Sins of the Empath : Honesty
The sins of the empath. These are the traits which are inherent to those who are of an empathic nature. You possess these traits; this is why you were picked by us. You may wonder why they are regarded as a sin? This is because in our view we consider them to be sins as we do not possess these traits. These traits are regarded, in your world, as laudable traits to have. These traits however make you vulnerable to us. They cause us to be attracted to you in the first instance and the existence of these characteristics means the they are ripe to to be exploited by us.These traits are good traits to have but because of us they become polluted, desecrated and exploited.
You cannot lose these traits. They are as much a part of you as your skin tone and eye colour. They define who you are. You may, unusually, try to rid yourself of them but you cannot. It would be like trying to rip out your own heart and still live. These traits are infused within you. For the most part you will be pleased you possess these characteristics, thankful that they assist you and define you, separate you from being one of us. You ought to be aware however of what these sins are so you know what it is that causes us to home in on you and furthermore how it is that we exploit these sins for our own benefit. With that knowledge you will be able to look to protect the relevant characteristic and ensure it remains intact and is not attacked, shredded or fed upon by us.
The first of these sins is the empathic sin of honesty. James E Faust said of honesty,
“Honesty is more than not lying. It is truth telling, truth speaking, truth living and truth loving.”
This aptly demonstrates how honesty is at the core of how an empath behaves. You utilise this honesty in everything that you do. It governs how you interact with people, how you speak to people and most of all how you conduct your intimate relationships. I am not suggesting that this empathic trait makes you a saint; you will not be above pocketing the excess change if the cashier hands you back too much money or refraining from telling a friend that the outfit they think is wonderful does not really do them too many favours. Your honesty is tempered with discretion and being circumspect when you identify that a lighter touch is required. You understand when being too honest with another is not appropriate. Nevertheless, honesty is of huge importance to you. You regard it as a fundamental factor of your character to act with honesty, both in terms of those you deal with and especially in respect of yourself. This core of honesty and its repeated application to your every day outlook in life makes it ripe for exploitation by us.
The exploitation commences at the seduction. When you engage with people, you have a tendency to allow your emotions and traits to be seen by all. You do not hide the way you feel. You do not operate from behind a mask (not like others you may know of) nor from behind a curtain. You do not cloud your dealings and operate in a shadowy manner but rather you exhibit who you are from the outset. This is of no consequence when you are dealing with your fellow empaths or even the normals but it becomes especially dangerous when you come into out sights. Not only do we have a heightened ability to sense the traits which matter to us, you aid this because your honesty means that you have all your characteristics on display. Just like a proud shopkeeper displaying his wares in a pristine shop window, you exhibit (but you do not flaunt) your inherent traits for the world to see. This means that your empathic and class traits which are so important to us when we target our victims are out in the open because of your honesty. You have an honest default setting. It is akin to having no privacy settings on your social media so that whoever takes an interest in you can see everything about you, everything that you have ever posted, where you live, where you have been, your photographs and so forth. This default setting is important to us as it makes our task of identifying you so much easier. When you are demonstrating those empathic traits through your honesty, they are highlighted, prominent and readily identifiable. Accordingly, if you keep wondering why you always seem to attract our kind, it is because your honesty is causing you to stand out to us.
Your honesty means that you engage with people without an agenda, without suspicion and providing them with the benefit of the doubt. This honesty of approach means that you fall to see those red flags which are fluttering during the seduction and that you fail to hear the blaring klaxons and see the flashing red lights which signal that something is amiss. You operate in an honest way and this causes your thinking to be framed so that you expect and assume that the person you are dealing with is honest towards you. This honesty takes you into the territory of gullibility. Add to this that we are of course not being truthful with you in the way we engage during the seduction and you have little chance of avoiding what we are doing; seducing you and do so effectively.
The inherent honesty which you possess also means that you tell us how you feel and you will do so early in our interactions with you. Since we are engaged in love-bombing you at the outset it is nearly impossible to resist telling us how wonderful it feels and that you have fallen in love with us. Your early declarations in this regard are wanted and expected. Hearing this allows us, along with seeing the relevant indicators, to know that our seduction is proving successful and that you are being embedded. Gaining such knowledge is important for us in terms of ensuring that we have the level of fuel that we want but also in terms of allowing us to bind you closer to us, for instance by asking to borrow money or by moving in together. Your honesty results in your telling us what you are thinking and feeling, which in turn gives us the green lights we require.
Your honesty makes you transparent. You cannot hide anything from us and most importantly of all, you are unable to hide your feelings from us. Thus you will always struggle to hide you joy, your delight, your ecstasy, your pain, your tears, your annoyance and your agony from us. This emotional honesty is fundamental to why we engage with you. This means that the fuel you provide to us is purer that any which might come from another source. Yes, the “normals” will provide us with fuel through being happy to see us, through praising us or annoyed at being messed around by us. Even our own kind will provide fuel to another member of the brethren through exhibiting jealousy, annoyance or anger, but in both these cases there is an absence of emotional honesty which is prevalent with you as an empath. Your emotional honesty creates a fuel which is pure, free from toxins, devoid of pollutants. It is not masked, it has not been shrouded or clouded in some way, as is the case with normals and most certainly with our kind.
By being emotionally honest you ensure that your fuel is the best of all types and naturally this is why we are drawn to you, sink our teeth into you and start to drain you of all that sparkling and pure fuel.
