Poll : What Would You Wish For The Narcissist?

KTN Poll - H.G Wants To Know Post Graphic

You have been granted one wish. This wish has to be applied to the narcissist (or narcissists if there was more than one) that you have entangled with in your life.

Whether it was a romantic, social, familial, work or other ensnarement, what would you want the narcissist to experience? Do you wish them dead? Perhaps you want them to change and be genuinely remorseful for everything that they have done? Maybe you would prefer them to be placed in isolation and with no access to fuel? Go with your gut response. Do expand on why you chose this in the comment.

Thank you for participating.

You have one wish the outcome of which is applied to the narcissist. Which one of the following would you choose?

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124 thoughts on “Poll : What Would You Wish For The Narcissist?

  1. Anm says:

    I wish him the perfect supply that is halfway on the other side of the world. The fuel will be so delicious, that he forever feels so powerful, that he forgets about me, and let’s me be. Then we can both live happily ever after.

  2. Kiki says:

    Hg feeling any of the above is a sign you are still tied to the narc.
    Your energy is still about them.
    When you no longer care I think that’s the ultimate goal.
    Kiki

  3. Kiki says:

    I would not care of what happens to the narc that is the ultimate goal sheer indifference when you have moved on

    Kiki

  4. Chihuahuamum says:

    I chose the ability to feel love and happiness bc i feel everyone is entitled to feel and know that in their life. I wish he could go back in time and heal certain wounds or memories and reprogram his brain.
    As far as my mum and brother there was a time i wouldve said to be in misery but now i see how futile that is and i no longer take it personally. I was just fortunate enough to learn from my experiences and know what im dealing with and be free of the burden of abuse or the emotional impact. When i feel anger, vengeful or upset i remember alk im grateful for and it quickly dissipates. Revenge is a waate of precious time!!

  5. WiserNow says:

    This is a very interesting poll. Choosing just one option makes it difficult because I could easily choose a few of them.

    In the end I chose “no longer a narcissist”. This one wish would cover a variety of things and would automatically grant some of the other wishes. The narcissist would no longer lie and deceive without remorse. They would no longer constantly manipulate and control as though their life depended on it. They wouldn’t need to be isolated and they could still contribute their good qualities. They would no longer create chaos and damage for the sake of their own ego. They would no longer find it enjoyable or necessary to hurt other people.

    HG’s recent video explaining the difference between ‘narcissistic’ and ‘narcissist’ helped me to see things with more clarity. Everyone sits somewhere on the ’empathic-narcissistic’ spectrum and having a variety of people in society who have various levels of empathic and narcissistic traits is healthy and interesting.

    When ‘narcissistic’ traits tip over and a person develops narcissistic personality disorder, it creates the sickness. It creates the inability to be reflective and to see things from someone else’s point of view and to choose the behaviour that will benefit the group as a whole and not just themselves. The npd removes the ability to feel love and remorse and to have a conscience. It leads to lies and deception and to having a facade and to placing unfair burdens on others. It creates black and white thinking without the ability to dig deeper, be self-reflective and face themselves as they really are.

  6. DEMBunny says:

    Genuine remorse. Seems fair. Maybe genuine amends could be made and closure .

    I’ve actually never thought about what I wish on them. Had to ponder this . It actually feels like my one wish isn’t on here somehow.

  7. Abe Moline says:

    Woohoo… so many tempting options 😀! But I chose to stay true to my first love… been having wet dreams about this since I first found out about narcissism.

    Fuel starvation!

    This was definitely my golden wish while going through the hate period, but I must confess I still find it attractive.

    Unfortunately, I’m aware it’s not going to happen soon, so, in a way, it’s a harmless wish. She has a quite nicely developed fuel network – IPPS (husband), IPSS (the one before, and also after, me), the child, which I’m quite sure is not of her husband (but of the mentioned IPSS), a few long standing friends. Also holds a middle-management position and she’s milking it to the fu(e)llest. So, for now, all is bright I think in her personal narc-land…

    1. foolme1time says:

      Abe, It only seems that way from the outside looking in.

      1. Abe Moline says:

        This comment touched me a lot, although I don’t quite understand why 🙂
        Feeling happy and sad at the same time now…

        Thank you, FM1T.

