The House of Tudor

Knowing The Narcissist Profile Picture

Salutations Weaponised Empaths!

You asked. I delivered.

Enter the House of Tudor

491 thoughts on “The House of Tudor

  1. Claire says:

    The taller the better for me. I can’t stand a weak no muscle man either. Getting tossed around a little is a nice fringe benefit in a relationship!

  2. nunya biz says:

    SP, that comment made me snort.

  3. Kiki says:

    Personally I don’t think tops with I am a super empath emblazoned on front would look that great.
    It would be like wearing a shirt that says I am great etc .A bit weird.

    The ones HG has done are fab as they reflect the experience not I am this that etc.

    It is enough to know what you are if you are a super empath ,no need to show the world everything and some might see it as a bit egotistical and odd.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Wait and see what comes Kiki, but I understand what you state as a general principle

      1. Kiki says:

        Thank you HG

        I think the products you have are great


  4. lisk says:

    Maybe someone already mentioned this, but I really need a mug that says “GOSO,” perhaps designed with GO on the first line and SO directly underneath it. I’d buy that in an instant.

  5. ava101 says:

    You really didn’t forget the socks!! And I love the pillows.

  6. EmP says:

    Could we have some I❤️HG merchandise one day? You know, like the NY one.
    Autographed items?

  7. Narc noob says:

    Holy Moly. Now I understand the phrase that Ns don’t do things in halves! Ha ha.

    Now my fussy nature and eco friendly mind must ask about the what fabric they are made from?

    Oh, and I see they are all in AUD not USD, correct?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      In the currency of the purchaser

      1. Narc noob says:

        Thanks HG. I sometimes think after I ask a question. After I commented I realised it would be the currency of the purchaser. Duh.

    2. NarcAngel says:

      All I know is: I’ve been in this bloody dungeon for a couple of years since this venture was first mentioned with a spinning wheel and a mountain of the finest of empath hair.

      1. Kiki says:

        You are so funny NA ,love it 😂

  8. Renarde says:

    These are awesome HG. I’m having a bit of trouble trying to work out what to go for. Whilst I do that, I have a few suggestions as to logos for you.

    Who pinched your bagel?
    I hate James Cordon
    HG Tudor certified Empath – for those that have done the E detector
    Back the fuck out of my Sphere 1

    For my SE chums

    No, I’m not a fucking narcissist you tosser
    SuperEmpath and Proud
    Don’t make me Supernova!

    Serious note – car stickers.

  9. IdaNoe says:


  10. Anm says:

    No merch on Super Empath, Empath Super Nova, Seizing the Power, or I Divorced a Narcissist All I Got Was This Lousy Tshirt. ?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Patience. Plenty to be getting on with in the meanwhile.

      1. NarcAngel says:

        An arm!!

        Someone call a medic and search the tower. MB is sure to have fallen and can’t get up.

        1. Desirée says:

          I kept trying to remember who requested the arm! Dreams do come true after all! What would we like next? I’m curious as to what socks he wears…

        2. MB says:

          NA, it’s a good thing my heart is healthy. That was almost too much first thing this morning!

        3. Sweetest Perfection says:

          NA, I’m more mesmerized by the plane dashboard.This will make me completely paranoid every time I fly now, thinking HG is piloting. Talk about ever presence!

          1. NarcAngel says:


            Why would you be paranoid? If HG is the pilot he is carrying precious cargo – himself. You can rest assured he wants to land the plane safely if only for himself and his reputation. Thats one of those residual benefits we enjoy.

            Is it a plane? I thought it might be a ship.

          2. MB says:

            I thought it was a helicopter 🚁

            But it could be the Starship Enterprise for all I know. Kinda looked like the control room for the space shuttles. Houston! We have a problem!

          3. Sweetest Perfection says:

            MB, it is. It actually is the Death Star 👾

          4. Sweetest Perfection says:

            NA, I would not be scared of landing safely, quite the opposite. I would be paranoid checking every pilote and first officer from now on to find out what HG looks like! I’m not an expert but I don’t think ships have levers in the middle, I’m almost sure this is an aircraft’s cockpit.

          5. SMH says:

            SP, Lou – Looks like loo roll/toilet paper where the shift thing should be. Also looks like a very old cockpit. I actually think it is a rocket rather than a plane. Maybe HG is an astronaut. I always thought of MRN as one.

          6. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Pilot. Who the heck invented autocorrect? I’m sure it was a narc wanting to take gaslighting to the next level!

          7. Lou says:

            Looks like a plane to me NA.

          8. Sweetest Perfection says:

            I used to date a military pilot so I remember a few things. He was gorgeous but way too tall, when we walked together I felt like a little ball hanging from the Christmas tree. Apparently his height was at the limit for being accepted to the air academy.

          9. Lou says:

            SP. I have never dated a pilot but I have seen plane cockpit controls in films. And I know HG can fly an airplane. He’s said it before.

          10. Claire says:

            I had a pilot roommate I used to watch Friends with all the time! He hated me.

          11. K says:

            It’s the Death Star and wasn’t Tigerchelle a virgin?!

          12. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Jinx! I thought the same, K!

          13. K says:

            Sweetest Perfection
            Ha ha ha….exactly, what else could it possibly be!

          14. NarcAngel says:

            Pfft…How many guys do you know that would put up with that and for that long without being able to nut?

          15. Claire says:

            Where is Tigerchelle?

          16. K says:

            On another blog, hopefully.

          17. Claire says:

            She once made her gravatar a photo of her arms sliced up. I was totally new and was really upset I was with a bunch of fruit cakes!

          18. K says:

            No fruit cakes here, just the mutants from Table No-9 (Wedding Singer).

          19. Claire says:

            K—an acquaintance has her psychology doctorate and I mentioned the whole thing about borderlines perhaps being basically narcissists and she was more captivated by the emotions associated with “fear of abandonment.” Maybe it is fear of a fuel crisis! They don’t know why they feel so vacant when “abandoned” but it’s a fuel depletion. (??) Food for thought.

          20. K says:

            There are two females that I know, who are diagnosed BPD, but, based on their behaviour, I think that they are NPD. They don’t know what they are so what they think is fear of abandonment is most likely a fear of loss of control/fuel and the void.

          21. HG Tudor says:


          22. K says:

            Thank you, I am trying to equivocate less and apply what I have learned, in both my online and offline observations.

          23. Claire says:

            Similar here—it was a man though interestingly enough dx’d with BPD.

          24. Claire says:

            Oh there are some fruit cakes—I’m sure I add to the mix in some way. Just not to that extent. I have plenty of dysfunction.

        4. Desirée says:

          Re: precious cargo
          I just choked on my drink. Here’s a benefit of narcissism I hadn’t previously considered. I am suprised however that he’s not sitting in the left seat since we all know he’s our captain.

          1. FYC says:

            Boat/ship controls are on the starboard (right) side. I think Admiral Tudor is a good fit 😉

          2. Presque Vu says:

            You can tell by the screen it’s a plane as I can see the wing flap control symbol, also double engine thrust control. Buttons for typing in cruise control coordinates etc Embraer E185 cockpit.

            Question is: is it HG?

          3. NarcAngel says:

            My “cockpit” has that stuff too lol. But no one has ever lost an arm in it.

          4. HG Tudor says:

            Only HG appears in his avatar.

          5. Claire says:

            You appear to have nice arms, nothing biologically wrong, etc.

          6. HG Tudor says:

            What like scales, three arms, spikes?

          7. Claire says:

            Endless possibilities. Discolored areas, scars, dermatological types of sores/rashes, etc.

          8. Desirée says:

            Admiral of the fleets, commanding the empath ships, plotting strategies and sending them into battle. Very fitting indeed!

          9. FYC says:

            Love your description, Desiree, 😉 but after a good look, I think it may be a plane. Do UK planes have right side controls like UK cars?

          10. NarcAngel says:

            We just assume that’s his arm. Maybe he does sit on the left and is taking the picture. The person in either spot left or right I believe is capable of flying the plane. If it is him on the right perhaps he is a Captain and training someone. Maybe he’s neither and just took a pic of the cockpit. So many variables, but again, we see what we want.

          11. Sweetest Perfection says:

            I wanted an eye. I don’t know whose arm this is. Maybe it’s the arm of the dude who flew him and SMH to France.

          12. HG Tudor says:

            Only HG appears in the avatar

          13. MB says:

            I like when he speaks of himself in the third person

          14. HG Tudor says:

            So does HG.

          15. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Well, nice elbow, I’m glad you have one!

          16. HG Tudor says:

            Yes, plenty of people have seen it as they have been given it.

          17. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Hahaha are you giving US the elbow, HG?

          18. HG Tudor says:

            Of course not.

          19. SMH says:

            I’m not going to France with HG, SP. Only to Norway. Hahaha. (I am kidding – I know you meant SM – I just pointed out to HG that also my real name and SM’s real name both start with L but hey, I was here first.)

          20. HG Tudor says:

            Actually, you weren’t.

          21. SMH says:

            Oh? You mean your posts about SM are also recycled?

          22. HG Tudor says:


          23. SMH says:

            Then did you call her by another name before, say, March 2018? That is when I landed here and as far as I know, the initials SM did not make an appearance until about six months ago. So that’s what, 18 months SMH vs 6 months SM on this blog but SMH was not here first? Besides, it was a lighthearted comment – it means nothing – yet you seem to need to burst my bubble. Why?

            Somehow this all seems familiar. I hope SM does not one day add an H to her initials!! (That was a joke, HG.)

          24. HG Tudor says:

            No, I am pointing out that SM was in my universe before you appeared SMH. Just because I did not mention her by those initials does not mean she was not in the Tudorverse.

            I was correcting an inaccuracy, that is all. If that ‘burst your bubble’ so be it. The correction was the aim, the ‘bubble’ is irrelevant to me.

          25. SMH says:

            It is relevant to me. ‘Here’ means on this blog. Not in your broader universe. I do know the difference between cyberspace and real life, and I would be very confused were you to show up in royal purple knickers at my flat :).

          26. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Ah! My phone just entered SMH by default! Sorry sorry I obviously meant SM! Hahaha

          27. nunya biz says:

            Omg, Claire, you are really cracking me up.

      2. Anm says:

        At least it’s a colorful selection. Unlike your black, cold heart.

      3. Bibi says:

        My Lower Lesser dad could fly planes. He took me on several and let me steer it. He used it to love bomb my mom.

        1. Chihuahuamum says:

          My dad has his pilots license for smaller planes.

  11. lisk says:

    Nice. I really like the die-cut stickers–they would be super-cool if they were die-cut magnets, as these would be ideal on my fridge. .

    1. FYC says:

      Lisk, you can buy a flexible magnet sheet, put the sticker on it and cut to fit. Voile fridge magnet. Just in case you need it now.

      1. HG Tudor says:

        HG approves

        1. Bubbles 🍾 says:

          Dear Mr Tudor,
          Congratulations on embarking into the fashion industry …. a definite winner here
          I’m a bit past the age of tshirts, hoodies, leggjns, mugs n pillows
          However, would classic cashmere style “scarves” be on your agenda by any chance ?
          Kindly and as always
          Luv Bubbles xx 😘

          1. HG Tudor says:

            They are, but obtain some mugs in the meantime and give them to those who needs some HG

          2. Bubbles 🍾 says:

            Dear Mr Tudor,
            You’re too cute !
            Luv Bubbles xx 😘

  12. Tamara says:

    I like Army Green, and Fire Engine Red.

