The Ties That Bind

One of our central aims when we have targeted you is to bind you to us. During our seduction we create this magical place and invite you and only you to inhabit it with us. We build a fantastic place and place you on a pedestal in the centre of this artifice. It is very difficult for you to realise this is a fallacy and even harder to do something about it. Every day, every hour that you remain close to our influence allows us to create more ties, more connections and increase the extent that you are bound to us. We make you feel fabulous, worshipped and loved. The dizzying, whirlwind nature of our passion is unlike anything else you have known and you readily accept it. It is of course not informed consent. You have no idea what we are, but nevertheless you accept all of this wonderful treatment. You allow us to permeate every aspect of your life. We draw you into ours and make you feel special and privileged for being allowed to do so. Consider how we penetrated your every network so everywhere you turned we were there.

We knew all your friends, we ingratiated ourselves with your family and got to meet your colleagues. We knew all the places you liked to go to and introduced you to some additional ones. We made sure we knew every favourite thing of yours, from books to plays to food. Your wine rack became stocked with the types of wine you preferred, your wear the jewellery that was bought for you after careful solicitation of what you deem pretty and I occasionally arrive bearing a new book from the stable of authors that you enjoy to read. Bit by bit I invade your life and as our relationship progresses at light speed, the gradual, creeping advance of my influence has actually gained more than a toehold. It has spread across your territory like some formidable weed that cannot be held back, covering and smothering. My clothes hang in the wardrobe, I have my favourite chair at your house, you now buy the cereal that I prefer to eat in the morning even though you think it is just a mouthful of sugar. You now wash my socks, my songs populate the iTunes playlist and the bathroom is testament to my occupation with the bottles, razors and accoutrements mingled amongst yours. You cannot fail to see my influence all around you, but you welcome this and from it you gain a great happiness. From dating, to staying over, to co-habiting and on to marriage, this inexorable march of sudden and frantic seduction, although this is only ever apparent with hindsight as at the time it was the right thing to do, results in our lives entwining as I wrap my tendrils around your life and drag you tight against me. So many links, connections, lines and ties between you and I.

These ties keep you in place despite the abuse that is to come. It is sudden and bewildering but you will not give up easily. Not only did you say those vows, you meant every word and we know this. You will not let what we have built up crumble to dust. Admirable as your fortitude may be, you may as well stand on a beach and command the tide to halt its own unceasing advance for all the good you will do. This will not stop you trying though. We know this. The ties are many and they are tight so you will not run for cover at the first administration of a silent treatment. You will not down tools and walk away when the shouting continues long into the night. You do not pack a bag and leave it in the hallway, sitting on the stairs as you wait for us to return, late at night, from whatever tryst we have been engaged in. You keep going, bound to the hope that everything will be good once more, that the golden period will return. You hang in there, you battle, you demonstrate misguided resolve as we lash out time and time again, drawing the negative fuel from your distress, dismay and disarray. You will not let go. The connections are too many. Our behaviour is reprehensible as we open up front after front after front against you, leaving you confused and crushed. We twist, blame, push and pull yet you will not waiver. No matter how many times we knock you to the floor you keep coming back for more, dragged back onto your feet by the ties that bind you to us.

Then one day you remove yourself from our toxic influence or in some instances you are removed. Those ties remain but there is an elasticity which allows you to escape us. To be taken away from the acidic words and viscious schemes. The insults, the violent rages, the isolation and the denigration may have been halted. You may no longer be subjected to being spat at, your hair pulled, your money withheld, your social interactions curtailed and your self-esteem trampled underfoot. You may have escaped the daily devaluations which came at you in so many different and unedifying ways but your ordeal is far from over.

You may not have our furious face shouting into yours anymore. You may not be sat cowering behind a locked bathroom door as we pound on it demanding you come out. You may not lie crying in a bed made to feel empty by our absence. You may not stand outside the study seeing the glow of the monitor within, under the door and wonder who we are engaging with online, that knotted sensation in your stomach inducing sickness. You may have escaped many of these manipulations but the ties that bind remain.

