If your romantic ensnarement was with a somatic or an elite cadre of narcissist, you will have experienced how we use sex as a weapon of mass seduction. You will have experienced a lot of sex and of a spectacular quality – so long as it served our purposes.
Whilst high quality sex is not a hallmark of all ensnarements with a narcissist, where it does happen, this often proves to be an enduring temptation. A victim recognises they were entangled with a narcissist, they were abused, mistreated, treated as second best but my oh my, the sex was soooo good.
This results in misplaced notions on the part of the victim, once they have achieved realisation as to what they have become involved with.
“He is a user, so now I am going to use him by just using him for sex. It is all he is good for.” – A misplaced notion of revenge.
“After all she has put me through, I may as well get something out of it.” – A misplaced notion of compensation for the misery endured.
“I miss the sex but nothing else, so now I know what he is, I can just take the sex and leave everything else.” – A misplaced notion of being able to control someone who is not to be controlled.
“I find normal people boring and it is only narcissists which excite me sexually, so I have to scratch the itch, even if it means seeing him from time to time.” – A misplaced notion that you are unable to enjoy a fulfilling sexual relationship with a normal individual.
“Let´s see how he likes it when I ruin his relationship with the next person by continuing to sleep with him, let him feel what it is like.” – A misplaced notion that we think and feel in the way that you do.
All of the above are examples of emotional thinking corrupting empathic and/or narcissistic traits.
No matter how amazing the sexual relationship was, you were still being conned because the great sex was just another manipulation, there is no guarantee that you will be provided with it should you seek to continue the sexual relationship with the narcissist and as always, allowing yourself to be led by your emotional thinking will result in you being impaled on The Devil´s Pitchfork of fuel provision, adverse consequence and increase emotional thinking.
Continuing to have a sexual relationship with a narcissist, even when you make this choice, is a breach of no contact.
Do not continue a sexual relationship with a narcissist.
Get Out. Stay Out!