  13. MB says:

    Another plus I just thought about. We will be able to spot other Tudorites by their t-shirts! If you see somebody sporting a bedazzled and glittered one, that will be me.

    1. NarcAngel says:

      You have ever presence. Every time I see a unicorn or glitter I think of you, and that shit is EVERYWHERE!

      1. MB says:

        MB approves

      2. K says:

        every time I see glitter, I think of MB!

      3. LC says:

        Every time I see a unicorn I think of Narcissists….Not because of MB’s gravatar but because in Greek mythology (also later medieval bestiaries) it was thought to be incredibly fierce and violent. You could only catch it if you threw a virgin girl in front of it. Nice though the thought may be that it rested its head with its lovely horn in the young lady’s lap for a cuddle – – but that’s not what it was – or that’s not how it was imagined then. It was quite a violent act and blood was involved…. the unicorn fed from the girl’s lap and then it could be caught.

        1. MB says:

          LC, yikes! 😳 So that’s what the horn is for?!? I need to unsee that visual!

          I like unicorns because they are fantasy creatures. Although I know the difference between fantasy and reality, sometimes fantasy is my great escape. I allow myself to imagine, dream, and create without boundaries or limiting thoughts.

          1. LC says:

            Sorry MB, didn‘t want to mess with your visuals, so here is a replacement: unicorn horn was thought to be very precious, and it was used as a cure against pretty much anything. Mostly it helped as a kind of vaccine against death from poison (through the hands of your enemies). Question is of course, seeing that they are fantastic creatures, was there any truth to it?

            Here is a snippet from a site, which, incidentally, is called Tudor Trail (and which is why I‘m quoting it):

            „ One theory is that many of the horns adorning the tables of kings and queens were actually rhino horn, which in a pinch…would be very useful. Unlike other animal’s horns, a rhino’s horn is 100% keratin and when it comes in contact with some alkaline poisons (for example arsenic) it will bubble. (If you suspect a dash of arsenic in your soup next mealtime, just whip out your rhino horn. It’s a real conversation starter.)“

            Queen Elizabeth I paid 10,000 Pounds for a unicorn horn… It‘s still part of the crown jewels.

            I reckon it was a Renaissance Midranger who sold her a narwhale tusk for a unicorn horn….

            Speaking of which – even if I don‘t have a gravatar I‘d get a mug with a gravatar assembly… All those eyes and masks and things have become very familiar!

          2. MB says:

            LC, thank you so much for all the info! If only I could “by” an encyclopedia, I’d be able to answer these hard questions. (Can you even get encyclopedias anymore?)

            I like your style! You should pick a gravatar. Let your personality shine!

        2. NarcAngel says:

          Guess we’ll never catch a unicorn on the blog then. You couldn’t find a virgin on here with a pair of binoculars.

          1. Renarde says:

            Ha ha!

      4. MB says:

        NA and K, y’all are so sweet. It makes me feel happy that I’m thought of. Warm fuzzies all around 🙂

        This is for you NA:

        1. K says:

          How could we not think of you?! I blog love you back!

  14. Scotlyn says:

    Love it! 💕 I will definitely be getting a tee or two! Those in the know will be savvy to its meaning. Lol Thanks HG…we needed this.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are welcome, I look forward to seeing pictures of all these proud purchases from everybody!

      1. empath007 says:

        People send you pictures of themselves? 😳. What a brave new world this is 🤣

        1. NarcAngel says:

          I believe he means pics of their purchases in their gravatar.

  15. MB says:

    HG, I’m curious. (Gasp! I know) Are you able to see who orders what? That might be a bit creepy. I imagine sales have been good today!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      No I cannot see who buys what. I just know which products have been purchased but not by whom.

      1. MB says:

        That’s what I thought.

        It was kinda cool after I checked out, the site suggested I buy a shirt that says “It’s an MB thing you wouldn’t understand”. I imagine others have gotten the same suggestion. You should get some kickback for subsequent sales too. Hopefully, they share!

  16. WiserNow says:

    Wow HG! This is a surprise. I didn’t expect The House of Tudor to look quite like this haha 😀 I expected marble statues and a throne room looking out over rolling hills somewhere!

    This is a great way to spread the word of HG Tudor and narcsite. I think I’ll buy a few different mugs and casually replace some of the cups in the kitchen at work…. 😉

    Thank you for this. I really like all the different colours. There’s something there for everyone 👏👏👏

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Good plan. HG approves.

  17. Alexissmith2016 says:

    Ooh exciting stuff! Love it HG!

  18. Katebd19 says:

    Ohhhhh!!! This is awesome HG!!!! What a great idea!!! Of course, I will get a mug and a t-shirt! Love all the designs but the logic defenses “on” is my favorite for a t-shirt, blue, of course 😉 😍

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you, make sure you take full advantage.

  19. Abw Flying says:

    I ❤️ the House of Tudor !

  20. SMH says:

    lol this is fantastic, HG. You finally delivered, and ironically at that. And V-necks! Thank you! You went above and beyond. It makes up for your sudden disappearances.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Ha ha that did amuse me.

      1. SMH says:

        You were off doing something for us, HG. Now I feel guilty (not really so no worries you worrywart).

  21. Pamela Dianne says:

    Mentioning my name denotes jealousy…maybe if you took yourself to an educational facility and become something with substance then you wouldn’t be triggered by me. But you have “zingers”. Good for you, little girl, now you can put on a party and disinvite me like the narc mean girl you need to be.

    But by an encyclopedia just in case someone asks you a hard question.

    And you all can have HG, I suffer in silence.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I bet you won’t.

      1. Pamela Dianne says:

        You know me so well.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Indeed, I know my subject inside out.

          1. Pamela Dianne says:

            I’ll put it to the test.

    2. NarcAngel says:

      If ONLY you would suffer in silence.

      1. Pamela Dianne says:

        If only you could read a book.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          There was no silence whatsoever. As predicted.

        2. NarcAngel says:

          Haha. I knew your compulsion to spew dumbfuckery wouldn’t allow your silence. You can’t even manage a proper burn.

          1. Pamela Dianne says:

            I could but I’d have to repeat myself twice and I don’t do idiot braille.

        3. Renarde says:

          My finely attuned Super-Empath spidy sense is telling me PD that you haven’t had a ‘soft’ landing at Narcsite Towers. Did you get up someones’ nose and HG called you a quarterwit? (He does that sometimes).

          To be fair though, as NA says, that was a pretty lame burn. Personally, I would’ve gone with ‘Who pinched your bagel?’

          Just a suggestion. 😉

      2. K says:

        Ha ha ha! I think HG should do a Tear Off Calendar with your zingers!

      3. Tamara says:

        LOL… really.

    3. Sweetest Perfection says:

      You mean “buy” an encyclopedia? God I love meta-irony, don’t you?

      1. Pamela Dianne says:

        I was pointing out my super duper spellers for their gold stars. 🙂 I’m putting a sticker on your growth shart, I mean chart.

        1. Pamela Dianne says:

          Allow me to explain, since I need to….I meant all these gals can have YOU and your attention and I will suffer in silence at being ignored.

          But if you need a win, HG, I’ll let you have a win. Must be a slow day.

          1. HG Tudor says:

            So magnanimous. How ever can you manage it from your lofty perch?

          2. Sniglet says:

            Squawk Foxtrot Oscar assigned to Pamela. HG dominating the battle-space from control tower.

        2. Sweetest Perfection says:

          I’ll be waiting to edit your stupid dissertation, loser.

          1. Pamela Dianne says:

            So triggered. Can dish it out but can’t take it.

            Shame. Send me your contact info and I’ll hire you.

          2. Sweetest Perfection says:

            There are two types of dissertations, the ones that get written, and the ones that never do. Stop wasting your time and everybody else’s here: CHOP-CHOP!! Call us back for your graduation, we’ll bring you one of HG’s mugs saying GOSO.

          3. HG Tudor says:

            I will do a special one ‘Foxtrot Oscar’.

          4. MB says:

            Annndddd….there’s the line?

          5. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Hahaha I think you have plenty of time, HG. She still hasn’t gone past the “Acknowledgments” because she’s finding it hard to find any friends to thank.

          6. HG Tudor says:

            Very good.

          7. SMH says:

            Hahaha SP! Good one!

          8. Claire says:

            Is she even real? Like is it a joke?

          9. K says:

            Ha ha ha….it seems a bit Twilight Zone-esque but it’s real, online field work!

          10. Claire says:

            I have my moments for sure but I know I’m sliding a slippery slope of assholed’em and choose it anyway. I feel that the lack of filter is with a different flavor of abandon in this case.

          11. K says:

            Correct, a lack of filter is indicative of a lesser.

          12. Claire says:

            Haha—I read between the lines on this! I say things here I wouldn’t say openly in “life.”

          13. K says:

            Ha ha ha…I am the opposite. There are things I say IRL that I wouldn’t dream of saying here.

          14. Claire says:

            Hilarious! Show that side of you! Truthfully—I would never dream of saying “dick sucker” to anyone except for a few select friends and it would be hushed.

          15. K says:

            Ha ha ha…it would have to be redacted. I call one of my girlfriends a cock-sucking-whore and she reciprocates, then we laugh; it’s all good.

          16. Claire says:

            I have a friend I grew up with.. She is a teacher and smokes pot daily. (I actually was sent to boarding school out of state for our shenanigans) and she’s a functional
            mess. She met some guy in a hotel and his dick was so small she asked for anal sex and he declined the offer and we cracked up
            like teenagers. Her stories are hilarious. Being a long standing friend we can discuss all sorts of crap—best sex toys, male sexual performance etc. Typically I’m more reserved. I can’t imagine asking some small penis man for anal sex ever ever ever. I would totally die.

          17. K says:

            Ha ha ha….boarding school, were you a delinquent? Locker room talk is quite normal among friends.

          18. Claire says:

            No I did some things (sneaking out, ornery stuff like drinking wine in my parents house) but not to the level of delinquent behavior and absolutely nothing criminal. I was acting out frankly from sexual abuse that I had unresolved emotional reactions to—it’s quite sad to realize what that was about. My behavior was a psychological response to narcissistic behaviors that were very hurtful. I had (have) poor boundaries and was attracted to people that were drinking, partying, etc. There was not much in the way of tolerance for poor behavior in the home. It was a very expensive venture and was a good idea looking back. It was a unique opportunity and I was afforded a ton of experiences. My narc dad spearheaded it and did a good job. He raised suspicion though somehow—I was repeatedly asked by people if he was abusing me. I’m not sure what prompted these inquiries. Ironically he was flagrantly inappropriate but never touched me. I didn’t confess to the inappropriate behaviors when asked. I still am unable to say what he did that was so appalling without being upset. I can vocalize “he was inappropriate” but to discuss I would be emotional and I’m not sure it’s necessary. I can write it in a post here, absolutely because it’s not “face to face” but to be respectful of the environment and the fact it could upset a reader I refrain. I think his behavior allowed “though fuel” for him. Sorry for the long answer to a seemingly benign question!

