6 Speciality Hoovers (And How To Unplug Them)


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The hoover. An instrument of cleaning and the instrument by which we endeavour to suck you back into our false reality so we can exert our hold over you once again. Hoovers come at various stages of your dance with us and also come in a variety of forms and guises so that you may not even realise that a hoover is taking place. Hoovers come in two categories which are linked to when they take place and the method adopted to hoover. Some methods can apply to different times in the interaction with our kind, others apply to just one time, often post discard or post escape. There are scores of different methods used in hoovers but here are six which may or may not be familiar to you along with how you can endeavour to pull the plug on them and avoid being sucked in. It is worth pointing out of course that if your narcissist cannot find you and contact you, the hoover can never get started, but that state of affairs is not always possible.
The Proxy Hoover
This does not come from the narcissist but from one of his supporters in his coterie or his Lieutenants. It usually comes from a Lieutenant who can be relied on to execute the hoover in precisely the way that we have directed. The Proxy Hoover will often include a different type of hoover e.g. The Medical Emergency Hoover where the narcissist will use a genuine or more likely feign a medical emergency to force interaction between you and the narcissist and engender sympathy. With the proxy, the call alerting you to the emergency concerning the narcissist will come from the Lieutenant. Like any proxy hoover, there are several reasons for adopting this approach: –
You may not realise the person is a lieutenant and therefore you are more likely to respond to what they say than if it came from our kind, especially if you have instigated no contact;
The conflict between you and us is ameliorated as a consequence of the involvement of this third party, meaning you are more likely to believe what you are being told;
The proxy may stand more chance of persuading you to act;
You may regard what we say and do with suspicion but not this third party
You may not want to look bad in the eyes of the third party by failing to respond.
The key to dealing with this hoover is actually recognise what it is. It is not a third party asking for your help, it is a third party coercing you into contact with us again. You should be especially aware of any of your friends or family asking you to see us or do something for us, or if they comment about how good you and I were together, that we really do miss you and so on. We will infiltrate your supporters to gain added credibility and slip under your radar in this manner. Be aware that any third party who asks you to engage with us is a proxy who is executing the hoover on our behalf. No matter how purportedly significant the event is, the emotional pull involved or the persuasion applied reject it and do so in a firm and business-like manner. Do not show indecision, do not appear upset or concerned or even annoyed or irritated by the approach – even if you do not engage this reaction will be reported to us and will achieve two things for us. One, fuel. Secondly, we know we still have an effect on you and we will keep hoovering. If you are concerned the nature of the proxy hoover may be genuine suggest the Lieutenant finds someone else to help.
The Reverse Hoover
This is quite a cunning method of hoovering. We let it be known through various channels that we do not want anything to do with you, that you should never darken our doorstep again and that we are through with you. This message will be broadcast over all channels – through friends, family, social media and so on. It is not said by us directly to you, that would defeat the purpose. We ensure this message reaches you and the aim is to have you disbelieve that we would say such a thing about you and to appeal to your desire to prove us wrong. Just in the way that a parent causes problems by denying a teenager any opportunity to hang out after 9pm, so they go and do it anyway, by telling you there is something that you cannot do, you then want to do it. Of course we have to gauge the right recipient of this hoover as some people will be content to hear us say those words. It is usually done with those we have discarded without telling that person they have been discarded and they cannot quite believe that it is at an end. This proclamation will cause them concern but they are still not ready to accept that it is the case that the relationship has ended (and they are right because it never ends) and therefore they come looking for an explanation and confirmation that what they have heard is not true. By not telling you direct we can tell you that the rumours you have heard are false and welcome you back with open arms as you are successfully hoovered. Again, recognise this for what it is and avoid acting on what you have been told. It is a ruse to play on your trait of needing to know. If you hear such things being said tell yourself that the comments are true, it is over and we do not want anything to do with you and stay away.
The Letterbox Hoover

