My Point of View


One of the most powerful (from my perspective) and troubling (from your perspective) is the fact that my kind and me appear to act without any regard to logic. We appear to delight in ensnaring people by pretending to be something that we are not even though it seems completely genuine. We cause people to fall completely in love with us and then apparently turn on them, lashing out at them and hurting them. Indeed, we seem to delight in causing pain and chaos to everyone around us and we show no concern at such conduct. We behave in such a hypocritical fashion, chastising you for doing something and then doing the very same thing ourselves. We say one thing and do so with utter conviction and then in the next breath say something completely contradictory yet seem not to realise what we just done. We act with impunity, taking at will and with no concern for what anybody else may suffer as a consequence of our actions. The list is long and worrisome. Trying to fathom out why we behave in this manner leaves you bewildered, exhausted, defeated and broken. This is all of course intentional. We behave in this manner in order to wear you down, provoke reactions from you and most of all so that you provide us with our precious fuel. Our apparent disregard for logic and reason causes massive consternation to you and your kind. This is because you are ruled by order and the need to understand. It is woven into your DNA and anything which deviates from this creates a significant problem for you. Our behaviour makes no sense to you for one simple reasons. You are looking at the way we behave through your world view. You are imposing your values and your outlook on what we do. Why should it be the case that your world view should be regarded as the only one? Why should the way you look at the world be considered as the correct way of doing so? When did you become the arbiter of all? This is the high-handed arrogance which proves the undoing of your kind. Oh you will wail to anyone who will listen at how monstrous you have been treated, how we are evil people and the spawn of Satan. You sit in so-called support forums on the internet decrying our behaviour, writing page after page about what has happened to you and how horrendous you have been treated. All about you isn’t it? Oh I can hear your howls of protest now, at how you are a good person and that you do not hurt anyone. Do you not? How then is it that you injure me with your failure to behave consistently. You call me for it yet you are just as guilty if in fact not more so. You promise me so much at the outset and then you change the way that you behave so you do not give me what you once did. I do not change. I shine and dazzle and soar, but you make it all change, why do you do it? This failure hurts me as you reduce my fuel and force me to punish you for it. You force me to seek it from other sources when I would much rather keep obtaining it from you. You call into question my abilities and criticise me notwithstanding just how that behaviour wounds me. You hold yourself our as caring and considerate yet you do me these injustices. You hide behind your mask of empathy, telling the world you are the good person, the caring person and the one that looks our others yet this is just a ruse in order to wound me and my kind after everything we have done.

Perhaps if you stopped looking at the world from your own perspective and looked at it from mine you would start to understand. You talk so often about showing compassion and your ability to put yourself in the place of other people. Why do you not do this with me? You tell me you love me. I read about how many of you declare you loved my kind and me in a way that went beyond anything you had shown before. Sometimes I wonder. If you loved us in the way you say that you do, then why can you not put yourself in our shoes and then understand what it is we have to deal with. If you did this, you would start to see that our behaviour is completely understandable. It makes absolute sense when viewed from our perspective and not yours. I see no reason why you should not try this and then you will have gained considerable insight into why we behave as we do and then, should you still deem what we do as unacceptable then you can at least understand it and take evasive action can’t you? You will not have to decry us to all who will listen whilst and I think it is only right that I make this point, you are not helping yourself by wallowing in this moaning and self-pity and surrounding yourself with others who behave in a similar fashion. Providing blow by blow accounts of what we do in order to elicit sympathy but then asking why does he do this and why does he do that, is not getting you the answer because you are asking the wrong people. Ask me instead and I will tell you; view the world through our eyes and everything will make sense. It all comes down to one small word; fuel. That is why we act as we do. That is why we do the things we do and say the things we say and once you comprehend that it is all about fuel you will be looking at the world through our eyes and finally it will all make sense. Go on try it. I dare you or would you rather sit and milk sympathy and never move forward? Don’t say I never gave you the chance.

6 thoughts on “My Point of View

  1. Ashley says:

    hg – First off, thank you for providing us all with a forum where we can not only learn directly from you but also learn from your interaction and answers to others. I was reading your response to Victoria and I am wondering if you think that co worker of hers would get fuel from being set up or it would be wounding because its basically assuming he can’t get his own dates.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are welcome Ashley. With regard to the circumstances concerning Victoria’s co-worker it would be necessary for you to provide me with the details as I do not see the previous comments in my moderation pane and I do not have the time to go and find them, so I can then answer you.

  2. HSM says:

    Quotation: “You are looking at the way we behave through your world view”
    Yes, that’s right and it’s a common mistake. But that’s also applicable for most of the people in this world, from all kinds. It’s a natural mistake, not an intended one, and it’s extended worldwide. Yes, pears are not mistaken apples and vice versa.
    Quotation: “Perhaps if you stopped looking at the world from your own perspective and looked at it from mine you would start to understand … Why do you not do this with me?”
    Why not? The answer is simple: because we have no natural way to read a mind with such a different configuration. All we may do is learning about it, as here in your blog, but we cannot find out that stuff by ourselves. We have no way or sense to imagine the logic of your kind. We can see you from outside, but not from inside. All we can do about is rejecting it.
    I’ve got two narcs in my family. I have spent a lot of years trying to understand anything, and understanding nothing at all. I have only been able to achieve it through books, blogs, and so on. All this material has come to me many years after I’m under No-Contact with them, by recovering my huge bag of memories. But I never got it in real time.

  3. Victoria says:

    Hg, why would a narc guy not want to be set up? One of my co workers is 40 and everytime anyone tries to set him up with anyone even really good looking and smart women he always turns them down.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Because he does not need to be set up. The Prime Aims are already being met through others.

  4. Veronique Jones says:

    Actually that is what I do now I hold no judgement over any of the narcissists in my life I understand they have reasons for being the way they are I forgive them for what they have done but that doesn’t mean that I have to keep putting up with that seeing it from your point of view does make it so easy to understand your actions and words much more but it also gives us the power to move on without you ,without guilt, without fear and without self-respect intact I totally agree with you as far as wallowing in self pity it doesn’t get anywhere you can love someone and not be around them and sometimes you have to/ I actually feel sorry for your kind you need us more than we need you

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