The Igniters of Fury – No. 16

IGNITER16

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78 Comments

  1. You’re reaction cracked me up, HG! 😝
    They make dog toothpaste in both chicken and liver flavors. I hate brushing dog teeth, but for some dogs it’s necessary or they will get gum disease. Thankfully with my three dogs now, denta sticks to chew on seem to be working.

  2. Se que había algo raro en las mascotas, no sabía lo que era. Era algo que no puedo definir aún que es.
    Era combustible barato al empezar el día. Era la forma perfecta de triangularme.
    Hacerme sentir celos de un perro. O como acariciaba a su gata y la cuidadaba , mientras que a mi ni me tocaba.
    Si un perro no fuera suficiente , quizas dos perros y un gato.
    jajajajaja

  3. I’m sorry – I don’t get this. If someone has a pet, I see it as a bonus!

    My ex-boyfriend who I lived with several years ago had a dog (“The Notorious R.I.T.A.”) and I think he was jealous because his dog preferred me! Haha.

    She and I had some fun adventures!!

  4. My cat TJ was there for me. And the narc was nowhere to be seen. He told me he had a dog one time named Annie. He told me he treated her like crap.

  5. His dog was his best friend. I think because it was the only thing he could actually control and master. He was the sweetest most well behaved dog. Clearly well trained by the “alpha” (insert eye roll here).

  6. Got a call from him at work one night telling me I had to come home my cat was laying on the sidewalk dead! Through my dog down a flight of steps! Dumped a beer and cigarette ashes in the fish tank along with my watch! I could go on and on! But I have a date with a bottle of Jack! Have a good weekend ladies!!

    1. FM1T
      Jesus. I don’t even know how to respond to that except to say that I’m sorry that you and the poor animals were ever in his sphere. How does he figure into your life now? (if at all).

    2. What a piece of shit! What a horrendous person, foolme1time! I was seeing a guy once who told me he didn’t want to come to my house because he didn’t like dogs. I told him “Well, since he lives here and you don’t, I guess you’ll never come to my house.” Next!

        1. Lisk
          You think a dog’s mouth has touched more filth than a narcissist? Not to mention the other parts. And your dog will never give you an STI.

          1. Well there are a lot of Dirty Empaths around NA, so I guess we are touching a lot of filth aren’t we?!

          2. I’m kidding too, HG. I couldn’t care less. You will hardly ever see me stirring up conflict, or offended by anything said here.

          3. HG
            Haha, and who made them dirty? Chicken or the egg?……I brushed my dogs teeth regularly (but also never kissed them on the mouth). Not all narcs are as diligent with the Listerine as you are was my thought.

          4. There were 2 dogs and of course I brushed their teeth. I am after all a Super Empath and thats what you like to see isn’t it? That we go the extra mile? Have I graduated to NL (Next Level) Super E?

          5. NA, I also brush my dog’s teeth. And I agree with you, before I got entangled I was not a DE so my dirtiness is a direct consequence of being with a narc, the narc being the cause, the dirt the effect. That, provided I am an empath which we still don’t know. If I am a normal, can I still remain here, pleaseeeee?

          6. Please stay SP! We haven’t gotten together for that drink yet. And hey, there’s nothing wrong with normals! No judgment. I’m married to one myself.

          7. Have I been sleeping or is the star by you name new? Not that you don’t deserve a star of course!

          8. Where is that? Anyway, I am the star so there does not need to be one by my name.

  7. Seems I commented too soon when I commented shot my cat in number 15! lol Though to be honest, I DO compliment and praise her all the time so that’s why she ended up there vs here.

  8. Which empathic trait is your dog, lol. Dogs love narcissists. But since pets can’t talk, they’re easy targets for a narc maliciousness. Don’t trust a narc with a pet, it’s awful. Usually pets will forgive them (if they survived it), just the same as we do.

  9. Yeah, my ex husband decided they took too much attention from him. The problem is he had bad knees. It would have been unethical for me to put the collar and leash on him and go for a walk. Funny I still have that reoccurring dream where I drag him behind the car.

