The Devil’s Pitchfork : The Three Bad Outcomes of Engaging With A Narcissist


How would you like to be on the receiving end of The Devil’s Pitchfork? It is sharp, cutting and naturally three-pronged, so that’s not one wound, not two, but three. Fancy that? Yes?

Of course not.

Yet that is what you are going to get if you continue to engage with us. You will receive at least one of those prongs and probably all three, either way you get hurt, you suffer, you lose.

Would you willingly allow yourself to be stabbed or impaled by a pitchfork or trident? No, you would not. Yet you allow this to happen through the metaphoric Devil’s Pitchfork because of continued engagement with our kind, narcissists.

What are those prongs?

1. Fuel

What else? If you engage with a narcissist you are highly likely, but not always, going to give us fuel. I will provide you with some scenarios below demonstrating instances where there is fuel provision and where it is absent, owing to engagement with the narcissist. This is the First Prong of The Devil’s Trident.

If you give us fuel, we are winning which means you are losing. Why? Because

a. You are giving us the very thing that we want and need;

b. You are reducing out unease from the lurking chasm and The Creature within;

c. You are making us feel more powerful;

d. You are increasing the risk of a future hoover.

Therefore if you are impaled by the First Prong, you lose and we win.

2. Adverse Consequence

If you engage with a narcissist you run the significant risk of an adverse consequence. Again, like fuel, this Second Prong may not always arise out of the engagement but is more likely to than it is not to.

This adverse consequence might be :-

  • The narcissist insulting you and thus upsetting you;
  • The narcissist triangulating you by flirting with someone else and making you feel worthless
  • The narcissist issuing a word salad making you feel confused and bewildered
  • The narcissist punching you causing physical injury
  • The narcissist withholding money from you, impacting on your daily life and possibly that of your dependents
  • The narcissist promising to call but failing to do so, hurting you through this future faking
  • The narcissist referring to past act you have committed making you feel embarrassed by dragging up the past
  • The narcissist ignoring you and staring at the television, confusing you and hurting you through this present silent treatment
  • The narcissist standing you up for a date, angering you, through an absent silent treatment

You know of the hundreds of different forms of manipulation that can occur and the downsides that arise from them ranging from the mild to the terrible.

If you do not engage with us, how can you be insulted, ignored, triangulated etc? By engaging you run the (significant) risk of being impaled on the Second Prong.

When you suffer an adverse consequence, you lose.

3. Increased Emotional Thinking

Emotional Thinking a.k.a. The Enemy Within.

The very thing that wants you to keep engaging (and thus keep getting impaled).

Every time you engage with us, you WILL increase your emotional thinking. This is the one prong that ALWAYS impales. The only way to avoid it, is to not engage.

If you engage with us in some way then you will increase your emotional thinking which means you will not follow logic, you will take action and decisions which are contrary to your best interests, you will continue your ensnarement, you will make the application and maintenance of your no contact regime far more difficult and you will keep being impaled by The Devil’s Pitchfork.

You must reduce your emotional thinking in order to Get Out and Stay Out. If you keep engaging with us, you will not achieve this and you will never achieve freedom.

When your emotional thinking rises, you lose.

By engaging you ALWAYS get impaled – it might be one prong, it might be two prong and often it will be all three prongs.

Let’s have some examples.

  1. The narcissist telephones you and you answer. The narcissist is pleasant and doles out some compliments, some charm and is benign. You are pleased and respond accordingly.

Prong One – you provide fuel. You lose, we win.

Prong Two – no adverse consequence occurs.

Prong Three – you are engaging, your emotional thinking therefore increases. You lose.

2. The narcissist turns up at your house demanding to speak to you because you have told his IPPS about your ongoing affair with the narcissist. You open the door and stand on the doorstep arguing with him.

Prong One – you shout, hurl insults, wave your arms around and get mad. You provide fuel. You lose, we win.

Prong Two – the narcissist issues threats, smashes a plant pot and hurls horrible insults. You are frightened by this. You suffer an adverse consequence. You lose.

Prong Three – your emotional thinking rises. You lose.

3. You are sat looking at pictures of the narcissist and wondering what the narcissist is doing and who he is with.

Prong One – no fuel is being provided.

Prong Two – you become upset thinking about the narcissist . You suffer an adverse consequence. You lose.

Prong Three – you are increasing your emotional thinking because this is a form of engagement. You lose.

4. You are spending time going around telling family and friends, the neighbours and the local homeless guy all about the nasty ways of the narcissist.

Prong One – no fuel is being provided by this act (however it is likely that these people will tell the narcissist what you are doing which will provide some fuel) Delayed win for us.

Prong Two – those listening may disagree with you, may disparage you, pass unfavourable opinion about what you are doing which angers/upsets/hurts/frustrates you . You suffer an adverse consequence. You lose.

Even if this does not happen, there is a risk the narcissist will learn about what you are doing and will retaliate which will generate an adverse consequence. You lose.

