Exposed – 5 Further Ways To Flush Out the Narcissist



Here are five further opportunities to flush out whether the person you are interacting with is potentially one of our kind.

  1. Ask which parent we liked the best

The Lesser will launch into an uncontrolled tirade about the one he hates because that is the one that has made his life a misery since childhood. He despises that person and will relish the opportunity to share his vitriol with you.

The Mid-Range will not opt for fury but rather will speak in melancholic terms for the purposes drawing some kind of sympathy about how he misses a particular parent (one will be preferred over the other and this will be the one who he wanted to love him but did not) and he will describe how he does so much for this parent but is underappreciated. He will not actually choose one parent over the other but instead he will use the question as an opportunity to convey his woes.

The Greater will tell you that his parents died in a car crash, or left the country, or that he was abandoned as child purely for the purposes of gathering fuel from you and making him appear to be a troubled soul, whilst every time you look in the other direction he will be smirking. When you eventually meet his parents he will use your bewilderment at their appearance to make a joke and display how he loves his parents immensely. This is all show. He actually wishes they were dead.

The Normal will not pick one over the other usually, but if he does, this will be done after emphasising the good points of both parents so that one only just shades it.

  1. Ask what our favourite toy was during childhood

The Lesser will recount a tale about how his favourite toy was broken by a parent, a sibling or stolen by a supposed friend. The rant he will engage in will seem like this toy was hugely expensive and that the event happened yesterday.

The Mid-Range will most likely point to a board game and remark about how he won every game that he ever played and may even admit to cheating at the game. He will answer this question quickly, as if it is something that is often at the forefront of his mind.

The Greater will dismiss having played with toys and will explain how he was too busy studying, playing sport or chasing girls. Indeed, there is every chance that he will explain he was doing all three. He does not want too many reminders of childhood because the memories remain painful and all too clear, not that he will admit that to you. He will instead ask you about your favourite toy.

The Normal will smile and identify something which will be straight-forward and simple but he will speak about it with fond enthusiasm.

  1. Ask when did we last cry

The Lesser will relate it to some personal slight that he has suffered. It will not be because he was upset about someone else, but rather that he was upset for himself. He will not be able to provide a precise time.

The Mid-Range will profess it was as a consequence of a sad film or on seeing some campaign to help blind gay whales find their parents. He wants you to think he cares and is compassionate so will align his supposed crying with such an event. The reality is he cried when he thought his last supply was leaving because he felt bad for himself and he knew that turning on the water works is a sure fire way of stopping the departure and garnering sympathy.

The Greater will say that he does not cry. He will be proud of that fact and not wish to mask it. He will then ask you what makes you cry and make a careful note of what your answers are.

The Normal will explain it was when his grandmother passed away, when his dog died or when Bambi’s mother was killed by the hunter in the film. It may also be when his team last won the championship or when he was re-united with a long lost friend.

  1. Apply a gentle criticism to us

The Lesser will reject the assertion and argue that you are wrong. He will initially keep a lid on his ignited fury because this has been done during the seduction but if you press the point he will erupt.

The Mid-Range will fall silent as he tries to prevent the criticism from igniting his fury. He cannot respond because he is exerting his control to keep his ignited fury under control. Once he feels it abating he will either change topic pretending that he never heard it or he will depart from your company for a few minutes as he regains his composure. Say hello to your first, short silent treatment.

The Greater will smile and laugh. The smile will be false and the laugh hollow. He has plenty of control during this seduction to prevent his ignited fury from manifesting. Expect however a back-handed compliment later in the interaction and he has filed away your comment which will be revisited on you during devaluation.

“Remember when you said you did not like this tie? I certainly do. Well, Louise loves this tie and thinks it suits me. Who is Louise? Wouldn’t you like to know?”

The Normal will smile and laugh it off, asking you “Do you think so, why do you say that?” interested to know why you have said what you have said. He may reject it but will do so pleasantly or he may take the comment on board with good grace.

  1. Observe our interactions with a minion

The Lesser will go out of his way to be haughty and demonstrate that he is the boss in order to try to impress you.

The Mid-Range will be charming and pleasant in order to draw fuel from both you and the minion. His obsequiousness will be noticeable and he will spend more time than he ought to deal with the minion.

The Greater will be flirtatious and point out that “They love me in here because of how much I spend, I always get a great table and great service.” It will be all about how great he is and how the minion is there to serve him.

The Normal will be polite and have minimal interaction with the minion because he will be concentrating on you.