  10. True. My mother wouldn’t allow any pets, even though she had a kennel of German Shepherd Dogs and bred Siamese cats.

    And I sure triggered this one with my Pretzel. In addition to an indoor dog and cat, I bred mice, Zebra Finches, Canaries and fish, had a guinea pig, cockatiel, hermit crabs, snails, wolf spiders, blue tailed lizards, a huge iguana, box turtles and the occasional baby possum (not all at the same time, lol!).

    Plenty of fodder for his criticism. But he never killed or got rid of any of them. He was probably more tolerant than a normal man would have been, because he just didn’t care. He was actually fond of the dogs, cats and iguana. But he surely did use them all to criticize and ridicule me on a constant basis.

    1. The solution was right in front of you! Pet food. Every person should serve a purpose, be useful, give back to the world. Some just need to be food!

    2. WS, my mom never allowed any pets either unless they can be guard dogs. But we had lots of chickens and ducks because we can cook them and harvest their eggs. But no animal was acquired for just for the sole purpose of being a pet.

      1. MommyPino
        That’s sounds very similar. We lived on a farm and always had cattle and also hogs when I was small, and at least 15-20 grown GS dogs in the kennels. They weren’t “guard dogs”, but any intruders – human or otherwise would set them all off like a giant alarm. I learned the difference in the sound of their barking for what type of intruder it was.

        We also killed animals for our own food and of course sold them for other’s consumption. If I could pin my decision to stop eating meat on any one thing, it would have been the fate of “Clyde.”

        One time we had twin calves born and their mother was unable to nurse them. Mama (MMR) named them Bonnie and Clyde and we bottle-fed them and keep them in the barn. I, of course, did much of the feeding and cleaning up after them and being a lonely, only child, played a lot with them. They were like big, silly dogs to me. We brushed them out everyday and halter-broke them. They were like pets.

        Then the day came when a truck took them away. Bonnie, being more valuable as a cow, went to the stock yard to be sold and never return. Clyde, however, went to the butcher’s and came back frozen in dozens of small white paper packages. These filled up our deep freezer and we ate on Clyde for over a year. Mama would even refer to the meat by his name – “Clyde’s steaks are so tender!”, ect.

        Mama surely got malicious, negative fuel from how upset those comments made me. Little did she realize she was pushing me to vegetarianism. It was always a massive criticism to her, a beef-cattle farmer, to have her only child become a vegetarian. Remembering the ugly look on her face every time she was reminded of my food choice always makes me smile. 😁

        1. Windstorm
          I can relate as I’ve told the story before of Horace the turkey who ran around our basement before he was murdered and I refused to eat him. I struggle more and more with eating meat because of my love for animals. I have kept it compartmentalized all my life. As long as it’s in a package I can do that for the most part, although there are periods of time when I abstain (usually when something has been too easily identifiable or I am bothered by something I’ve read or seen), but I always return to it. Why do they have to be so damned delicious?

          Last night it was -19C here and inside my home I heard a dog barking for a long period of time. I finally put my gear on because I thought someone had abandoned a dog close by. I tracked the sound on foot through a schoolyard to a house several streets away (my husband heard me leave and followed in the vehicle). I was prepared to bring the dog home if I could because any owner that would do that would not be a caring owner (even if that meant tresspassing if they were not home and taking the dog from the yard). I called Animal Protection and they came to investigate because I located the house (no answer) but could not see the dog. We (along with the AP officer) got access through a neighbours yard to finally see that the dogs (2) did have access to an enclosed (but unheated) structure, but would come out an howl in the storm for someone to come. AP put a notice and will return to visit the pos owners. I advised AP that if the owners would forfeit the dogs that I would take them and find them a home. This took place over 3 hours in -19 blowing storm.

          Long story short (too late lol). I’m in a soup only eating period now.

          1. NarcAngel,

            Is it *lentil* soup!?

            Seriously, though, I’m glad you looked in on the dogs. It’s been in the minus 40’s here with the windchill. Unless a person owns a Husky (or maybe another spitz breed) who thrives in the cold – no dog should be out in such weather for very long…I have seen people here walking their little lapdogs.

          2. NarcAngel
            -19C. I had to look up a conversion to Fahrenheit. Damn that’s cold! It’s -15 here right now which is really cold for us. When I tried to sit outside last night to watch the lunar eclipse, my little idiot was out scratching at the gate and barking his head off trying to get to me. He might have called human protective services if he’d been able. I had to go back inside before totality ended, because I was afraid he’d get frostbite.