The bond we have created with you is so strong, so deep and so far-reaching that every day you will feel a vast void at being parted from us. You will excuse the abuse as you hanker for those golden days. You will feel like something has been ripped from you by our absence. Even though you know how terrible we have acted towards you, you will still suffer that sense of illogical loss. Every day feels empty. You wonder what we are doing, who we are with and whether we are thinking about you. You see our presence all around you still, people still ask about us, you collapse on to your bed burying your face in that t-shirt we kept under our pillow and you still smell us on it. You drink deep of the scent, hoping the nagging pain will recede, that somehow you will be magically restored to where we once both were, when we were happy. Your run your fingers over the tub of hair wax which we left and you remember watching us as we carefully applied it. You cannot bring yourself to discard it, clinging on to these reminders of the joy that once abounded in these walls. You pass the bookcase, touching the spines of the volumes we bought for you, the words and letters all further reminders of our presence here in this house. You miss us you miss us so much, you shouldn’t do, not after what we have done. Not after the vile treatments you have suffered. It makes no sense that you should feel this way but you do. You ache for us, the ties that remain are still being pulled and yanked, even though we are not there with you. The searing pain rises as another reminder appears, the tie still strong. Unlike an umbilical cord which provides life, your cord to us continues to pain you. When will this end? When will this agony recede and be replaced by something else? Would it now not even be better to feel nothing? To be numbed and anaesthetised so you do not have to endure this ongoing pain.

The bond we create with you is so powerful, so deep and so long lasting that it is often the aftermath of the ties that bind that hurts more than the abuse itself. That is how dangerous we are.

131 thoughts on “The Ties That Bind

  1. KellyD says:

    I’m on vacay and the narc is ignoring me because he’s jealous. Dropped me and disappeared in the middle of a text’cussion lol Please tell me not to reach out to him further. Part of me finds it funny the other part is like … WTH

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Apply GOSO.

      1. KellyD says:

        Thank you !

    2. foolme1time says:

      Kelly

      Listen to HG, it’s time sweetie. You are to good for this bullshit!!

      1. KellyD says:

        I really am! Thanks much 😘
        I have not reached out

    3. Joanne says:

      Enjoy your vacay and IGNORE HIM. Go live your best life while he lives his miserable, lame existence.

    4. Kiki says:

      Don’t do it. IM in a state because I. allowed. My Emotional thinking to go unchecked. loneliness and hope did it.

      You will get hurt and feel like crap

      I know it’s hard v hard, go swimming. sunbathe read Hg, better again listen to him.
      Don’t give him ur fuel.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Tackle and Grapple! It’s not a fight, it’s fight love. Wrap those legs around me and LUNGE!

    1. Desirée says:

      Pamela Dianne is back, but not by popular demand. Not the most creative with the multiple accounts there, either.

      1. Kiki says:

        Oh no , this is PD again under the name Anon .Here to insult everyone again . Easy to recognise the writing .
        For crying out loud Jeez.

        Kiki

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Correct.

          1. empath007 says:

            So why don’t we all take your advice and apply no contact with Anon. Watching everyone get thier knickers in a twist is exactly the kind of attention this person is looking for isn’t it?

            Disappointing to see many fall in this trap when we are here to educate ourselves on this very concept.

            Who cares what anon has to say. It’s irrelevant. Ignore it.

          2. HG Tudor says:

            Correct.

            It does however enable readers to understand more of the dynamic by seeing it further in action.

