Sadistic Streak

sadistic

You could be forgiven for thinking that all of our kind are sadists. From your perspective, much of our behaviour, if not all, makes no sense and therefore it could be argued that to behave in the manner that we do must mean that we are all sadists. That is an understandable proposition. After all, if one day a person is kind to you and then the next is nasty to you when you have given them no reason to behave like that, then surely such behaviour is sadistic is it not? The behaviour has no grounding in any logic, the nastiness is manifesting just for the hell of it, is it not? Are we then not deriving pleasure from your hurt and discomfort and therefore that must makes us sadists?

A true or pure sadist is one who derives pleasure from the sadistic act. This often manifests in a sexual arena in that the act of sadism is acted out in a sexual engagement or the sadist becomes sexually aroused from the sadistic act (which may not be sexual in nature). Accordingly, a sadist may derive sexual pleasure from flagellating a bound and gagged individual. Similarly, a sadist may become sexually aroused from murdering the pet kitten of someone else.

Those of you have familiarity with my works will understand that fromm the narcissistic perspective, what we do is not done solely for pleasure (indeed we do not experience pleasure or joy) but rather it is done for the purposes of gaining fuel. It is our need for fuel which is the driver behind all of our behaviours because the emotional response of another provides us with the validation that we desperately require to fill up the void which exists inside of us.

The acquisition of fuel occurs in many, many arenas. It might be gaining a smile from an appreciative stranger as get in a lift with them, from the tears of our partner who is crying after we have held them by the throat and described how much we hate them or from them ecstatic groans of our lover as we provide them with orgasmic relief. In each instance, fuel is what flows, fuel is the aim and fuel is what is required.

All of our kind receives fuel from the emotional response of others. We do not feel joy from inflicting pain on you because we do not feel joy. Your pained expression provides fuel. It could be tears, it could be a smile, it could be laughter. As long as there is an emotional response then we gain fuel.

When you are hurt from our manipulations this is a by product of our need to gain fuel. It is a collateral consequence. Our lack of empathy means that we do not care that you are hurt. However, it goes further than this. The reduced cognitive function of the Lesser (and to some degree the lower echelons of the Mid-Ranger) means that not only do they not care that you are being hurt, they do not know you are being hurt. They see an emotional reaction and that provides fuel (although of course they do not know the mechanics of that operation). They cannot recognise the pain. I appreciate this will be rather hard for some people to grasp – how can he not know I am hurt when I am telling him so and he sees my face twisted in pain and the tears spilling down my face? The fact is, those members of our brethren neither care nor know. Thus when you are manipulated it is done purely for the fuel, it is not done primarily to hurt you. This is cold comfort nevertheless as the outcome remains the same. You are hurt.

Where we have a sadistic streak (and this is more prevalent with the upper echelons of the Mid-Range and the Greater Narcissist) we know we are hurting you and we do not care. The knowledge of your hurt adds further fuel. Accordingly, your emotional response which we witness provides us with the fuel (in the same way as a Lesser or lower echelon Mid-Ranger would) but the knowledge you are being hurt and we are causing this, provides  us with extra potent fuel.

A sadist behaves in the way that he or she does purely for the sake of pleasure. We do not do it. If we have a sadistic streak then we deploy it in our machinations for two purposes:-

  1. The provision of extra-potent fuel as described above; and
  2. For the purposes of punishment and revenge.

Our aim, through this sadism, is not solely pleasure but rather the reinforcement of our superiority. Not all of our kind wish to punish, hence, they have no sadistic streak. The Mid-Ranger who has lost his primary source will feel fury for this transgression but he is far more likely to direct his energies to applying an Initial Grand Hoover to get you back and reinstate the golden period. He has no urge to punish you. Even if that IGH fails, he will then focus on recruiting a new primary source and he will leave you alone. There may be benign follow-up hoovers when he devalues the new primary source, but there is still no desire to punish you He may be looking to ‘win you back’ or just gain positive fuel. If this fails, he may not apply a malign hoover, but instead will leave you be before returning at a later juncture with another benign hoover (if conditions are right).