          3. Windstorm
            Windchill was -27 today. You know its cold when the snow squeaks underfoot. Glad you got a snowday!

          4. NarcAngel
            Snow days = surprise gifts from God!

            You know, I’ve been thinking a lot about my little dog. He’s seen me sit outside and stargaze, meteor watch, moon watch many times and he’s never gone nuts like he did the other night. I’d just assumed he’d stay in the house and maybe watch me from the window. But he went out the dog door into that bitter cold, barking frantically and scratching at the gate – he’s never scratched at the gate before.

            I think he looked out the window and saw me sitting motionless out there in that bitter cold and was afraid I would freeze and he was willing to freeze himself to try to get to me to come back inside where it was safe. He was sooo relieved when I came in, then exhausted and stayed curled up in the bed by me the rest of the night.

            I guess I’d never expected that level of love and devotion from him – he’s such a fun-loving, mischievous sort of dog. I sort of feel like I’ve discovered a precious gift that I was unaware I possessed. I feel very blessed and it reminds me that our lives are filled with precious gifts we overlook and never appreciate.

            I’m sharing this with you because I believe you will understand. Most people I know wouldn’t.

          5. Sweet P
            I was just deciding I liked you (especially after mentioning David Sedaris who makes me laugh out loud almost as much as HG) and then you go and pull this bitch move flaunting the heat. HG is right – people always let you down……

            Ba hahaha

          6. NA, I love Sedaris. My favorite David Sedaris story is the beginning of “Dress Your Family in Curdoroy and Denim” when he tells about he and his mom imitating that pretentious woman who bragged at the store by saying “my house… well,… one of my houses…” I decided I loved it so much that now I always introduce my stories as “my ex… well… one of my exes…”

          7. Sweet P, I love you girl but you gotta shut that shit up! 70 degrees! You’re killing me! 🌴

          8. Don’t worry, MB, NA. In not too long I’ll be trapped in Dante’s first circle of hell, aka, JFK.

          9. NA, I’m glad I’m not the only one that compartmentalizes food vs friends in order to eat them! I always feel bad about that if I give it much thought. Same as my Narc addiction. Why do they have to be so damn delicious?

            It was so precious of you and your husband to go out in the storm looking for those poor animals. Some people have no business keeping pets!

          10. NarcAngel
            I’ve been thinking this morning about what you wrote about compartmentalizing…

            I have the ability to focus totally on one thing and exclude all others when I’m working on something, and that’s sort of compartmentalizing, other than that, I don’t really compartmentalize at all. As I wonder about it, I think my Pretzel MnM broke me of doing it.

            You know we’ve been together basically since I was 16. Over the years he would always point out to me whenever I was blocking something out of my mind that I didn’t want to acknowledge or acting inconsistently in any way. Then he would ridicule me for doing it (That was one of his favorite fuel-gathering tactics).

            He seemed to consider it a form of self-deception, which he equated with lower intelligence. “Only the stupid believe their own lies” kind of thing. Of course if I wasn’t deliberately stuffing it, that was just as bad because then I was obviously ignorant of reality.

            Now I’m not saying that compartmentalizing means you’re stupid. He does it all the time and sees it as a useful mental tool to focus your mind on the problem at hand. But I think a lot of people use it to lock away unpleasant truths that they don’t want to face (what he ridiculed me about).

            I decided decades ago that I did not want to do that – ever. I wanted to recognize and face all those unpleasant truths, analyse them and resolve them in my mind somehow. And is my custom, I probably overdo it. I suffer a lot of mental anguish constantly seeing these unpleasant truths in my life. But I really like to think I see reality and do not lie/trick/deceive myself. Of course, that could be self-deception…

            I guess the point of this mental ramble is it came to me today that this aspect of my personality is a result of a lifetime with my Pretzel. So many important aspects of my philosophy and attitude (that I consider good things) are the direct result of interactions with my father, my Pretzel and my FIL – all of whom were highly intelligent narcissists.