          3. Abe Moline says:

            Yes, I am very much aware I should have ignored her, that’s the theory… But I have noticed from her previous comments (as PD), and also more recent ones (as Anon) that she had this love-hate sort of tendency towards HG. I was curious (and really amused) where a question about this would lead to, fuel or no fuel, so I asked. She exploded, started cursing and got really mad. Well, maybe this was the critical wounding she’s been looking and asking for since she started hanging around here…

            Finally got herself banned.
            I think the end result is quite satisfying… 🙂

            Sorry you all had to witness this. I don’t take cursing seriously at all, it is quite funny for me, but I understand others can be more sensitive to this…

          4. NarcAngel says:

            Abe M
            No need to apologize. None of it bothers me and HG allows it for study up to the point that nothing further can be gleaned. It’s amusing at first and then they just get boring when they can’t produce an intelligent observation or even a proper burn to appreciate, but it still demonstrates their persistence in hoovering. Note how many times HG responded with: back again? after they announced they were done. Sometimes people try to reason with them or offer solutions but they are wasting their time. It’s usually when people are newer, haven’t read the whole thread, or don’t identify what they are conversing with. Some identify them and use them to say things they may have wanted to unload on their own narc and it’s safer to do so here. It’s good also to practice resisting responding in real life. I do sometimes poke them when they start out and haven’t made their intention fully known yet so that the full behaviour presents itself because none of it affects me save humour, and I’m impatient in getting to the lesson so I can watch them thrash around and then be gone. You can always tell by HG’s responses when it’s a lesson.

          5. empath007 says:

            No need to apologize Abe… it’s something I am trying to personally work on as I constantly felt the need to defend myself to my narcissits. It’s no longer something I want to engage in.

            With that said, I also just have a no unhealthy debates on the internet with strangers rule. It’s just a personal choice of mine. I find it to be a waste of time and energy. I used to get suckered into many different types of debates because I enjoy discussions… but I’m learning now they are genrellay inaffective.. and they usually tend to just end up with everyone angry. No one listening to one another and trying to shout the loudest.

            But I’m not offended by arguments… a year into my relationship with the narc I had unleashed my own narc side and just lashed out. Saying incredibly horrible things.

            And I wasted my time… I wasted my time and let him drag me down to his level. And I never want to let anyone do that to me again.

          6. nunya biz says:

            You’re always so quick on the draw NA, it’s funny.

      2. Kiki says:

        Abe I mentioned not liking he cursing thing.
        I’m a scientist but here in Ireland that is a big no no.
        It’s part deep tradition I suppose.

        I wish I could have ignored her but it’s like watching a bully attacking such nice people and saying nothing I couldn’t help my outburst.

        Sorry Hg.

  3. foolme1time says:

    Anonymous

    I don’t think you have any idea what you are talking about! NA didn’t deceive anyone into loving her! She is not a narcissist, far from it! She is the first one out of the gate when someone on here is being attacked by a suspected narcissist that has slithered onto the blog! Really! Just because someone doesn’t like to be hugged or cuddled does not make them a narcissist! Making rude or obnoxious comments all of the time is something HG allows simply because it is an open forum and we can just simply ignore them if we do not like what is being said, you however in the remark you made today about NA have gone to far! You can take your rude remarks and go fuck your self!

    1. Anonymous says:

      Say whatsky? What’s hug have to do, have to do with it?
      Who needs a hug when a hug can be broken?

      1. foolme1time says:

        Once again another one has slithered onto the blog! 🐍

        1. Anonymous says:

          Ssssssssss. They call me, opposition copperhead.

          1. foolme1time says:

            The best thing to do with a poisonous snake is cut off it’s head and put it out of its misery, that will stop it from slithering back time and time again!

          2. NarcAngel says:

            FM1T
            You know how to do that and it doesn’t involve exclamation points lol.

          3. foolme1time says:

            Oh damn NA!! Hahaha

          4. Lorelei says:

            Talked about snakes and I found this gem!

        2. Anonymous says:

          Let’s deconstruct this.

          Demonizing an unknown opposing person. So that means you come with much hidden thoughts and feelings unknown to the board.

          Saying it’s in misery, on the contrary, it’s a beautiful day and I feel great. You come with false assumptions.

          Finally, you come with jealous intent. You think you might be fighting for the authors attention with a rival. What if that’s not the case? What if it is the case? Will killing the snake change anything except expose your weak lack of control over you emotions?