Prong Three – you are talking about and thinking about the narcissist, so you will increase your emotional thinking. You lose.

5. You throw battery acid over the prized car of the narcissist severely damaging it.

Prong One – no fuel is provided at the time if the narcissist is unaware. If the narcissist sees you doing it, fuel is provided. If the narcissist learns of it after the event, the narcissist will gain some Thought Fuel. We win/you lose.

Prong Two – you may face criminal charges, you may have to pay for the damage to be repaired, the narcissist may confront you and attack you. There is an adverse consequence. You lose.

Prong Three – you have increased your emotional thinking by acting in relation to the narcissist and thinking about the narcissist. You lose.

If you think about some form of engagement with the narcissist you will see (if you are using logic) that one or more of those prongs will impale you.

This is to be avoided.

This is why that whatever you may try to tell yourself, justify or advance as a reason, there is NEVER any good that will arise from the interaction with a narcissist because of The Devil’s Pitchfork.

To avoid it, you must control your emotional thinking and to do that you must impose a rigid and robust no contact regime.

Want to know how to do that?

Read my work and apply it and especially utilise these options

Zero Impact Assistance Package

Get Out, Stay Out Consultation



58 thoughts on “The Devil’s Pitchfork : The Three Bad Outcomes of Engaging With A Narcissist

  1. Mary Robinson says:

    I could be wrong, but I get a vibe HG doesn’t like me in virtual reality. He does not know me in real reality.

    1. Mary Robinson says:

      He doesn’t have to but I am hoping I’m just being paranoid about this.

      1. Mary Robinson says:

        Am I paranoid HG about you disliking me?

        1. HG Tudor says:


          1. Mary Robinson says:


          2. Pati says:

            Come on HG, you have a soft side to you .

          3. HG Tudor says:


          4. Pati says:

            You have a sense of humour .

          5. HG Tudor says:

            Of course I do.

          6. Pati says:

            I consider that a wonderful quality in someone .

        2. Alexissmith2016 says:

          Mary, he dislikes us all equally, so don’t worry about it xx

          HG, I really need to get up out of bed and make a nice cup of tea but I don’t want to miss any of your comments.

          Could you take a little break? Please x

          1. HG Tudor says:

            You can have 30 minutes. Why are you still in bed? You lazy bugger!

          2. Alexissmith2016 says:

            Ah you’re the best narcissist ever! Thank you x

            Working at home and it’s all cosy.

          3. HG Tudor says:

            You work in bed? I see…..

          4. alexissmith2016 says:

            Thanks for waiting. I’m back.

            You may continue

          5. HG Tudor says:


          6. alexissmith2016 says:

            You have though

          7. HG Tudor says:

            Yes, as I decided.

          8. alexissmith2016 says:

            I love you, I love you, I love you xxxx

          9. HG Tudor says:

            I know.

          10. NarcAngel says:


            Haha. Someone knows How To Make A Request To A Narcissist.

            You were civil and polite.
            It did not appear as a demand.
            You provided some flattery but did not go overboard.
            He is in the Golden Period with his IPPS which increases your chances.
            You made the request once only.
            The request was clear.

            You were successful and granted 30 minutes.

          11. HG Tudor says:

            All accurate but most of all it occurred only because it suited me. Remember, readers, you cannot control the narcissist, so if something happens which you wanted to happen, it because we wanted it to happen anyway.

          12. Mary Robinson says:

            Thanks Alex.

          13. alexissmith2016 says:

            Hahah thanks NA, love the way you link it back to ‘Making a request of the narcissist’ article!

            You’re right. It did work.

            ‘la la la la la’ I can’t see any further comments? do you?

          14. HG Tudor says:


          15. alexissmith2016 says:

            Still can’t see any? Only this one? Can you see anything NA?

          16. NarcAngel says:

            Hmmm…I wonder what prompted that huge lightening bolt to crack the sky.

            Also, where did Alexis go?

          17. HG Tudor says:


          18. alexissmith2016 says:

            I’m here, I’m here. It’s me NA, Alexis.

            I’m here down in the dungeon

          19. HG Tudor says:

            Ignore that. Just the wind.

          20. kel says:

            Was there an insinuation from HG that flew under the radar about working in bed? Sure the work this naughty nun gravatar does involves a laptop- er telecommuting. In any case I wasn’t expecting the clean (but excellent) observation from our cat woman, lol.

          21. Violetta says:

            HG, I liked the “Empire Strikes Back” allusion.