          11. WS, I learned to compartmentalize as a survival mechanism for my extreme anxiety and panic attacks in my mid twenties. If I don’t put things away until I can deal with them in smaller chunks, I would be an emotional train wreck and unable to cope.

          12. MB
            We all do what we believe works best for us. I’m glad your way works for you. I have always suffered from panic attacks, anxiety and depression, too. If I compartmentalized stressful things, maybe it would have helped me with them, also. It sure is stressful to keep staring them in the face!

            My musings to NarcAngel we’re not meant to imply I’d found a better or more successful way to deal with things. Just that I’d realized that my personal refusal to hide things away was a result of living with my Pretzel. It is not easy or maybe even sensible to other people. It is just part of who I think I am. I embrace the person I’ve built of myself over my lifetime – including my insanities and eccentricities!

          13. I know what you meant WS. No offense taken. Compartmentalizing was my way of learning to cope with anxiety although I didn’t know what it was called. I still do it to the point that I actually forget sometimes that I’ve tucked things away. I’ll miss a deadline and realize I might have tucked that a little TOO FAR back in my mind. Oops!

            At least it helps me understand the whole “shelving” thing and I don’t take it personally. Ha ha

          14. NA, sometimes I think my grandkids are so cute I could eat them. I wouldn’t of course. Maybe just a bite.

            I’m glad you checked on those dogs. I feel so bad for the four legged friends that get left out in this cold. Some people are not responsible enough to own animals.

        2. WS, I teared up reading about Clyde. 😥 I can’t eat my friends either! I am the ultimate hypocrite. I eat meat because I can buy it in the store or a restaurant and call it food. If I had to kill my own, I’d be a vegetarian.

          1. MB
            It is different to eat one if you’ve looked them in the face. I’ve just looked too many in the face, interacted with them and learned their personalities. Now I see the ones I knew in my mind whenever I see beef or pork.

            I think for me, it’s their personalities. And they all have one. Even chickens have distinct personalities that you can tell apart from other chickens. It causes me pain to eat anything that I know had a recognizable personality.

          2. Plus you can eat them when you get bored of them. It’s a winner winner chicken dinner!

          3. You wouldn’t believe what I did to save my chicken’s life. However it was too late. You may be amused as much as the insemination!

          4. You are wide open today, HG! There was no chicken choking or masturbation involved. Let’s just say there was an egg lodged and I endeavored to retrieve it.

        3. Windstorm,

          Thank-you for sharing your story of Clyde. It’s always makes me sick to my stomach to hear similar stories of the pets in lives of children…I just think that having a pet in a lonely, abusive situation can be such a source of comfort for a child. And I heard – more than once – similar stories to yours where a child befriends a ‘food’ animal and that *particular* animal ends up on the dinner table…when other ones could have been eaten. It this a thing with narcissistic parents? Because I see a common theme…

          I’m sorry for what your mother did to Clyde and how it affected you – it truly was malicious. And I totally get your satisfaction with seeing the look upon your mother’s face in response to you being a vegetarian.

          I didn’t have quite that experience regarding pets but I could never make sense of why, as a child, EVERYTIME something stressful happened in our family life; we had to get rid of our pet. It was always under the guise of “it’s best for the animal” or the animal went to someone else who needed a ‘companion’…as I look back I think was I not a child too, who needed a companion? This particular pain stayed with me for years; I did not get a pet because I believe once you do it should be a life commitment. Finally, when my lifestyle permitted it; I got a cat. You could say he was my longest relationship. He hated both my narcs, he was known to bite at times… and would actually target my mother’s legs when she had been drinking. He didn’t bite me as I learned to read his body language and warn him not to before he could barely even think about doing it. I would put him off my lap or in another room – he would get sulky and resentful and twitch his furiously in annoyance. But he learned not to bite me.
          At one point or another, both my narcs attempted to get me to get rid of him. I got rid of the narcs and kept the cat.

          1. WhoCares
            Good choice! I always have a cat. They’re not loving like dogs and are very narcissistic. But they are both loving and loyal in their own way. Plus they keep down the mice!

          2. Windstorm,

            I agree. I grew up with dogs and still love them but I’m firmly in the cat camp now. My cat and I essentially healed together. I find them to be loving but proud, complex little beasts.
            And that they keep down the mice is a definite perk!