          You must have feelings for HG that you seek to protect and mark your territory, and doing that with comments is rather a weak stance.

          1. foolme1time says:

            First of all you are not unknown, the name is different the person however is not.

            Misery yes, because it does not know what it is, and unfortunately never will.

            No jealousy on this end and also no need for the attention you are seeking from the author, who btw is doing an amazing job of ignoring you. Also no lack of control on my part, I actually find you quite boring.

            I was not protecting HG this time, you must be thinking of last week when you were using a different name. You really are not very good at this are you? 🤣🤣🤣

          2. Anonymous says:

            Shut up, Tony. And go get a degree. Who am I dear? The last woman to turn your badger milk male vitality down? Go bandy words with your sold out clown show of get rich quick idiots who didn’t choose college. Plenty of women there to service you.

            I’m happy, dear. Very very happy. And you can’t change that, can you?

            Thank you next 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩

          3. foolme1time says:

            The sad thing is you actually believe everything you’re writing. You are actually one of the most pathetic snakes that has ever slithered onto this blog. I’m actually quite bored with you now, so you may slither off. No more fuel for you today.

          4. nunya biz says:

            All projection.

        3. FYC says:

          Dear FM1T, Same seagull, different day. If one actually wanted to be anonymous, they would remove their gravitar that provides positive ID.

          Pamela, a new alias will not help you, as your writing gives you away. Better to move on and get the help you need.

          1. foolme1time says:

            I knew that FYC. Sometimes people just amaze me. 🤦🏼‍♀️

    2. KellyD says:

      Foolme1time… I love you!! You rock 😘

      1. foolme1time says:

        Right back at you kid! 😘

    3. NarcAngel says:

      FM1T
      I appreciate the gesture but the worm (they don’t command the presence of a snake) just amuses me. If they weren’t so busy jealously and desperately trying to steal a sliver of HG’s attention (or anyone’s really) for themselves, they would be able to take time out of their busy day trolling to engage in the hugs they pretend to care about.

      1. foolme1time says:

        Well there you are Sister! I thought you were going to allow me to have all of the fun!! 🤣🤣🙃

        1. NarcAngel says:

          FM1T
          Haha. I was just watching you cut your teeth for a bit.

          1. foolme1time says:

            Hahaha. OMG NA, when you loose the emotion it’s actually a lot of fun! 🙃😘 You are an amazing teacher! 🤗

          2. foolme1time says:

            MB would be here but she’s talking to me on another post about her crabs. 🙃

          3. MB says:

            FM1T, I cannot believe you told everybody about my crabs! I thought I could trust you! Ha ha

          4. foolme1time says:

            Haha! It was an accident MB! It slipped out of my mouth! Hahaha

    4. nunya biz says:

      Yes NA is one of the most inclusive commenters.

      1. NarcAngel says:

        Nunya Biz
        Thank you. I appreciate that.

        1. nunya biz says:

          It’s true!

  4. mag says:

    Dear HG. Very good One… My midrange narc wrote me sexy txt… Etc.. than he said Our relationship is only friendship. No friendship for me this is nonesense.. i don t share sex messages with friends… He told me how beautiful i was etc. I know he desires me.. because of the way he looks at me… I m ok.. i m Not thinking with my emotions any more.. just trying to understand All this weird Things… Are those sex messages to Make ties ?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      It is part of the seduction to bind you. Read Sex and the Narcissist.

  5. Anonymous says:

    Neither one of you deserve to be hugged by people you’ve deceived into loving you.

