20 Cries of the Victim


We do not think of ourselves as victims, to do so would be weak and we are not weak. You are. We are better than you. We do however feel put upon, hard done by and persecuted and it is you that does these things in order to victimise us.

Evidencing our legendary double standards, we do not consider ourselves as victims as this does not accord with our sense of superiority, but we like to portray a victim mentality because doing so serves our purposes.

There are many things that we say which evidence this mentality and when you hear them you should know that we are looking for you to respond. We want reassurance, praise, an admission of fault from you, confirmation that we are brilliant, an apology and for you to do what we want you to do.

Playing the victim card allows us to gain fuel from sympathy and compassion, assistance when we do not want to do something, absolution from responsibility and preventing you from doing something we do not want you to do.

Here are twenty cries of apparent victimhood.

You make my life so difficult.
Why are you treating me like this?
You never try to understand me,
What about me?
What am I going to do now?
How’s that supposed to make me feel?
You are meant to look after me.
It’s not my fault.
I can’t help the way I am.
Why must you be so difficult with me over this?
You never listen to me.
You always make it about you, never about me.
You never do what I want.
You don’t love me like you should.
You never do what I want.
You never let me speak.
You always treat me like a fool.
You are the reason for all of my problems.
You are trying to ruin my life.
Why do you do this to me?
Watch out for these comments from our kind because they are the foreshadowing of further manipulation of you.

7 thoughts on “20 Cries of the Victim

  1. Taryn says:

    The ones I hear the most are:
    * You never do what I want
    * You never listen
    * You don’t let me speak (though to be fair, I do interrupt, mainly because my mind is going 100 miles a minute and what goes through my mind often comes right out my mouth before I can stop it 🤦‍♀️)

    This morning he told me I’m a disappointment to many people. I replied, “Only to you.” He responded, almost under his breath, “Nah.” Wtf was that supposed to mean?? 🤔🤷‍♀️ I didn’t respond to that. He really can be an ass sometimes. 😠🖕

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You issued challenge fuel. His “nah” was rejecting your challenge and asserting control over you by being argumentative.

      1. Taryn says:

        That makes sense. Don’t know why I couldn’t figure that out.

        Thank you for explaining it so clearly, HG. You are amazing. ❤ It seems so simple now.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          You are most welcome.

  2. Pati says:

    What about me ? He always says that when I mention so and so e.g. they are nice or I am happy for their engagement, pregnancy or job promotion. What about me I do everything for you . He will switch it all back to him . He is never happy for anyone.

  3. Barbara says:

    “Oh……I’m sorry….I didn’t quite realise how much power I wielded over you” (#narccontroller)

  4. AR says:

    You never try to understand me – i said something similar to my ex narc once.

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