The Player Of Games
I love playing games. As I have written before, the games are always being played. I only ever play to win otherwise there is no point. I cannot lose and sit back and smile and accept it was nevertheless an enjoyable experience because if I was to lose then it could not be enjoyable. I would be accepting that you or someone else is better than me. You are not. He is not. They are not. I always have to win. In order to achieve this I operate by a particular set of rules. You think you know what those rules are because when we first come together I deign to play by your rules; I agree to operate by the systems and conventions of your reality. That is easy for me to do because everything is going swimmingly. I am seducing you and therefore you are letting me win because it feels good. I am content to go along with the pretence of agreeing that these are the rules of engagement. You think you are winning because you are getting this wonderful, generous and loving person. In reality, I am winning because I am receiving plenty of positive fuel from you.
It is thereafter that the rules alter because I decide (and it is always my decision) that we will now abide by the rules in my reality. You are not given a rulebook and you have to guess what those rules are. As soon as you think that you have grasped them and got a handle on them, they will suddenly change. It is akin to playing a game of football and I am winning three nil. You score two more goals and you are in the ascendancy and likely to equalise. There would normally be fifteen minutes to go but suddenly I change the rules so there is just one minute left. You fail to score and I win. You protest stating that is not the correct time but it does not matter because here I am the referee, the assistants and the fourth official and what I say goes. If you do not like it, tough. I will just pick up the ball and go home with it. It is like a game of darts where you have to start from 501 and end with a double. I on the other hand start from 51 and do not need a double. You claim it is not fair but why should I care about it? I have to win. Thus, you may realise that I enjoy a lie-in on a Sunday morning so you do not disturb me. I will purposefully set the alarm early and get up waking you early. Or if I do have a lie in, I will concoct some mystery appointment that I have missed because you let me lie in. When you wake me early the following Sunday I will erupt at you for being so selfish and not letting me sleep.
When you think have ascertained what the rules are they will alter. You will do your best to try and keep up but it is exhausting and frustrating. Yet, this manipulation of the rules to allow our kind to win does not end there. Goodness me no. Our driven desire to always be the winner means that not only will we sucker you by pretending to play by your rules and then change them; we will then change the game. One moment you think you are playing Monopoly and then I am telling you it was Professor Plum in the Study with the Candlestick.
“But that is Cluedo,” you will declare rather puzzled.
“I know,” I will smile in return.
“But we are playing monopoly.
“No we are not.”
“Yes we are, look this board has streets from New York on it.”
“No it doesn’t, those are rooms in the stately home.”
“What are you talking about? See here and here, street names.”
“Are you blind? Those are snakes and ladders.”
“What? You’ve changed it again.”
“No I haven’t. You are just making a fuss because you are losing.”
“What are you on about? I am not losing, I was winning.”
“Not at all. Check mate.”
“What?”
Our phenomenal capabilities for lying, blame-shifting, denial and reflection all mean that the game will change. You are wrong footed, unsure of yourself, confused and we keep on doing it. We must win, always and you have to lose, at your cost. We will apply all our methods of manipulation to ensure we are victorious and you lie sprawled in the dirt, broken and defeated. Our success has to be at everything and I mean everything, from the trivial to the substantial, Defeat is never an option for our kind and we will bend, twist and snap the rules and alter the game in order to achieve this. Now, let’s play a game. It is my favourite. You may know it. It is called Guess Who? You have no chance.
13 thoughts on “The Player Of Games”
Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)
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What if you understand how lovely Narc works, and are also amused by it. What if you go by his rules and just leave the game when it doesnt please you. There are many positive point to share relation with a narcissic. Like getting stronger, emotionally more balanced as you have to, to survive. Use them as teachers, because they can be the best. Especially if they do believe you are theirs, and that you will serve their needs forever. They wouldnt want you to be better than them (wich I understand is impossible) but they want you to thrive for their own sake.
The most comforting thing to me is when this narc (lesser-mid) dude tells me he doesnt understand, because i seem to be unreal. Either I love him and im the best thing that ever happened to him or I am the very best manipulative person he ever met and I still probably deserve the good he gives me because I am lol
So many time I smile inside and im fulfill.
Spleen vented xx
Then you are succumbing to emotional thinking and the problem you have is that your emotional thinking may well be at a level whereby you do not “just leave the game”. You are putting your head in the lion’s mouth when you know it is a lion and doing so is contrary to logic.
GOSO.
Ive seen I commented a year ago about pretty much the same thing, and here you are again giving me pretty much the same answer. There HAS to be something I do not get.
You tell me i’m succombing to emotional thinking. Fair enough, time to time, thats who I am.
Lets assume that I understand to the core what a Narc is.
Who am I suppose to learn from? Ive been surrounded by narcs all my life. They will remain, at least not so far, at least trying. GOSO would do what? Realize one is a narc, walking away until I meet the next one, until I realize, until I walk away… whitout getting better knowledge about myself and the way they opperate. That would just made me a stupid blind dumbass weak person, wouldnt it?
Im aware of my weakness. In the present case, my emotions.
Who could be better than you to help me thrive tru my weakneses? Of course it aint your plan, but its mine. I want power. At least over my own life.
I left this narc past summer for 6 months for work. He didnt want to but i did it anyways. Came back home for two weeks. Now in mexico for a month. Who knows whats next. Not the narc for sure.
Yes i put my head in lion’s mouth, why not if it feels confortable to do so at a given moment? If you get to know that lion. And if you know you will be surrounded by lions forever. What doesnt kill you makes you stronger they say. Or I could also walk with the lions without never knowing a thing. If I put my head in there and I get out of it alive, I am not gonna live a life of fear around the lions.
This is the last comment of mine on that topics.
Btw not sure, I believe to be a contagion supernova narcissist codependent saviour geyser empath… preeeeetty sure its possible. 😉
Much appreciation x
A game where only one person knows the rules is not a fair game. It’s all about winning at any cost…
When I realized I was being played a few years ago, I was in denial for a while. However, it was a first step to a big realization that has helped me to move on.
So grateful for the info! It’s a great reminder. thank you!
Hahaha checkmate!!!
That was so damned amusing to read! I’m sure I’ve read it before and probably already commented previously, but reading it again from a different state of mind…oh!! You just have to laugh!
It should sicken me, but there are parts to all of these crazy shenanigans that just tickle my funny bone now!
STBS
That you can laugh is a very good sign. Look for the humour in even the darkest corners and keep laughing.
Absolutely NA!
It’s taken awhile to see any funny aspects of narcery. Respect it, yes, amusing, no.
I have a very dark and twisted sense of humour already and now I can’t help but have a laugh when it’s due!
Funny is funny, right or wrong!! And damn me, but that was good!
NA and STBS,
“Life is a tragedy for those who feel and comedy for those who think”.
When my emotional thinking was at a high level and looking for answers, It was difficult to read HG’s articles and listen to his videos without feeling hurt and disgusted. To face harsh truth was too painful. But now some of his articles make me laugh.
AR
Good to hear – I’m glad you stuck with it. Keep reading, as it will slowly release you from the misery. Laughter absolutely helps alongside the information.
Dear NarcAngel,
Precisely
This is why I use humour … narcsville is extremely depressing, humour is my way of healing. It works !
😁
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
Bubbles
You’ve certainly kept yours. Narcs can be funny too, but it’s hardly ever on purpose.
Dear NarcAngel,
Mines kept in my DNA … haha
I have never found my narcs particularly funny…..maybe I just don’t appreciate THEIR sense of humour
Funny, my mum says to me “where’s your sense of humour” ..now that’s hilarious 🤣
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
Poor sport.