      2. Windstorm, that made me sad. I don’t eat meat either. And if I could and my husband didn’t think I was crazy, I would rescue all the abandoned animals and allow them to live with us and cozy up and watch Netflix together at night.

      3. Windstorm,

        I just saw this. I’m sorry I missed your response, I have been having problems with WordPress I think for about 3 weeks now. I don’t get notifications of replies to my comments. So I manually go to the blog and check if I remember them. But I don’t always remember all of the comments that I made.

        I’m sorry that I asked you on a separate thread if they made you kill an animal in your cattle farm. Now after reading this thread and your story which I wasn’t aware of when I asked that question I realized that it was insensitive. I’m sorry about what happened to Clyde. That was really cruel of your mom to provoke you in such a way. I have a story similar but much more disgusting so I will just refrain from sharing it. I’m thinking I should filter some of my stories that might not be mainstream for the people who are not familiar with lifestyles in developing countries.

        I think that empaths are life givers and healers so it is not in our nature to kill or destroy even if there is a practical necessity for it. But the practical necessity of killing the animal is different from the cruelty of taunting you and mocking the bond and attachment that you had with Clyde, there’s no good reason for it but just purely to get a reaction from you. I’m sorry that you experienced that.

        It is fun to grow up in a farm. We moved to a rural area when I was around 8 and moved back to Manila when I was about 14. I so much loved growing with animals, they are so simple and pure. I feel more closer to myself when I am around them. I am now living in a rural area here in Cali and I love it. My husband is an animal lover too so I finally get to have the pets that i have always wanted when I was a child. We rescued three kittens that we found on a ditch. I had a beautiful White German Shepherd which just passed away last year of old age but my kids got to play with him. My dad loved German Shepherds the best so that’s why I got one for myself and I can see why he loved them. They are so smart, dignified, beautiful and gentle to little children. We just loved that dog so much. And he also got along with our cats.

        1. MommyPino
          I didn’t consider your question insensitive at all and answered it earlier. And as to the difference in third world countries and the USA, I just sent a memory from when I was a child that most people would never associate with the United States. Cruelty and injustice can happen anywhere.

      4. Windstorm, you had hogs as in pigs? Us too and they are so adorable! We only had a small pig pen so we could only take care of up to two at a time. I used to clean the pigs and the pig pen and I loved watching them scratch their backs against the wall. They are so funny and cute.

        1. MommyPino
          We raised hogs, so we had grown ones and the occasional litter of pigs. I was very small then. What I remember most was how incredibly smart the grown hogs were. They are actually more intelligent than dogs and very independent, which makes them very difficult to keep contained and devilishly difficult to catch and get back in the pen when they escaped! Grown hogs, particularly boar hogs, can be mean and dangerous since they are both very smart and massive, with long tusks.

          I stayed mainly on our farm, but occasionally my father would take me to a nearby town. I will never forget driving into this town, before they had such a thing as public housing. Down one city street I saw a huge number of what looked like our corrugated-tin hog pens. They looked like they’d been thrown up haphazardly. They had no windows and open doorways with blankets hanging down like makeshift “doors.” Clothes lines stretched from pen to pen with colorful clothes hanging. Little children my age played naked in bare dirt in front of these “pens.”

          When I asked Daddy where the hogs were and why children were playing in the hog pens, he explained to me that those were their houses and those children lived there. I was horrified. I asked, “Why would anyone want to live in hog pens crowded together like that?” He said that they were poor and that’s all they’d ever known.

          It wasn’t many years before subsidized, public housing came to that town and all those horrid pigpen-like shacks were bulldozed away. But I will never forget seeing those children my age, living in those “pig pens” and playing naked in the dirt.

      5. Windstorm, I looked it up, it wasn’t hogs that we raised although they both belong to the pig family, we raised swines or domestic pigs. They’re the cute pinkinsh pigs. We buy them as piglets and raise them up to a certain point but not up to it’s full adult size. We sell them then to the real farmers and they will be the one to raise the pigs to its full adult size which is really big.

        1. MommyPino
          Hogs means swine or domestic pigs. We just had the adult ones and bred our own piglets. Feral hogs are the wild ones.

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