Thought Fuel

 

 

THOUGHT FUEL

 

 

We love fuel. It is our lifeblood. It is what we seek on a daily basis. It powers us. It allows us to exist. It comes from a wide range of suppliers. It comes with varying frequency, potency and effect. Certain people are fountains of fuel, faucets of delicious and edifying fuel, super tankers, wells, reservoirs. Those are the people we target, hunt down and ensnare as our primary sources but fuel can be obtained from anyone and everyone. Of course some provide far more fuel than others and it is those people who form the important suppliers to us. Fuel manifests in many different forms, arising from words, gestures, actions and inactions, so long as there is emotion attached, then fuel is generated and we drain it from those we have attached our fuel lines to and suck it up for our greater glory and empowerment. It is also useful for you to understand that fuel also comes in Proximate and Thought or Think forms.

Proximate Fuel is the fuel that is mentioned the most often. It is also the more potent of the two. Proximate Fuel arises from when we witness your emotional reaction to something that we have done. Accordingly, if we see you cry as a result of us calling you horrible names then we receive Proximate Fuel. If we walk into an arena and receive the adoring applause of thousands of people, that is Proximate Fuel. If, as we walk down the road we draw an admiring glance from somebody, that is Proximate Fuel. It is the most important fuel when it comes in this form and is necessary to the good order of our existence.

Thought Fuel is less potent but that is not to suggest that it should be dismissed. There is still considerable potency in this form of fuel and we rely on it frequently and especially so at particular stages in the narcissistic cycle. Think Fuel arises when we envisage your emotional reaction to something that we have done or not done. In respect of our primary sources the Thought Fuel is strongest. This is firstly because of that person’s high ranking in terms of the Proximity of Supply but also because we know our primary source very well indeed. Our primary source has been researched, targeted and seduced. During seduction we analysed you further, understanding how you behave based on our experience of others of a similar nature to you but with the addition of gaining direct and daily access to all the subtle nuances, behaviourisms and idiosyncrasies that make you what you are. This knowledge enables us to determine how you react. We continue with our observation and scrutiny through the devaluation. Our knowledge bank about how you will react is burgeoning. We know how you will respond to certain situations and we can envisage how you will look and what you will say. Generating that picture is important because when we apply some form of manipulation against you but we are not beside you or viewing you in order to watch your reaction, we instead absorb the Thought Fuel from knowing how you would respond and with the attendant emotion.

Accordingly, when we impose a silent treatment during devaluation and we do so through absenting ourselves, we of course are unable to see your reaction to our disappearance, but we know what it will be. We know you will anxious and anguished. We know that tears will be trickling down your face or that you will be frantic with worry or that you will be pacing up and down angry at our sudden departure. We know you and in so doing we drink of this Thought Fuel and feel powerful in the knowledge that our manipulation has caused this reaction even though we cannot see this. The silent treatment continues and we continue to draw ThoughtFuel from the knowledge of how it will be affecting you. This Thought Fuel is also intertwined with Proximate Fuel because for example, if you send a heartfelt text to us during this silent treatment, we see the emotion in your words and this provides us with Proximate Fuel alongside the enduring Thought Fuel.

Thought Fuel is especially useful when we engage in our manipulations through silent treatment, or denigrating you and then going out somewhere. We are able to conjure up the image of you distraught at home and fearing our return and this Thought Fuel invigorates us. It is evident when we have discarded you in particular as we think of how you will be reacting once you realise that you have been discarded and that we want no more to do with you.  When we hoover you through technology, even though we may not receive a response to our first flurry of texts we will still draw Thought Fuel from it because we know how you will be responding to our communication. It may be excitement, it may be apprehension or it may be hatred, but whatever it is, it will be fuelling us nevertheless and that is all that matters to us.

The drawback with Thought Fuel is that the envisaged reaction cannot be maintained for a long time without the need for Proximate Fuel from that same source. If after four or five days of hoovering somebody by text and there is no response, the empowering effects of imagining what your reaction will be, will wane. If you have decided not to respond as part of instigating No Contact, the failure to respond with Proximate Fuel means that the Thought Fuel can only last so long. Once those few days have elapsed, we need a Proximate Fuel response from you. Of course during this period, we may be getting fuel from different sources (both Proximate and Thought) as is our standard approach. In order to revitalise the Thought Fuel with a particular appliance however we need that appliance to provide Proximate Fuel. Thus after five days of silence with no response, the Thought Fuel will wane. If you then telephone us and cry down the ‘phone because we are not speaking to you, we receive a delicious dollop of Proximate Fuel. If then you fall silent even though we are sending texts, your supply of Proximate Fuel has invigorated the Thought Fuel because you have let us know that it is still affecting you. This direct contact by you has not only given us Proximate Fuel but it has breathed new life into the Thought Fuel which will continue to power us from your envisaged reaction until once again it will wane after a few days.

