Scenting Blood
In our engagement with our appliances and especially with our primary sources, we are repeatedly seeking to extract fuel. We have been designed to draw those fuel providers into our grasp, from the colleagues that we work with, the relevant family members and friends so that rather than surround ourselves with appliances of limited function we ensure that all those who are attached to us are likely to provide us with fuel. As I have explained before, we like to preserve our energy and operate in an efficient and effective fashion. As part of that approach we like to ascertain if we can scent fuel in our interactions with you, in the same way that a shark smells blood in the ocean and knows that a bigger prize awaits. There are certain responses that you provide that immediately tell us that there is more fuel ready to be extracted. Just as how a tiny nick on your leg may cause droplets of blood to fall and be smelt by the predatory shark, there are certain things that you will say to us that tells us that we should dive straight in and seize the advantage. There are comments that you will make which indicates to us that you are holding a reservoir of fuel just under the surface and all we need to do is slice you open and gorge on that waiting fuel. Your response tells us that your emotion is there, just a few moments away from being extracted, seized and gathered, so that rather than attend to something else we are best served by focusing our efforts on you.
It is akin to staring at a vast body of water behind a glass partition. We want that body of water to come gushing forward, engulfing us and cascading over us. We do not wish to dedicate the time to hammering away at this toughened glass in the hope of eventually making it crack. We do not want to expend our energy chiselling and drilling but instead we want to find the weak spot. We want to identify that flaw, that weakness, that opening, which means that with the careful application of pressure, the edifice will shatter and the water will come surging over us in an instant. You are no different. You are filled with fuel. That is why we chose you. You might be a co-dependent super tanker of fuel that requires the hull to be holed, you may be a super empathic fuel well which just needs to be drilled or an empathic fuel pump where one pinprick in the hose will allow the fuel to spurt out. You are a walking fuel depot and at times we can do just one thing, say one thing and the fuel will come fountaining from you, shooting out of you, gushing from you, ready for us to suck it all up, gorging on your delicious and potent fuel and drinking deep of your vast resources.
It is you that gives us the indication that you are ready to flow with fuel, that the dam can easily be breached and once you provide that indication to us, it only takes a small amount of pressure, a modicum of application and the most straightforward of manipulations to cause you to burst and we gain so much fuel. You are teetering on the brink of providing the fuel, it is almost spilling over there is so much of it and you tell us that it is there, often in just one sentence and then we apply the pressure and the geyser erupts.
These indications are applicable to both positive fuel and negative fuel. The comments in themselves will provide some slight amount of fuel but they are indicators, gateways telling us that in that moment there is a whole host of additional fuel ready to be tapped and it is easy to do so. This is why when you provide us with the positive indicators we dive in and invite you to expand on the point that you have made, the comments that you have shared because we know that there is more behind what you have said and we want it. It becomes even more evident when with the negative indicators. These really are a green light for us to satiate our fuel lust in the way that a pugilist would satisfy his bloodlust. You have waved the key in front of us through your comment and we will focus on that comment and what it signifies in order to get at the fuel that is hoarded behind it.
Should you say them to us you should be aware that you have just telegraphed that there is fuel to be gained and whatever we might have been doing will be forgotten as we turn and fix our eyes on you. Like the cruising shark, the scent of blood has been detected and easy and satisfying prey is well within reach. Our cold jaws will be clenched around you as we puncture you and begin to slurp on the surfeit of fuel. What then are these indicators, what should you be aware of what is it that you say which tells us that there is fuel ready and waiting to be extracted, exploited and consumed?
The Positive Indicators
- I love you
- How did you manage to do that?
- There is nobody like you.
- Where did you get that shirt from?
- That was amazing.
- That is an outstanding result.
- I could listen to you talk for hours.
- I could kiss you forever.
- I would die for you.
- I cannot imagine being anywhere else right now other than with you.
- I have finally found what I have been searching for.
- If I died now, it would not matter.
- I don’t know what I would do without you.
- I would do anything for you.
- I belong to you.
The Negative Indicators
- Where have you been?
- I hate you right now.
- Don’t leave me.
- Why must you hurt me like this?
- Who is she?
- I just need to feel loved.
- I miss you still.
- Is that it?
- What about me?
- You are being unfair.
- Please listen to me.
- Don’t shout at me.
- I don’t understand.
- Please talk to me.
- Please stop.
- I need to sleep.
- Please be reasonable.
- It is my birthday.
- Please, for my sake, just do it.
- You are scaring me now.
Let the feeding frenzy commence.
Although this is not a “comment”, I have found that a stated willingness to help and/or share (which may tie up with +ve comment #14), especially at the expense of a personal sacrifice, sends a strong signal.
Excellent to be wary of for the future. I’m not sure if or when I said anything off list one. But from watching me on social media for yrs ( ya yrs!), he knew a few key points that made me a good target. He likes petite women, so he knew that. From my Facebook page he could have ascertained I’m single, and pet pictures were a good guess at my being an empath. But he had also watched the pics and trips as I took care of my dying Mother ( he’s doing same), and knew she passed away. I think that was the Key “strike now” thing he saw. He struck just after Mom passed, when I ran into him at our professional conference. He approached me (for 2nd yr in a row) and told me how sorry he was. He was so familiar like I knew him for yrs, but he was a stranger to me. I thought it was strange, but it did not set off alarms. Now I know better.
From the first list I only told him 3 things off of it . He said I love you first , I didn’t respond in kind immediately. I was somewhat sceptical that he said it so soon after we began dating.
Off the second list , same . I said maybe 3 things off of it .
I never presented myself as someone desperate to have him when we were dating, i wasn’t. I had “options” and he knew it . He dumped all his other girlfriends to date me, that was my prerequisite. I don’t date multiple people at the same time. Wish I had chosen one of those other options in hindsight!
Despite being devalued numerous times over the years, I have never begged him to stay , I have TRIED to hold him accountable for his despicable behaviors. He’d always come round ( reduced substance abuse and behavior changed) , or so I thought , it always repeated itself every few years.
I always thought his fucked up behaviors were a direct result of his substance abuse problem, until I learned the word “ narcissism” . I think he has the substance abuse problem because of the narcissism.
Marriage, starting a family right away , I was in too deep to do anything else but learn to keep my head above water and try to keep a peaceful household for my children. AND , I loved him , only God knows why after all the turmoil and misery he’s created for me.
I’m a fixer by nature, a problem solver, a negotiator, a peacemaker, when I see conflict I like to address it head on and be done with it . Can’t be done with my narc , he can pretend it’s fixed to appease me , but clearly he continues to pull the same BS behind my back time and time again.
He’s ( IMHO) been looking for someone better for decades, new IPPS . You mean to tell me in 3 decades he couldn’t accomplish that?! Suppose I should be flattered!
I wish I could post a snap of his DLS , my God , she looks like a man in drag . No offense to drag queens .