A Fearful Terror



Fear comes in many forms. It has the capacity to cause dread, anxiety and nervousness. Fear is one of the most powerful tools that exists to facilitate control over somebody. Think back to when you were a small child and the things that frightened you. Many of them have a universal applicability. How many times did you cry out to your mother and father in the night because you were frightened of the “monsters under the bed” and you were terrified that once the bedroom door was closed that something would come creeping out of the wardrobe and induce utter fear throughout you? Perhaps it was the strange shapes that formed once the light was turned off with only moonlight streaming through the crack in the curtains so that the shadow thrown across the room appeared like some old crone waiting to come and take you away and eat you. How many times were you warned as a child never to speak to strangers, never to get into a car with somebody you did not know and never to accept sweets from a stranger? Do you recall how this conjured up images of smelly old men in stained raincoats who waited to abduct you and spirit you away to be locked up who knows where? Perhaps there was that house on your walk back from school which had attracted a certain reputation. It was run-down, the garden overgrown, with bushes spilling onto the path, the windows grimy and paint peeling. You were never sure whether anybody actually lived there. Some said that a witch resided there and she waited for children passing on their own before grabbing them and stuffing them in her cellar to starve to death. Others told tales on stormy afternoons which made the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, about the spirits that haunted the old house. A friend would swear that he had walked past, one wet and windy evening, just as it was going dark and he saw the face of a ghostly child staring at him from an upstairs window, the child’s spectral hands knocking against the window as if requesting help. After hearing that tale you took a different route home from school so you did not have to pass this particular house anymore. If that was not possible, you would run past, head down, shouting at the top of your voice to drown out any strange sounds that might come from the trapped ghost child, as you dared not even look towards the house. Fear often stalked your childhood and resulted in sleepless nights, nightmares and a reluctance to go to bed. Do you remember being sent to bed and staring up the stairs towards the darkness wondering what was waiting for you? How you did not want to appear scared in front of your parents (especially since they had let you stay up a while longer because you were a “big boy/girl” now). You wanted to hand those words back as you hovered at the base of the stairs, the hallway colder than the living room from which you had ventured. How many times did the noise of the house settling, resulting in strange groans and creaks convince you that somebody was waiting out of sight in a doorway, their heavy booted foot resting on the squeaky floorboard, rusty axe clutched in greasy, long-nailed fingers?  Did the sight of a clown have you running to hide in the folds of your mother’s dress, that strange leering and accentuated mouth creating panic in your tiny mind? What did that eerie clown have in mind for you?

It might have been a reluctance to paddle barefooted in the sea or a river because you could not see where you were putting your feet. You felt something brush your foot, most likely seaweed, but in your mind some razor-toothed fish was about to take a bite from your ankle or a crab was about to affix a pincer to your big toe. You turned and ran hollering from the edge of the sea back to the safety of the sandy beach. There may have been a murderer’s alleyway in your town, a badly-lit passageway between two roads which was a convenient and easy short cut during the day but a night the purported preserve of lurking knife merchants and yellow-toothed stranglers who were just waiting to pounce and take your life. You stood staring down the alleyway trying to drive the rising fear from you but it just would not go and instead you opted to walk the long way around. It took twenty extra minutes but at least you got home safely.

Fear continued to stalk your life as you grew older. You might not be worried about the bogeyman anymore but he has shapeshifted into the fear that comes with finding a lump about your body and not knowing what it is. Uncertainty about the business for whom you work has you tossing and turning at night. Wondering where the next pay check will come from has you similarly fearing for the future. Walking alone along a road at night and hearing footsteps behind you still causes your heart rate to increase. A glance over your shoulder as you cross the road to the over pavement only serves to heighten your worry as a hooded figure also crosses the road. Your step quickens as your fear increases and your mind floods with images of robbery, rape or murder. When alone in the house at night the sound of a bang from downstairs has you sat bolt upright in bed. What was that noise? Did you dream it? Was it somebody breaking in? Was it something not of this world, a poltergeist perhaps hurling a book against a wall. You cannot see what caused the noise and immediately the fear forms in the pit of your stomach, your racing mind conjuring up a score of unpleasant scenarios as you debate creeping to the top of the stairs and peering down to see if you can ascertain what it was.

Fear takes hold of you and makes your reasoning faulty. It tightens around your throat stopping you from calling out and turns your legs into stone so you are figuratively petrified and unable to escape that unseen tormentor. Fear withers you, paralyses you and you will do anything at all to escape that sensation of fear. It is pervasive, damaging and controlling.

Your greatest fears always stem from the unknown. It is that which you cannot see which causes you the greatest terror. When you cannot see something you are plunged into fear, its icy grip takes hold and you crumble. The unknown and the unseen create the fear. That is why we are so devastatingly effective in our control of you. That is why we create such numbing fear in you.