    1. PrincessSuperEmpath says:

      Anonymous. Just because the Narcissism focuses the Narcissist to deceive the source to fall in love with him, it does not necessarily mean the person would not have fallen in love with the Narcissist anyway, without all of his machinations. We will never know. Although the Narcissists do know themselves, they do not see themselves 100%, and may be lovable in areas that the Narcissist is completely unaware of. And it is not because the Narcissists hides some of their activities or habits, that gives them only the upper hand, because empaths and normals also hide some of their activities or habits, as well, everyone does, to put up the best example of themselves possible during courtship. And even though the Narcissist mirrors, some of the mirroring is actually fun and becomes part of the narcissist`s construct, even if the entanglement does not work out. So, the source and the narcissist actually are and can become compatible in some areas, depending on each of their innate respective personalities. Believe me, I am not ignoring the bad side of a Narcissistic entanglement whatsoever, or I would not be on this site, but all entanglements are not exactly the same, or as painful as some others, at different points in the entanglements. And these entanglements do need to be avoided as much as humanly possible. We are all here because the pain started outweighing the progress that we were making in our life, whatever the reason for the entanglement, and it was time for us to find a way to now take our bow and exit the scene, as intact as possible. However, I do not regret one hug that the Narcissist gave me, and that I returned to him. That does not mean, that I should stay in the entanglement. I should not. I am getting out.

  6. KellyD says:

    Often, when I’d voice that I felt something not right, he’d say, Have I physically abused you? Have I lied to you? Have I hurt you? Like he was running down a list of things he avoids doing because he knows those are considered to be “bad” things and doesn’t want to outwardly appear bad, but inwardly he knows he is bad.
    I’d say, Physically abuse me? No. Lied to me? 🤷🏻‍♀️ Maybe. Hurt me? Yes.

  7. foolme1time says:

    I would hug you both so much that you would be immune to them! 🤣🤣😘

  8. foolme1time says:

    HG and NA,
    The two of you! Pffffft. 🤗 🤗🙃

  9. ava101 says:

    HG,
    do you cuddle with your girlfriend for hours?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      No. Who has time for that nonsense?

      1. Lou says:

        This reply made me laugh out loud.

        Do you hug her, HG?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          On special occasions

          1. Lou says:

            Has she ever complained about you not touching her enough outside of sex?

          2. HG Tudor says:

            No.

          3. Lou says:

            What I meant was, has she ever complained about you not being affective with her?
            Also, does she show you affection in a tactile way and, if she does, does that bother you? I guess it is fuel but you dislike being touched hence my question.

          4. HG Tudor says:

            Affectionate? No.
            She does show me affection in a tactile way, but it is not excessive. No, it does not bother me to the point of it being problematic. I am able to deal with being touched to this extent.

          5. Lou says:

            Yes, I meant affectionate. Thanks for your reply, HG.

          6. HG Tudor says:

            You are welcome Lou.

          7. Lorelei says:

            I don’t like being touched much either HG. It can’t be “just a narcissist thing.” I think we all have preferences. I can hardly stand sleeping in the same bed with another person. My kids are different—I can sleep with them but another adult—yuck.

      2. empath007 says:

        Get out! You don’t feign that kind of intimacy during the golden period only to deliciously take it away later causing that whole “you used to hold me!” Reaction? Seems like that would be a no brainer for your kind.

        As for me (since we are all talking about our opinions on the matter) I love cuddling. It is, the best. No idea how all you people hate it 😂 my only exception is during actual sleep.

        My narc loved to cuddle, hold hands, all that stuff. He was in fact the only man I’ve been with who did… and I don’t think he hated it… it actually seemed very natural for him. He was just ok with being held and he never turned it into anything but just simply that.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          It was an act and he was able to do this because of the fuel received. Read ‘Why The Narcissist Must Reject Intimacy’.

          1. empath007 says:

            I have. Twice in fact because although there were a lot of moments I could easily identify as feigned (looking back) as he knew physical touch was a good way to get what he wanted and keep me hooked… there was something about after making love he just generally seemed ok with. I’m not saying it meant anything to him… but it didnt seem to bother him either.

            There must be some narcs that aren’t bothered by physical touch. You say below the SM doesn’t surpass your own personal limit. So maybe mine had a higher limit?

            With that said. Real or not. One decent thing in a relationship does not a relationship make.

