I have always used the love letter as a method of building my connections with my target. I first started at school when one would write a short note and pass it across the class to the object of one’s affection. With a sideways glance I would watch as she would open the piece of paper up and smile before nudging her friend sat besides her and both would look my way with a smile and a giggle. Ah, from such acorns did my prowess with the billet-doux grow.
Those early ‘romances’ which in truth lasted little more than a month or so before we moved on to someone else gave way to the first proper girlfriend and then more meaningful correspondences sprang up. I remember during the Easter holidays in my penultimate year at school I engaged in an exchange of letters with a young lady who lived in a village a little way from where I lived. She would write a letter and I would receive it the next day. I immediately wrote a reply and she would receive it thenext day. Back and forth our letters went. Of course we had no such thing as Instant Messenge or text messages. E-mail was in its infancy and was certainly not something that was used from home. I remember she wrote on light green paper placed inside a green envelope. It certainly stood our when it arrived on the doormat in the morning. I of course responded by writing (no use of typewriter or word processor back then) on crisp white paper of a decent thickness which would be folded into a third and inserted into an envelope. I still have her letters along with all of the others that I have received. Once in a while I will lift the box from on top of the wardrobe and sit and rifle through the contents. I have no real interest in the content or returning to those moments, I usually do it in front of my current partner in order to provoke a reaction from her.
Those early letters exchanged that Easter began as exchanges about what we had been doing each day, talking about other friends and then began a mild flirtation. We ended up as girlfriend and boyfriend after the letter writing. This earned me considerable kudos with my peers since the girl in question was held up as one of the most desirable in the year (although looking back I suspect much of that was to do with the fact that she arrived in our first year well-developed for her age). I recall when we went to watch Platoon at the cinema on of our dates she told me,
“You are not my usual type. I usually go for older boys but I loved what you wrote to me. Nobody has done that before.”
Whilst I cannot of course lay claim to be the only person who has written a love letter, it became apparent that it had become something of a dying art. I do not mean silly notes in class or something that resembles little more than an extract from a diary. Instead I am referring to the sweeping, grand, romantic proclamations of love and desire. Vulgarity is not allowed in this poetic pieces of literature, instead should one wish to express a physical need for coupling then the application of euphemism and analogy came to the fore.
I honed my craft corresponding with girlfriends from university.Invariably we came from different parts of the country and therefore during holidays we wrote to one another. I used this as an opportunity to sharpen my skills and polish my prose. The upshot was that thereafter although there was no real need to write to one another (we lived in the same place or even together) the production of a love letter left on a pillow or placed by a prepared breakfast on the dining table worked magically as a method of seduction.
I had a template of about five differing types of letter and have used them on several different ladies. I would copy them word for word with suitable alterations mutatis mutandis to cater for differences in appearance or demeanour. These crafted missives were powerful indeed. They created strong connections between my target and I. The content was such the lady in question would always be swept off her feet and of course when those loving words became barbed and thorny, she would retreat to where she kept them and weep over the beauty contained in those first letters. Knowing that these letters would be clutched in a shaking hand as the tears rolled down her cheeks however weeks down the line was edifying indeed.
I still use them. In a world governed by technology, text speak and the immediacy of communication, the provision of a hand-written billet-doux has a tremendous effect.
19 thoughts on “Love Letter”
If I look past the truth of the article for at moment….
Siiiiiigh. To receive a handwritten old faschioned love letter. How grand that would in be.
Seems like ages ago and I’m really not even that old. Dying art indeed Mr. Tudor, and missed by some of us. Well the narc free version a least.
Love letters were missed by some of the non- narc-free as well
When reading, I was remembering my first real sweetheart, back when letters were handwritten and we only had landline telephones. He was so sweet. Still a good man today. Married to my childhood friend as fate would have it.
I grew up back when letters were all handwritten and all phones were landlines, too. I only ever had one “sweetheart”, though I never would have thought of him in those terms. He never wrote any letters to anyone and certainly not love letters. Lol! That’s just something I’ve never experienced. I always did love to get letters from friends and relatives though. I’m glad you have that pleasant memory!
The most meaningful, heartfelt, heartbreaking and saddest letters, I believe, were written from soldiers to their loved ones back home …..so precious and pure gold
I have a letter (my mum kept for me) from a male “friend” over 50 years ago … his cursive writing is exquisite …..it’s such a pleasure to read (2 fullscap pages) …… who would do that these days?
My mum also has all her letters from her past loves …. it’s like going into the archives and taking a trip down memory lane (along with trinkets, photos and pieces of Victoriana) (there was no mention of sex) ……so polite, so respectful and so genuine
I agree Nymphedora…. ..a beautiful art and tradition sadly gone
Luv Bubbles 😘
Dearest HG: Can I see a sample one of your love letters????