This situation cuts both ways also. If after a few days of enjoying the Thought Fuel we then have direct contact with you but you provide no fuel by responding to us in a neutral fashion, then if there continues silence thereafter we will not derive any further Thought Fuel from that particular manipulation because you have demonstrated that it is not proving effective. We may continue the silent treatment and focus on a different source of fuel, but we are no longer getting any from you, until such time as we witness Proximate Fuel again.

Thought Fuel underlines our power because it demonstrates to us that we can be super charged from knowing about how you will respond even though we do not see your reaction. To us, that is an example of the considerable power that we wield. It also means that even if you somehow are not reacting in the way that we envisage you would (although this is usually unlikely) at least for a number of days we will still gain Thought Fuel because it is based on how we have witnessed you behave and respond on previous occasions.

Thought Fuel is most often obtained from the Primary Source but it can be drawn from other sources. Knowing how a friend will be reacting to our failure to turn up to his birthday celebration or knowing how somebody serving at a bar will react to our dressing down as we walk away with a smile on our face enables us to draw Thought Fuel from these Methods of Delivery also.

This is why fuel is so important to us. This is why fuel is so pervasive and is the object of all our agendas and manipulations.

9 thoughts on “Thought Fuel

  1. Intrepid Traveller says:

    I rather enjoy thought fuel too. Does that make me as bad as the narcissist?
    I have parked a bright orange beaten up $500 van in front of my ex narc’s house. Right outside the front door. His $1m house is for sale. The van even has one of those flashy lights on the roof. I gain a lot of thought fuel from this. Innocuous as this is. It’s been there a month now. I’m even enjoying the thought fuel as i write this.Not such an empath after all, maybe i am the narcissist. 🙁

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You did not gain thought fuel.

      1. Intrepid says:

        Not his no! but I rather enjoy the thought of him being hacked off each time he arrives home or leaves his house or looks out his window. Making me as bad as him!

  2. Francesca Lupi says:

    What happens when the victim proves that she don’t react es emotionally as before? If I start to be stoic in front of every attempt to hoover me, can I hope that he will not receive more fuel from me, even in the form of thought fuel? Will he be discouraged from contacted me again? Thanks for your precious informations.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Remember that when you are physically proximate to a narcissist it is nigh on impossible not to provide any fuel. You will always apply some but of varying amounts. This is why you should always implement no contact, rather than adopt a grey rock approach.

      1. Francesca Lupi says:

        Yes. I agree. In fact, I am in no contact regime. But sometimes he try to contact me through alternative channels. I never answer (for example when I don’t know a number when someone is calling, or when I see his number on the landline phone), but I hope he will stop to try to get thought fuel from me in future as a result of my obstinacy in having no reaction.

  3. J.G THE ONE says:

    Hello, H.G.Tudor.
    So true, it is a powerful imagination of yours, because it is based on a perfect knowledge of your victim. What will it do, what will it say, how will it react, how will it affect it? Analyzed the victim to the last millimeter. The trusted victim is in your hands, or rather in your minds.
    This also makes me think. To think that we were very careless in our relationship with our narcissist, because today I can stand on the other side of the mirror and see. To see that we were not careful enough, nor observant, nor attentive enough towards our narcissist. Perhaps extremely selfish, because they were not valued and we paid them enough attention, which our narcissists did with us. This is a fact, that, if you think about it from the narcissist’s perspective, it is nothing more than a criticism towards them.
    And you say you love me? And you don’t even pay attention to me, you don’t even value me. You’re just here to be flattered, the narcissist will think about seduction…
    And as it could not be otherwise, it is a critique from the first moment the narcissistic relationship begins. From the beginning of the narcissistic relationship, empathics very quickly acquire negative points, negative points after negative points. They cross us off with their crosses and create and place them around us. Thus creating our future pantheon.

  4. Goldie says:

    My god, so true. The silence and abandonment for weeks on end was excruciating and caused an extreme array of mostly negative thoughts that SERIOUSLY fucked up my head.

    1. Mercy says:

      Goldie, so true. I remember my first silent treatment. It felt like physical pain.

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