Acting Up -Using An Appliance’s Trait Against Them






I recall one occasion when a particularly upset girlfriend of mine, Hannah, descended into one of her typical fits of hysteria. Hannah was an actress. She had been involved in acting since she was a teenager and had also appeared in a Royal Shakespeare Company production of Hamlet. She played Ophelia. I found this rather apt. She loses her mind over the Prince of Denmark and drowns. Typical self-centred response. Poor Hamlet. His father dies and his mother shacks up with his uncle. Not only this but his uncle murdered his father and has taken the throne of Denmark leaving Hamlet cast adrift and mired in woe. His girlfriend Ophelia is meant to support him but what does she do? She gets all worked up about Hamlet telling her “Get thee to a nunnery” and climbs a willow tree and falls in the water below and drowns. I found Hannah to be prone to such similar histrionics. I put it down to her being an actress and her desire for everything to be achieved in one take.

She was meticulous in her preparation for her acting. At first, I would help her and play the other parts to help her learn her lines. She was so grateful for my support in this regard, remarking how hard it was to find someone willing to do this and so often. If truth be told, I revelled in it. Not only was her gratitude all good fuel, I am of course something of the actor myself and the opportunity to grab the script and play a part was something I enjoyed. I did not pay much attention to Hannah’s delivery, only listening to what she was saying so I knew when to speak my lines. I was too concerned with ensuring I delivered a masterful performance. This would often draw praise from Hannah and she commented on a number of occasions that I appeared to have missed my calling. I was in agreement.

Of course, over time I grew tired of her repeated declarations of how good my deliver was and I began to look for ways to irritate and annoy her. I knew she put so much effort into her rehearsals and preparation because she wanted the final performance to be outstanding. Whether it was filming for a TV show (she has appeared in a couple of rather good British television dramas) or a stage production of a famous play, her performance had to be the best. I often gained the impression that she was doing this in order to outshine me. I may not be recognised as much as Hannah but that did not mean that what she did was better or more important than what I did. Quite the opposite. She needed to be reminded who was the leader and superior mind in our coupling. I began at first to fluff lines or speak when it was her turn to say her line which drew sighs of exasperation. I delighted in her irritation as I knew that it would soon become annoyance and she would erupt into one of her tirades. I would jump places in the script, says words incorrectly, use the wrong tone for questions and statements and then I began to hide her scripts so she could not practise. A meltdown was inevitable and foolishly she aimed all of this at me. I just continued to make comments that would keep her in frenzy. You would be surprised to see this waif-like lady who usually is the picture of serenity on television react in the way she did. My goodness, did she have a foul mouth on her.

I rarely got angry with her. Her performances were so gratifying and amusing that I just could not generate a spark, even when she was blaming me. It was actually easier to keep trying to get it right and purposefully messing it up again. Several times I had to exit the room under the pretence of being upset so I could lock myself in the bathroom and stuff my hand into my mouth as I collapsed in paroxysms of mirth, her shrill voice echoing through the house.

The occasion that entertained me the most and which I began this post by recalling was when she was rehearsing her part for a six part dark drama that was part of a major channel’s autumn drama selection. It was a fantastic piece of writing and Hannah had a chunky part. I got her so worked up and histrionic as I messed about, murmured the lines, said sections incorrectly and so on that she erupted into one of her fits. As the insults flowed I drank the fuel she poured over me and then she made a strange croak and gripped her throat. Feigning interest, I went to her side and she pointed at her throat, eyes filling with tears. It transpired that she had badly strained her vocal chords and a doctor instructed her to rest them completely. She could not rehearse and was unlikely to be ready for filming. The producers replaced her with another actress and dismayed by her fall from such a prestigious production, I sought out somebody else to entertain me.

8 thoughts on “Acting Up -Using An Appliance’s Trait Against Them

  1. Bubbles 🍾 says:

    Dear Mr Tudor,
    I’m more of a wake up to people’s game playing now
    I try to observe them, see what kind of response or reaction they are anticipating and see the games begin

    I just sit back and watch
    I’m so stoic now …. I’m boring as hell …. I won’t engage at all
    At least I know what I’m dealing with
    I have a numbness about me now, sometimes I think I can’t feel anything …… oh no, spoke too soon ….. there it is 😂

    Poor dear Hannah….. you were very mean n nasty ….. she ain’t ever gonna forget you …. interesting story dynamics and reflection of ones self
    Thank you
    Luv Bubbles xx 😘

  2. Claudia says:

    This is one year for me since I found this blog. I know you’re technically evil but I’m still grateful to have had one of you on my side, so to speak. When the narc who tried with me resurfaced this year, it was different. When it showed up unexpectedly in a public space, I didn’t cry or run. I smirked. I expressed a condescension towards its fashion choices. It made confused expressions at me. It said all the old phrases. It even begged. For the first time I saw what I was dealing with. I didn’t get hoovered. I didn’t allow further contact. I doubt the outcome would have been the same had I not read your writings. So, thanks for this. Best wishes to everyone here on your journey.

  3. /iroll says:

    Ophelia represents eros in the form of melancholy (apocalyptic), the opposite-other to Hamlet’s narcissistic depression of self-referential sameness (inferno). She is able to not be able (transcends material powers that de-eroticises people, keeps them primal, turns them into addicts, etc.).

    When narcissists sing of love, it is tone-deaf (unable to perceive differences of musical pitch accurately).

    You played a tone-deaf symphony together!

  4. Abw Flying says:

    I have a dark sense of humour and so I’m laughing out loud!

  5. Nymphedora says:

    I’m sorry to admit it, but I actually sat here while reading it thinking “she does really not sound like a very nice person.” Even knowing that you did it on purpose to get a rise out of her. But still.

    Do you mind if I ask what kind of empath she was?
    I mean reading what you have written about empaths, is it then not rare to find one acting like you descibe her? Foul mouth and all?

  6. empath007 says:

    Making a Drama Queen act like a Drama Queen? BORING.

    Come on HG… you can do better hahahaha.

    1. Nicole Vallianatos says:

      I enjoy your stories. You are horrible.

      1. HG Tudor says:

        Fair enough. Accurate on both fronts, although I can be delightful too where necessary!

Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Next article

What To Do?