Jealous of Your Contentment




Granting you contentment is part of our design when we seduce you and grant you the golden period. The provision of your contentment at that juncture in our entanglement provides the luscious positive fuel to flow in our direction and all is well. We truly do delight in seeing you content with the illusion that we have woven for you. It is when you and us move into the stages of devaluation and discard that we regard your state of contentment in a wholly different manner,

During devaluation if we witness you appearing content, we are overcome with jealousy. Why should you be allowed to sit there satisfied, happy and relaxed? Why do you not suffer the repeated unease of the desire to gain fuel when those supplies become low? We look across the room at you, your features composed in an expression of peace. The envy rises and we despise the fact that you are sat in pleasant repose, seemingly all at ease with the world. We invariably associate that your composed appearance is achieved in order to annoy and frustrate us. You know don’t you? You know that we have this churning fury inside us which shifts and slides. You know that we have the growing hunger for fuel and how this creates a restlessness in us. You know all of this and yet you sit there, revelling in our discomfort. If you cared you would not be enjoying that book, talking on the ‘phone to a friend or watching your favourite television programme. No, if you loved us properly then you would be ensuring that this restlessness was banished and that our sense of power and might was reinstated. Your content state is being bandied about in front of us, teasing and provoking. You are mocking us because you are achieving something that is denied to us at that time. How dare you behave in this manner? How dare you forget about our needs? This is symptomatic of the selfishness we knew you possessed and now you wave it in our faces suggesting that somehow we are inferior to you. This will not do.

Your contentment at this stage amounts to a provocation and is tantamount to a criticism of us. You have achieved contentment whilst we experience restlessness and you know this don’t you? Oh, we know that you will pretend to be unaware of what you are doing, but we know your game. We are not fooled by these protestations of innocence so when we fling the dinner plate to the floor, shattering the plate and silence, causing you to jump up in fright, you knew it was coming. The plate lies broken and your contentment in one swift move is similarly smashed. You are not allowed to be content unless it is by our say so. We want you on tenterhooks, your nervous eyes looking to us for approval and consent. Exhibit any sign of being relaxed, at ease or content and we will take action to destroy that state in an instant. We will pick a fight, create an argument, call you a name, break something, interrupt you with an insult walk out and slam the door and so many other actions all designed to remove you from your contented position. When we see you like that, you remind us of what we cannot achieve at that time and we hate you for it.

It becomes worse when the relationship has ended. Whether you escaped us or we discarded you, there will come a point when we turn our sights on you again in order to extract that wonderful hoover fuel. It may be weeks or months later but we will have been undertaking observations in order to determine the most effective way of hoovering you. If we see you getting on with your life, radiating happiness and an air of contentment it infuriates us hugely. How dare you seem happy without us? You are meant to be broken and distraught, that is how the aftermath is supposed to be. Admittedly, it usually is, but every so often we may find that one of our victims has seized the power and advanced his or her position, forging through the emotion and formulating their recovery. It may be the case that we have seen you on one of the few good days, the bad days taking place where the world cannot see, but that does not matter to us. Should we witness you looking well, smiling, having lost weight, or looking fitter, dressing elegantly, meeting friends with laughter and smiles it wounds us considerably. You seem to have forgotten us. You are bound to us, forever, have you forgotten that this is the case? You are at our beck and call until the day either of us breathes our last, yet here you are striding across the street, hair glossy and styled, posture confident and uplifted and meeting somebody with a kiss and a broad smile. This was not meant to happen. You exude contentment, a confidence that we thought was shattered and unlikely to be rebuilt for some time. How did this happen? Who has caused this transformation from the sobbing wretch we left without so much as a goodbye to the contented person we now look at from the shadows? It may be a one-off, it may be a glimpse of something that is a work in progress, but such considerations do not matter when we see it. We are wounded by this display. You appear to no longer need us. Where is the stooped figure? The haunted individual with dark-circled eyes and pallid skin? Where is the comfort-eater that we mocked so horribly? Where has the lank-haired, nervous shuffling person we tormented gone to? This was not meant to happen. Ever.

Seeing you so content post escape or post discard is a massive criticism to us. The lesser or mid-range of our kind will most likely slink away, regarding this show of strength (temporary even though it may be) as evidencing somebody with defences high and radar warily sensitive. Any hoover would be doomed to hoover and might even result in further injurious harm. No, the lesser or mid-range will retreat and return to the new prospect that has been acquired and other sources of fuel and make a mental note that a hoover at this juncture is unlikely to meet with success. The Greater of our kind will seethe and glower, dismayed and wounded by this peacock performance. Unseen, we will send baleful glares your way as we formulate a way to pierce this shield of contentment. Schemes will be concocted once again in order to hammer this contentment into nothingness. The Greater may, if sufficiently motivated, spring forward and unless malign actions for the purpose of drawing negative fuel, preferring to adopt such a tactic rather than seek to draw the target back in. It is time to lash out and destroy rather than capture. Our fury is ignited and our calculating minds will ascertain that this can only be a veneer. It is far too soon for you to appear to content again, no matter how much it appears genuine. We want to halt the recovery before it gathers any more momentum and thus the Greater will unleash a savage malign hoover, smearing and hurling insults, dredging up those historic vulnerabilities in order to break the contentment again, just as we did those many months ago during devaluation. The ignited fury drives the Greater forward to shatter, break and destroy and if successful, then he or she knows that further malign assaults can be rolled out to cripple the recovery. Once the recovery has been derailed, the contentment eradicated and the veneer of confidence stripped, then the golden period can be dangled again before the quivering victim.