          19. NarcAngel says:

            I understand and struggle with that sometimes also. Because we are empaths, we are mindful of upsetting or triggering people. I didn’t even realize what that entailed other than a memory when I first arrived here, but at the same time, we are not being completely honest about the origin or extent of the damages from our experiences. It also does not allow us to purge it by releasing it and if you can’t release it here, where can you? It places one in a difficult position.

          20. Claire says:

            It does indeed make it difficult. It’s just uncomfortable stuff for sure. Sexual abuse matters can be hurtful to someone—igniting someone else’s trauma is something I’d rather avoid. People don’t remember this stuff at times and I’d hate “here” to be the last place to be derailed if a vulnerability is present. It’s ok, I logically know he was relishing in thought fuel with his behavior. The logic and understanding is good enough. As for the rest of the abuse—who knows? People find many mechanisms to manage trauma. Interestingly I’ve seen them get stuck in it too and I’m not interested in reliving or reprocessing right now. HG has even said he feels anxious (?) discussing hurtful childhood matters in an interview. All of negative experiences suck.
            subjects (in an interview)

          21. HG Tudor says:

            Not anxious, I prefer not to do it.

          22. Claire says:

            I’d prefer not to do it either frankly.. Whatever it evokes sucks.

          23. K says:

            The abuse should have been addressed and stopped when I was a child; it wasn’t. It’s pointless to bring it up now, for me, however, I can discuss it here so we can learn about the dynamic and its impact on ACONS. Other than that, I don’t really talk about my childhood.

          24. Claire says:

            I feel similarly. “Processing” something seems highly overrated. What is there to say? Yeah—it sucks to be a little kid and the subject of perversions you aren’t equipped to understand. It should suck. My dad didn’t start his shenanigans till my young teen years. I just ignored it really. It was a mind fuck for sure.

          25. K says:

            Processing, finding one’s self and affirmations are fucking useless.

          26. Claire says:

            Absolutely—like what do I have to process? I was already there once and didn’t like it. So, go back and not like it some more? Wish upon a rainbow? I don’t need to find myself, I’ve been here all along. I probably need to continue working on more self respect but if this isn’t trying I don’t know what is!
            K—I bought a new mattress yesterday and just woke up. It’s totally narcissist free and not infested with his disgusting essence! Delightful!

          27. K says:

            I don’t need to work on myself at all; I am doing great! (toot toot)

            The new mattress makes a huge difference! I know the feeling; I am painting all the rooms and there is no MMRN influence in the color choices. It feels so fucking good! My War Room has lost its chalk walls, though, but that’s ok.

          28. Claire says:

            It was glorious last night. It was like getting rid of bed bugs. I’m painting everything white. I have the entire scheme picked out. Soft gray/whites/quartz—no narcissistic ass sitting around rooting on a channel changer.

          29. Claire says:

            K—I thought of you a few hours ago.. Short story—funeral today for my mom’s sister. Just us in the car and talking. I was bitching about ex’s gambling history, the financial mess he had been. (Whining essentially—not looking for pity but just escalating my emotional thinking—all the crap I do..) She doesn’t realize my dad was a narcissist. Come to find out—he also gambled away heavy six figures in stocks/dumb investments! Gawd! I freaking married my dad. These two men—educated, pay their bills and lose lots of money in pursuit of narcissist nonsense. My mom said, “I always wanted to slap the shit out of him!”
            I asked how he responded to her upset—he blew her off. Then the story I’d forgotten about came up. He ordered enough silver from a company in California that it arrived in many boxes one time and it was worth half the value of their modest home. He died and she was stuck with boxes of silver! I’d forgotten but my brother had to deal with it.
            These guys are as predictable as gorillas scratching their arm pits. How dumb.

          30. K says:

            They are very predictable. It’s really weird, narcissists can be quite gullible and fall prey to fraud and Ponzi/Get Rich schemes, that’s part of their Magical Thinking.

            It looks like your mother tried to hold your dad accountable (Challenge Fuel) and, although her upset fuelled him, she made him feel unimportant (this made him feel a lack of control) so he blew her off to draw more fuel (frustration, anger) and assert superiority. The fuel reinforces his sense of self-worth (fuel makes him feel in control) and supremacy has been maintained. All is well in Narc Vegas!

            I hope your mother realized some money from all that silver. My lessers collected TY Beanie Babies and got fucked when the craze bottomed out. I thought they were all idiots at the time. 30-year-old women going crazy for stuffed toys. Now I know why: Magical Thinking.

            The Great Beanie Baby Bubble: Mass Delusion and the Dark Side of Cute, by Zac Bissonnette was a great book BTW.

          31. Claire says:

            Haha! She got it all back. My brother had to get all the boxes and ship them somewhere. He was also obsessed with gemology and investing in precious stones. My oldest daughter has a lock box of such items worth a nice sum that he left her, but normal people don’t typically get into these weird things.

          32. K says:

            My father collected coins, stamps and currency from all the countries he visited when he was in the Navy. I gave the stamps to my mother and I kept the coins and currency. My mother collected dolls when I was a teenager and thought they would be worth a fortune. I thought she was mental.

          33. Claire says:

            Haha—he collected stamps and coins too! This is quite funny.

          34. Sweetest Perfection says:

            K, my husband’s mother collected dolls and after he died, he thought they would be a fortune. Here they are still because of course, nobody wants to buy that shit. I’m terrified of dolls so I put them in the garage, in their individual boxes. One day I was alone at home, I went down to the garage looking for an umbrella and saw them there. Without wanting to look much, I was ready to go when I noticed something hairy touching my left arm. I instinctively screamed as if I was being murdered, in my head I imagined a Barbie doll with long hair and a knife in her hand, ready to kill me. When I turned around, I saw my dog next to me, licking my arm. I forgot to shut the door upstairs and he followed me downstairs. I was about to have a heart attack.

          35. K says:

            Sweetest Perfection
            Ha ha ha…nobody wants that shit! Ha ha ha….so true! They think it’s so valuable and they are so surprised when they can’t sell it. My mother couldn’t understand why no one was interested in her antique dolls.

            Screams of terror = excellent fuel. All those eyes staring at you, like a freak show.

            My friends were spooked by the dolls. At night, they were afraid to use the bathroom because they felt like the dolls were watching them walk down the hallway.

          36. Sweetest Perfection says:

            K, exactly. I wouldn’t go to the bathroom if I were them. Do you remember the picture HG uses in the article about the interaction with IPPS vs shelved IPSS and current IPSS? It is my most abhorred one, both because of its form (the pic) and its content.

          37. K says:

            Sweetest Perfection
            Yes, I know the picture and it reminded me of my mother’s doll collection.
            All those eyes watching you. She tried to foist some of them off on me and I declined. No thanks.

          38. SMH says:

            SP, that is horror movie stuff! The dolls coming alive! I always preferred stuffed animals myself. I still have my teddy bear.

          39. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Narc was a horror movie in that sense too, he was a humanoid with robotic reactions. A pair of lifeless eyes following me around with no soul. Yuck.

          40. SMH says:

            lol yes I thought that too. dead blue eyes in MRN’s case.

          41. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Fixed, dark eyes in my case. Like a shark.

          42. SMH says:

            SP, MRN’s could go dark too, like when he was caught in a lie.

          43. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Oh yes but I mean, mine has dark-brown, almost black eyes. And then they stare at you like two black buttons, have you seen the movie Coraline? Very eery.

          44. SMH says:

            No, but it does sound creepy!

          45. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Yes it is, but very very cool, especially if you watch it in 3-D.

          46. Sweetest Perfection says:

            **she died, no my husband, that was my mistake for once. No autocorrect.

          47. K says:

            It is very common to act out after sexual abuse and hanging out with the wrong crowd, drinking or doing drugs is a coping mechanism; I did the same thing. It’s very sad and no child should have to deal with that shit, ever. Boarding school was like a form of NC; you were out of the house and away from your abuser(s). I am shocked that people suspected you were abused and asked you about it. Many adults ignore it or don’t recognize it.

            This is a great quote and I think you will understand it. I do.

            HG Tudor
            AUGUST 8, 2018 AT 22:38
            There comes a point where you understand the past and therefore you must leave the past where it is, rather than continue to examine it.

          48. Claire says:

            Being away was great. I have no idea what compelled the questions—it was repeated questioning though. He was raising some eyebrows. I didn’t use drugs except a little pot which is just dumb. (Except I tried cocaine with an ex narcissist in my early 20’s and admittedly it was a blast.). I was also respectful really—but the overall picture was concerning. Grades slipped from
            skipping school too. Being away got me mostly back on track (not totally) but I went to college and did fine. I was kinda low key about it all really. I like HG’s quote you found. It’s true. I may even feel the need to bring it up more (somehow/somewhere) but not substantially. I don’t like to feel upset or vulnerable and it creates this uncomfortable feeling which isn’t optimal.

          49. Renarde says:

            Indeed it is a good quote. One that I find myself ruminating on today.

          50. K says:

            That is an excellent quote and it’s in my Notes. That quote should visible in every therapist’s office, school, church, etc.

          51. Renarde says:

            K it should.

            I’ve been placed on new meds for the anxiety and stress and finally….they are working. Along with other things and people, I’m not in that bonecrushing pit of despair I was say 3 months ago.

            So yes, was very much thinking on that quote. The problem I’m having atm is the decrease in stress has brought new insights.

            I now have a very good idea how my school, the SEs came about. Its shocking. It explains why we are also rare too.

            The flashbacks have started again. About my birth family. Just a random incident such as me yesterday folding the cover on a National Geographic. I rarely but them because of the association to PN.

            I sit down and suddenly I’m 8 again. I’ve done something wrong. He’s at the top of the stairs and he’s HURLING his NGs down the stairs.
            I’m crying. The spines are getting crushed and their covers are breaking as they slither and slide down the stairs.

            The next day, I put all of them into order in the cupboard by the stairs.

            He’s pleased with me. All is white again. Until the next time. And there was. Next time it was threatening to cut my fingers off if I changed any settings on the tv.

            So yeah. I agree. Living in the past serves no one. Those memories need to be explored before they can finally go.

            And they are going. From parents. With the big ex, still got a way to go.

            Try this. This is where my mind is today and it makes me sick to my stomach

            Katana obsession
            Obsessed with survival – good too
            Expert at ropes and knots
            Global knives
            Kill Bill
            Unwanted pregnancy
            American Psycho
            Rape and sexual assault

            Should I be worried, do you think?

          52. K says:

            I am happy to read that you feel better. Despair is awful, it keeps you stuck and sometimes you need help getting out.

            If you can, remove the emotion and try to look at those new insights with logic. Logic allows you to make rational decisions; it won’t steer you wrong. That allows you to gain some control over your life and gives you a sense of security, which should reduce anxiety.

            I am very sorry you went through that when you were 8. That was heartbreaking to read. Child abuse and frightened and crying children is unacceptable. You deserved loving parents, not that shit! I was pissed after I read your comment.

            All the memories should be looked at and explored and then you have to let go. If not, you will waste years, decades perhaps, and never really live.

            Don’t be worried by your list. Fantasies of sharp instruments, rope, survival and American Psycho are coping mechanisms. Keep reading and posting through it. That’s what I did and it worked.

          53. Renarde says:

            K. I’m in tears. Thankyou roe your very kind words x

          54. Renarde says:

            Thank you lovely. I really appreciate your kind words.