24 thoughts on “A Fearful Terror

  1. myriflemyponynme says:

    Don’t you fear anything, Sir?
    There is a profusion of “you” not even a hint of an “I” in your article. Projection time !
    Fear is often the guardian of what we value the most. Courage rises from accepting fear(s). The unkown is to be dealt with accordingly. Sorry, it is not Always as trivial as in your examples, it could be primitive . A decade ago, I was convinced that Death was Nothing of my concern. It happens. Decided I was the ultimate fearless screwed me. Rock’n Roll thinking.
    The day my daughter was born, I understood I would not be able to protect and guide her for ever. Death happens. Hormonal pity party. The twist : it was not death but time that happens. From that urgency, I have been tring to make the most of it : from caring to beak pushing and telling the truth. Backbone loving. Unconditionally.
    There is fear and what we do with it.
    If you were not so puffed up with Fear yourself, your kind would come bare face. Would not bother branding people with an expiry date. Preventive self-pity party.

  2. Getting There says:

    HG, I know you have answered this before, and I apologize for asking you to answer again, i cannot find the answer. Are all psychopaths or sociopaths narcissists?
    On a different topic than the article, the guy who killed and wounded many in Dayton. As more information comes out, which is still not much, there were red flags throughout the years. I understand hindsight is 20/20, and I understand that decisions could have been based on him being an adolescent at the time of some of the situations. I am missing the information that identifies him as a narcissist but it sounds like he was a psychopath or sociopath. Is that possible for that to be or shall I wait until everything comes out to see what I have missed?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      They are narcissistic.

      1. Getting There says:

        They are narcissistic but not necessarily narcissists. Thank you, HG!
        He just didn’t seem to fit what I think I understand what you share about narcissists. I know I have wrongly applied your information and I know not everything is known about him. It helps though to know that there is no automatic box of narcissists if he is a psychopath or sociopath.

      2. Lorelei says:

        What? Narcissistic? Did you mean narcissist? If not I’m lost.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          I do not know what you are referring to. You need to be specific please.

          1. Lorelei says:

            Sorry—I always forget you can’t see the thread. Someone asked if a mass shooter (like Dayton) is a narcissist and you replied that or narcissistic. (I think that’s it—I’m still only half awake)

          2. HG Tudor says:

            Thank you. The individual will either be a narcissist or narcissistic or in very rare instances the individual has a temporary erosion of empathy (may be a normal) caused by an external stressor or mental illness.

          3. Kel says:

            HG, why does a narcissist kill a bunch of strangers in a mass shooting spree?

          4. HG Tudor says:

            To exert control.

          5. NarcAngel says:

            To get to the other side?

            Oh…er……never mind…

          6. Getting There says:

            I’m sorry, I didn’t clearly ask the question I was trying to ask. I was asking if a person who is a sociopath or psychopath is automatically a narcissist as well.
            The Dayton shooter didn’t temporarily lose his empathy. He was clearly either a sociopath or psychopath. Of the little information out there, I don’t see how he is a narcissist. He didn’t act on instinct in high school when he made the lists and was able to come back to school and make friends. One friend was even on his list in high school and that guy was with him the night of the shooting. He didn’t appear to need a facade as he showed his girlfriend videos on their first date. Therefore, I don’t see Lesser or Midrange. I don’t see a Greater doing this kind of tragedy.

          7. HG Tudor says:

            All psychopaths and sociopaths have narcissistic qualities.

          8. Kel2day says:

            It’s odd that it’s Control the narc mass shooter is after, considering they plan on doing it, and knowing their outcome is either their own death or imprisonment.

          9. HG Tudor says:

            No, they are not thinking about that when they are asserting control, why do you think so many end up getting caught or shot? Because this is a collateral consequence which they have no regard to. You see the problem ahead but you are assuming those narcissists think like you, they do not.

            Why do you think some commit suicide when cornered in these mass shootings – control.

          10. Kel2day says:

            HG, I want to make sure you know I wasn’t doubting you, I just thought it was odd thinking on their part. It is hard for me to think like they do, but it seems that control over life and death must be a great temptation to them that they can’t resist doing.

          11. HG Tudor says:

            Quite alright, I know you were not doubting me.

          12. Getting There says:

            Thank you, HG!

            NA, I think in this case that was the case. I think he was on a suicide mission and going to go down living up his dream.

  3. deniseisdone says:

    Yes they do!! I was wondering if you plan on doing anymore of the TTI Friday??? LOVE THEM!!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Yes when I have time to do so.

    2. Anm says:

      I love them too

      1. Whitney says:

        Me too HG soothes me

        1. HG Tudor says:

          I sooth souls.

          1. Whitney says:

            Definitely. Now I wanna gush over you again..

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