19 thoughts on “Exposed – 5 Further Ways To Flush Out the Narcissist”

  1. I have asked a couple different people that I suspected to be narcissists what their favorite toy was as a kid. One said, “that’s a good question I’ll have to think about it.” I mentioned my favorites and he liked what I chose, yet didn’t elaborate. The other just said he couldn’t remember that far back.
    I’m trying to decide if they were purposely avoiding the question and if so, would this place them leaning towards the Greater category?

    What would be another question to ask or the proper way to work this one into the conversation so it gets answered?

    1. This is not something once can answer based on one question more information would be needed. See the two exposed articles for further questions.

  2. See what I mean? What pointless, useless information. You’re so clever. Flush out a Narcissist ..
    Seems you’ve run out of meaningful content. Some empaths know what you would relish and will show and tell you what you can do to achieve it to their own demise.

    But you were too chicken shit when you may have had an opportunity.

    Speaking of, more than two of us have come to a conclusion about you. It has never been more clear.

    P.S. Zoek er ergens anders naar.

  3. Aside from being a turn-off, a narcissist will not be self-conscious about this because to do so would be an admission that you have the power to reject him. Someone who is just a bad speller will show humility by being self-deprecating about it, or ideally asking for help. I once invited a narcissist (as yet unidentified) to a family gathering. He had a penchant for swearing and telling dirty jokes. My family is very proper so I warned him not to do this around them so he would make a good impression. He became very angry with me, uninvited me to his own upcoming birthday party, and painted me black for a few months, leaving me to attend events alone that I had planned on going to with him. He had also promised to help me with a household project and left me to do that on my own as well. I got punished for suggesting that anyone had the power to reject him or that he was unattractive in any way. What I asked for was simply basic courtesy to his host, but for a narcissist, submission to anyone is impossible and such a request will be seen as unreasonable. (Of course he began talking to me again a few months later as if nothing had happened.)

    1. Kathy, wasn’t that classic???? In the VEEEEERY beginning it’s subtle (HG= salami slicing). It’s not until you’re bestowed with a full on week of a silent treatment that you begin to think that perhaps something is amiss? #neveragain

      1. I thought the idiot just needed space to “think”. Now I know it is the coward’s passive aggressive maneuvers.

  4. “….seeing some campaign to help blind gay whales find their parents.” I just can’t……

    A dry sense of humor is the *sexiest* sense of humor!

  5. Hello everyone. I have a scenario for HG: I have only been on the site for 9 mos. or so, read many books, bear with me.
    I surmise that two of your kind would be unlikely friends. Unless they worked well together as predators, picking up women?? I have good reason for asking . . . do people with NPD ‘instintively’ avoid spending time with others with NPD?

    And what of the empath? Do we feed off each other

  6. Thank you so much Mr. Tudor. These are brilliant! I’m not going to use these to screen out dates since I’m already married and so will never date again, but these tips will be great when I go back to work to figure out which ones that I work with I can be friends with and which ones I need to be careful with.

  7. I’ve found lack of accountability to be a typical early warning sign. I have two degrees in writing-related fields. When I’m talking to a man in a written medium and he spells poorly and is not remotely self-conscious about it (i.e. does not joke about it, does not proofread) I know that he is not interested in impressing me.

    Most of the narcissists I’ve known have hated school, unless they were the teacher’s pet. Most of them received grades far below what they were capable of because they could not stand to subject themselves to another person’s judgment. By far the brightest narcissist I’ve known personally was a C student and resented the A students for getting all the attention, though he could have done as well himself. He also cut class, no doubt as a way to assert control over his life. All of the classes he wasn’t good at were “stupid.” Asking how they feel about their boss has a similarly revealing effect.

    Narc Friend would also complain to me about his parents’ many expectations for him. When I asked him if these expectations still weighed on him as an adult — as they would to some degree for any normal person — he explained that he doesn’t care about his parents’ expectations at all. There are more examples, but the trend was apparent early on.

    1. Michelle,
      I agree about the spelling. If a guy simply types and sends it without proofreading his messages to me in a consistent basis, I stop answering. If he does not know the different between there, they are, and theirs and if he tells me that he “had went” somewhere. I disappear. Words have such an impact on me that I can’t sustain illiteracy. I am an avid reader. Yet English is not mother language. I know I still make some mistakes.

      1. Or, when he can’t express the difference between to, too, and two. But yes, there, they’re, and their are the real kickers.
        I edit menus and billboards. I’m OCD about it and can’t help myself. I majored in English, go figure.

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