What Your Smile Means To The Narcissist

WHAT YOUR SMILE

I just love that special smile of yours. I know that the first time I saw you displaying it that I wanted it for myself. I wanted to be the recipient of that smile and I wanted it so badly, oh so very badly that I went for you with ferocious determination. I watched as it slowly formed, your delectable lips twisting upwards and then parted to allow your teeth to be seen. Many animals bare their teeth as a warning to others to stay back, but not you. As you revealed your teeth and your smile widened into a grin I watched transfixed. I could see the effect it had on those near you. I could see how they felt happier for seeing your smile. I detected it in their faces, in their reactions and if I had been close enough I have little doubt that I would have been able to hear their pleasure and joy as you allowed them to bask in the warmth of your smile. It was inclusive. You showed it to everyone sat around that table and nobody was missed out. You did not break into laughter. That would almost have been vulgar and spoilt scintillating effect of the way you conveyed such emotion to others near you. I continued to watch from my position across the bar as the words of whoever it was I was with that night, I cannot recall now, became nothing but white noise. I only allowed myself to hear her expressions of irritation at how I was distracted by you.

I made my excuses, feigning illness and dispatched whoever it was I was with, I cannot recall now, in a taxi with an already broken promise to call whoever it was, I cannot recall now and once that person who I cannot now recall had gone I returned to the restaurant. I positioned myself next to your table, sat at the bar and allowed myself to eavesdrop on the conversation that you were engaged in as I allowed myself a closer examination of your smile. It appeared frequently and never diminished in its brilliance. It was engaging, captivating and I had to have it. With customary ease I allowed myself to join your table once the dining had been concluded on the pretext of making a point arising from something you had said. I had already established from the body language around the table that none of the attending men were accompanying you and the behaviour of the other women indicated they were no more than friends. No ring rested on your wedding finger and you responded to my polite intrusion with a brief flash of that smile. I knew the drawbridge was down and the portcullis was up.

Accordingly, I made your smile mine and how I revelled in those perfect lips as they moved into that glorious smile. I had known fuller lips but yours were certainly not what I would call thin. Your left cheek dimpled when you smiled broadly and thereafter I knew that your smile was only truly for me. Yes, you smiled for others and I was proud of you for doing so, allowing them to experience it but only at a fraction of what was reserved for me. I was the sole recipient of the full magnitude of that smile and its amazing effect. You conveyed so much to me with your smile. The times you smiled at me in supportive admiration as I held forth at dinner parties, your appreciative smile when I did something for you, the sensual smile when you knew that our sexual congress was looming, the amazed smile when I stunned you with yet another example of my brilliance, your satisfied smile when you lookedat me across the living room from where you were reading a book, safe and content in our world where your smile was mine and nobody else’s. I relished seeing your sleepy smile when I turned to you in the morning and gently kissed you on the nose. I delighted when you contacted me using your video capability on your ‘phone and you deliberately showed only your smiling mouth. Countless times I would record you doing so and play the footage back when I sat alone and relished the sensation which washed over me as I watched.

What made your smile so special was the fact that you gave it willingly to me. You told me that nobody had made you smile as much as I had. I took no issue with that for I knew it was something that I was entirely capable of. Your sweet, illuminating smile belonged to me, was engaged for me and existed just for me. I worked so hard to ensure that your mouth gave me that smile again and again and again. It sustained me and invigorated me, turning a moment of weakness into one of edifying strength in but a moment. I can truly say that nobody else has had a smile which has such an effect on me as yours. I saw what it did for other people and I knew that they were only experiencing a small percentage of what I felt because the true power and radiance of that smile was kept just for me because you understood me, you knew how I needed it and you were content and delighted to provide it to me. It was a beautiful smile, a beguiling smile, an admiring smile, a playful smile, an engaging smile, an enticing smile, an uplifting smile and so much more but above all else it was your special smile. Special for me.

Most of all though I cherished your smile because better than anyone else you knew how to hide everything behind that smile. I knew this is what you did and I knew he began teaching you to do so all that time ago. I made sure  that you continued to use your smile in this way. I completed your learning. Now it cloaked everything that the world did not need to know about. I made your smile extra-special didn’t I?

29 thoughts on “What Your Smile Means To The Narcissist

  1. veronicajones1969 says:

    HG if you really want our smile why go to such lengths to take it away?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Fuel.

  2. Bubbles 🍾 says:

    Dear Mr Tudor,
    The weasels upper teeth on one side of his mouth, were missing, when we met
    He rushed about getting them fixed after he saw my teeth (paid by the govt of course)
    He may have a new set of chompers, however, he’s still ugly and his smile will never be “genuine” like mine

    Fascinating to know how much our smile means to you ….thankyou for the heads up
    Luv Bubbles xx 😘

  3. Lou says:

    The lady in the image here makes me think of Karen, your ex girlfriend HG. Does she resembles her?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      To a degree, Lou, yes.