It never does to see you contented. This is why when we see it during devaluation you will suffer and adverse reaction. Following the cessation of the relationship it wounds us considerably and will generate a certain response dependent on the type of our kind that you were entangled with. The maintenance of contentment is indeed a blow against us.

11 thoughts on “Jealous of Your Contentment

  1. Nina says:

    Mr H.G

    I posted yesterday evening for the first time in your blog, but I see that my post does not seem to have appeared.

    Is there any problem that I must correct?

    I would really appreciate if you could take the time and answer me.


    1. HG Tudor says:

      Please see the rules with regard to moderation Nina and welcome to the blog. Your comments will eventually appear.

  2. Kellie Mccoey says:

    Female narcissist will hate you for your contentment too. I’ve had women hate me for no reason at all. Never done a thing to them or met them before in my life! They just hate the sight of me.

    1. mollyb5 says:

      Kellie Mccoey ,

      I sense that too. But if a woman is content herself and calm inside she won’t give off that woman hater vibe. I’m not sure if it’s narcissm when I feel this from women strangers ?

  3. Ali says:

    This frightens me, it wasn’t a Hoover but he drove by making sure I saw him to intimidate me. He had papers served on him for court so surely he wouldn’t do anything stupid now.

  4. Joanne says:

    This brings me such great pleasure. I enjoy knowing that my contentment would bring him frustration and resentment. I did not chase him when he withdrew. I would not exhibit desperation. I did not know what he was at that time but it’s never been in my nature to respond in that way. I simply took my fuel and withdrew myself. Of course, on the inside I was shattered to pieces but he would never know it. I was careful not to put on too much of a peacock display though, knowing he was still observing me. I knew enough not to provoke any kind of rage that might incite a potential smear to my husband after seeing me “too happy.”

  5. DoForLuv says:

    Oh wow now I understand why I always ended up blocked I always look happy everything done Hair make up nails . I go out for dinner just enjoy life. 😂

  6. Nina says:

    Hello, it is the first time I post in your blog. I find it very interesting and informative.

    I had a complicated relationship with a narcissist during 10 years. I am not sure whether I had been discarded or I escaped according to his view. I terminated all things on my part at August 2016. Since then I had no interference with him, except a viber call by mistake on my part 4 months ago while I was trying to block this avenue also. A year ago he sent me flowers in my birthday but I responded nothing.

    In my case I diagnosed him 6 years ago while in the relationship after a terrible treachery he committed towards me( I had not been devalued until then) .

    We both are high ranked in medical science.
    He realised that i figured him out and he provoked me to tell him why I distanced myself . I told him what i concluded about him.
    He very eagerly and proudly admitted that he is a high functioning narcissistic sociopath. He told me that he viewed his lack of conscience and remorse as superpowers.

    His first grand Hoover was executed a little later that day by him crying while confessing to me about his internal demons and about how he tries to keep his internal badness and aversion towards humans in control by trying always to organise everything and keep absolute control in his environment. He asked me to return to him that day while I knew ( he had told me ) that he had already secured a new IPPS.
    I never accepted this (to become his side dish) but it took another 5 years to totally disengage myself from this situation.

    I classified him according to your writings as an upper greater. So, why he admitted that to me while you say that your kind never do this??
    He revealed to me a lot about himself and how he functioned..He used the word ” battery supply” as you use ” fuel”. So, why he exposed himself to me?

    Thank you in advance

    Sorry for language errors , I am not native English speaker


    1. HG Tudor says:

      Welcome Nina, no need to apologise for your English, you made yourself clear.I recommend a Narc Detector consultation to establish if he is a narcissist and if so, what school and cadre because from the information you have provided (which admittedly is not as full as it could obviously be) I do not regard him as a Greater and his admission was bot a true admission but the blameshifting 9albeit subtle) of a Mid range narcissist. I can explain this more fully through consultation if you wish.

  7. mollyb5 says:

    I see and feel this from my narc and my family. If I laugh or am easily amused . …I look younger than my sisters …they don’t want to stand next to me ….ever . My narc likes hearing comments about me that are positive …but he will later put me in my place since I don’t make as much money as him …or other women.

  8. freedgypsysoul says:

    “It never does to see you contented. This is why when we see it during devaluation you will suffer and adverse reaction. Following the cessation of the relationship it wounds us considerably and will generate a certain response dependent on the type of our kind that you were entangled with. The maintenance of contentment is indeed a blow against us.”


    I am zen

    He….is not.

    Too bad for him that he can never achieve the inner peace. 🙂

    I love this post, just recently read it in ‘Jealousy and Joy’ and it spoke to me on so many levels. It also provides many more great reasons to continue on in the healing process post-disengagement (just to piss him off)

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