        1. foolme1time says:

          Abe, Perhaps because you are still caught up in your emotional thinking, but the truth is right there and your beginning to understand that. Happy and sad because you are an empath. I can go through happy, sad, angry, depressed, back to happy and have tears flowing for all of them within 5 minutes! Lol. The best is when I’m laughing and crying at the same time and have no idea why! 🤣🤣. Btw. Your welcome! 😘🙃

  8. Narc noob says:

    To experience what their victims feel, to know what empathy is. To put themselves in anothers shoes. Justice, a slice of getting what they deserve. I would wish for the traits to be healed, so I can see the person for what they are and not some evil monster of a human. I would also wish that others saw through their fascade so a big N on their forehead might just help, a little 🙄

  9. Angie says:

    Death,,or to experience the full spectrum of emotions: Love, Joy, Happiness, Sadness, Guilt, Shame, Remorse, Pain/anguish , misery, agony,,,as there really is no excuse for Narcissism it is their own self inflicting wounds that caused them to do this to other people and no sane person doesn’t take responsibility for their own actions and disgusting behaviors,,,with no morality, there is no true purpose or true salvation to your existence ,,no different between right or wrong good or bad it’s just what you do and what you don’t do,,Do Unto Others as you would have them do Unto You.

  10. Sophia says:

    I chose isolation no fuel.Though, I often daydream about him feeling true empathy. Knowing and feeling the pain of others. Especially those he’s hurt.

  11. sunnHekili says:

    There are actually 3 wishes I would choose. (After all, this is a magic wand sort of thing, is it not)?

    (1) Genuine remorse for his or her actions— Remorse that spurs him to positive action…to address, fix, and make ammends for the havoc he has wreaked.

    (2) No longer a narcissist— So that he would cease to hurt others, cease to hide his true self, and cease to hurt (within himself).

    (3) The ability to feel love, happiness, sadness etc— Because to me this is freedom.

  12. jean says:

    smh…leave them isolated with no fuel…the only thing you can do with these soulless beings…my empathy is no longer without boundaries or free to all…sooner of later you realize it’s the nature of a parasite to suck all the life from you…wasted enough of my life…

  13. Kelly B says:

    Want justice for everything that was done to me. Can’t ask to lose his hair because he never had any.

  14. Bubbles 🍾 says:

    Dear Mr Tudor,
    I voted “no longer a narcissist” ….but with the knowledge of what they did and apologising to all the people they lied to and hurt

    Wow, you’re new piccie is most striking …..is that you?
    Luv Bubbles xx 😘

  15. Lyn says:

    That they could only tell the truth.

  16. Bekah B says:

    For all narcissists, I would wish that they could feel genuine remorse for their actions..

    But for my children’s father, specifically, I wish ‘Narcissist’ could be branded upon his forehead.. That way everyone who ever comes into contact with him would know upfront who they are dealing with..

  17. Mercy says:

    My pick is Isolation and no fuel. I almost picked the ability to feal love and happiness but I’m not there yet. Maybe we should do this poll again in 6 months and see if our answers change

  18. foolme1time says:

    She saw, It really does bounce right off of them doesn’t it?! They absolutely just don’t get it, they also just don’t care.

  19. NarcAngel says:

    For them all (Lesser to Greater) to be struck aware of what they are and offered the choice to continue on as they are or to change and experience all that they’ve missed.

  20. shesaw says:

    No longer a narcissist. That would make some other points irrelevant. I spoke to him lately. It made me feel sad. Whatever I said – it all bounced off of his narcissistic armor without him being aware. It created an enormous distance between me and him. My empathy and compassion have never felt more useless to me.

  21. SMH says:

    The feels because that would be torture.

  22. Sonya says:

    Sorry I voted twice. I would wish them ‘healing’ from the childhood wound or trauma that caused this injury to them. Someone did this to them. I wish healing to that person too. 💞

  23. Kiki says:

    Retribution. Some type of karma. They still wouldn’t get the lesson, so it would be futile for me to wish this upon them, but I still do.

    1. Kiki says:

      Hi I there must be two Kiki here

      Kiki

  24. Alexissmith2016 says:

    In the beginning I would have opted for them being able to experience true love and not feel the need to hurt anyone.

    Later on I would have wished for them to be starved of fuel.

    Now, I couldn’t care less.

    But, I do still have a strong desire to save others from their clasp and spare them the pain. So I guess inadvertently thst would mean starving them of fuel.

  25. Kelly says:

    No longer a narcissist. One less in the world would be better for everyone.

