A Letter to the Narcissist – No. 24


Dear Narc,

No It isn’t a typo! It is the name I call you now! Please don’t try to understand it, you never will ! Even if you do know what a narcissist is, you would never believe you are one!
This letter is very difficult for me to write, not because I still have feelings for you! Actually it is the opposite, I feel nothing for you!! I have to admit you did a number on me! You hurt me both mentally and physically! You took the little bit of confidence I had in myself and destroyed it and if that wasn’t enough, you smeared my name, you used the pictures that you and I had taken in private and showed it to people convincing them that I was stalking you, that I was crazy!
You made me feel so ashamed and embarrassed! I couldn’t hold my head up any more!! You destroyed and broke me!! Knowing that should make you feel quite powerful indeed!  To me you are pathetic!
Why did you do it?! Don’t answer that! I know why you did it! You were afraid that I would tell people what you were hiding inside of you all your life! You were afraid that your family would be ashamed of you, that your new women wouldn’t want anything to do with you!
You did what you thought you had to do to protect yourself! But you see I would have never hurt you in that way! That is not what I do to people who I care about! I used the word care because I did care about you! What I realize now is that I never loved you! I liked the attention you gave me,  I even thought it was love at one time, not anymore!
It took me hitting rock bottom and actually wanting to take my own life to find the help, knowledge, and support that I needed! No I didn’t end up at a shrink’s office! I found a man and a group of people that got me through it! He is an amazing man and a wonderful writer and teacher!
The group is just like me! They are wonderful,compassionate, loving people who were hurt by people just like you! Shake your head and call me crazy all you want! The truth is you are a narcissist! Actually a mid range narcissist! Lol that should hurt! You are not even the best narc you can be! There is a group above you! But again you will never believe or understand this!
You have a pattern that I have figured out! You will marry this woman and she will have your child, just like your other two wives did! And just like your other two wives did, she will wait until you are away and she will leave you!!
Once again you will ( in your eyes ) be the victim! Poor you who has done so much for her! Once again you will be on the hunt! Warning to you! Do not try to contact me ever again! I am done with you! I have found myself again and nobody will ever hurt me again! I have seized the power that you so desperately crave! Ironic isn’t it?! I think it’s hilarious! LMFAO!
Good bye!

43 thoughts on “A Letter to the Narcissist – No. 24

  1. Bubbles 🍾 says:

    Dear foolme1time
    💕 from me to you
    Luv Bubbles xx 😘

    1. foolme1time says:

      Dear Bubbles right back at you dear.

  2. foolme1time says:

    BKK, Thank you! 🙃 I was angry when I wrote that letter and never realized how many exclamation points were in it. Lol. 😘🙃

  3. BurntKrispyKeen says:

    “I have found myself again.” – Fool Me One Time 😊

    It is staggering how much these narcissists can shred our confidence. I can certainly relate to that “beaten-down” feeling, but I see that you have well risen above it, FM1T!


    I’m thinking on this occasion, there’s no need to hold back. You deserve those extra exclamation points! 😉

  4. WiserNow says:

    I admire the energy and strength in your letter, despite the difficult subject. Your bright enthusiasm and warm heart shines through and it’s inspiring, with or without the exclamation points…!! 🙂 Well done to you FM1T! You have triumphed over all the narcs in your life that tried to destroy that strength and positivity in you and you have remained your beautiful self. That is real power!

    1. foolme1time says:

      WiserNow I apologize to you! I never received your comment. Thank you so much for your kind words. It was this place and HG that got me through all of that. 😘🙃

      1. foolme1time says:

        WN, Of course I wouldn’t of seen your comment! Duh. It was a post so it only went to the sender of the site. 🤦🏼‍♀️ lol

        1. WiserNow says:

          It’s ok and you have nothing to be concerned about 🙂

      2. WiserNow says:

        There’s nothing to apologise for FM1T, and you’re very welcome. This place and HG are unique, so I know what you mean. After spending some time here reading the posts and comments, I feel like I can see things through a clearer lens with more focus 😘😘

        1. foolme1time says:

          At times WiserNow it takes someone’s comment or comments, for me to understand things better also. I find myself thinking about it later on in the day or evening and finally something clicks inside. 🥰

  5. E. B. says:

    Well said, FM1T. Hope you were able to build your confidence back.
    “I have seized the power that you so desperately crave!”
    We may feel powerless in instances when we are being abused and helpless. The MRN’s feelings of having no control over their lives and others seems to remain a constant throughout their lives.

    1. foolme1time says:

      Thank you EB, my confidence is coming back slowly, but it is just not from him that I lost it, it is from a lifetime of narcissists and there abuse. So it will take me longer, but I will get there! 😘🙃

  6. SMH says:

    FM1T, I also wanted to tell my Mid-Ranger that he wasn’t the best narc that he could be. lol. It’s very freeing. Glad you found the amazing HG and this group.

    1. foolme1time says:

      SMH Thank you! I’m glad I found the amazing HG and this group also! 😘🙃

  7. Kelly says:

    Only a mere mid-ranger! Lol… loved it! You, FM1T are the best!

    1. foolme1time says:

      Kelly, I loved all the exclamation points! My kind of girl! Lol🙃😘

      1. Kelly says:

        I was feeling your enthusiasm!!! Lol

        1. foolme1time says:

          Ha ha Kelly! I loved it! I told NA I had cut down on my exclamation points from when I first started. If she seen that, she would know it was true! 😂😘🙃

          1. NarcAngel says:

            Haha. I did note that.