            Mentally, I am much better but the anxiety even on meds can suddenly peak and I’m left literally shaking. I have to sit down and wait until it subsides. Thankfully there are way more good days than bad days now.

            You know that expression, ‘Are you asking the right question?’ Well I havn’t or at least not until a few weeks ago. I started thinking properly and this rapidly led me to a number of conclusions which have taken a while to digest. I’m there now. One of those conclusions is that I probably have c-PTSD. The reason I think that is I dissociate a lot. I let things slide because my brain can’t cope with it. The mind remembers and that’s when I get the flashbacks and intrusive thoughts.

            Thank you for reassurance on the list.

          55. Renarde says:

            K being a durp. Had a taxing day. Of course, that’s what precisely HG is saying, understand it (knowledge) and have the wisdom to know when to move on.

            I don’t feel very wise atm

    4. SMH says:


      1. MB says:

        SMH, I think the seagull may have been addressing me in the misplaced comment. I don’t feed them though.

        1. SMH says:

          lol MB – some droppings? Glad to see you back!

      2. K says:

        Pssst…FO! Lima Oscar Lima!

        1. SMH says:

          K, Huh? Hahaha. I realize I wrote huh twice but I don’t know what FO stands for.

          1. NarcAngel says:

            When you tell someone to F— O–……………

          2. K says:

            Lima Mike Foxtrot Alpha Oscar.

          3. K says:

            It is a phonetic alphabet code for a text acronym. Eff off.

          4. SMH says:

            Oh, lol, K. I don’t know where my brain was!

          5. K says:

            Sierra Hotel! (SH = shit happens)

          6. SMH says:

            But K, Why the code? We are allowed to curse on here – fuck off, shit happens.

          7. K says:

            I think that HG was just being puckish.

          8. HG Tudor says:


          9. MB says:

            It got the point across in a classy way. I’ll be using it myself if the need arises.

          10. K says:

            Ha ha ha….practical?

          11. HG Tudor says:


          12. K says:

            ha ha ha….noted! I should have figured that from the get-go.

          13. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Because HG was suggesting a new logo idea for a mug to give Pamela for her graduation, if we all happen to be still alive.

          14. HG Tudor says:

            Ha ha, very good.

          15. Sweetest Perfection says:

            In other news: I don’t want to start any blasphemous rumors, but I heard that Netflix is finalizing a fan documentary on Depeche Mode. The selection of the fans’ nationalities seems really random: Mongolia, France, Colombia, Romania, the US, and Germany. I guess this is done with the intention to show the band’s global impact, although the six fans end up meeting at the Spirit concert in Berlin at the end of the film.

          16. HG Tudor says:

            101 but with a more varied fan sekection

          17. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Oh, nothing can beat 101!!!

          18. SMH says:

            lol, SP. It makes perfect sense then that he would get creative.

          19. nunya biz says:

            SP, that comment made me snort.

            (I really want this to end up in the right spot this time)

          20. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Haha, got it, NB!

    5. Desirée says:

      1.) using “denote” needlessly denotes pretentiousness
      2.) most use the term educational institution, not facility. you might be thinking of a psychiatric facility, freudian slip.
      3.) some”one” “of” substance
      4.) education does not equate substance…did you say you want a PhD?
      5.) zingers? You mean twinkies.
      6.) you have to be invited in order to be uninvited
      7.) narc mean girl is a redundant term
      8.) “buy” an encyclopedia, please do
      9.) they aren’t for the hard questions, though. they are for the very simple questions
      1o.) We are thoroughly trained in dealing with a silent treatment and by now, we all enjoy the quiet.

      1. Pamela Dianne says:

        Way too long and you care too much. I didn’t even bother finishing.

        1. Desirée says:

          just like your dissertation?

          1. Pamela Dianne says:

            NO, more like your sexually bored boyfriend.

          2. Desirée says:

            You get wounded quickly

          3. NarcAngel says:


            Now THAT’S a proper burn! Up top!

          4. Pamela Dianne says:

            No, not with this base nonsense.

        2. NarcAngel says:

          ” Didn’t bother to finish”

          Just like YOUR last boyfriend?

          Don’t bother trying to respond. Your burns are lame and we’re bored with you now.

      2. Claire says:

        Love this!

    6. Mercy says:

      Pamela, buy not by

      1. Mercy says:

        Dang I was late on that one.

  22. Mercy says:

    Love!!!!!! You’re speaking my language now HG.

    1. SMH says:

      Mercy, Just dropping by to say hi because I haven’t seen you for awhile (of course that is no fault of HG’s, cough cough). Now we can find each other in real life. I’ll be wearing the V-neck.

      1. Sweetest Perfection says:

        SMH, I love you paid attention to that detail too! V-neck is my favorite.

        1. SMH says:

          That’s great SP – so happy I will be able to spot you too! We can have an HG Exorcise Yoga Retreat every year now. Months ago when we all first started having the T-shirt discussion – were you here? I asked for V-necks. Of course the shirts were also supposed to say GOSO where the boobs go, but HG would need some boobs to design those for him and I don’t think he asked us!!

          1. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Hahaha SMH, your design for GOSO falling innocently on the boob line reminds me of the American chain Hooters, look it up.

          2. SMH says:

            Oh I have seen that chain, SP. I am ‘murican. I had those boob shirts all planned out – just couldn’t decide if the ‘O’s should hit the boobs so the whole thing would be off center.

      2. Mercy says:

        SMH, Hi! I’ve been here checking in. Just hanging out in the background. I want to look bad ass when I wear HGs clothes so I’m thinking black tank and black leggings paired with red pumps. I don’t know where I’ll go. Maybe a first date haha. It’ll be a weaponized first impression.

        1. SMH says:


          I think we’ve all been hanging out in the background while HG does his thang.

          For a first date it will certainly be an ice breaker conversation starter – if you want to go there right away – I usually wait a few dates before talking about the psychopaths in my life :). I’ll be getting black too – it is mostly what I wear anyway. But I think I’ll save it for the gym (if I ever get back there – I am such a slug) and see how many guys stare at my boobs trying to decipher the message.

          Any BS action?

  23. Sniglet says:

    I like this idea and site!! Haha so very cool. About time. Well done, H.G! Bloody well done! 🙂

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you Sniglet.

      1. Sniglet says:

        You could create a toy aircraft merchandise similar to the one you are trying to fly in your photo, and add House of Tudor or HOT on it. Is that you in the new photo?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          HOT – I like it.
          Only HG appears in my avatar.

  24. candacemarie1212 says:

    I’m definitely purchasing a mug and possibly a shirt too. This is awesome HG thanks 😊

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are welcome and HG approves.

  25. blackunicorn123 says:

    You need to do a narc Voodoo doll, complete with pins!!! 😂😂😂

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Ha ha now that is a very good idea.

      1. blackunicorn123 says:


      2. Bibi says:

        Make sure there are some extra large pins to go into the groin area.

    2. Joanne says:

      OMG – YES. This would be a top seller!

    3. empath007 says:

      Haha! this made me laugh. And a great idea.

  26. Natalie says:

    Very nice! I’ll buy a few mugs for me and several friends.
    How about extend the collection into male and female lingerie with the Tudor D pic on?
    That’d be a hit in sales here on the blog.

    This is my first comment on the site, although I’ve been a reader of yours for a longer while.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Welcome Natalie and thank you for spreading awareness of my work through the mugs. There are further ideas in formulation. Good to see you commenting.

  27. Sweetest Perfection says:

    I know what I’m getting. This is way too cool, HG!!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You’re welcome.

      1. Sweetest Perfection says:

        Oh yes, I forgot. Thank youuuuu hahaha.

  28. NarcAngel says:

    This is an exciting development. You have delivered on your word yet again. An excellent way to spread awareness that benefits all.

    Congratulations and thank you.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you and you are welcome.

  29. Bibi says:

    I like the Logic Defenses logo. Cool design.

    Also, what about a Narcissist Grater? For cheese? LOL

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Ha ha, very good.

    2. Sweetest Perfection says:

      Hehehe good one, Bibi!

    3. lisk says:

      That’s awesome, Bibi!

  30. Presque Vu says:

    Congratulations! This is a fab idea!!
    I have cancer/heart charity t-shirts and hoodies I wear – so why not! Hoodies look comfy!

    The great thing about this is, you can casually serve a cup of tea to a friend/work colleague/family member without saying a word – if Narcissism is hard to discuss.

    If someone wears your ‘I exorcise with HG Tudor’ to the gym – ain’t no somatic narcs getting any action lol!

    Why not make Tudor House stand out on your links with a little Tudor rose next to Tudor House? (Not telling you what to do, merely suggesting).

    I google searched House of Tudor…. and got Elizabeth 1st family tree doh! ha!

    Brilliant, excellent stuff.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you PV.

    2. Joanne says:

      “‘I exorcise with HG Tudor’ to the gym – ain’t no somatic narcs getting any action lol!” –> my plan exactly!

  31. FYC says:

    OMHG! Love the designs and this is a great way to spread the word. Thank you.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Yu are welcome, do make good use of it.

      1. FYC says:

        I shall. I will share the link too. To further your aims and to assist others in finding you, I would suggest adding on your items so it’s identifiable at a glance.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Thank you FYC, it is on some products.

          1. FYC says:

            Sorry I missed that. I **LOVE** the designs as is. I was just thinking it never hurts to direct others where to find you without saying a word. 😉

          2. HG Tudor says:

            Thank you FYC.

          3. FYC says:

            I am 100% gratitude, HG. You are always welcome.

  32. Debs says:

    Loving these!

    Will def be getting a once you know you to hoodie and wear it during my charity walk marathon in September as well as during my training sessions.

    Absolutely brilliant.

    Thanks HG

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Good work Debs.

  33. Chihuahuamum says:

    Love it!!! I really like the tanks and totes and mugs!
    Ill be ordering. I hope you do a tear away calendar with something each day from your writings 🙂

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thanks. That’s a good idea CHM, I will look into that.

    2. Lou says:

      That is actually a very good idea CM.

      I think it would be a hit.

  34. Joanne says:

    Clever homonym. Love it! I’ll be grabbing an exorcise tank 🧘🏼‍♀️

    1. HG Tudor says:

      HG approves.

  35. jessrnny says:

    Oh snap! Fitted tank top it is.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      HG approves.

  36. WhoCares says:

    WAY cool HG…and perfect timing…I could certainly use a couple pillows or mugs for my new place…

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Plenty to choose from for your new stronghold WC.

  37. E. B. says:

    Congratulations, HG. Great ideas to keep us weaponized.
    I love the new design for your products. It reminds me of Games of Thrones.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you HB. What better way to remind you of your achievements and the need for vigilance than positive ‘totems’ to overwrite any lingering ever presence. It’s a win all round.

  38. Claire says:

    Cute HG—even better would be a lingerie line! Panties with “stay out” displayed!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I am e-mailing the designer Claire….

    2. nunya biz says:


    3. SMH says:

      Haha Claire – doesn’t ‘get out’ come first?

      1. Mercy says:

        SMH, no drop the first 3 words of your sentence and add an ‘I’. That should do it.

        1. SMH says:

          Mercy, That is true but I had this vision of some guy’s dick already in her so she’d have to say ‘get out’ before the ‘stay out’ part. Maybe it doesn’t come across well in writing :).