  26. Bonnielou says:

    I voted for him to be able to feel love, happiness, sadness etc..I don’t wish mine any harm. I didn’t let it get to the point where he could really do any damage to me because I was strong. But now I understand him and I had the strength to never react when he tried to gain fuel from me. I have gone no contact now and I am rebuilding my life and my boundaries.

  27. De says:

    I’d like my nark to experience the pain, the pain of being broken psychologically, the pain the lies caused, the pain of recovery, I want him to recognize what he has done, feel remorse and guilt for what he has done to me and other women…but most of all I want him to see me not only surviving but thriving, in my glorious life without him.

    1. Claire says:

      To realize how utterly stupid he is and have to sit with the knowledge that he is prime entertainment for those watching that know what he is. He is making a spectacle of himself and the narcissism won’t allow insight. Wouldn’t it be wounding to know he is viewed as a fool? Despite this I would hope my children would have a better person to view as their father but this will never happen and wishful thinking is akin to emotional thinking so I don’t think embellishing this thought process is prudent.

  28. WhoCares says:

    I selected: isolation and no fuel. But that already happened; so what I actually desire – and it’s not on the list – is that he forget that I ever existed and go back where he came from.

  29. blackunicorn123 says:

    Heh heh heh – looks like I’m vengeful – isolation and no fuel, all the way! He took my life for a while, and it’s the closest comparable thing, so returning the favour is the least I could do!! In reality, I couldn’t give a toss about revenge, but if you’re asking, then that is what I’d choose!!

  30. Caroline-is-fine says:

    I wish for their pain to be healed & for them to be rooted in deep, unconditional love.

    [I also wish to not have posting problems/apologies if this sentiment posts twice]

  31. candacemarie1212 says:

    As for being branded a narcissist on their forehead. I don’t see how this would hurt them since most people don’t seem to know what evil a narcissist can do. So I don’t see it having any negative impact on them.

  32. Caity says:

    I must agree with Twilight. Even if it meant (and it no doubt would) that I’d never have met him, I would wish the thing (genetics?) and his parents (mother, most certainly) who created this in him…had just…not.

    1. Twilight says:

      I was speaking of the actual beginning of narcissism…..the birth of narcissism.
      Just as empathy began so did naricissism……this would mean what I am would be gone to.

      Both sides would develop differently and what we know would never exist.

      1. foolme1time says:

        Yes Twilight, to the very beginning. I like that thought very much. I was thinking just now after reading your comment, to get back to the beginning, must there not be and end?

  33. candacemarie1212 says:

    I would want them to be remorseful and apologize to me and others they hurt. After that I don’t care what happens to them. But for H G since you have never done anything to me I would want you to be able to feel love and happiness.

  34. Caroline-is-fine says:

    I wish their pain could be healed and that they could be rooted in deep, unconditional love.

  35. Audra says:

    He had his plan thought out with malice aforethought , he planned to suck me dry and take everything I had. Fortunately for me he underestimated my strength of character and I fought till the end. He was forced to run in fear of police , funny he is ex police. Yes grandiose supreme idiot.
    Although he left me destitute in a foreign country I’m still here fighting to keep my home….. don’t fuck with a strong woman

  36. Katebd19 says:

    I know we have no future because my elite UMR ex cannot change, but if a wish would come true, I would wish that he could feel love and happiness.

  37. Saskia says:

    My gut response voted for the last option: to feel the full spectrum of positive and negative emotions. If he were capable of feeling a plethora of positive and negative emotions, he would be equally receptive to other people’s spectrum of emotions, to their pain and misery as well as to his own, be able to feel remorse and be accountable, be THERE, tangible as a person and identity of his own.

    I cannot bear the thought of him being dead or sick or experiencing substantial harm in the form of any loss. It is a general attitude I have towards the stigma that comes with death and loss – the mere thought leaves me feeling shattered, even if it concerns people I barely know.

    I do not wish for anything that would grant us a re-establishment of what once was either – be it a GP (I do not even have a memory of a GP that would serve as a reference point) or any other form of relatedness.

  38. FYC says:

    I selected, “No longer a narcissist,” because it is closest to what I would wish: To erase the horrible experiences/environment that ignite the genes involved in narcissism.

    This would eliminate the pain experienced by the narcissist long ago, and preempt any restless need for fuel, thereby eliminating any narcissistic abuse of others. A win-win. Plus, they would finally know their true self is not weak, it is unique, exceptional and more than enough.