          2. foolme1time says:

            Oh Na! After I reread that letter this morning I thought of you straight away! Ha ha. I have only been gone eight days and honestly I missed you all so much! 😘🙃

  8. cb says:

    Definitely the robotic body language, the ‘twitching’.
    If you think back to the first date, already then it was noticeable on every male narcissist, midrange or greater,

    that they make a Twitch of their body if they see a group of teenage girls (outside our restaurant, or sitting at another table)
    Ns don’t just notice the girls with their eyes, like normal men do, but their whole body makes a very short sudden move.
    Probably pure instinct, but also designed to make you nervous, to keep you on your toes.

  9. Kristina MacLean says:

    I didn’t know my ex-Narc was in a relationship, when he met me (it wasn’t serious) in other words she was a shelf….not a primary, I found out later. I became the primary very quickly, I was love bombed! I thought wow this guy is super attentive….upon reflection or further inspection of that period of this love bombing, it became obvious that it was superficial….he wasn’t complimenting me on my intelligence, or my my spirit…just my hot body, and the way I was in bed. I can only assume some small part of me…wanted that, for a time. The big thing I noticed, is I changed a lot…in a very short period of time, he didn’t, at all! He was still griping over his horrible ex, and all the money she took (court ordered) from him 5 years later. I noticed that he played mental games with me…we were never on the same side, we were always opponents, in his mind. His mood dictated, everything! He stole all the oxygen, even when he was quiet….His charm became vapid, and hollow…because he wasn’t real. It felt put on…I realize now it was all “put on” he complained of suicide, depression and sadness, but could flip a switch to happiness, when the “right”person phoned, my words never felt like they soaked in… after I suffered from a serious injury, he was awful to me! Awful….it was like he was jealous, of my injury…it felt weird and unsafe. He was abusive, volatile, loud, mean cruel, and physically violent 1 time. I couldn’t get over it….I couldn’t see a way past….finally he met a girl, he flirted, cheated, I dunno…I found out. I asked him to leave….I switched it around and made it seem like it was best for him, because I was clearly not enough…I found myself lying to make it seem like it was my fault he cheated! My fault he was violent! I played his game, I remained calm and blamed myself, and pumped his ego…gave him fuel, and told him it wasn’t good-bye…it was see you later…I did that for one month and 13 days…just so I could escape unharmed. Once he left, I could breathe…I could feel, I was allowed to feel..I didn’t have to remain numb anymore….I could be me.

    1. foolme1time says:

      Kristina you have seized the power! Keep moving forward dear! 😘🙃

    2. SMH says:

      Kristina, ‘”He stole all the oxygen even when he was quiet.” Good line and good for getting out.

  10. Twisted Heart says:

    FM1T You have the sweetest heart. You have been so loving and kind to so many of us here, I can only imagine how much of your love you gave to him.

    “I have seized the power that you so desperately crave! Ironic isn’t it?”

    That was my favourite! Look out narcs!

    1. foolme1time says:

      Twisted Heart thank you for your kind words. I have found a place where my love and kindness are needed! I will never give that love to anyone who doesn’t deserve it ever again! You my dear sister have also seized that power! 😘😘🙃

      1. Twisted Heart says:

        FM!T Thank YOU! I really needed to hear that today. This place brings me so much comfort and support. Have a beautiful weekend dear friend. xoxoxo

        1. foolme1time says:

          You are welcome Twisted. Have a wonderful weekend sweetheart! 😘😘🙃

  11. carty34 says:

    Um! after the 10th exclamation mark I had to stop reading! Really !!

  12. Alexissmith2016 says:

    FM1T – I hate him in your behalf!

    Big hug and lots of love to you x

  13. FYC says:

    FM1T, I am so sorry your sweet soul endured this. He was cruel and cowardly to smear you. So glad you are here and he is long gone. You were generous with your goodbye. More like good riddance!

    1. foolme1time says:

      FYC yes he is long gone and I hope to never have to see him again! Thank you for your kind words, I can’t tell you enough how happy I am that you are here with us! 😘🙃

      1. FYC says:

        Likewise FM1T😘 Per your job decision, follow you heart/passion. Life is too short to live for others expectations. You can do anything you set your mind to. I’m so happy for you and your bright future. As HG says, seize the power!

        1. foolme1time says:

          FYC are you becoming a mind reader now? I never mentioned it was a job? You are correct, life is to short! Thank you dear FYC! 😘🙃

  14. nunya biz says:

    Thank you for letting me read this, FM1T. “LMFAO!”. I’m so glad you are here.

    1. foolme1time says:

      I’m so glad I’m here also nunya! Thank you! 😘🙃

  15. WhoCares says:

    Glad you have found your way back to yourself, FM1T. ♡
    And glad to know you.

    1. foolme1time says:

      I’m glad to know you also WhoCares. 😘🙃

      1. Claire says:

        I love it!

        1. foolme1time says:

          Ha ha Claire! 😘😘🙃

  16. Lisa says:

    Nicely written! I love this letter.

  17. Joanne says:

    “You are not even the best narc you can be!” —>😂😂 Go tell ‘em, FM1T! 👊🏼👊🏼

    1. Jess says:

      I loved the “you are not even the best natc you can be” line! Double whammy!

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