  4. Bubbles 🍾 says:

    Dear Mr Tudor,
    Interesting you should write an article on “our” smile
    Having viewed your Instagram, it intrigued me to reread your Birthday related article again and the “The creation of unusual milestones”
    To see you “in play” during the “golden milestone” is most fascinating, based on and in conjunction with your teachings, particularly from a greaters perspective
    Thank you for allowing us into your private life ….. this just became real
    Your lovely lady L would be “smiling” like a Cheshire Cat with your generosity
    Did she have a family/friends celebration as well and were you invited 🎉
    Luv Bubbles xx 😁

    1. HG Tudor says:

      She has had dinner/lunch with friends also. I did not attend as I was about other matters and it does the ladies good time to time to be ‘modern gals’together without us chaps being there.

      1. Bubbles 🍾 says:

        Dear Mr Tudor,
        Haha … I wholeheartedly agree … we treasure our “gal” time
        Have you “met” said family n friends at this point of juncture in your relationship
        Kindly
        Luv Bubbles 😘

      2. MB says:

        HG was the main topic of conversation at the girls’ lunch to be sure!

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Fucking A!

    2. Alma Jazzmin says:

      This lady will eventually become a victim. There is nothing to thank about. As we see this pictures and cheer Mr. Tudor, we are becoming witnesses and co-participants of his plans. Mr. Tudor is totally aware of what he is doing and what the end will be for this poor Norwegian (perhaps from Bergen?) woman. The narcissist doesn’t to put limits on their behavior: the more they get, the more they want and all because of their need of power and control. Look at R. Kelly, he had it all and now… boom! The whole world knows what he is and what he has done. The magic thinking of the narcissist makes him believe he can get away with everything but magic is nor real and “det som er skjult i snø kommer opp i tining…” (what is hidden in the snow, comes forth in the thaw).

      1. HG Tudor says:

        The Shieldmaiden is not some poor woman, I would not have entered into a relationship with her if she was poor or weak. She is a highly intelligent, perceptive, beautiful, kind, sensual and high-achieving lady. She is neither a fool nor a victim.

        1. NarcAngel says:

          HG

          “The Shieldmaiden is not some poor woman, I would not have entered into a relationship with her if she was poor or weak. She is a highly intelligent, perceptive, beautiful, kind, sensual and high-achieving lady. She is neither a fool nor a victim.”

          I’m sure what you say anout SM is true. Perhaps some of our confusion or believing SM’s fate will be no different stems from the fact that we assume (when questioned and at the time of your engagement with them) that you would have asserted these same things about your previous partners also. It feeds any negativity and/or belief that her fate will be the same because you have not pointed (in our eyes) to the thing that makes you believe she is different and that will cause this outcome to be different. Can you pinpoint what sets her apart from the others in your view to a successful outcome? Otherwise it just sounds like a case of infatuation with a new and shiny toy to us. That you have (gasp) succumbed to Hope.

          1. HG Tudor says:

            It is a combination of what she possesses and what I also now possess which means this dynamic has entered pioneering territory NA. You are entirely correct to make the observation that it first ‘smacks’ of infatuation premised on previous approaches. To detail the distinguishing features would take some time and is best left to the content of an article so I can be more expansive. Your observation is valid and I can confirm there are many distinguishing features on both sides.

          2. MB says:

            HG, “To detail the distinguishing features would take some time and is best left to the content of an article so I can be more expansive.”

            Please write the article, Sir. Please?

          3. NarcAngel says:

            HG
            I appreciate your most considerate response to my observation. I very much look forward to reading what you have to offer in future on this pioneering territory and the distinguishing features on both sides.

          4. HG Tudor says:

            You are welcome NA.

      2. Alma Jazzmin says:

        She will be… accordingly with your own teachings. You are inflatuated but you cannot help it, you will need your white and black, your negative fuel. Will you show a picture of her hair covering her knees when she begs for your love under the devaluation? Because you don’t love her now, and you will not love her in the future either. I don’t doubt she is a wonderful woman (all we are) but that will not be enough for you. That’s reality, and a fact preached by you.

