they simply don’t need the dead and that holding onto and trying to fix them is impossible and is an assault on life itself. This frees the empath from them. Completely. They are yesterday’s has-beens, of no more importance or significance than the flies we swat with a flyswatter. They simply do not matter in this life. The pupil outgrows the teacher and in their freedom, surpasses them in all respects. Narcissists are the ouroboros, consuming themselves until the point comes, when their system and actions, perpetuate their own self-destruction.

    1. Jess says:

      “Both teams are disgusted with each other but both have something to learn from this encounter.”

      They are absolutely disgusted with each other’s sources of validation or fuel. It’s instinctive and a gut reaction for both. In fact, everything about the entire dynamic is instinctive behavior based on humans history. I’ve felt the fear of being left out in the cold which, earlier on meant that we would probably die. We both need the validation so that we know we exist.

      When I see MRN evoke sympathy and pity from others it revolts me. “Ugh” From my perspective, they are perfectly capable, smart and bring their problems on themselves….it’s disgusting. My recent Nex was visibly grossed out by my history of having more sexual partners than him and my friendliness in public. Both casual sex and talking with others are fuel for me, build my self esteem and quell feelings of loneliness. Empaths want to be the one the narcissist comes to when they need a sympathetic ear so that we are fueled by helping, healing, and fixing. We feel left out otherwise.

      1. It Depends says:

        Tudor has written a wonderful booklet on the difference between empaths and co-dependents. I highly recommend it…

    2. Vera says:

      Love your comments. Yes, jealousy seems to be the engine, I experienced that and it was so damn difficult to understand. My, again, Orthodox theory, sorry for that, is that narcs are very weak people in which the devil can operate at will.

      1. It Depends says:

        Thank you very much. I like hearing your theories as well. You will probably reject this next sentence but I”ll mention it anyway, in the off chance you might be curious. The stories from antiquity of angels and demons, in every culture, is one of allegory hiding in plain sight. Narcissists “are” the demons of the stories…

    3. DebbieWolf says:

      It Depends

      Very good read….all parts.
      Food for thought…enjoyed your comments, most interesting.

      1. It Depends says:


        Thank you so very much! I’m glad you enjoyed, People like yourself are the very reason why I enjoy writing!!!

      2. DebbieWolf says:

        It Depends

        Cannot reply on your correct comment below this no reply button…
        Just to say thank you for your reply etc…. regarding how you enjoy writing…since then I saw that I enjoyed your comments even more as you added even more titbits..
        Good interesting reads.

  27. It Depends says:

    Wow, this posting was a surprise to me. Full of profound truth mixed with ignorant babbling, it requires comment. I will formulate a comment on it today and tomorrow and post more of my opinionated rhetoric. Just about the point that I become almost bored with the postings here, I am delightfully surprised to see something deeper pop up out of nowhere.

  28. Christopher Jackson says:

    Wtf…well said

  29. Jess says:

    A good read for sure. It occurred to me today that both sides are disgusted by the other’s method for obtaining validation. Much to be learned.

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