  39. KellyD says:

    This is great! Can there also be the option to upload a photo of one’s narch enemy to be printed with a slash thru it, perhaps on a tshirt or bumper sticker? lol Just kidding, everything is perfect, of course.

  40. nikitalondon says:

    I will get my cup and my shirt! Although all these horrid stories are long gone! I will always be proud of myself for having done what i once thought impossible. Thanks for spreading the knowledge.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you Nikita, as one of my earliest readers it is gratifying to see you here periodically and you should rightly reward yourself for your hard work and success and assist in spreading the word to help others who are in the place you once were.

      1. nikitalondon says:

        I always spread but sometimes people just dont want to see the truth.. i guess until the moment comes.. I will for sure continue to spread.

        1. NarcAngel says:


          You call yours Truth? Just kidding. I know you mean the word but my mind read it differently haha.

          1. MB says:

            NA, my mind went there too! Must be narc deprivation in my case. I’m proud of HG for letting that one lie. (See what I did there.) I knew what Nakita meant. I spread quite a bit too. (The word that is.)

          2. nikitalondon says:

            its not my truth. Its the truth that when someome behaves in a defined pattern like blameshifting, or crazy making attitudes, discarding etc.. most likely this person is a narcissist!

  41. .💜. says:

    Oh my goodness! HG! I absolutely love it!!💝

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you.

      1. .💜. says:

        You’re so very welcome, but really, all thanks go to YOU, HG!!

  42. MB says:

    You da man HG!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Fucking A!

      1. Tamara says:


  43. Desirée says:

    You are spoiling us today! And there is so much to choose from!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      What can I write? I am just so giving.

      1. Desirée says:

        Your lavish generosity never ceases to impress, HG!

  44. Lou says:

    Lol. Well done HG.
    While I could see all the products, I was not able to view them by category. But I suspect many people were visiting the house at the same time and that may have caused a problem.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You will be able to do so, it might be an access issue Lou, but I can see them by category. Then again, I am all-seeing aren’t I?

      1. Lou says:

        I am still having problems to see the products by category using Explorer, but I can see them using Google Chrome (although there are no images for your bedding articles but I guess that will come shortly).
        I guess it is a matter of browser, HG.
        Now, if you excuse me, I need to go shopping 😉

        1. HG Tudor says:

          I shall let you get on with your shopping Lou.

          1. Lou says:

            Thank you HG.
            I think that another best selling article would be a T shirt with the words
            “I am a Super Empath” 😉

          2. HG Tudor says:

            Thanks Lou, there is more in the pipeline, you shall see!

        2. K says:

          That is a great idea about an empath/SE T-shirt!!! When I say empath, people look at me funny. It is like a foreign word.

          1. Lou says:

            I agree K, empath is still a strange word for most people. Empathy is receiving more attention though, IMO, but there is still a long way to go.
            I think a t-shirt with the word Empath is better. I was joking only as the term Super Empath seems to be very attractive to a lot of people.

          2. NarcAngel says:

            I got your joke. I was thinking yes, it would be false advertising in a lot of cases but advertising all the same lol.

          3. Sweetest Perfection says:

            I agree with Lou, who wants a T-shirt where the S is for “Standard”?

          4. HG Tudor says:

            But it won’t be, come on do you not think I think of these things?

          5. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Of course you do.

          6. K says:

            Sweetest Perfection
            Ha ha ha…I know, right! Standard empath (run-of-the mill).

          7. FYC says:

            Seems to me standards are also:

            Take your pick 😉

          8. Sweetest Perfection says:

            All of the above plus

          9. FYC says:

            SP, Love it!

          10. SMH says:

            Hahaha SP. Are you a standard? I have no idea what I am. I might even be a normal! Even worse than a standard empath! eww.

          11. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Being a standard is being an Empath so regardless of my non-super category (which I’m not sure how good that could be) I prefer that to being just normal. I said somewhere else that being normal is like being a human character in The Lord of the Rings, just meh… SMH, you should take the Empath detector. It helps you know a lot about your personality.

          12. Claire says:

            I think the super think is having higher narcissistic traits and maybe more feisty natured? It doesn’t really matter. I’m still an ass sometimes. (Like with the attorney who I suggested got her education via correspondence school.) Bitch deserved it and she wouldn’t look at me after that in court so there. I can still be spirited! Her legs and her hair sucks..

          13. SMH says:

            Hahaha Claire. Correspondence school. Like Pamela what’s her face.

          14. Claire says:

            Can HG block these people?

          15. SMH says:

            Claire, I don’t think he likes to block people, which is good, actually, because then we would all be censoring ourselves. So we have to put up with the occasional nutjob is all.

          16. HG Tudor says:

            I don’t block anybody. I remove the comments when they break the rules and that’s only a very small number of deletions.

          17. Claire says:

            Should I spice it up more and take my chances?!

          18. SMH says:

            Yes, Claire! I am kind of normally ‘not spicy’ anyway in public. I don’t swear a lot unless I am hungry and tired (hangry) and I don’t post much about sex because to me swearing is vulgar (when I do it) and sex is private. But I don’t hesitate to post other stuff because it is about my learning. So far HG has not deleted any of my comments as far as I can tell, even if I am arguing a point with him. He is very patient that way.

            I am more concerned that I will say too much that is identifiable. But then I think to myself, who cares? My friends all know about MRN and I am not posting anything that is not true. Even if he finds this blog and connects ‘SMH’ to him, well, so what?

            In your case I would be a bit more cautious because you are in the middle of divorce court, correct? Don’t post anything that could possibly affect your case.

          19. Claire says:

            I would never in a million years talk about sex with nearly anyone I know in the way I have here! Haha. I’d be too embarrassed. I can’t even ask someone in bed for something 90% of the time. Oh well—I’m done with that for a long while anyway.
            My ex is too emotionally dull to read this stuff and would just think I’m hysterical but he’s too lazy to punch back in this way. He’s “STEM”smart—that is it. His flavor of narcissism would reject the blog and anything I’ve put in it. I’m coal black and anything I write is rubbish. He’s entirely predictable in terms of his thoughts/behaviors. HG told me we can’t control his fuel needs though so that serves as the premise to ignite the behaviors. The behaviors are the same though—no surprises. Pity plays, victim, deflection, blame shifting, etc. He is utterly incapable of grasping what he is—my participation here is “she’s nuts” but he is lazy and whiny so no one really cares. As far as anyone knowing who I am.. IF there were a pernicious interest in me it would be indicative of their pathology. Yes, a few people know me. We risk getting to know people in all facets of our lives. Risk/benefit analysis each day we breathe.. I knew it was a risk to contact HG contrary to sensibility but I was desperate. He’s a ton smarter than anyone on the “circuit” so I’m glad I did.

          20. SMH says:

            Claire, yes, MRN is STEM smart too and that is it. He would never in a million years find this blog – he isn’t curious enough and of course as a narc he is always moving forward and seeking fuel. I am sure you are very safe here, whatever you choose to talk about.

          21. Claire says:

            If he does find it I hope he knows I find him as predictable as an ape scratching all over—frolicking on tree lumps or whatever apes do.

          22. SMH says:

            Claire, Actually, if mine finds this, he won’t be fazed. On several occasions I caught him out on something and he had absolutely no reaction – not even curious about how I found out. No fear.

          23. Claire says:

            HG has taught us how dull the mid rangers and lessers really are. Many of these otherwise intelligent and capable people’s sensibilities are completely obscured by their narcissism. Interestingly though—I find my own sensibilities are utterly incapacitated by my own emotional short comings. It’s different yet the same. They thrive on fuel—but I stir the pot too and do stupid things based on what I get from the narcissist. It’s a very symbiotic dance SMH. I have no control over how my ex functions—nor will he ever. I do have control over modifying how I get my needs met thankfully. It’s extremely hard work.

          24. SMH says:

            That’s true, Claire. I think of narcissism as a membrane that covers the the brain. Any thoughts, insights, concerns, inner feelings, admissions, are trapped by that membrane. I used to say that dealing with MRN was like dealing with a flat paper bag instead of a balloon. I don’t know why I chose those two things but that is how I thought of it – something was missing that meant his brain could not inflate. He was the first to admit that he had few emotions and was unable to understand those of other people. Impossible to explain to him what a human being was. You are right that it was symbiotic. I think I got what I needed for part of the time and then I wasn’t getting what I needed anymore but I was too deep into it to believe it. And yes we have control over ourselves. Good thing to keep in mind!

          25. Claire says:

            It sure is symbiotic. Normal men make me anxious and I only assume they are normal because I’m anxious around them. Now not like the whole time or anything ridiculous—just no chemistry and I don’t want to engage. Arrogance, seductive behavior, intensity and mesmerizing conversation is unhealthy and what I feel at home with. Especially arrogance—the more of that the better. I almost feel safer with an arrogant man. Basically it’s a total mess.

          26. SMH says:

            Claire, sorry to say that it is a mess! Normal men do not make me anxious at all. They might not interest me much, but they don’t make me anxious either. Like you, I am drawn to intensity and mesmerizing conversation, but not to arrogance, which turns me off. I am not very good at ego stroking. It is miraculous that I lasted as long as I did with MRN because I can’t take seriously that anyone really needs to be worshipped like that.

          27. Sweetest Perfection says:

            SMH, Claire, if mine can find the time to read this blog instead of posting selfies on Facebook and sending unsolicited dick pics, I want him to know this: the yellow swimming trunk with the matching cap was a terrible choice and it made you look like a fried egg. And your choice of ties is deplorable. You have absolutely no sense of style. Also, having so many muscles is OK if you spend the rest of your life in a desert island, but every time you wear a suit, you look like Hulk. Oh, that felt so good I hope he finds this blog, at least to remedy his fashion disasters…

          28. SMH says:

            lol SP. Surely he will recognize himself from that description!

          29. SMH says:

            But SP, what if I find out that I’m a normal? I’ll have to leave! I’d rather live with the illusion that I have super powers!

          30. Sweetest Perfection says:

            SMH, that was my fear too. But you won’t and if you are we will love you the same!

          31. SMH says:

            Aww thank you, SP. I know I am not normal but I am not sure that not being normal makes me an empath, if you know what I mean. Are narcs, normals and empaths the only kinds of people in the world? I actually sometimes think that I am a borderline!

          32. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Hahahaha OK then, let’s be all that we can from the b cluster! I pick Histrionic. In all seriousness, when I found out about cluster b I swore I saw myself in all the descriptions instead of not feeling empathy. Then I read cluster c and I was convinced I had the anxious disorder. In the end I’m afraid I’m just a hypochondriac!

          33. Claire says:

            HG—do I have cluster B really bad too?!

          34. HG Tudor says:


          35. HG Tudor says:


          36. Claire says:

            Oh sweet Jesus. I worry about these things.

          37. SMH says:

            Do I, HG? Just kidding. What I do have is hypomania. It explains a lot. I get the highs of mania but not the depression part. I am pretty high functioning but often irritable. It doesn’t last long, however.

