Heart Hooks No. 1 – Narc Sayings Of Seduction
(This is a meme. There is no accompanying text.)
Did the narcissist say this to you? How was it conveyed, when was it conveyed and what was your response?
Do you believe in the concept of soulmates? If this phrase (or similar) was said to you, how did it make you feel? What did you believe by it?
28 thoughts on “Heart Hooks No. 1 – Narc Sayings Of Seduction”
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Nothing my side except tons of love songs and mindless memes and on the one occasion, “there is just something about you.” Six years later he triangulated me with a new woman. When I asked if it was serious he said, “no, we’ve been chatting online for two years!! There is just something about her.” They sure tell us who they are don’t they. Something is all it takes!!
My situation is maybe different than many, in that I’m in a relationship with a grandiose narcissist, but have inverted NPD myself. Yes, in the beginning he did say stuff like that (not those exact words)…. but something like “We’re perfect together”. He said I love you first, and soon. It didn’t phase me.
Truth is, I do that sort of thing – minus the romance obviously – in other relationships, to an extent. When I become involved with a new “friend” (it’s friendship on their side, though not on mine), I find similarities and point them out. We both have horses, or we both play guitar. Whatever. Then they start sharing everything with me, and don’t even notice my lack of sharing anymore after the initial bit or any of my problems.
I suppose my spouse did to me basically what I do to others, and I didn’t notice it. That was long ago, and before I knew of NPD.
There is no such thing as inverted NPD, Blue.
What if a third party tells you that you are soulmates and were meant to be together
Another narcissist may well have entered the dynamic.
The third party that said we were meant to be together was her mother.
Well he never said those words, soul mate or twin flame. And I never believed in the concept before I met him. I always felt it was rubbish.
However after reconnecting with him many years later, the commonalities were too many to ignore. We actually did share many interests, hobbies and intellectual pursuits. It was all so effortless.
The silent treatments were the first sign that there was more to him. There is also an inability to express deep feelings. As I am sensitive, I noticed the reservations he had in being genuine. It has taken years but mostly I feel he now trusts me.
I got, “we have a connection” It was more alluding to the fact that something we couldn’t see was drawing us together and letting me draw my own conclusion as to what it was.
Yes!!! Those exact words! Triggered!
How much we agreed on so many different subjects and the connection we had and why it obvious why it didn’t work out with his ex’s because we were meant to cross paths, because we are soul mates. This was in amongst the love bombing at the beginning, maybe around 2/3 months in. My response was of course elation at the time, how was I so lucky to find my apparent soulmate when only 3 months earlier my best mate, my Dad, passed away suddenly from a stroke AND to top it off this new love of my life was from a different country, so for us to cross paths was meant to be, right?
No, I didn’t believe in the concept of soulmates, until I thought I was a part of this phenomenon. It made me feel really secure, nothing could come between us, like we had a special bond like no other, we were going to conquer the world as a team and that person really understood me and took me for who I was, the search was over my hero in shining amour had arrived, except after closer inspection my “hero” was apparently a mid range narcissist wrapped in tin foil.
Hello Trudy, you put your full name and email address as your “handle” so I edited it out, just so you are aware for future comments you may make.
Thank you HG appreciated.
Mine called me his soulmate all of the time. Also the love of his life. We are 51 years old when we meet and he said when we were in high school God was looking down on us and smiling knowing that one day we would be together . He told me on our first date he hopes this is his last first date . Later He told me he knew I was the one after our first phone call before we ever met. He told me several times in the first couple of months of dating he wants to marry me .
HG no one has ever called me their soul mate
However my husband told me that he wanted to marry me on our first date .I dont think it’s the same thing or is it?
Not a soulmate but said we were kindred spirits. It was during of one of our long conversations where it seemed we had a lot in common, in terms of how we saw things. This was during the love- bombing stage, however we never transitioned to a physical relationship but he dangled the carrot mercilessly until I escaped. He told me he felt he knew me for years even though we just met and that I’m part of his inner circle where he only shared certain things. It was a good feeling because I really looked up to him as a person of superior intellect and not because of low self esteem because I am well educated. I felt safe with him, and understood on a deep level like never before, also that I could relax control and let him take care of things. I was married at the time and he told me was in a serious relationship.
No he didn’t. I would have asked : how do you know that we have a spiritual connection? If we were soulmates indeed i would have known that too and you didn’t have to tell me that.
AR
I did hear this a few times. Sometimes it was said in a lighthearted, silly way. But I never dared to ask how he “knew” this. It was good enough for me to believe he thought it 🙄
Joanne
I like to question everything.
In theory a person can have many soulmates but only ONE twin flame. Twin flames unlike soulmates share one soul.
There are spiritual coaches out there on youtube. I don’t know if you read my comment on pointless platitudes. So basically after i heard about these concepts from victims of narcissistic abuse i started to learn about them out of curiosity and to find answers to some of questions that came to my mind. One spiritual coach said people use these concepts as spiritual based excuse to continue to stay in toxic relationships. And I’d like to ask some of them who call themselves to be twin flames and teach people about this kind of relationships: Where is your TF? Why didn’t you reunite? How come you can teach people when you didn’t manage to reunite with your so called divine partner yourself?(on videos some say not all twin flames are meant to be together. There are here to teach you some lessons…)
AR
That is pretty interesting about the call out of the YouTube coaches / where their TF is🤔 I don’t know how much I believe in (or ever really believed in) soul mates. I believe in soul *compatibility* and soul complement though, for sure. Soul mate sounded nice for me to hear, but as you said in your original comment, if it was a real “mate,” both parties would just feel it/know it without it being announced.
Yes.
The soulmate thing.
Its funny at the moment! Today’s a FANTASTIC day!
But it sure wasn’t funny at the time. I believed it.
Hmm actually nobody has ever called me a soul mate. However for some reason, at the time of the seduction, I didn’t have any explanation for the way that he was staring at me and for the many similarities we had because of his mirroring and the way that he reacted when I rejected his overtures and the addiction that I had on him whom I have not met before which was weirdly intense. So my I came up with ‘soul mate’ in my mind to explain all of that weird stuff. I was neutral on the soul mate concept before I met him. I was on the practical side believing that you just have to find a good person to love and be your partner in life and be good to that person so that it will last forever. I have always been a love devotee but I didn’t really subscribe to the concept of soul mate specifically but the experience (of addiction) was so intense and unreasonable or illogical so I thought that this must be what people call as soul mates.
With your permission HG, I would like to pose a different question…..? Is there a narcissist that hasn’t cast their IPPS or IPSS in the role of soulmate at some point?
No.
Notes! Is there a specific reason as to why?
Why as to what, Sarah? I cannot see the previous comment.
WHAT??
No man has ever said those words to me! Variations on a theme maybe but to come out, all gushing like with ‘You’re my twin flame’ or other such tommy rot, no.
I’m guessing that they keep those words in their noodles???
Good!
Doesn’t have to say it, but still regard someone that way.
Yup. I see. WEIRD!!! And yet we are treated so callously in the disengagement.
As you say, adored and abhorred.
Indeed, Renarde.