A Letter to the Narcissist – No. 98



Thank you for everything…

Because, thanks to you, I have found the Love of my life.

Because thanks to you, I could finally see the person who has always shared, my triumphs and failures, my sorrows and my satisfactions, my hardships and my joys, my victories and my great defeats.

And this one always remained with me, and I do not fail.

Because thanks to you, I found the only being in my life, the one to whom I belong and to whom I owe myself. This is the one to whom I will dedicate myself, body and soul, take care of and be faithful to, until my last breath of life.

This is the person I was looking for and couldn’t find, but thanks to you I was finally able to find. The only person who deserves, each of my sighs, thoughts and my time.

Thank you for making me understand in this process that finding her was ridiculously easy, if I had paid due attention. I’m sorry it took so long. But thanks to you, I finally found it and now I am infinitely happy.

This is the person who was always with me all this time.

She is indefatigable and brilliant, generous and kind, simply wonderful. A diamond that I didn’t know how to value in time.

But now fortunately thanks to you, I was able to find her again.

Because she always held me in my dark nights, and dried my tears and resisted with me every difficult period and remained carrying me when I was broken. She tried to apply balsams, but she took him away from me, in an unpleasant and hostile way. I try to heal my wounds, but I refused to do it, and I didn’t let her do it. Once and a thousand times I mistreated her because I didn’t contemplate her.

Maybe I didn’t want it initially, or maybe I didn’t contemplate this possibility.

That’s why I failed her and I was unfaithful to her on countless occasions. And I wasn’t worried about his feelings.  Actually, I could feel his pain inside me, but I didn’t know how to see it or value it. Because I was selfish and only wanted my own satisfaction without looking at it or considering it. I jumped her limits, but she didn’t give up. She remained firm and faithful for me and for my Love.

Thanks to you, I was able to see her once again. She was still here with me. Her light was shining, so sparkling, that I fell in love with her again. So strong, so pure, so hard, so sharp, so sharp, so faceted, surrounded by that blinding light that prevented me from contemplating her hidden and secret love for me.

Now forgive me, but I can only Love this person. For she loved me without limits and unconditionally, and I can only correspond to her.

Because, such was her love, so pure and unlimited for me, that without limits I forgive my faults.

And now I have learned to love her without limits. Because before she loved me unconditionally.

The one I never consider, nor look at, today is my morning star and tomorrow’s star and always.

Thank you for teaching me, through this difficult, stony and meaningless path.

Thank you for giving me such a person diamond again.

The most valuable things in life are often despised, only maturation makes you realize how important they are in life. To the person who waits for me, and I love unconditionally in spite of my infidelity with you.

Thank you, for making me discover in your reflection, the only person who can make me happy and that I did not consider.

But thanks to you, you made me see her again and find her again.



13 thoughts on “A Letter to the Narcissist – No. 98

  1. Mary says:

    I understand now, according to the readers comments, that she has found herself and her own self-love.

    But still i don’t understand who she is referring to when she says:
    … ”but she took him away from me.”..
    …” i could feel his pain inside me..”

    Who is that “he” ??

    Can anyone explain?

  2. the vinyl analysis says:

    This is me, today. I went NC today and this gave me chills.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Well done.

  3. Sisty says:

    Read it as if she is talking to the pure and good inner child within herself, within all of us, and then it makes perfect sense. This is brilliant.

  4. Mary says:


    This letter is confusing..
    Is he a gay ?
    Or a narc trying to hoover?

    1. Joanne says:

      I believe the writer is referring to herself. Thanks to the narc for having found herself again, for being able to love herself from within again.

      1. Mary says:


        I am astounded that you can interpret it.. because , firstly, it seems to me that it is a man writing, then you would think then that he is writing the letter to a narc woman …

        Then it seems that he is implying that the woman that loves him, ” has taken him away”…
        My question: who has taken who away???

        Then he also says ” actually i could feel his pain inside..”
        Who is this “he”…

        Very Confusing …

        1. Joanne says:

          I could be wrong, I could be projecting my own interpretation onto this letter. But it hit me instantly, that she was thanking him for the mirroring, thanking him for reflecting back at her what was within herself, which in the end was what showed her to love herself again. We have to be our own biggest supporters, drag ourselves out of bed each day we feel weary and tired, cheer ourselves on when the simplest tasks seem insurmountable, etc. Finding the will to do those things when you’ve been cut down to nothing forces you to summon the strength and self love you absolutely need to move on. Because there is nothing and no one left – but you.

          Being faithful and loving to oneself (to me) means to set boundaries, gain self respect, and maintain that first and foremost without having to rely on it from an outside source. So yes, she found all that within herself. Again, all my interpretation! Sorry JDG if I am completely off base 🙂

          1. Twisted Heart says:

            I agree Joanne. I interpreted it the exact same way. She has learned to love herself. She has made herself the priority after all the years of putting that into someone else that could never love her the way she knows she deserves.
            It reminded me of one of my favourite poems by Derek Walcott “Love After Love”

          2. Joanne says:

            What a perfect poem! I just looked it up. Thank you for sharing 🙂

          3. Mary says:


            Ohhhhhhh. … i get it !!!

            Thank you

      2. Mary says:


        It means that she is talking about herself when she talks about the faitfull loving person she now has found ?

        Found herself.


  5. Christopher Jackson says:

    Well that is one way of putting it they are such bad people you should be able to spot a good person without being ensnared again…you should at least I think you should.

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