Your honesty makes you a target to begin with, it makes you an easier target to latch onto and the reward of this pure fuel means we want to keep hold of you and keep returning to you to feed on it.
The matter does not of course end there. Your empathic sin of honesty generates further problems for you once the devaluation commences. We are dishonest. We are habitual liars, practitioners of deceit and operate through a skewed lens of fraudulent intent. When we engage in these dishonest practices it mortally offends your innate honesty with the consequence that you respond by providing yet more fuel. This offence to your honesty combined with your honesty drives you to want to make us see the lies that we so readily allow to fall from our deceitful mouths, to have us address our mendacity and recognise what we do. This only serves to bind you to us further.
The honesty you have with your self also means that you have a capacity to be introspective and the consequence of this is that you regularly self-flagellate by blaming yourself when you can find no other answer to our behaviour. The narcissistic perspective and our toxic logic, which are invariably a mystery to our victims means that you fail to understand why we do and say as we do. Your honesty causes you to look inwards and you blame yourself. This fulfils our desire to remain unaccountable and increases the weight of the burden of our engagement with you, upon you. Your honesty causes you to accept blame either where it does not lie with you or in a greater proportion that for which you are culpable.
Your honesty of dealings also prevents you often of speaking of the devaluing abuses outside of your relationship with us. At first, that may seem a contradiction, but you would feel dishonest if you spoke about them to others without informing us first of your intention to do so. You, by this stage, have learned that it is a safer course of action to suffer in silence rather than speak out to us and in turn you will not speak of what is happening to others, not until the pressure has become too great or more likely once you have been discarded by us.
The enduring love you experience for us, or more accurately, your addiction as a consequence of our infecting you, means that when those hoovers come post escape or discard, you are unable to shroud or hide how you truly feel and once more you light up like the brightest beacon. You signal to us that your love (addiction) remains and thus there is yet more fuel to gather and that you are so susceptible to our machinations to pull you back into our grasp once again, be that to extract fuel or to commence the Formal Relationship once again.
We know you are honest. It shines from you and we identify it from the way you conduct yourself and what you say when we target you at the outset. Not only is the identification of this trait confirmation that you possess one of the many traits that we look for, it also confirms that certain actions will succeed and certain responses will take place.
It is often stated that honesty is the best policy. It is certainly a policy that we endorse. It is one of the empath’s sins and with it comes the attention, exploitation and manipulation of our kind.
Unbelievable! Wow! I was the perfect victim, still am apparently, I thought I was free from a Greater, and seem to have attracted a lesser, but with a bite! I did not understand why I was so caught up with this guy that was totally not my typical type, he seemed introverted..WOW.. I am seeing more clearly. I again was manipulated.. I am actually sitting here cringing on the intent. Does make you want to turn a different cheek, and not be honest or open at all! WHOO.. I feel so assaulted after reading this.. Hoping not giving you that extra fuel.. LOL.. well there it is.. last fuel I will be giving to the kind..
Miss A. Unbelievable and Wow, are 2 words I use a lot on this site. 🙂
I always projected my trait of honesty on to everyone else. I won’t be doing that in the future.
Me too
There is a difference between being honest and truthful.
One can be “honest “ and call it a white lie to keep one comfortable, why the red flags are ignored. Durning the “love bombing” stage one admits to loving the person….this is a white lie and one to keep one comfortable then to actually admit to themselves they feel lust for the other person. Society has conditioned people to confuse lust and love. Lust is easy and feels amazing, love is a choice and action one makes.
For the most part I am bluntly truthful and many of those around me will not only be shocked yet say “What the hell Twilight” sometimes I explain my why, sometimes I don’t and let them discover things on their own.
I have gone out to lunch numerous occasions and those with me won’t pay for their drinks yet grab a cup and ask me if I really did pay for my drink, my response is it is stealing, just because many are doesn’t mean I will. They now pay for their drinks at least when they are with me. Did I judge them, no. They judged themselves and changed.
Everything you do has a repercussion be it a positive or a negative, we all choose our paths, yet we are not responsible for the actions or choices another makes.
Honestly is a must for me I hate being lied to destroys my trust I don’t lie not even to save myself
This tells me so much. Yes it rings quite accurate HG. It’s also interesting how these traits do indeed become dampened as you’ve mentioned on the blog and then they again proliferate wildly when away from the realm of abusive behaviors. Right and wrong can get so lost when in survival mode. I’d rather stay out of survival mode—never re-visit it and be what my innate capacity is to truly be. The issue—not being ensnared and it is easier said than done because I’m finding it’s not just romantic entanglements. I’ve been a sitting duck my entire life for people with miserable possibilities.
Would you agree that empaths are just as much to blame for “narcissism” as the narcissist? Since empaths and narcissist create/breed more empaths and narcissist. The empaths almost never leave the narcissist despite the pain they cause their family/friends/ loved ones through their often desperate need for love from a narcissist. If they somehow muster the strength to put others needs above their need for love, it’s often too late. Reading the comments on your blog, I often feel just as grossed out by the brainwashed empaths who ignore the truth written right in front of their faces as much as I’m repulsed by what you are. Would you agree you’re opposites but allow/do the same harm. And are powered by each other?
Empaths are not to blame for narcissism, but it is a symbiotic relationship.
Of course, for the purposes of manipulation we blame you for everything so of course it would be deemed yo be your fault.