Frequently Asked Questions
I have been asked tens of thousands of questions, on this blog. There are, of course, certain questions which are asked repeatedly and in order to save my fingers and to save you waiting for a response on the blog (and possibly not receiving one because I have answered the question so many times before) here are a number of questions which are frequently asked and my answers to them.
About HG Tudor
I would like to know more about your personal story. Is there a bio or description of you somewhere? Which of your books speak about you?
No, I have not written a bio about me because I prefer for you to form your own impression and view from the various pieces that I write. Moreover, I have written about my life throughout articles and my books. These pieces give you insight into how I think and behave, but also provide glimpses into my life as well (family, education, treatment, partners, etc).
The books Fuel, Fury, the Confessions of a Narcissist series and the alliterative titles (“Adored and Abhorred”,” Beautiful and Barbaric” etc include passages of my life. There are plenty more revelations to come though.
How old are you?
Old enough to know, young enough to do.
Are you married? Do you have children?
Neither. I was married once.
Do you hate women? Are male narcissists misogynists?
No, I hate everyone equally. All appliances are there to be manipulated, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, religion etc. We are equal opportunity manipulators.
Do you ever genuinely like people you are in relationships with? Do you feel any respect for them or care about them at all?
I like people in a way which is genuine to me, but you would not regard it as genuine as I like them to serve my purposes.
I can exhibit a form of care, such as I protect my assets, but only because again it benefits me. I am not altruistic.
Have you ever pursued another narcissist romantically?
Not to become IPPS, no.
How is it that you have so much self-awareness?
Intelligence, natural ability, discipline, drive, access to information.
How do you have so much insight into people?
Intelligence, natural ability, discipline, drive, access to information, necessity.
Do you believe in God or a higher power?
No, but I do when it suits my purposes.
Do you believe people have souls and, if so, where do you think your soul goes after death? Do you believe in the afterlife? Do you believe in heaven and hell?
No, but I do when it suits my purposes. When you die, that’s it. Game over. There is no afterlife. Unless, as I mentioned, it suits my purposes.
Do you believe in psychic ability or demonic possession and exorcism? Do you believe in the Jezebel spirit?
No, I don´t. Narcissism has nothing to do with those things.
Do you fear death?
No.
Are you struggling with aging?
Not in the slightest.
Do you and your kind ever worry that you will end up alone, that eventually fuel sources will be wary and pull away, and that new ones will not be as exciting or interested? Do narcissists ever settle, or do they keep chasing new conquests until the end? Or nothing of that is a concern?
No, that does not concern me, but there are those of our kind who do have some concerns about this happening. It is not so much the fact that new ones are not as exciting and interested – there are so many potential victims out there, running out of them is not the problem –, the problem is that for some of our kind being able to attract them may become an issue. This is linked to aging and the waning of powers. For more about this, see the two articles Time and the Narcissist.
What is your worldview that makes you want to empower empaths? Why are you doing what you are doing and helping empaths?
Hegemonic domination and omnipotence. I do this because I enjoy writing and have been encouraged to share my knowledge as part of the treatment that has been forced upon me. I like to interact with people, too. I want to be the number one source for the reality of how my kind think and behave. I also find the weaponising of empaths and having them go into battle with my kind entirely in accordance with my worldview.
It seems you were “forced” into therapy. Being a narcissist, how would anyone have the power over you to force you into it? What exactly do you get out of therapy and what is the main purpose of it?
This is part of my manipulation of my family. They wanted me to undergo treatment. I refused. This has happened repeatedly. I wanted to secure my inheritance and I wanted to avoid a regulatory and criminal investigation which, whilst predicated on lies, would be an unwelcome distraction to me. In order to secure those aims, I knew I could do so by entering into therapy. Thus, I am securing what I want by agreeing to the treatment. I, of course, am finding the treatment interesting (after all what is better than to spend an hour or two each week or thereabouts talking about me?) and advantageous in understanding myself. Of course, I explain I was forced to do it as that is the victim in me, something all my kind have.
The main purpose of my treatment is to understand why I am the way I am, what happened to me to create what I am today, how my behaviour comes to be and what effect it has on others, to examine my need for fuel, control, to blame and manipulate and whether that can be addressed in some way, to reconcile the issues which are becoming evident from my childhood and to encourage me to adopt a pattern of behaviour and an outlook which is apparently healthier for all concerned.
The treatment has also led to my writing and this blog, which I enjoy. It has of course allowed me to hone my skills which I am most grateful for. Another win.
Do you manipulate here on the blog?
I have no need to manipulate here, indeed it would run contrary to what I have created and what I wish to achieve.
You are helping people. Do you also strive to help those in your private life?
Only where I see doing so would benefit me.
Do you get fuel from the comments on your blog and elsewhere?
As stated in the About section (https://narcsite.com/about/), I do not do this for fuel. I do gain some fuel from the comments but, since those who comment are tertiary sources (see the book Fuel for more information on this), it is not significant. I gain far more fuel in my interactions in my private life.
Do you enjoy being a narcissist?