      3. Narc Noob says:

        No cuddling for hours with SM, HG? Why ever not! Oh, you did say on another article that if someone called you “standoffish” you might take that as negative fuel 😀

        1. HG Tudor says:

          We both have far too much to do to be engaging in that cuddling stuff for hours. Good God!

          1. empath007 says:

            Well not for hours… who the heck does that? But you don’t use it as a tool during seduction with certian victims who would respond well to it?

          2. HG Tudor says:

            Yes, but that is not for hours.

          3. MB says:

            What about cuddling on the sofa, watching Big Little Lies? It’s a twofer.

          4. HG Tudor says:

            No. I sit on one throne and The Shieldmaiden besides me on the other throne. I’m not joking either.

          5. MB says:

            I’m enjoying the visual. Sounds uncomfortable. But…as a SE, SM and NA may have similar sentiments regarding cuddles. I can certainly see how that may suit her and be advantageous to your touching aversion.

          6. HG Tudor says:

            Correct

          7. Lorelei says:

            Can I pinch your cheeks if you ever come
            out of your castle?

          8. HG Tudor says:

            I’m not six years old, Lorelei!

          9. FYC says:

            May we see a photo of your throne in your next gravitar?

          10. HG Tudor says:

            All in good time.

          11. FYC says:

            I will patiently await the unveiling. IG may be a better choice if Gravatar is too limiting in scale to convey the grandeur of your mighty throne 😉

          12. NarcAngel says:

            I just want to see the porcelain that is judged adequate for royalty.

          13. HG Tudor says:

            Not that kind of throne NA.

          14. FYC says:

            Yet another example of why I enjoy your humor, NA. 🤣

          15. Desirée says:

            I remember that visual from “Wrong forever on the throne”, that’s one of my favourite blog entries of yours. I still need my comfy couch and cuddles, though.

          16. HG Tudor says:

            Thank you.

    2. NarcAngel says:

      The thought of adults cuddling for hours is my idea of a nightmare.

      1. HG Tudor says:

        If I had them, it would be one.

        1. Whitney says:

          HG do you dream? My first, a psychopath, hardly dreamt, and when he did he often realised it was a dream (lucid dreaming). The LMR dreamt a lot.

          1. HG Tudor says:

            No I do not.

          2. Whitney says:

            Thank you HG you never dream at all? Do you think it’s related to your psychopathy?

          3. HG Tudor says:

            I don’t. Yes.

        2. Dearest HG: All that super duper million billion trillion dollar cologne, going to waste. So selfish of you. Oh, right. I know…You are a Narcissist. You keep reminding. But, I keep forgetting.

          1. HG Tudor says:

            Not one drop is wasted. Just like fuel.

          2. PrincessSuperEmpath says:

            Dearest HG: Good to read.

          3. nunya biz says:

            PSE you are cracking me up lately. “million billion trillion dollar cologne”…

          4. Nunya Biz: hahaha. I have no idea why I am so fascinated about his cologne! It is so strange. I feel a need now to investigate on my own, the world of these expensive men colognes. And see what discoveries I make. I plan to start so a bit later this month. It is Scentillating Indeed. 🙂

          5. nunya biz says:

            I have an expensive perfume habit, PSE, let me know if you find anything good. I haven’t smelled HG’s preferences yet.

          6. Nunya Biz. I am sure the salespeople will have lots of questions about HG, as they flutter about and try to steer me to make a purchase of at least one of those Zillion Dollar Mens` Colognes: What is he like? What is his interests. What type of cologne does he usually wear? What is his profession? His age? His interests? His style? etc. etc. I am interested to see my answers to such questions! Oh…he likes adventure…and falconry…and architecture, and air, sea and land vehicles, heraldry, good literature, film, inheritance and estate laws, people and politics and trade, white papers, dining and some travel, and a lot of intense problem solving….. 🙂

          7. nunya biz says:

            Ha, PSE, you sound like a good cologne ad!

        3. Alexissmith2016 says:

          HG is it a certain type of empath who likes cuddling? Or is this variable amongst all schools?