This hoover utilises the strong link we know that exists for some time post discard or post escape between seeing a trigger and the golden memories (and/or dark memories) that flow from the trigger. For example, we always slow danced to a particular piece of music with you which made you feel loved and wonderful. If you hear that piece of music the memory is awakened and we flood your memory and your senses. This is ever presence. To avoid this happening you need to take all steps not to play this piece of music again, indulge yourself with new pieces of music and if you hear it inadvertently to switch it off or move away from its source. With this hoover we want to scale your defences and use ever presence to get back in to your head, cause you to think of us and react (and although we do not see it we will get fuel because we know how you will respond) and make you vulnerable to wanting to contact us or a further hoover approach from us. One method of doing this is to send you a birthday or Christmas card with a beautiful, thoughtful handwritten message, often alluding to what we did together on a wonderful birthday or Christmas together during our golden period. This arrives with other cards and therefore is less noticeable. We will most likely print the address or have someone else write it for us so our handwriting does not alert you on the envelope. Once you open it, you read the message and see it is from us and bam! We are in your head and heart once again. It is a pleasant gesture, no malice and you will remember all the good things, think about us, want to contact us and thank us and wonder if this represents a fresh beginning of good relations or the chance to get back together and do things right this time. It is a hoover pure and simple.
To tackle this covert hoovering method, have someone vet all cards and parcels which are sent to you around Christmas, birthday and other appropriate festivals and events. Once checked this person can weed out anything from us and then reseal the envelopes for you so you still have the pleasant act of opening the envelopes and cards for yourself, that have been sent from anybody but us.
The Psychic Connection
This is effective if we know that you are a spiritual person who believes in psychic events, astrology, ghosts, telepathy and the emotional connections between people that are stronger than normal. These beliefs and similar are often applicable to empathic people who of course form our victims of choice. We will use a supposed psychic connection or event to appeal to this nature of yours in order to signify that something special has happened which means we need to be together. We have to have the means of contacting you, often by sending you a message or leaving a voicemail. It is done in a dramatic fashion as we have suddenly uncovered a mystical or portentous occurrence which is of deep-seated significance which tells us that we are meant to be together, we should see each other straight away to discuss its implications or that it has caused us to see the light with it being conveyed in such a manner. Examples will include
Claiming to have dreamt about you in a strange and significant way;
We have seen a clairvoyant who spoke about you and I;
We saw your image when you were not there as if you needed to tell us something;
A picture of you fell off the wall or fell over on our desk without explanation and we knew this meant you wanted to get in touch;
We have had a vision of something terrible happening to you and we have to warn you to save you;
Your face appeared in the froth on our morning latte;
Your name was spelt in jam on the kitchen floor when we dropped our toast.
From the possible to the ridiculous we will exploit your belief in such things in order to establish contact again. Recognise any messages that allude to the above or similar things as what they are; a hoover and do not respond to them in any fashion no matter how curious or compelling it may feel.
The Silent Hoover
This comes in the form of a telephone call but there is no message left or nobody speaks when you answer. It is a blank text message or empty e-mail. It is an invitation to use a particular app on your phone. The purpose of this is to get you to respond to find out why it was sent or done. Once you do so we will either escalate the nature of the hoover by turning on the charm or trying to draw sympathy etc. through the application of a further hoover. We may not respond when you telephone but we know that we have been able to make you respond and we will do a few further Silent Hoovers to increase your curiosity and confirm that you are vulnerable now to our overture by way of a further hoover.  If you fail to respond or do so and dismiss us we save face by saying it was sent by mistake a “butt call” or we hit the wrong key etc. If you respond favourably then we have a green light to apply further pressure to seduce you again. Once again recognise this for what it is and no matter how curious as to why it has been sent do not respond. It is a hoover which will rope you in and have you subjected to further additional hoovers of a different nature.
The Prove Yourself Hoover
Similar to The Reverse Hoover, this hoover relies on your need to say your piece, stand up for yourself and have the last word. It relies on ensuring that a smear campaign has been effected against you and something particularly ridiculous or savage has been said about you. We will ensure that word reaches you through messages from third parties, third parties telling you to your face or postings on social media so you are gripped by the need to respond, set the record straight and tell us what has really happened in order to get us to accept this and issue an apology and correction. We know the type of victim that this really strikes home with, those who always need the truth to be told, who need to be held in correct regard by other people and those who must set us straight. We know you will be sat bristling, incredulous at what is being said about you and you cannot help yourself but want to get the true version out there and ram our words back down our throat. This hoover relies on this and the fuel that flows as you come charging at us ready to make us eat our words. This is precisely that we want to happen.
Again, recognise it is happening and do not respond. If you need to ensure people know the truth, then tell them in an even-handed and level manner and refer to evidence wherever possible rather than oral testimony and hearsay. Do not try and approach us, do not try and persuade us. We are not interested in that. We are interested in your fuel and getting to interact with you again.
To learn more about the narcissistic hoover read Black Hole – Available on Amazon
US  https://www.amazon.com/Black-Hole-Narcissistic-Hoover-Tudor-ebook/dp/B01D7OPOFQ
UK https://www.amazon.co.uk/Black-Hole-Narcissistic-Hoover-Tudor-ebook/dp/B01D7OPOFQ
CAN  https://www.amazon.ca/Black-Hole-Narcissistic-Hoover-Tudor-ebook/dp/B01D7OPOFQ
AUS  https://www.amazon.com.au/gp/product/B01D7OPOFQ6 SPECIALITY HOOVERS.jpg