            HG, I broke NC for some unfathomable reason – I snooped on social media. I don’t know why as nothing in particular has happened. One thing led to another until I was staring at MRN’s and IPPS’s IG. It was all the same as it’s ever been, which I think is kind of dangerous because that made it feel perfectly normal and that not only had nothing changed between IPPS and MRN – they still do not post pics of each other or mention each other – but that nothing had changed between me and MRN. I am not explaining myself very well but once again it is as if time stands still and he is waiting for me to reach out, which I know you have said is how it goes. Should I talk to you about it or just let it pass? I don’t think it will derail me but it might if I am not careful.

          38. HG Tudor says:

            Hello SMH,

            It would be worth having a discussion with me as I will be able to identify why this breach occurred in the first place and also address what needs to be done. Well done on recognising a breach and knowing something needs to be done about it, your have not lost insight and remain within the Window of Evasion.

          39. MB says:

            SMH, me too! Except I do get the depression also. I’ve been diagnosed with bipolar II which is hypomania/depression. It is nothing like NPD. Have you noticed that some tend to use the two disorders interchangeably? Drives me crazy! (See what I did there?) ha ha just kidding. I’m a good kind of crazy with or without bipolar. It’s not who I am, it’s just this thing I have to take medicine for. Treatment is effective. Although I do miss those times of energy and brilliance. It got me into trouble though when the depression hit and I became overwhelmed by all that I had taken on. I still have the highs and lows, they are just muted. When I’m on a high, I tend to get bored and go looking for trouble also. (Or get so agitated I lose my job. Could go either way!)

            I said all of this to say, I get you and you aren’t the only one that has made a bad decision in pursuit of excitement! The key is to recognize your mood and realize you are vulnerable. Way easier said than done though as I tend to recognize the moods only in hindsight.

            Hang in there, dust yourself off. No contact is worth it. Tell the ET to hit the road Jack!

          40. Lou says:

            Hi MB. I don’t read all comments so maybe that is why I haven’t had the impression some people here use Bipolar and Narcissistic PD interchangeably. I made a comment not long ago about how some Boderlines could be misdiagnosed narcissists (something HG talked about in an interview and that made perfect sense to me). I hope that my comment is not what made you say the above because I was not speaking of bipolar disorder.
            It has been said that some narcs can have a bipolar disorder too. I believe that is what my sisters ex husband had.

          41. MB says:

            Lou, goodness no! I should have been more clear. People in real life and in society tend to interchange the two. Narcsite readers are well educated on the subject of narcissism and know how it presents. I don’t get offended or get on a soap box either. It’s just testament that we as a society have a long way to go with awareness and education about mental health.

            Bipolar = batshit crazy to most people too. It doesn’t offend me. It just means they are undereducated about the disorder. Very few people in my life know about my diagnosis. I don’t want people to change the way they see me. I’m just MB. That’s all they need to know.

            There could absolutely be comorbidity with NPD and any host of other disorders. The human brain is fascinating. The lengths to which it will go to protect us from our environment is nothing short of miraculous.

          42. Lou says:

            MB, thanks a lot for your explanation. I understand you don’t want people to know about your diagnosis in real life. I know society in general is poorly educated about mental health and that there is a lot of prejudices which it is better to avoid.
            I agree, it is fascinating how our brains create coping mechanisms to protect us and help us survive. I think prejudices may be another very common mechanism of the human brain to make oneself feel better or stronger, or to not spend too much energy thinking (mental laziness). It also has to do with what society wants to have portrayed as normal.

          43. MB says:

            Lou, this “normal” you speak of sounds like no fun at all! 😜 Ha ha

          44. SMH says:

            lol again, MB. I would have to agree. Normal sounds like no fun at all. I had a partner who was bipolar and also an alcoholic (recovering – didn’t drink). I think alcoholism and narcissism are more alike than bipolar and narcissism.

          45. SMH says:

            lol, MB. I am better now. I will discuss with HG if it seems to be a pattern but I also think I know why it happened. The part of me that is a savior empath thinks I still need to rescue MRN and it frustrates me that I cannot talk to him at all, much less about the things I used to enjoy talking to him about. It’s not an emotional kind of missing at all. It’s more intellectual. Of course it would turn emotional if he ensared me again but luckily I stayed within the Window of Evasion (something new I learned from HG). Now back to NC.

            I like being hypomanic. I am not on any meds for it. Not sure what they would give me and why lose those highs? Yes I can be irritable and/or obsessive, but mostly I am not, and often when I am, I am also very productive. I just have to be careful as you say of my moods and also that I do not burn out, because that happened once. I do have a tendency to chase excitement and odd situations. That is what got me into trouble with MRN, who is somewhat of an adrenaline junkie too.

            I am surprised you even know what I mean because I didn’t think most people knew what hypomanic was. No one has ever used bipolar and hypomanic interchangeably with me.
            There is some bipolar in my family – a couple of mood disorders in the younger generation – but my mother is the only one with NPD!

            Mood or personality disorder. Take your pick!

          46. SMH says:

            I misread you, MB. I thought you meant hypomania and bipolar were used interchangeably. I have never heard anyone mistake NPD for bipolar or the other way around, though I could imagine mistaking hypomania for borderline. As I said in my other comment, mood or personality disorder – which would you choose! Ha. I guess the difference is that one can be treated and the other cannot – one is chemical and the other is structural? I am not really sure.

          47. FYC says:

            Hi HG, I second your recommendation wholeheartedly. I really did not know what to say, but made an effort in the only way I could.

          48. HG Tudor says:

            Thank you.

          49. SMH says:

            To me, FYC? You were very helpful. In any case, I haven’t gotten to most of the comments for the past two days because I haven’t had time. It is late now and I must go to sleep but I will see if you have written more tomorrow. I did find my conversation with you very helpful and I am not in any danger of going any further. There is no emergency. I was just curious as to why I did that at this particulart juncture and maybe a bit panicky for awhile there. It is really good to know that you, HG, and everyone is here if I truly need an intervention.

          50. FYC says:

            Thank you, SMH, I’m very glad you felt it was helpful. If you did breach NC, I am certain HG would have excellent advice and strategies to deal with it. It sounds like you may not have? In any case, I hope you remain NC. You will be totally fine on your own!

          51. SMH says:

            Hi FYC, No I did not breach NC – at least not dangerously. It is still on my mind but I don’t think I feel compelled to go any further. In fact, what I did might stop me because my curiousity is laid to rest. Nothing changes, everything stays the same.

          52. SMH says:

            Hello HG and thank you for your considered response and for the new term – Window of Evasion. I never came across it before but I know exactly what it means.

            I didn’t feel compelled to write to him or anything but I do still have this weird sense that nothing has changed. I think I said on here once that it feels like just a very long period of shelving. It’s so strange.

            I think I know why it happened, though. I wrote it all out yesterday to FYC. Some changes/transitions, including things I would want to share with MRN on an intellectual level. That is the part that I miss. I feel a bit at sea not being able to talk to him but I also know that my imagining that he would be supportive or even interested are just that, imaginings.

            I am in a pretty good place, not wallowing, and looking forward to what comes next. My plan is to make changes in the patterns that I had when MRN was in my life so that I no longer associate certain things with him. I am back to NC and will let you know if I fail again because then it will be a pattern that will need intervention rather than an anomaly.

          53. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Plus, I have a feeling you and I share school and cadre. But only HG can let you know for sure.

          54. SMH says:

            That would make sense, SP, your cadence and the way you express yourself are very close to how I think I am, not to mention that we are both Tauruses and wear V-neck T’s :). I can’t really tell how I am from inside me but I actually think I am too disordered to be a super empath. I don’t have the kind of self-control that seems to come with that territory. I need HG to tell me what I am but maybe I should wait until I’ve gone awhile without irritating him! Otherwise, he might punish me by telling me I am a normal!!

          55. K says:

            I am totally down with the Super Empath T-shirt! Recently, I saw the word Empathy painted on the wall of a local elementary school, I was shocked and NPD is being used more, as well, but we have a long way to go. People just don’t realize the severity of the problem.

          56. nunya biz says:

            It is a good idea not to overestimate some people. My husband knows for a fact I read this blog and comment. He would never be curious enough to independently find out what I say and he won’t read anything on here unless I hand it to him and say “here, read this”. Following along in a conversation is not his strong suit to begin with.

  45. foolme1time says:

    Yay!! I want one of each!!! This is so exciting! Congratulations HG! Time to shop!! 😘🙃

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thanks FM1T.

      1. foolme1time says:

        Thank you HG!! 🙃

  46. K says:

    OMG! I am getting a mug and a shirt! Brilliant!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Fill your boots (or your shopping bag K)!

      1. K says:

        Ha ha ha…I am on it!

        If you ever come out of the closet, I would love a Bobblehead Tudor doll!

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Ha ha, I have made a note.

          1. Bibi says:

            HG, you CAN have a bobble head. Just use my dream of you where you appeared as an Amish doll.

          2. HG Tudor says:

            The mind boggles. And bobbles.

          3. Bibi says:

            Tangerine swim trunks a must.

          4. HG Tudor says:

            I have packed a purple pair (with the tangerine also).

          5. Claire says:

            Can we get an arm picture gravatar?

          6. HG Tudor says:

            Ha ha

          7. Claire says:

            Not like I’m asking for your rear end. That would be weird and wrong on many levels.

          8. foolme1time says:

            Not so weird or wrong! 🤣🙃

          9. Claire says:

            No quite wrong! He has some creepy stuff to deal with. Crazy women..

          10. foolme1time says:

            Just checking??? Hahaha 🙃

          11. MB says:

            Claire, for a short time in the not so distant past, we had a hand and a cell phone and even a bit of neck. Maybe he will reprise that gravatar?

          12. Sweetest Perfection says:

            MB, I suggested one eye but HG did not approve …

          13. HG Tudor says:

            Stink eye?

          14. Sweetest Perfection says:

            That, or the psychopath stare, whichever you feel like at the moment, HG.

          15. MB says:

            Ask Pamela for it. She’s looked into his eyes. (Allegedly)

          16. HG Tudor says:

            Ha ha.

          17. Sweetest Perfection says:


          18. NarcAngel says:

            Hahaha. Part of the reason you were missed.

          19. MB says:

            Thank you NA, of course you’re the Queen of Zingers! I’ve missed being here.

          20. Claire says:

            Does he use Apple products?

          21. MB says:

            Claire, I couldn’t tell you. I was focused on the neck. Just guessing though, I say yes. I do know he uses a MacBook.

          22. Claire says:

            Good. Apple is where it is!

          23. Kim e says:

            Claire. You just gave me an idea for my next tattoo

          24. Claire says:

            Do tell!

          25. Kim e says:

            Claire..with HG’s permission……”I crossed the emotional sea” written around a pirate ship riding high waves…….

          26. foolme1time says:

            Great idea!! 😊

          27. Claire says:

            Look up rember tatooes. They are masterpieces. (IG has a huge collection of his work)

          28. Tamara says:


          29. Bibi says:

            Re: rear end pic. If Springsteen could do it on the cover of Born in the USA, I see no reason why you can’t.

          30. Renarde says:

            I’m sure you’ve had x

        2. Desirée says:

          Re: Bobblehead Tudor

          I second that and suggest an action figure as well!

          1. FYC says:

            Imagine a series of HG Tudor graphic novels depicting his posts here. With his artistic instincts it would be excellent! The bobble could be his graphic image to protect his identity. It could be a whole new enterprise. Watch out Marvel!

          2. K says:

            Graphic novels are a hit with the children and they could learn how to identify and fight the enemy (the narc) with GOSO!

