A Letter to the Narcissist – No. 35


You know what I miss?  I miss hanging out with you watching SNL, Colbert, and hilarious movies, drinking fabulous California Cabs or intriguing French wines. Smoking some weed now and then.  I miss stimulating conversation. I miss our conversations full of wit and feeling like we really connected.   I miss hearing how gorgeous and sexy I am. I miss making fires with you in the chiminea. I miss you taking care of me. I miss R****’s joyful greeting of you. I miss your car in my driveway. I miss your presence. I miss the good ways you made me feel.  I miss your sweet texts. I don’t miss the others.

I miss the way you looked at me and how that look made me feel so, oh so secure.  I miss seeing you at my concerts. I miss you in my house, on my couch, in my kitchen, bathroom, and I miss you in my bed. I miss the Paseo house! You TOLD me that was mine! I miss you all over. I knew all along you were dishonest.

Being a super Empath, I sooooo wanted to believe in you and “our love”. I tried harder with you than my past narcs. You truly showed me the love I’m capable of.  You showed me MY LOVE. You showed me yourself early on. I think the first test was when you called to me to say you broke my Mom’s cake dish. I know now that you were testing me. You didn’t really break it. You wanted my reaction. When *odi called me to warn me while you stayed with me 17 days during storm sandy, (who I now know is a tranny…)  then you took me to NYC to a fabulous Jazz concert staying at the W.  only to phone me after you drop me home to call and scream at me for being on POF. Weren’t you? I mean, how’d you know?  And…??? Anyway, I emailed you next day… hey you’re gf called me… Hoover Hoover Hoover… back up and running… for 5 years.

In one way I thank you for showing what was missing. It’s not you. It was me. I was missing. I can’t believe I still cry over you. Truth is, I’m still crying over me. No worries.

As painful as this has been, my destination will be sublime. The day I don’t ache for you will come. When I genuinely heal my innermost wounds I will not desire you nor will you enter my thoughts. For you are my wounds.
PS:  thanks for all the diamonds. enjoying selling them off

4 thoughts on “A Letter to the Narcissist – No. 35

  1. It Depends says:

    I love ❤️ this letter. Thank you for posting!

    1. Peaceful says:

      Thank you💕 I’m just seeing your comment now. I’m nearly 4 years post discard and I predicted well. My life is sublime sans narc. Thanks to HG I have remained Narc free ever since.

      1. HG Tudor says:

        Good to read.

      2. NarcAngel says:

        Inspiring for those who are new or still struggling and rewarding to read for those still here cheering others on. All the best to you and thank you for posting your update.

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