14 thoughts on “6 Speciality Hoovers (And How To Unplug Them)

  1. AR says:

    I do believe in telepathic communication if people have a spiritual connection. He knows nothing about my spiritual side. There was a time when he asked me: Are we clairvoyant? Maybe you can see that i am hungry right now?

    I had my spiritual awakening after discard and it was painful process.

  2. Violetta says:

    Months after our previous meeting:
    He: I’ve been having these DREAMS about you.
    Me: Dry, I hope.
    He: No, they were WET….
    Me: You should see a urologist.
    He: It has nothing to do with urination.
    Me: Don’t be self-conscious; lots of men have problems as they approach a certain age (he was late 20s).

    I was supposed to ask him what he had dreamed; I didn’t.
    I was supposed to ask him why he had acted one way and then another with no discernible provocation; I didn’t.
    I was supposed to cry; I didn’t.

    But of course my snotty remarks were just another kind of fuel.

  3. NotMe! says:

    What a sense of relief! I’ve been pretending no contact for a week now, checking my phone frequently and feeling anxious each time it pinged. Having read this post, Fuel and Black Hole I’ve deleted whatsapp from my phone, deleted his number and email contact from phone. Put all his emails in spam until I can change email address. Sent messages to people he might contact and said please ‘ignore and block’. And I think I might sleep tonight. I was sceptical about this site initially, it felt somehow that I was becoming more concerned/freaked out rather than less,. But I feel stronger from having received so much information and more free having followed the advice. Thanks again

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Well done, you are making constructive steps forward.

    2. cogra002 says:

      Yep, you made positive 1st steps . Better than me at the moment. I also pretend no Contact most of the time. I do answer sometimes but as gray rock as much as possible. I can tell u one concrete reason my method is no good, and why you should listen to HG and not go my path.
      Depending on what is going on in the fuel matrix, when the Narc is devalueing or fighting with the current primary, he will reach out to lovebomb u again, and it can drag you backwards. That reach out will be very temporary and then you will feel even worse when he goes back to the new primary and casts you aside again. Or when he’s spinning up a new one. This never ends. Yours is the path.