    Since they would not be a narcissist without expression of the genes involved, they would experience intimacy and every wonderful feeling in life, instead of being so very limited. So, if you find a magic wand, HG, please consider this wish. I assure you, any loss of power will be more than compensated by acquiring a greater power of another kind.

    1. foolme1time says:

      FYC, Well said. That actually brought tears to my eyes.

      1. FYC says:

        FM1T, Thank you for understanding😘 I have familial narcissists too, so I see all sides. Now I’m just grateful not to be caught up in it anymore. Such a blessing.

  39. beautifulmadness000 says:

    Despite it all, my emotional thinking won out and I wished for a permanent golden period with me. I loved him like no other, I’ve never known such intensity. If I could take him back to those early days of bliss, falling in love, discovery, possibility and a future so bright it burned our eyes, then I’d choose that. For a while, I believe I made him a better man and, for a while, I know he made me a better everything.

  40. Christopher Jackson says:

    For them to be isolated and to change their ways…shit doesnt have to be like that they make it that way

  41. misstasia says:

    I chose ” No longer a Narcissist” because if he was he would experience remorse for all he has done and have genuine feelings for once in his life.

  42. PrincessSuperEmpath says:

    If it were a GEN like you, HG, I would like (1) a permanent golden period, or at least not to be painted bad too much, because there are so many things I have not experienced in this life and a GEN would be fun to do things with and explore life with, and (2), for the Narcissist and I to figure out a way to obtain the negative fuel other than extracting it from me. However, I do not want a complete change, because certain aspects or traits I find to be beneficial and some other characteristics, I find admirable and still even other certain features I find necessary for surviving this life. With these changes at hand, I would prefer the GEN overall. I would then choose the lesser for his passion, and I would pass on the overly surreptitious, sulking, cowardly, second-punch-throwing mid ranger.

    1. foolme1time says:

      Dear Princess I understand the appeal of being with a GEN, but honestly there is no greater pain then the pain caused by what they do. You can find yourself a normal man to share and do the things in life you haven’t yet done, and at the end of those life experiences, that normal man will still be there holding your hand. This is my wish for you dear Princess. 🥰

  43. jessrnny says:

    Definitely the ability to feel all the good feels. Then they would be of their right mind to decide if they can stand me. Lol. Then, of course, the permanent golden period is implied. First glance down the list that was of interest to me … smh.

    1. jessrnny says:

      The ability to feel misery and pain is included in the ability to feel love, happiness and sadness. The “etc” probably includes guilt., remorse and other things foreign to them. These aren’t easy feelings but they make you feel alive.

    2. nunya biz says:

      “Then they would be of their right mind to decide if they can stand me.”

      I just love that in so many ways, jessrnny. So true, that’s all I could want, perfect.
      I have come to understand that they do no have choice, only control. The path of choice is unavailable and that’s why it can never work.

  44. Joanne says:

    Genuine remorse for his actions.

    If he could just say, “look J, I’m sorry for the way things went with us. I met someone else that I really clicked with. I should’ve had the balls to just tell you this, especially given our friendship.” I COULD GET ON WITH MY LIFE. That tiny bit of remorse and empathy toward me and how things went with us would save me the never ending thoughts that it was something about ME PERSONALLY that caused him to change and withdraw.

    In addition, if he did have remorse, it would prevent him from being such an ass toward others in the future, thus ending the abuse cycle forever.

    1. Mercy says:

      Joanne, I got my apology that I thought I needed in order to move on. Turns out it doesn’t help because it’s a lie! Key words in your choice “genuine remorse” and it will never happen. You know this but it’s really NOT YOU PERSONALLY. It’s hard to accept that even being aware of what they are. He’s not worthy of the person you are. He couldn’t handle you and thats why he disappeared. You were created with all of your working emotions. He was defective from the factory. It’s not his fault, I believe they give us everything they are capable of giving. They just don’t know how to live in a world of human emotion.

      1. Joanne says:

        Mercy
        Yes, you are right – it would be a lie. Did you feel a tiny bit of closure when you received your apology, though? Maybe I’m kidding myself thinking that if he at lease had the DECENCY to address it, that I would feel better. Even if it was just a lie to “let me down easy,” that I would somehow take comfort in his effort. It’s just kind of crazy how slow the process is to just let him go. And my situation was so brief! I didn’t even experience a fraction of what so many of you went through.