Yes, I do because I am very good at it and it is rewarding.
Have you ever wanted to be an empath and feel joy and love?
I feel joy and love towards me from others. I do not experience them myself and have no need of doing so.
Which is your zodiac sign?
Virgo
About Narcissists
I think I am with a narcissist. Which of your many books should I start with in order to learn about what I am dealing with?
I recommend a Narc Detector consultation. Also read Manipulated, Fuel and Fury.
I would like to know more about the different types of narcissists you write about (Lesser, Mid-Range, Greater, Elite, Somatic, etc). Where can I find that information?
To understand more about the types of narcissist, I recommend you read the book Sitting Target. You can then work your way through the blog using the search function and read the articles which provide more detailed information on a specific type of narcissist.
How do you identify which school and cadre of narcissist you’re dealing with?
I’ve read already the information on this blog but I still can’t put my finger on which type I’m dealing with.
The best is to do a Narc Detector Consultation with me. Book a Narc Detector Consultation
Can a narcissist change school or cadre?
No
Do narcissists ever get depressed and/or commit suicide? My narcissist talks about suicide.
Yes, albeit this is rare. See the Suicide Power Play in the book No Contact for more on this.
Do narcissists ever cry without the intention to manipulate? I have seen mine cry and I think it was sincere.
I do not cry but some of our kind do. They cry for themselves because they feel sorry for themselves, not for anybody else.
Does the narcissist hoover if the IPPS left them, cheated on them and even called them out on their narcissism?
The narcissist will hoover if there is a Hoover Trigger (of which there is always a risk) and if the Hoover Execution Criteria (HEC) are met. To know more about Hoover Triggers and the HEC, please read Surely that is the End, Yes? (Will There be A Hoover?)
The factors you refer to :-
- Leaving the narcissist – this wounds the narcissist. However, dependent on your position within the fuel matrix and the fuel needs of the narcissist, this is likely to cause the narcissist to apply an Initial Grand Hoover to get you back under control.
- Cheating on the narcissist – this wounds the narcissist and pushes the hoover bar upwards.
- Accusation of narcissism – this most likely will have been Challenge Fuel and therefore will lower the hoover bar.
There are many factors which are applicable in the HEC, not just the ones mentioned above, which impact on the prospects of being hoovered. I can tell you how one single factor will influence the hoover bar (moving it high or low) BUT that one factor cannot be viewed in splendid isolation. There will be other factors which could override that factor one way or the other.
The best thing to do if you want to know whether a hoover will happen (and what you can do to prevent it) is to consult with me. This is because I need information from you (more than can be conveyed in a comment on the blog) and also because you may not know all of the information you need to give to me for me to give you in return, the accurate answer you need and deserve. This is why I created the consultations, so I can ask you the questions, you can give me full information and then I can give you the most accurate answers and the best assistance you will ever receive.
What is a Malign Hoover?
It is when the Hoover seeks only to draw negative fuel
Can you make a hoover happen?
Yes, you can. If you want it to happen, you are best designing a way to enter one of our spheres of influence but understand, for the reasons outlined above, it may not happen when you want it to, but it will at some point. After all, in accordance with our total desire for control, we want the hoover to be when we decide, not you.
What would be the response of a Mid-Range Narcissist when reading your blogs?
They would believe the behaviours they read about apply to the true victim and they would likely label that person the narcissist.
About Empaths
Can an empath change schools or cadre?
No.
I don´t know what school and cadre of empath I belong to. I seem to have traits of different schools and cadres. How can I know the school and cadre I belong to?
The easiest way to know is that you organise an Empath Detector consultation with me Book an Empath Detector Consultation
Other
I posted a comment some days/weeks ago and it is still not showing on the blog. What is wrong?
All posts are moderated first, which means that when you post something it will not appear on the blog immediately. This is an interactive blog. Accordingly, I like to read everything and try to respond to all questions that are asked (although time does not always allow me to do so). I also have to ensure nothing gratuitously offensive is posted between commenters, or people include details which will identify them. I get hundreds of comments and questions a day and, since I am an Army of One, posts can remain in moderation for a while, especially if they are long and/or contain questions that require consideration.
31 thoughts on “Frequently Asked Questions”
Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)
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I agree that knowledge is power and I have been reading a lot about narcissism to gain some sort of understanding of the vicious whirlwind or Tornado I got caught up in.
Ghosted at my most vulnerable point in life no thanks to the narc, who falls under the lesser spectrum of narcissism, and not one Hoover in sight falling short of just a month of being a year since I last seen him.
I still want to. And as retarded as it may seem to say that knowing full well of everything he has put me through, I miss the illusion of the character he portrayed as my perfect love interest.
And I don’t hate him. I still have not got to a point where I am angry enough to hate him despite how he broke me in every single way where I thought about ending my life yet I crave having him around.
Instead I hate myself.
Hi HG, I’m sure you will agree that the over-riding tone of your answers is arrogance, being a universal trait of your kind. There’s no need for another God when you are fulfilling that role so well yourself!😅
Problem is, self gets sick and self dies …😞
Not arrogance, simply right.
