The Rules of Ex Club – No. 1
A series of memes explaining the rules that the narcissist applies to ex intimate partners
6 thoughts on “The Rules of Ex Club – No. 1”
Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)
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Hey it has been long, long time since I’ve been on the site. Hello everyone. About a year ago I looked like the crazy ex in HG’s pix. I really did not believe I could ever get over my narc boyfriend. But I did. I do dream about him and he’s always a monster. Nightmares really. But I wake up, wonder if the nightmares will ever go away. The point is I’m over him. No desire none.
I had not seen him for 11 months but today, I saw him. Luckily, I was in my car, tinted windows, I’ve dyed my hair copper from light blonde, and I was wearing sunglasses. But he saw my car, unique auto, and his head nearly snapped off his head to see if it was me. Some pleasure I got from that, but he doesn’t know for sure if it was me, but I know it was “it.” No change.
Thanks to ALL of you, HG in particular, and reading HG’s books, participating on this site I am not afraid of him anymore. I just wonder what ever possessed me to be with him in the 1st place. I don’t live him, hate him, want revenge . . . just a sickening reminder that I have a pattern of wanting narcs as friends or partners.
I was not in the watch for him. It just freakily happened we were momentarily in the same place at the same time. My concern is now will he stalk me again but I know he is a coward and does not want to go to jail. But the power of thought . . .
I still have a narc problem. They are attracted to me and for the last month, after short engagements with female friend narcs, U am trying to get better about RECOGNIZING the signs SOONER. Peace to all in the New Year.
* I meant love not live–though living MY life is what I am finally doing. *I am trying to get better for real . . . .
Just an add on before I sign off, it is difficult. Also as I was always taken in before, now I am about 62 percent actively correctly discriminating or weeding out or separating myself instead of rushing in. Fools rush in. I have been very tempted but I step back now. I learned to do it through this authentic narc site. Xo
Hello, H.G. Tudor.
I could really be partly right. But no, from what the narcissist thinks. If not for the treatment and mistreatment applied. This really leaves the victims a little disoriented. But the good news is that this is transitory. The bad news is that the narcissist’s madness is absolute and has no cure. This is really a shame for you.
HG, why does the mid range narcissist have so different attitude towards different former victims?
My N ex stalks online all his former intimate partners and hoovers them all if there is a hoover trigger and he is bored or low on fuel.
But some of these victims get always “I love you, you are my soulmate, I am depressed without you, please forgive me” hoovers (even after years) and some get only mean hoovers designed to cause frustration. It is “you are my everything and I want you to remember this” vs “you are nothing and I want you to remember this” or in best case “I see you just as a friend and you should be happy about it”.
Is it something in the personality or attitude or actions of those victims that trigger narcissist to act in such different ways?
No, the MR narcissist (like the Lesser) acts in the moment and therefore his response is based on what is the most effective (or tries to be the most effective) at that particular moment. Remember, they both act instinctively and the MR narcissist has a wider armoury available so sometimes there is more than one response open to him or her.