        1. Mercy says:

          Joanne, I use to think “show me you care even if you have to lie’. I was exposed to my narcissist in a relationship setting longer than you were. I was a IPSS so my golden period lasted years although it was more bronze than gold. My devaluation lasted just as long. Throughout the course of the devaluation I learned what he is so I could apply his actions against what I was learning from HG. He apologized many times and at first I believes him. It meant something to me. But the actions never changes so the apologies became just words. His final Hoover in an email said “I was unfair to you and I apologize”. You ask if I felt closure. My answer is yes Not because of the apology, but because it was the first time I was able to resist the Hoover. My closure is knowing that it eats him up that he couldn’t draw me back in with the lie.

          1. NarcAngel says:

            Mercy
            Atta girl. You don’t get closure from them. You give it to yourself.

          2. Mercy says:

            Thank you NarcAngel ♥️

          3. Joanne says:

            Mercy
            Good for you. Resisting a that kind of a Hoover after so much time is really the best closure!

  45. Marion A. Shine says:

    Put them all on a island away from mankind.

  46. Bibi says:

    This is my sort of poll. I love the 1st one that just gets to the point. ‘Death.’

    I chose isolation and no fuel. I have no interest in any golden anythings, or them feeling remorse–I don’t care.

    I don’t want them dead as death is too easy. Better to go through life ugly, fat, ignored and a failure.

    1. nunya biz says:

      Bibi, I relate. I was going to say isolation and no fuel because it feels karmic. But then I thought I don’t like pain concepts. I chose death.

      1. I’d prefer he not exist in my universe.
      2. Needs to stop bothering people.
      3. He needs to just start over.
      4. Be gone.

      1. Bibi says:

        Nunya–

        There was a time I would have chosen the more loving response, certainly. I don’t wish death on him because he is a turd that is going nowhere in life, so might as well keep some flies alive.

        For my narc dad I would wish he wasn’t a narc and could understand the hurt he caused.

        I think isolation and no fuel is a just punishment. Have them be a failure according to what they perceive a failure to be.

        Put them in a kind of hell where they are in service to others–cleaning portable toilets, changing old people’s diapers all day, etc.

        1. nunya biz says:

          Yes, Bibi, I was thinking of one in particular, but on the other hand I think no narcs would be good and I do believe in afterlife, etc…
          But I just can’t get to the more loving response right now. Besides, it’s just a thought puzzle and I think there are multiple ways to get to the answer.

          I for sure do not choose “Golden Period”, least viable option. No way. I prefer to be painted black, the paradox and hypocrisy of it appeals too much to my truthseeker trait, because the truth is they don’t love either, so I fully encourage black painting, at least it’s honest. Besides, the thought of him admiring me disgusts me and I would never allow it. He admires disgusting people and I absolutely refuse to be compared. His admiration is worth nothing to me. The only admiration worth valuing is genuine and encompasses appreciating my humility, which narcissists use, not appreciate.

        2. nunya biz says:

          And I like your karma-leaning response.
          “what they perceive a failure to be.”
          Really like that.

  47. J.G THE ONE says:

    Hello, H.G.Tudor.
    I once said to him: I don’t wish this on me, not even my worst enemy. Today I keep thinking the same thing.
    Now I know and I understand that I was actually telling my worst enemy my narcissist. Paradoxically, the person I loved the most was the person who hated me the most. It’s ironic, isn’t it?
    If you could fulfill your desires I would only wish you the ability to feel love, joy, sadness, and so on.
    Maybe with these emotions you would find your true love. Really, we don’t know the personal hell that narcissists live inside themselves day by day. I believe that we cannot be conscious of the absolute emptiness that they feel within, nor of their constant self-evaluation. And their constant Self-punishment.
    Really, if we ever really love each other, deep down there is no room for hatred.

    1. J.G THE ONE says:

      self-devaluation

  48. melissa says:

    I would wish that they were to become super empathic and have to relive each and every hurt they inflicted upon another and be made accountable by themselves for it.

    1. foolme1time says:

      Melissa, Your comment was absolutely perfect! I couldn’t have come up with a better wish then this for all of them!

  49. brynnstar says:

    Whoa did you get a new hat?

  50. Twilight says:

    To go all the way back to the beginning…..to end all narcissism

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