This is an interesting insight into your past HG. It sounds like you always liked to write and were motivated to use writing in various ways to attract attention and to gain what you wanted. I’d guess that not many young boys (or young men) are so inclined or motivated to take the time and effort to get quality stationery and write eloquent messages to a girl they’re interested in.
To me, it suggests that you enjoyed writing from a young age and you were also confident in your writing abilities.
When you were a teenager and young man, before you were aware of being a narcissist, can you remember how you felt when writing notes and letters to a girl you were interested in? At that time, what were your feelings? Why did you feel motivated to write letters to those girls? Did you want friendship and intimacy, or attention, or were you showing off, or did you feel what you thought was love?
“The content was such the lady in question would always be swept off her feet and of course when those loving words became barbed and thorny, she would retreat to where she kept them and weep over the beauty contained in those first letters.”
This part stuck out to me because I used to do this–whenever times were rough between me and the narc and I had not heard from him in a while, or if conversation between us was scarce, I would go back and read the older messages he sent to me…..the lengthy ones that had such massive meaning.. It would help me preserve my positive feelings for him.. I literally have all of our text message threads from 2015 onward saved on my computer, and pretty much all our phone calls from 2015 onward saved as well.. I could remind myself of all the good times we shared; all the inside jokes and laughter; all the things he said he felt about me; all the insight into how things were between us for the past few years…..
But I don’t..
I choose not to go back and dwell on the past because it is not my present reality.. I literally have a near perfect timeline of the progression of our relationship to read and listen to at any time.. I must put this to use somehow.. Maybe I should write a book or something..
Dear Mr Tudor,
Your eloquent love letters would be keepsakes forever I’m sure….same as your books .. haha
I don’t do love letters
All my cards are plain and I write my own words … I can’t handle all the mushy ones and most are overkill ….. yuk !
Mr Bubbles is the same …. it’s ironic …I bought my valentines card a year ago for the other day and Mr Bubbles just before valentines …. both cards had the same colouring and near same same, but slightly different ….howz them apples ?
For me, actions speak louder than words …..prove it !
Sweet article … thank you 😊
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
Ps … my mum told me she used to give my step dad sickly sweet cards because he liked them and it boosted his ego … not because she meant it …. it was obligatory
The weasel gave me a few cards…. friends forever…. blah blah blah 🤢….what a load of rubbish … Mr Bubbles n I had a chuckle and straight in the bin
Oh the synchronicity! I had missed this post last night, just seen the notification in my email because, ironically, I had just written a lover letter myself to someone. I often talk to him about how difficult I find the whole dating scene. How much easier it was, more straightforward the way we had it before. Letters and the landline. Relationships that are always ‘on’.
I saved my love letters too and I used to get incredibly excited when one lay on the mat at my parents house. Like HG, my partner at the time was at university (which seemed almost impossibly exciting anyway). He was an excellent correspondent. He ended it with me because he was struggling to cope with having a girlfriend so far away and the fact I was in a pretty much a constant state of anxiety that I might lose him, somehow. Of course we can all guess what was going on there… I digress.
It’s a lost art. It’s been decades since I received one. Receiving one now would still be a big deal. You know, you can tell HG is a Greater precisely because of his selection of paper. The ones I got from my ex-husband and the other chap were always on lined A4!
HG, I read this post through the eyes of a newly enlightened Shieldmaiden. A woman who has just been introduced to the work of her perfect boyfriend. I’ve been imagining “discovering” your work this way for some time.
She can’t know about “HG”. It will devastate her. It’s gone too far.
Platoon was 1986. That’s 33 years ago!
The Battle of Hastings was 1066, nearly 1000 years ago.
When Platoon was playing in the movie theater, I was 13. The Battle of Hastings was probably at least two lives ago. Not sure who or how old I was at that time.
Two lives ago? Good God, how long do people in your family live? 500 years old?!!
Ha ha HG! Not a believer in reincarnation I presume? I could’ve been in your family back then! Maybe we are long lost sisters who mourned their husbands lost at war. There’s a connection somewhere. We are all connected in some way. No such thing as coincidence! (I heard that! “Bollocks” you said under you breath.) ❤️ You!
Oh yeah, and an MB fun fact. Platoon was one of the first movies I saw it with my boyfriend too. The same man I spent last evening with and all the other days in between.
Think about that for a moment, HG. What if you had been with Ms Light Green stationery since then?!?
She would have turned to Ms Black Stationery.
Just imagine it HG. Same light green stationery everyday and every night with no other color for 33 years! Can a man like you even countenance such a thing?