          3. FYC says:

            Great point, K. It would be wonderful to help kids deal with something so challenging, adults too. Considering Marvel films have grossed billions at the box office over that past decade, there is potential in film too. Would probably need PG13 and R versions lol. I can already envision many here as characters 😉

          4. K says:

            The 8-9-year-olds love Graphic Novels. It would be a great medium to teach children about NPD.

          5. K says:

            Ha ha ha….HG could be like Darth Vader and the empaths could be like Jedi Knights!

          6. HG Tudor says:

            Like? I am, save I’m better looking.

          7. Sweetest Perfection says:

            You already have the voice, just saying…

          8. HG Tudor says:

            Without the wheezing.

          9. Sweetest Perfection says:

            True. But if you added it to some of your audios, it could turn into a cool effect, as in “Personal Jesus.”

          10. NarcAngel says:

            HG is Darth Vader?


          11. K says:

            Ha ha ha……of course you are much, much better looking, HG!

          12. Claire says:

            I guarantee I’ve bagged better looking narcs! You aren’t spell-binding. Come on. Ok—I’ll give it to you that you may be attractive. But I’ve had some way hot losers!

          13. HG Tudor says:

            I’m good looking and a winner. Fin.

          14. Claire says:

            Well they weren’t lesser losers. Losers in that they were narcissists! Haha

          15. HG Tudor says:

            Not all narcissists are losers.

          16. Claire says:

            Quit defending emotional vampires. You are the only one I wish to speak to. You get a free pass.

          17. FYC says:

            This will be a spleen vent, but it’s not directed toward Claire or HG directly. It is just an opinion. I invite other perspectives.

            I prefer to separate people and their behaviors from black and white labels (even though I understand the intent) that cannot be objectively measured.

            People in general demonstrate many behaviors, positive and negative. The same is true for narcissists. Narcissists, even in their highly defended state, can demonstrate positive behaviors and possess admirable knowledge and skills that benefit many others (e.g. Steve Jobs). They can also cause great damage.

            I am not excusing negative or abusive behaviors. I perceive cruelty or abuse as wrong, full stop. By all means, call out bad behavior and stand strong or walk away. Yet there is no escaping the fact that narcissists, were also abused when they were created and the cycle continues through generations.

            There are no winners or loses in a narcissistic relationship, only the manipulators and the manipulated. No one wins. All the more reason to disengage and not give more energy to a person or event that no one involved can control. This is the entire reason why GOSO is critical and strong boundaries are a must.

            Lastly, if I were to use the label “winner,” HG would always be one to me for all he does for me/us. So too would be the intelligent and caring empaths that stay and help others. You are all so very appreciated.

          18. Lou says:

            I agree and like.

          19. K says:

            I like it too FYC (my like button doesn’t work).

            It’s a fine balance, because people need a safe place to vent but it isn’t the narcissist’s fault he or she behaves the way they do. ET v LT.

          20. FYC says:

            Thank you, Lou and K.

            I agree, K. I have no problem with someone venting freely about any abuse they suffered. It’s after the fact (or with people not involved in the abuse) that I think it is not helpful for either party.

          21. K says:

            I agree; I am in the fuel matrices of several narcissists (related to library, school and school functions) that I get along with. We socialize and laugh; they didn’t ask to be NPDed. And my heart breaks for the children who are NPDed.

          22. SMH says:

            I agree too, FYC. People are more than just their disorders. I am still very fond of MRN. For everything he did that was fucked up, he still made me laugh and he could be very sweet. He never ever criticized me, was always calm and was very smart. There were a lot of things that I loved about him but the relationship was toxic, and I think that is what we are all learning – to walk away from toxic relationships.

            I did feel for him but I didn’t know until after I had escaped exactly what was wrong with him. There were times when we were close but those wouldn’t last as he would always pull away almost in a panic (intimacy issues). Sometimes I did too (I can be quite avoidant myself) and we never had deep talks about his childhood or mine.

          23. FYC says:

            Hi SMH, Thank you for sharing your experience. I think the highly defended nature of narcissism necessitates denial of real intimacy. The risk is simply too great and intimacy is experienced as threatening to their protective construct. The original love, need, trust, hope, etc., the N naturally possessed at birth were obliterated by their abusive parent(s) and replaced with fear, pain, shame, and denial. The defense construct of narcissism was created in order to (literally) survive that experience.

            I have experienced what you have described with a few different Ns–moments of reduced defenses, where genuine bits of true self and emotional intimacy escape–but are quickly dismissed or denied and the construct snaps back into place. I valued those moments and understood the need of the N not to acknowledge them and to deny them.

            I think the bottom line is, narcissism is not a choice. It is a natural genetic, neurological and psychological response to abuse that forever changes the way the N experiences the world around them (and perpetuates the abuse of others). We can have compassion for their experience, while not putting ourselves in the way of the abuse that naturally follows, nor excuse abusive behavior.

          24. SMH says:

            Hi FYC,

            Yes, I understood all of that now but I am not willing to be someone’s punching bag.

            Back then I would look up things like approach/avoid, intimacy issues, etc. When we were together we were always in this bubble. I would try to make things safe but we made no progress at all. The time we were closest he came over to meet my son. My son was asleep so we just lay on the bed, talked and fooled around a bit. It was probably the nicest and most relaxed time we had together.

            But you know what I did the next day? I made an appointment with my shrink because I knew he would pull away. Sure enough, the following week we had what was basically our first and only fight when he suggested that I was becoming an ‘obligation’ (he said ‘you shouldn’t be an obligation too’) like IPPS, kids, his boss, etc. I went stone cold. He sort of apologized but a few weeks later we mutually agreed to end it.

            That was only one of the umpteen times I thought it was finally and truly over, however!! Six months later he tried to get me to return to the relationship. We saw each other, it was nice (again) but I was more detached, kept my wits about me, watched his behavior, and two weeks later said no. THEN (again it wasn’t over) he got very dependent on me until I inadvertently wounded him. Now I believe it is well and truly over since he has moved and we have been out of contact for more than a year.

            I wonder if I could have better handled it now that I have found this site but I have to say that the whole thing was exhausting.

            Are you a psychologist?

          25. FYC says:

            Hi SMH, No, I am not a psychologist. I have simply read a great deal of material on a variety of topics in an attempt to better understand many things. I would never advocate anyone remain in an abusive relationship, nor would I suggest, or be, another’s punching bag under any circumstances. I was only discussing the dynamic of N and intimacy (and lack thereof). From my perspective, you made a good choice to leave.

          26. SMH says:

            Hi FYC, Yes, it was a good choice, thank you, but I should have done it much sooner. I did, in fact, leave him a month after I met him because I sensed he was controlling and even told my friends as much. He would want to see me when I wasn’t available – even coming to my flat uninvited one day – but would disappear when I was available. I knew immediately what was happening.

            But that did not stick, and nor did the other four times until the final time. I was in such a state of high anxiety all the time that I could not tell if it was him or me. But after six months NC, I was grounded enough to be able to say no and to mean it, and I was fine the whole time we were trying to be ‘friends’ up until the very end. I would even leave the conversations when he steered them in a direction that made me uncomfortable. NC really makes a difference.

            I broke it yesterday after more than a year because I think I am writing too much here and living it again through my writing. It wasn’t a serious breach – no direct contact – but he is now lodged in my head again. No idea how that happens or why, but it feels like no time has passed and he is waiting for me to reach out because I always have before. Anyway, I am sure it will pass… thanks for listening and asking questions!

          27. FYC says:

            Hi SMH, I’m happy to listen and will try to offer something useful to consider. The fact that you left after a month was likely due to your subconscious perceiving something off/not ok for you. His controlling behavior that emerged is certainly a red flag. His present/future faking of claiming he wants to see you but not being there when you are is another flag. But there must have been qualities that your conscious mind enjoyed–enough to quell your subconscious into submission.

            The processing of emotions and thoughts is a complex process. There are literally millions of connections that bring together the parts of the brain that process everything we experience. Further, we assign thousands of associations to our experiences that dictate how we interpret future experiences. When we have compound emotions (a mix of emotional messages) an ambiguous response results and we then have to separate out the mixed messages, assign a new association and resolve any challenges (cognitive dissonance results when we cannot). Anxiety throws a wrench in the works and hijacks effective cognition. Cognitive dissonance can keep us wanting to solve the unsolvable problem even when all hope is already extinguished.

            SMH, I am sorry you felt drawn to make contact after a year of no contact. I would not be surprised if it was your subconscious revisiting something unresolved. It can happen to anyone. The good news is, you can choose to restart NC again today. May I suggest coming to your own conclusion so that you can put your mind to rest? Whatever feels incomplete for you, ask yourself if resolved, could it make up for all that you know now about narcissism? I doubt it could. It’s okay to move on and let go. There are more fulfilling experiences and people in your future that await you. We are all here pulling for you too.

          28. SMH says:

            Thank you, FYC! I am much better today. Whenever I get in that state now – it happens very rarely – I say to myself that it can wait until tomorrow. Then tomorrow comes and I say it again until I forget about it.

            I think I know what the problems are right now. MRN and one of my best friends both moved last year. MRN was pretty reliable in his unreliable way. He and that friend really anchored me. Now I am moving too (sort of). A pretty intense and rewarding era has ended. I am not sad about it – it is just a transition and transitions are always hard.

            There are also lots of fantastic things happening for me so I don’t feel in the least bit unlucky. I think what is unresolved is that I would like to be able to talk to MRN about it (hard to explain without giving too much away but it has to do with our professions, which are weirdly synergistic for two people who met purely by chance).

            I don’t approve of what he does for a living. I never told him that in so many words, but I did encourage him to quit his job during my final escape. He did and I think I was either the first person he told or the second (after IPPS – not even sure he told her before he told me). He asked for my approval and I was really proud of him because it was a hard thing to do. He floundered for awhile and then moved on to something similar, which disappoints me because he has a lot of skills that could be put towards something much less destructive.

            In the meantime, I am doing something closer to his skills training than to mine, but healing instead of destroying, and I would want his input on some aspects of what I am doing. That is one reason I tried to be friends with him post-escape.

            I think I thought I could free him and bring him into the fulfilling experiences and people that are in my life right now and always have been. It is therefore more about me wanting to rescue him than about me wanting him to rescue me. I guess that is my savior empath side. I really admired his intelligence and he knows that – that is one of the qualities that kept me going back – but I think he wastes his abilities. So it’s not just the emotional stuff.

            I think I have made some huge breakthroughs writing to you these past few days. I am very grateful to you for responding! You might not be a psychologist, but you should be, not just for your insights but for asking the right questions and drawing people out.

          29. FYC says:

            Hello SMH, I am so glad you are making breakthroughs! You are strong and capable and do not need your MRN to help you with work. People we care(d) about moving on or out of our lives is always a form of loss we grieve (I do not mean that dramatically, but literally). It takes a bit of time. The fact that you have so many new changes at the same time adds to that. I understand. Just be really good to yourself. You have much to celebrate!

            Thank you for your kind compliments. I always care, but I think I just happened to be here when you happened to be ready to process all of this, as you did so quite effectively on your own. I am certain you will meet many new people where you are going that will support you and you will really enjoy. Remember you need not save anyone, because only we can save ourselves. I am happy for you, SMH. You will be great in your job and I wish you the very best!