  4. Stacey says:

    I am elated that I’ve finally found a place that I can share my hoover story from a few years back. The back story is lengthy but necessary in understanding how he was able to pull this off. In my opinion it’s juicy and I think most will enjoy it.
    I had left him again for I think the sixth time. His behavior was outright selfish and I was done. I wanted nothing to do with him and refused any and all contact with him. It was a breeze. He made a huge mistake and there was no denying it on his part ( naturally a small part of him still tried). I won’t get into the reason, it wasn’t infidelity. I left him the first time for that. This time it was so much easier because it was extremely black and white. He was wrong, he was the wrong doer. There was no room for taking sides ( or so I thought). I didn’t have to plead my case or try to convince anyone that I was without a doubt the one who was wronged. I just didn’t and let me tell you how great that felt. , His actions were mirroring the person he really was. There was no gray area. I felt validated, for once but it didn’t last.
    Moving on, I hadn’t spoken to him in awhile, let’s say months which for me was amazing. I was proud of myself because I finally felt I was moving on. Silly girl. During this time, unbeknownst to me, my narc had become quite close with my mother and my family. He spent weekends not only with my mother and father, but my sister, her husband and their children. He told my father and brother in law to come over and hunt anytime they like. Come over and fish at the lake on our property, I just stocked it with trout. There were sleepovers with camp fires and s’mores. He had become the favorite uncle. He was and still is extremely generous with my family, especially birthdays and Christmas. Let’s not forget Mother’s Day. In the meantime, he is also starting the smear campaign against me, with my own family!!!!! Naturally I was clueless until he said something to me in an argument to the tune of “Well, even your mother agrees with me and thinks you were out of line”. Wow….that was an eye opener. He managed to slowly work his way into my family and become the victim. To this day I don’t even talk to my family about him because I consider them all lieutenants. My mother leading the helm.
    Ok…now for the hoover tour de force. Again, it’s been months since I talked to him. One day, my mother calls me and tells me that my narc had been sick with a cough and also chest pains that weren’t resolving. He finally went to the doctor. They naturally did a full work up on him. The x-rays showed a lesion on one of his lungs. That was the moment he reeled me back in. I immediately thought to myself if he has cancer, I have to take care of him. I have to. I had recently started seeing someone but that didn’t matter. If he needed me I would be there. I know that’s horrible, I know it is. But this is how this man has gotten into my soul and my brain. I would drop everything and anyone because he needed me. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I didn’t do this for him. He has cancer (well maybe). All is forgiven and all that matters is that I was there for him when he needed me. I was there for him. I don’t care what he did to me, cancer washes it all away. That’s how I thought. I never even considered it to be a hoover. I didn’t even know there was name for this sort of thing. It wouldn’t have mattered because I wouldn’t have recognized it as a hoover either way. It wasn’t a hoover it was fate. We belonged together and his cancer brought us back together. Isn’t that sick? I’m embarrassed to admit I actually felt this way. I typically don’t entertain myself with fairy tales, but you better believe that day I was writing my own.
    So at the end of the day, yes this was a hoover. He didn’t have cancer. He’s alive and well with a clean bill of health. Did he even have a lesion on his lung? Probably not. I’m fairly certain it would be frowned upon to ask to see the x-ray for proof. When someone tells you they potentially have cancer, you don’t question it. What type of person lies about potentially having cancer? A narcissist.
    Can I just say how cathartic this was?

  5. Tudorfan says:


  6. Blondie says:

    HG..how prevalent is it for a mid ranger to resurect an Ipps back into the formal relationship after several years .I know he is very low in fuel at present .I have been told he is engaging with her again. many thanks

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I need more information in order to provide an accurate answer to your circumstances and therefore you ought to arrange a consultation.

      1. Blondie says:

        will do thankyou.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Jolly good, I look forward to assisting you.

          1. cogra002 says:

            “Jolly good”….love it. I must incorporate that into my speech, lol

  7. NotMe! says:

    So very helpful thank you

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You’re welcome

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