If you have been discarded by a Lesser but you keep trying to find out why he has discarded you, he will apply malign hoovers. This is not done as an act of revenge, but is rather done to make you stay away so he can focus on his new primary source and so you will not spoil this golden period by telling lies (the truth) about him to the new primary source. He wants you deleted and the malign hoovers are a response to your interference.

If you find yourself in a situation where you know that your particular narcissist has a new primary source, you are doing nothing to enter the spheres of influence but your narcissist will not leave you alone and is applying malign hoovers against you, this is evidence of the sadistic streak. It manifests as a malicious obsession which causes you to enter the sixth sphere of influence (see the relevant section in What is Making Him Come Back? ) and then the Hoover Execution Criteria are met.

The relevant narcissist may not actually receive any Proximate Fuel from you as you are treated to these malign hoovers because he cannot see your reactions, so you may wonder, why would he do this? The reasons are as follows:-

  1. The sadistic streak means that he is willing to sacrifice the fuel he is gaining from the new primary source to carry out this sadistic, malign campaign against you. Usually, the narcissist will want to gorge on this positive fuel from the new primary source and keep his attention on this person, but where there is a sadistic streak, he is willing to use some of this fuel to power the malicious campaign against you as the discarded or escaped former primary source.
  2. The sadistic behaviour allows for the provision of Thought Fuel as the sadistic narcissist contemplates your terrified reactions and it is his perception of how you feel (even though he cannot see it and thus it is not Proximate Fuel) . Ordinarily, a non-sadistic narcissist would not bother to apply the energy to gain this weaker Thought Fuel but a sadistic narcissist will do so.
  3. Our superiority is maintained by doling out punishment and revenge. A non-sadistic narcissist would seek that reinforcement with a new primary source (because it is easier to gain that positive fuel from them and to focus on them solely). The demands of the sadistic narcissist are such that he requires this ratification and validation from both current primary source (positive fuel) and discarded former primary source (negative Thought Fuel and the power felt from the application of revenge).

Accordingly, when you are entangled with a narcissist, so that the Formal relationship is continuing and you are being devalued, and he exhibits sadistic behaviours towards you, this is for the purposes of gaining extra potent fuel. If the sadism occurs post escape or discard, this is done to punish you. If Proximate Fuel arises, so much the better but if it does not, this is not a massive concern to the sadistic narcissist because we are willing to sacrifice the fuel gained from another source in order to power our desire to achieve revenge over you.

Since you look at matters from your perspective and not ours, you may find it difficult to truly distinguish when sadistic behaviour is being used against you during the Formal Relationship. It is, however, at its most recognisable when you have escaped us or have been discarded. If you know we have a new primary source but there is a campaign of hurtful behaviour being used against you – slashing the tyres on your car, putting bricks through your windows, posting unsavoury comments about you online, handing outflyers accusing you of child abuse and such like – this is the sadism being manifested. This is not a smear because the smearing happens prior to your discard (so we have got in first) or if you have escaped, the smear will happen before we get another primary source. The key determining factor in knowing that you are facing a sadistic narcissist is that we have a new primary source and instead of relishing solely in the golden period with them, we are lashing out at you again and again.

19 thoughts on “Sadistic Streak

  1. Chihuahuamum says:

    Ive compartmentalized a lot of my dads sadistic behaviour when i was growing up. He was terribly mean to a dog wed adopted who ironically had come from an abusive home. Memories of things he did trickle out more and more and make me overcome with disgust!
    He was so mean to our dog. Anyone who can abuse an animal or child or anyone and enjoy it in a sadistic way is so disgusting.
    I feel such confusion bc hes now faced with potential cancer and altho ive been supporting him theres a side of me that hates him and thinks you got what you deserve you piece of shit! Our dog did not deserve what you did to him! Disgusting.