  2. Bubbles 🍾 says:

    Dear Mr Tudor,
    Only the other day, my mum tried to withhold some money she “owed” me claiming she’d already given it …….she had not
    I calmly corrected her and in that moment she knew not to mess with me (my instant glaring look of being insulted may have been a slight giveaway) haha
    I remindered her to check her finances as I provide her with all receipts and everything cent is accountable
    Mr Bubbles reassured mum I don’t make mistakes
    Naturally, no apology from her ….just “carry on” like nothing had happened …….. typical
    Thank you for being here Mr Tudor and all your scenario examples, it helps keep me on track and vigilant at all times
    Forever grateful
    Luv Bubbles xx 😘

  3. NotMe! says:

    The pitch fork analogy is very powerful and poignant. I just read Manipulated and after the tears, I wrote down examples of every single method mentioned. Whilst it made me feel wretched as it was like re-living. I’m hoping it will ‘fuel’ my resistance

  4. MB says:

    Speaking of impaling, I did a bit of research regarding Vlad The Impaler in preparation for my attendance at a performance of Dracula last evening. The images and descriptions of what impaling actual entailed was not pretty as was not good for my mental health! Thankfully, none of that happened during the performance.

    I did note however that the vampire dynamic was quite similar to the narcissistic dynamic. Dracula seduced, infected, subsumed, and controlled his victims.

    1. MB. Actually, Dear Vlad basically impaled disrespectful people that challenged his power in a disrespectful manner. He only did what many powerful people do when they can: Impale enemies one way or another. People are often stubborn, but over time, they got the message to not disrespect him. Somehow his true story has changed over time. into a sort of a fairytale like thing. History is written by the winner, but there are often remnants of the true stories around, I have discovered over time. I sort of like him. The true story about him. He hated disrespect. So do most of us. But most of us do not have the wherewithal to do much about being disrespected. I may research some of the true story about him again, once I rest from my little peek into the House currently styled as Windsor and slowly styling somewhat into Mountbatten-Windsor. That tiny bit of research was enough to last me quite for a while.

      1. MB says:

        PSE, you certainly have a different opinion of “Dear Vlad” than I formed from my reading. I would more readily label him a sadist and a violent psychopath. I couldn’t say “I like him” based on my research.

        Anyway, what your reference to the peek into the Windsor House?

        1. PrincessSuperEmpath says:

          MB: Regarding Dear Vlad: My overall taste in men may not be quite normal, I admit. And not always politically correct, that is for sure. And a little controlled malice in them does not bother me at all–as long as I am not on the receiving end of the malice, of course. My other reference: Anyway, I was looking into the house styled as Windsor during some posts the other day, that a few of us were discussing regarding men and abdications and women and thrones and fairy tales. What I saw with a small peek into the `Winsor` House background, since I knew little about it, is that The House styled as Windsor is still a very dense and deeply powerful House, when you look into their lineage and history, much of which is easily accessible on the Internet, after a little trial and error. And it is a smart House. And it is not easy at all to survive as a Monarchy for as long as they have. And, overall, they are not to be thought of lightly, or taken lightly, regarding substantive matters.

      2. lisk says:

        PSE, it sounds like it’s all about control, either way.

      3. Violetta says:

        His common people liked him, because he kept them safe.
        Rival nobility, however….

    2. Mary Robinson says:

      Yup, parasitic.

  5. Pati says:

    I pick up the same object right by my front door every day telling it my husband is A Narcissist you need to Get out .

    1. MB says:

      I hope you will consult with HG, Pati. Your home life and work life both revolving around the narcissist adds an extra layer of complexity to your entanglement.

      1. Pati says:

        I agree MB totally ,I will consult with HG soon !

  6. MB says:

    HG, do you believe in win/win situations? Is it always true that if there is a winner, there must be a loser?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I do.

      Reading my work and consulting with me is a win/win.

      Trying to take HG on – zero sum game. I win, challenger loses.

      Luckily for the vast majority of readers you get the win/win.

      1. MB says:

        Thank you HG. But only the “vast majority”…yikes! 😳

        1. HG Tudor says:

          The very small number of narcissists that come here, lose. Everybody else – it´s a win.

          1. MB says:

            True dat! Happy Sunday, HG 😊

          2. Mary Robinson says:

            UH OHC maybe I am the narc?

          3. MB says:

            No you’re not Mary!

          4. Mary Robinson says:

            MB, thanks .

  7. Pingback: The Devil’s Pitchfork : The Three Bad Outcomes of Engaging With A Narcissist ⋆ NarcTopia
  8. PrincessSuperEmpath says:

    Dearest HG: One of my Top 10 HG Tudor articles. A Logic Spap Down.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you and indeed it is.

      1. PrincessSuperEmpath says:

        Dearest HG: Thank you for understanding that I meant to say: A Logic SLAP Down. I am amazed what autocorrect and spell check allow to go through, and if I am blame shifting, those programs deserve to be blamed shifted onto. We have largely the autocorrect and spell check systems that are market Winners, but they are not the Best, in the least. I have seen way better ones but alas, many of those programs were defeated by this stuff. Sigh…. Anyway, The Devil’s Three Pronged Pitchfork article has stealthily eased me away from a lot of situational madness. Bravo. Amen.

      2. Lorelei says:

        Great! It’s excellent how well this makes sense. Giving nothing and ignoring is best.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Jolly good.

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