  5. Anm says:

    Today, I had mediation with my daughter’s father. In the state I live at, mediation is where you go to settle a court case with a mediator. The mediator doesn’t report to the judge, but has access to court files. Also, no attorneys are allowed. My ex does miserable without his attorney. We we’re supposed to state our accusations of one another to the mediator so she could help us negotiate. I didn’t state any accusations, because I felt there was no point in stating these accusation to a mediator, and that a narcissist would use the appointment to argue instead. He spent a good 15 minutes with accusations, and pulling out evidence to show the mediator-even though it was pointless (she is not a judge). I could tell that she was a bit concerned with all the things he was accusing me of. However, after a while, I could tell that the mediator could tell he was a narcissist. He was projecting, blameshifting, asking if we could do mediation once a month because he is so concerned about my parenting-more like he cant commit to a schedule, and wants the entitlement to change things up all of the time . It started getting bizarre in a dark comical way. Out of no where, the mediator and I just started busting up laughing. The session was just so weird. Then my ex started raging, and yelling at me for laughing. “You think this is a joke? Laugh away! I’m leaving!” I stopped laughing, but to regain control, he threatened he was going to ask for me to have supervised visits with our daughter, and the mediator then decided to end the session. My smile and my laugh has a lot of energy to it. I gush with fuel when I smile. I shouldnt have done it in front of him. He just looks sharp into my direction and plots how to remove any happiness from me. He wants me miserable like him.

  6. mommypino says:

    As usual, narcissists try to make everything about them, including our smiles.

    Nobody can take my smile from me or reasonably take any credit for it. My smile is a gift that I give to someone or to myself. I give it to somebody to make a connection, to make that person feel good, at ease, feel accepted or acknowledged. I give it to myself to make myself to uplift my mood or confidence. Even if it’s just a little Mona Lisa smile while I’m doing laundry, it still helps improve my overall mood.

    I don’t hide anything in my smile. I don’t smile ‘in spite of or despite of’; I smile ‘because of’. I smile because of the beautiful person sitting alone across the room because of her language barrier. I smile because of the beautiful person working hard at the cashier line. I smile because of my beautiful husband coming home from working hard all day. I smile because I have a roof over my head and I have everything that I need. So if you’re a person who has cause me pain or hurt, you’re not even in my thought process when I smile. You’re not a part of my smile, not even one iota.

  7. kellydns says:

    Ouch! Much was made of smiles during my ensnarement, and it appears it is again with the new victim. My smile is also one of the biggest hang ups I’ve been left with, after him telling me many times I have ‘smackhead’ teeth. I absolutely don’t and I wish you could see the state of his, I’ve been told I have a megawatt smile, as you described here! Thank you HG, although this one got me right in the feels it has clarified something I’ve been avoiding dealing with. I think you have flicked my smile switch Mr. Tudor, thank you so much. About time I bared my teeth I think…

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are welcome, good to know it has assisted you.

  8. Mona says:

    My narc always tried to find out the special secret behind that smile. He did not find a lot because there was nothing to find. No special secret, no extremely deep psychological wound. (There were wounds but not as bad as his wounds were). Probably that is the reason why he stepped back in the end. No possibility to control through hurt and damage and probably the reason why I do not love him anymore. No bonding through trauma possible.

  9. Alma Jazzmin says:

    The narc in my life made several comments about my smile during the golden period: “I love your smile”, “I love to see you smiling”, “I was delighted seeing you laughing today”, “your smile is so sincere and wonderful”, “I love to make you smile”, “It is so beautiful to see you happy”. I thought it was sincere. It is heartbreaking to know he was seeing my vulnerability through my smile and taking advantage of that… to. A further reason to stay NC. Thanks Mr. Tudor.

  10. S says:

    Hello HG,

    May I ask this question, please;

    – What is the best way to help the children who are living with a narcissist parent?

    Am talking about a situation where one of the parents is a narc, in the case that I want an answer for, it’s the father. The children who are still young are expected to behave like an adult. Also, they accept the blame for everything. They suppress a lot of what they want as children, but sometimes they secretly do it, such as eating certain kind of candies or watching certain type of cartoon in TV, they do it secretly because they are expected to behave like adults all the time.

    So, what is the best way to help them? I try to treat them as other children in their age and they like it, it affect them positively and they are touched by it. However, they feel shy as soon as someone else (especially someone who knows their father) come around.

    Any thoughts?

    Many thanks in advance,
    Your thoughts is always valuable.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Hello S, this is a detailed matter. I need more information with regard to the behaviour of the narcissist, the age of the children, the extent of influence of non-narcissists in the scenario and I have significant amounts of information to convey. Accordingly, this is a matter best addressed through an audio consultation.

    2. Anm says:

      S,
      Almost all narcissistic parenting is like that in one way or another. I think the best solution for that is to maximize your time with your kids in anyway possible, and present healthy behavior for your kids. I am currently in a protracted custody case for my youngest, and I still worry about her; but my oldest son, is 8 years old now, he still has a rough time at his dads-gets anxiety before his visits, but he is doing really well in life, and I think he is going to be fine

  11. mollyb5 says:

    This one is very sad to me …it hits home .

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