  2. Chihuahuamum says:

    I think narcissists can be sadistic also once you see behind their mask and they enjoy showing you who they “really” are to shock you. They want you to see how ugly they really are and especially when they know you are in a position you cant or wont do anything about it. This has happened where i wont say anything and they know ive seen behind their mask. Now theyre not making the effort to hide as much and enjoy shocking by being themselves. Its like when you see a murder and who did it youre no longer safe. Its an uneasy feeling once youve seen behind the mask bc they know you know and youre a threat to their facade.

    1. Kim e says:

      Chihuahuamum,
      My narc has pictures of what I believe is his true self on his FB page. People make comments about how he used a “filter” to make him look like that. I have never seen behind the mask but I just know in my gut that there is no filter being used on those pictures.
      Down right scary.

  3. kathy0720 says:

    You mention sadism in the sexual arena. Is it fair to assume that narcissists are especially rampant in the bdsm community? I don’t think kinks are pathological in and of themselves but are the majority of men identifying as a dominant figure expressing a means of gaining fuel?

  4. Blue1 says:

    Thanks for reposting! Excellent article!

  5. Sarah says:

    HG, what about waiting in a car outside your house early in the morning (so early it would be assumed that N would not be seen) when there is a shiny new primary source embedded?

    Malign or benign and for what purpose?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      If the narcissist has a new IPPS and this person is in a golden period, if the narcissist is sitting outside that will be a malign hoover.
      The purpose is to gain fuel, warn you that you are being watched (and thus to stay away from the narcissist and his new IPPS) but also to maintain plausible deniability (I was visiting a friend/I was on the phone/I was just in the neighbourhood)

      1. Sarah says:

        Thanks HG. I thought malign also, but I have always been no contact and so don’t pose a threat at all to a new source. I also thought he didn’t intend for me to see him as it was 5.30am.

        Perhaps increased energy levels with a new IPPS are providing fuel to issue malign hoovers for my no contact? His diagnosis is NPD with psychopathic traits, I think this behaviour lives up to his diagnosis. I liked it much better when he didn’t know where to find me. Wicked games.

  6. Sara says:

    Are all narcissists either psychopaths or sociopaths or are there those that are simply narcissists? …although there is nothing simple about any of them.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      No. All psychopaths are narcissistic, but not all narcissists are psychopathic.

  7. DEMBunny says:

    HG
    Can a victim LMR (or ML) or any victim cadre of any narc range- who LACKS the sadistic streak – have kids that he doesn’t devalue or narcissistically torture?
    Perhaps be seemingly loving but a deadbeat/distant type of parent? Enjoy the positive fuel of a visit but then not be involved much otherwise?
    Thx

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Yes.

  8. foolme1time says:

    HG, This doesn’t have anything to do with this post. I have a question and wasn’t sure where to ask. In a consult would you be able to go further into detail how the different schools and cadres may counter or align with each other? After my empath detector consult and the short audio that accompanied it, I was left with a few questions. I don’t even know if you have the answers to these questions that is why I thought I should ask before I purchase one.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Yes, I can readily address those for you.

      1. foolme1time says:

        Thank you so much!!

  9. J.G says:

    Hello, H.G.Tudor.
    With this post seems to want to excuse the narcissist of medium and low rank. But if well, its end is simply the fuel as you say well. They are knowledgeable because their victims communicate it to them.
    Another thing is for them to turn a deaf ear to our pleas for clemency.
    And as in Law, in life.
    Ignorantia juris non excusat or ignorantia legis neminem excusat .
    Ignorance of rules is no excuse.
    Another very different thing as we all know is that the norms and rules are made for us, but not for you who skip them and go through the Arc of Triumph (your dick)…..
    You can’t look for excuses for something you don’t have.
    So accept it, you are sadists by nature and you have to submerge it.
    And we are very foolish, to spoil it….

    Pd: I hope you had a good time on your trip.

    1. J.G says:

      We’re very stupid to consent to such abuse.

    2. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you JG.

  10. Supernova says:

    hm! I was waiting for this article, I did not know that you already had it published.
    thks, HG!

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