          1. HG Tudor says:

            It is linked to the Love Devotee and Compassion Traits.

      2. MB says:

        NA, you haven’t lived until you’ve cuddled in bed after making love on a cold and rainy Sunday afternoon. Spooning. Nowhere else to go, nothing else to do. Napping in the warmth and safe arms of your lover.

        1. NarcAngel says:

          Spooning! Pass the gravol……

          1. MB says:

            NA, I had to look that up! 🤢

        2. nunya biz says:

          Yeah MB, one full day, raining…..
          sex-cuddle-sex-cuddle-sex-eat-nap-sex-cuddle

          1. MB says:

            Yes, nunya biz, where’s Ryan Gosling when you want him?

          2. WhoCares says:

            MB – haha!

          3. NarcAngel says:

            You guys are just trying to make me sick now. Waxing poetic about marinating in a bacterial filled petri dish.

          4. MB says:

            Medic! More gravol for NA please!

          5. MB says:

            Oh! and some penicillin too!

          6. Abe Moline says:

            NA,

            Not as long as the substrate has been thoroughly devoured in the meanwhile.

          7. MB says:

            Abe! 😳

          8. MB says:

            NB, Gosling is so yummy! I could eat him with a spoon. But his acting leaves a lot to be desired, bless his little heart.

          9. NarcAngel says:

            Nunya Biz
            Haha. Oh he’ll see the back alright, just not in the way you think.

          10. nunya biz says:

            Gosling is adorable, MP. I love that “Hey Girl” meme.

          11. nunya biz says:

            Sorry for typing MP, MB. I absolutely knew who I was talking to!

          12. nunya biz says:

            “Hey Girl, let me toss your salad” was the one I almost went with!

          13. nunya biz says:

            “Abe! 😳”

            Haha.

        3. ava101 says:

          Exactly. Or during a thunderstorm.

          My lover from 1 year ago hurt me so much, but I will never forget those moments nonetheless.

          1. MB says:

            Yassss ava101, thunderstorms 😍

        4. Lorelei says:

          Making me vomit my dear! I once dated a narcissist who wanted to lay around like that and he always complained because I hated it. I just wanted sex and then to hop up and do whatever. We only had sex on Sundays ironically.

      3. ava101 says:

        Never met a full-on narc who liked to cuddle, so isn’t that a good sign if someone does? Like, not for a forced, awkward 10 minutes, but really full immersion for hours?

        1. empath007 says:

          Nope ! Some use it as a seduction tool. mine cuddled a lot.

      4. ava101 says:

        I love to cuddle, NA, and am very good at getting cuddled. By the right people, of course. Hugs by aquaintances I don’t really know in a social setting freak me out, too.
        The exnarc, and narclike exlover(s), etc. absolutely hated it. Even touch. But I know they can do it if must be … for a very short while. A guy managing to hold me a full night is special to me. Can you imaging a full-blown narc doing that, only faking?

        I had asked the exnarc how the cuddling of his child was going (simply to annoy him) and he said that she wasn’t into it, so no problem at all. (Added of course that her mother was).
        That child is like … 1 or 2 years old!!

      5. Anonymous says:

        Let’s all hope you aren’t a parent of some poor neglected waif.

      6. nunya biz says:

        Ha, I love cuddling! Maybe not for hours, but once in awhile an all day cuddle could be nice.

        1. NarcAngel says:

          Picture holding a cat over a bathtub full of water. That would be my reaction.

          1. blackunicorn123 says:

            Haha NA, that image made me laugh! That’s me too! I hate being hugged, especially in bed when I’m trying to sleep. I need S P A C E.

          2. nunya biz says:

            Ha! I am terrible at initiating cuddling early on, so a sexy man who wraps me into cuddle positions is catnip to me.

      7. Mercy says:

        I sleep with 4 pillows. There’s no room for cuddling in ny bed

      8. Mercy says:

        Hugs are great though. It’s like a quicky cuddle

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