          30. SMH says:

            Thank you, FYC! You did not have to be there to have this conversation with me but you were and that is very generous of you. Sometimes it just takes articulating things to make sense of them and then they disappear. No thoughts today about MRN at all. In fact, it was more ‘what was I thinking’?!!

            Funnily enough, I have a work narc who is a lot like MRN and is giving me all sorts of headaches. He is making part of my working life kind of hellish and he risks turning me into a non-functioning appliance, which would not be good for him in this particular professional situation. It doesn’t bode well or badly for my general work life – just for this thing I have to work on with him. I could walk away – no one could do a thing about it – but I feel that I want to learn more from what I am doing so I am going to have to try to hang in there without blowing a fuse the way I did with MRN.

          31. Renarde says:

            What? Against Hayden Christiansen? Seen more animation in a 2 x 4 but he sure was purdy!

          32. Desirée says:

            The HG stands for Handsome Greater.

          33. nunya biz says:

            HG have you ever been in my area? I ask because I saw this amazing narc once. Will never forget. I figure he was a narc bc I could “see” him differently, can’t be sure though I guess.

          34. HG Tudor says:

            I am everywhere NB.

          35. nunya biz says:

            Ha, HG, I was wondering where you’d go with that or even if you had a good idea where I’m referring to, but I was really curious. I have no ability to ever identify the person, but I guess in my mind they represent what I think you’d look like.

          36. FYC says:

            Hi SMH, Sorry I missed your last comment. With regard to your new work MRN, I would suggest something new I have learned, OOCGE (observe only, cease giving energy) from HG and K. When your MRN does the usual machinations, recognize them for what they are only (OO), but immediately cease giving any energy (CGE) to such actions. It is a wonderful tool that can be used in so many ways (past and present) to keep from getting your thoughts or emotions caught up or hijacked by N behavior. Very much a secret weapon against machinations. Give it a try and let me know what you think!

          37. K says:

            I like to think of it as Operation: Oscar Oscar Charlie Golf Echo. It comes in handy when I am doing field work.

          38. SMH says:

            Ah, that is what it is, K. I didn’t dare ask :). FYC, yes, that is good advice and is basically what I have been doing. I don’t think work narc is a narc but he does have a habit of being ‘absent’ – not uncontactable but dodging things. I will have a good opportunity to see him in action because we will soon be travelling together for two weeks (not alone). But I know anyway that I will have to pick up a lot of the slack because I have to have his back in this particular situation. His success is mine and vice versa. I will do that because I am a savior that way! I don’t think he is manipulating me. He’s just not seeing things that I see.

          39. K says:

            Ha ha ha…you don’t have to ask. Just Google: narcsite OOCGE and watch the magic happen!

          40. SMH says:

            K, I thought it was some sort of inside joke that you had just devised on the spot!

          41. K says:

            Ha ha ha…no, it wasn’t an inside joke; I was just being puckish with the acronym.

          42. SMH says:

            I will never forget it now, K. It is seared in my brain.

          43. FYC says:

            Hi SMH, I tried to reply sooner but could not get it to go through. Glad to hear you already OOCGE! It is an excellent set of skills to master. I do understand your situation and while not ideal, I’m sure you will succeed anyway.😉

          44. SMH says:

            Thank you for your persistence, FYC. I often lose track of what I have posted or who has responded, so goodness knows if I have insulted anyone that way (I am sure I have in other ways!). If I am successful, I will sleep well. If I am unsuccessful, it will be quite a spectacular failure. I don’t do anything, include fail, by halves.

          45. FYC says:

            Lol, Do share your field work stories!

          46. K says:

            Ha ha ha…I most certainly will share. This is a N v N situation.

            My daughter’s friend is up north for a dog sitting job and we are certain that this young lady is a narcissist. Based on the dog owner’s behaviour, the DO is definitely a narcissist*. So I translated the DO’s behaviour for the young lady and, afterwards, she asked my daughter if a lot of people have it (NPD)? Then she said, “Some of it sounds like me.” She also recognized the behaviour in her mother and brother.

            Red Flags: the DO is a serious hoarder and her house is filthy! I saw the video and it was pretty bad, worse than my mother’s house.

          47. FYC says:

            K, I think narcissism is more common than believed. I feel sorry for the dog! I hope your daughter is unscathed by either of these Ns.

          48. K says:

            NPD is everywhere! My daughter’s friend now lives in Florida so they do not see each other often and her friend has the facade up and running so it is all good. The DO is in Europe for a month and I think the dogs (2 greyhounds) are ok.

          49. FYC says:

            K, Glad to hear all is okay. I do see N traits so frequently it amazes me. No doubt this has always been the case, I was simply unaware of many N behaviors prior to KTNU! You are like a grad student TA for HG at KTNU, and we all learn from your N translations (and citations/links)!

          50. K says:

            Thank you FYC!
            Ha ha ha…I really enjoy working on and sharing the translations with all of you at KTNU!

          51. FYC says:

            Thank you, K, and please keep them coming. They really help me in honing detection/identification skills.

          52. K says:

            My pleasure FYC
            And I will keep them coming.

        3. Chihuahuamum says:

          Id buy an HG bobblehead and put it on my dash 😄

          1. Sniglet says:

            Chihuahuamum – I read gash instead of dash. Had to reread… that gave me an idea.

            HG Tudor should produce some narc dildos and stamp them with HOT. Some emphasis on ‘O’ That would be the closest any woman will get to Tudor intimately. Maybe HG will let me design them. One with wings since he loves to fly hi’….

          2. HG Tudor says:

            No, the dildos will have Once You Know You Oohhhhhhh

          3. Sweetest Perfection says:

            “Once you know you go,” switches to “once you know you come.”

          4. HG Tudor says:

            Very good.

          5. NarcAngel says:

            Hahaha. Will you be wanting pictures of those purchases as well?

            It should be in a gift set with HUSH audio.

          6. Renarde says:

            And will be modelled on his own ‘weapon’. Taken from life. I’ve looked into this and everything.

            It might be a tad uncomfortable HG but think of your loyal fans. A few moments of pain for literally lifetimes of pleasure the world over.

            I want 10%

          7. Desirée says:

            once you’re done you’ve come? This is taking a strange turn. I will go watch cute kittens on youtube now.

          8. nunya biz says:

            Bahahaha! I’m at work I almost burst out at “ooohhhh”.

        4. Claire says:

          He needs to stay in the closet. I actually worry for his safety because of the nut jobs out there. I don’t understand how he’s never been identified so far though. HG—in your confessions book (I have not finished it) it suggests certain people know they are featured. How can this be?

          1. HG Tudor says:

            Not being detected is what I do professionally so it is easy to ensure nobody knows I am HG Tudor.
            They did not know precisely what they were featuring in.

          2. Claire says:

            That is good, you should stay on the shelf in that closet.

          3. FYC says:

            HG, It would be great if you could share some of your special knowledge and skills (without compromising your position) on how not to be detected. I am sure it would be very helpful for those who seek to avoid detection and hoovers by their narcissist(s) and/or stalkers. I had a stalker in real life a several years ago and was fortunate to be trained by a professional at the time on how to remain safe. Many do not have these resources available. If you wrote a book on this I believe it would be very successful in the mainstream.

          4. HG Tudor says:

            Thank you FYC. It is in the to do list with many other items.

          5. FYC says:

            Great to know, HG. I am sure your to do list is a mile long, but you are so prolific I am equally sure you will get it done. Thank you very much for everything you accomplish (including your real life job).

          6. HG Tudor says:

            You are welcome and thank you for the suggestion, they are always welcome from you and other readers.

          7. FYC says:

            My pleasure, HG, and good to know.

          8. Sweetest Perfection says:

            FYC, that is an excellent suggestion and I would love to learn from HG. I’m sure many victims of stalkers (not necessarily narcs) would benefit from this, thus widening HG’s target market too. Imagine all the victims of gender abuse (domestic and other types) that could learn from his experience to go incognito!

          9. Desirée says:

            “not being detected is what I do professionally” – HG is 007 confirmed!

          10. HG Tudor says:

            Not quite. Everybody knows who Bond is. ‘Ah Mr Bond I’ve been expecting you.’

          11. Renarde says:

            Indeed! Very good point HG.

          12. HG Tudor says:

            Thank you Renarde.

          13. Renarde says:

            Well, as always with you, it’s so timely. A point I have been greatly worrying about. (Not your timeliness, the aware).

            The Lessers and Middles are so very easy to spot. Its the Greaters that worry me. I sometimes wonder why others on here don’t express the same concern?

            And as you say, a true Greater will suddenly be THERE. No announcement. No fan fair unless that’s how they want to arrive.

            Most vexatious! The Swines!

          14. SMH says:

            Renarde, Personally, I do not think I am Greater material so I do not worry about it. I definitely attract way more mid-rangers and lessers.

          15. Renarde says:

            Fair point.

          16. NarcAngel says:

            Re: HG being 007

            Mystery solved
            They’ve both known Pussy Galore.
            She is in the left seat piloting the plane.

          17. Sweetest Perfection says:

            I don’t know about galore, but eight at least: OctoPussy.

          18. Desirée says:

            Really though, I second FYCs suggestion, that would be most interesting and if you ever have the time to get around to it, I cant wait to read it.

          19. Desirée says:

            Re: everbody knows, who Bond is
            True that. So you’re a level above even him, then? You truly are an ultra.

          20. HG Tudor says:

            Of course.

          21. Desirée says:

            Re: the left seat
            so it was pussy galore in the piloting seat? Makes perfect sense, we have finally come full circle.

          22. nunya biz says:

            Renarde, I don’t know but I expect with greaters it’s noticing messing with eye expressions, what is their job and maybe a bent toward saving the world? Just some guesses. Then triangulation or any black and white view of people.

    2. Claire says:

      I see the mugs come in different colors!

      1. K says:

        I got a pink: Once you know, you go mug and a black: I
        Exorcise With HG Tudor shirt. I love the pink!

        1. Sarah says:

          K, I’m a pink girl also!! I have to have the ‘Once you know you go’ Hoodie and the mug to sit on my desk so my evil boss who believes I am so “restrained” can do a bit of Cluedo work and realise I am on to her!!

          I am proud to wear the HG Tudor logo any day of the week. Love, love, love that pink!

          1. K says:

            Ha ha ha…be careful, that mug might be considered challenge fuel!!! Sooner or later, she will instinctively know the jig is up. The pink is awesome and I am eagerly looking forward to delivery of the goods.

          2. Sarah says:

            Very valid point K…unfortunately though that ship has sailed!!
            I am the Strategic Advisor to the Director. I have worked at the organisation for a very long time and I have the CEO’s favour and his ear (of which my boss has none). I am like oil on water and challenge fuel albeit a necessary evil (for now of course). The mug won’t help my cause, but let’s face it, despite being very useful and enjoying a lengthy golden period, once she is embedded within the organisation I am in the gun!

        2. Renarde says:

          So I heard K!

          1. K says:

            You are welcome Renarde
            Awwww…your comment made me get all teary eyed and I am trying to maintain my stoic side. XO

          2. Renarde says:

            Be stoic darling! X Always be stoic

          3. K says:

            Ha ha ha…today I am Michonne from The Walking Dead.

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