We do not do things by halves. There is no magnolia adorning the walls where we live. Muzak does not play in the background and we never choose to eat vanilla ice cream. If it is neutral, if it is middle of the road and if it is sat on the fence we do not want to know. If it is bland you can forget about it, if something is inoffensive it is of no use to us and words such as unobjectionable, unprejudiced and unbiased are pointless.

We are not interested in fair or equitable and indifference is loathed by us. If you are uncommitted, open-minded, even-handed, detached and unaligned you are not performing as we want you to. Anything which smacks of being straight down the middle holds no interest for us because everything that we want has to be extreme. We want it ice cold or burning hot. Take our ignited fury for instance. When you pass comment on us or do something which is a criticism and you do so in an unemotional, detached and straightforward manner you may as well drive a spear into our hearts as this criticism wounds and burns. To counter it, our fury will ignite and then we retaliate by adopting the extreme. We may lash out at you, pouring scorn and labelling you with a medley of offensive and nasty words, designed to tear into you and cause you to sob. We may adopt the other extreme and provide you with our haughty and stand-offish cold fury, the icy glare and cold shoulder turned towards you. We live and flourish by extremes. There is never any settling for average. It is either feast or famine.

In the beginning, we must create a deluge of false affection as we lavish you with compliments and praise. The words come easily and these softly spoken or enthused exclamations (even our method of delivery adopts an extreme) are poured over you so you are drenched with our affection and love. You are drowning in desire, swamped by our seduction and buried beneath an avalanche of affection. You are given the expensive gifts, nothing cheap, nothing crass or tatty, only the finest and most delightful items are selected for you. You are regaled with tales of our achievements, our excellence and our brilliance. I was not player of the year once but four times. I am not just the highest biller in the department but the entire firm. My car is top of its range. I only ever eat organic, none of that fast processed food for me. My handkerchiefs are silk not cotton. I have three toothbrushes for morning, noon and night. I use four different skin products when I wash in the morning. You read War and Peace in a week? I did it in three days. I don’t just text message you once or twice each day, no, what would be the point of that? You receive a text tsunami. Impressed? You ought to be. That is how special you are and how sensational I am by being able to ping text after text your way and still be as hard-working as I am.

I don’t obey the speed limit, that is for ordinary people. When it is time to go out and party, you will always notice when my entourage and I have arrived. Just watch that bar bill escalate. Why have one partner when five can be juggled? Why gamble a hundred pounds when a thousand will win much more? Five star? I want five-star superior? I am the five-star combatant – the Admiral of the Fleet, Field Marshal and Marshal of the Air Force. Turn it up to eleven. Why a dozen guests? Make it two dozen. Let’s make a show, let’s make a splash, let’s push it further. I lead a life of excess. I engage in extreme behaviours. I never just talk, I either shout and rage or seductively whisper. I don’t get a cold, I have pneumonia and you had better look after me whilst I have it.

Not only do I cause you to soar to the heights, I also take you to the extreme depths. I freeze you out. I lambast you with acidic words. I take it away and send you tumbling towards rock bottom. Down, downwards I will cast you. I don’t just want you to cry, I want you to wail and scream. I don’t want you irritated by my behaviour, I want you to be angry, blowing a gasket, beside yourself with annoyance. I do not want you to be sad, I want you to be desolate. I do not want you to be unhappy, I want you to be mired in misery. High or low, it does not matter as long as it is not in the middle.

Why am I like this? Why does my kind and me never settle for okay or fine, but have to take it to outstanding or terrible? We do so because extreme means special. Extreme means superior. Extreme means you will take notice of me. I do not just fade into the background. I am not beige. I do not sink into a grey sea. I am impenetrable darkness and I am glorious light. I am not a steady monotone, for I am the heavy, resonant and sonorous bass and the tinkling angelic bells.

I am like this because nobody remembers the middle man, the middle ranking and the go-between. Neutral is nothing. I must be noticed. I must be admired. I must shock and awe. I must stand out, turn heads and be the topic of conversation, good or bad, it matters not so long as I am recognised. I must provoke, stimulate and arouse so I am always noticed and paid attention to. I must always take it as far as possible and the further again. Extreme is the only option available to me. How else am I going to fill this emptiness?

18 thoughts on “Extreme

  1. Alexissmith2016 says:

    Agh I’m torn between apologising, accepting I was wrong saying you were right to make an example of me so that you welcome me back into the fold or saying that you don’t know the answer to that and therefore you haven’t responded. Add it to my ever lengthening list. I’ll need to buy a scroll soon I fear.

    What to do?

  2. Bostongirl13 says:

    The damned emptiness, it’s no real wonder why Borderlines and Narcissists tango so well across the dance floor…

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Except they do not.

      1. bostongirl13 says:

        I stand corrected. No one will ever tango “well” with a Narcissist. The N will bore, tire, and discard ALL in the end. I should say the dance between these particular two is well studied and the attraction well documented.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          You are welcome, BG13. Again, what people are studying is not actually what they think it is. It is When Narcissists Collide.

          1. bostongirl13 says:

            You are correct, Sir. How I very much appreciate, your mind.

          2. HG Tudor says:

            You are most welcome and your open-minded approach is to your credit.

          3. bostongirl13 says:

            Thank you, Sir

          4. Alexissmith2016 says:

            Hmmm if that’s the case HG, was that true of Diana and Charles then?

          5. HG Tudor says:

            Was what true AS2016?

          6. alexissmith2016 says:

            That it wasn’t a dance between a BPD and an N, instead it was When Narcissists Collide between Diana and Charles?

      2. Lorelei says:

        (Re, borderlines..)
        Basically borderlines (not emotional empaths that are mischaracterized) ARE simply a flavor of how narcissism manifests under a different lamp shade?! I get more insight hanging out here than on Facebook HG.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Good to read.

          1. Lorelei says:

            That I like you better than FB? Or that borderlines wear a different lamp shade? I’m rarely on FB anymore! Just for pics for family to see! I’m glad I’m not a borderline sorta messed up.

          2. HG Tudor says:

            That you prefer me to FB.

          3. Lorelei says:

            Don’t make fun of this question. Women typically want to know how weird it is if a man wants alternate forms of sexual activity. (Basically he wants anal stimulation) This seems really unusual from the mainstream perspective, yes it is why I said not to poke fun at the question. Is this a pink flag or a red flag? We need to know.

          4. HG Tudor says:

            Unfortunately your question made fun of it as it was asked.

          5. Lorelei says:

            Seriously. It’s a deal breaker for me but I’m open minded and respectful. A group and I talked about all sorts of sexual behavior for a long while. It was funny at times but often there is a serious intent to such conversation.

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