Lol, simply always right. Breaking News: HG officially proclaims there is no (other) God!😅😅😅
HG doesn’t view God as competition, because he doesn’t believe in one.
HG, however, is the One, True Narc, and we shall have no other narcs before him.
You assert your position most strongly, Violetta. That is to be commended.
Personally, I like to assert my Superority by allowing silly Somatics to squeak on my FB profile.
I might have set an, ahem, unflattering post via a vis John Horner to Public.
I’m sure he’ll tuck that little white fluffy tail between his improbably toight butt cheeks.
Meanwhile, I cannot stop laughing.
Dear Mr Tudor,
20/10 for this🏅 😊
Looking forward to the one on shieldmaiden
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
As a super Empath, you have given me through your works, the weapons to fight my Narc. It has been the most fun I have had in years! All done in my absence and via third parties. I have come to the conclusion that he is an Elite Narcassist, handsome and charming but turning into a vicious cobra in seconds. I have confused the hell out of him as he doesn’t know where the missiles are coming from having so many women in his harem. Thank you HG, you saved my life.
You are welcome Bonnielou, well done and do spread the word.
There seems to be some disconnect between some of your answers and what you’ve said about narcissists which makes me think you’re either being delusional or str8 up lying. No need to comment on this observation, as I won’t truth your answer either way.
No, there is not.
Truth is a noun.
Hi HG,
I hope you’re well.
Regarding change –
You have repeatedly told us that narcissists cannot change.
You have also told us that empaths cannot change school/cadre.
I was wondering then, WHAT can an empath actually change about themselves? And is the ability to change linked to the school/cadre (i.e. is it easier for a super empath to modify their behaviour than it is for a co-dependent – or for a carrier than it is for a geyser)?
Change requires awareness and great discipline, so maybe it would be more difficult for some empaths than it is for others?
Finally, unable to resist my urge to compliment you every time, I would like to emphasise how much light your teachings shed onto human behaviour (which is one of my fixations). That is why I LOVE your blog. And your interviews. And your books.
My Geyser minority would want me to enter a bookshop, grab all the stupid books they sell about self-help, throw them to the floor and tear them to pieces. ALL of them. Hahaha.
Thank you EmP.
1. The empath cannot change what he or she is, this cannot be done and moreover, why should it be done?
2. The empath has to change thoughts, actions and behaviours. Some might say “why should we? Why should we have to change to deal with the narcissist?” and it is a fair question and one which merits a detailed response which will be provide in an upcoming article on the subject.
3. The empath changes by increased knowledge also.
4. Any empath which adopts the mindset of rigidity with regard to thought and behaviour is heading for defeat.
HG, thank you very much for the detailed response! I can’t wait to find out more about point n.2.
Dearest HG: I am enjoying the changes that I am making in myself with your knowledge. I am much, much smarter and wiser. The feeling to me, is invigorating. There is power in knowledge. My ignorance did not bring me bliss in this dynamic.
I look forward to the article you point out in #2. I have been thinking for weeks that I don’t think it’s necassary for us to feel bad about who we are… the world desperately needs our kind. And furthermore if the narcissits thinks they don’t need to change then quite frankly… neither do we. We just need to learn how to spot and avoid your kind 😂 lol.
I think maybe what you’re bringing out here HG is that our strengths, when pushed to excess, become our weaknesses. I would not want to change being an empath per se -it brings me joy and gives me meaning – but tone it down.
Jesus had some pretty good things to say about this: be as gentle as a dove and as wise as a serpent. And guard your heart, because from it spring the issues of life. Wise words from a very wise man.
Virgo??!!
I would not have guessed that.
Though, if I think about it, it probably is a factor in your being a Greater.
Virgo, of course!!! Explains the meticulous attention to detail. Makes perfect sense.
Many thanks to you and to the reader for compiling information and adding this useful tool to your site.
You are welcome.
Great questions and answers!
This is an excellent and accurate piece for all who visit here. Fantastic effort and many thanks to whomever took the time to compile this highly useful addition!
Clear, concise, informative…what a wonderful gesture by one of your readers and excellent of you to provide this, HG. I hope it frees you up to do more of your work here and elsewhere.
Also, that was news to me regarding the book titles with alliteration. Good to know!
This was much needed HG, believe it or not, there was actually one or two things on here I didn’t know. K you should probably keep this article close by, in a few months when new people come aboard you can go directly to it. 😘🙃
You are welcome FM1T. A reader (who is content to remain nameless) assisted in its compilation. It can be found in the Menu Bar so the Tudor Digits should be saved and utilised instead for:-
1. The production of new material; and
2. Responding to legitimate queries from sensible readers.
Fool Me 1 Time approves! 🤣🙃
HG
An excellent addition to the site and one we can point others to. Thank both you and your unnamed (and much appreciated) assistant.
You are welcome.
NarcAngel
I agree. Thanks to both the reader and HG. It was a fabulous idea and I can delete some notes that were on standby.
foolme1time
Ha ha ha…this article is a riot! I will definitely be directing people to this one. New and old.