HG´s Christmas Captives – Santa Claus

Santa Claus.png


Our final member of the accused is the big man himself, Santa Claus. Ready your arguments, ponder his fate, consider the summary of information below and then cast your vote. Use it wisely, Christmas hangs in the balance….


Summary of Information for Santa Claus


Spends all year watching children and making notes about them

Enters people’s houses at night with level of expertise that puts a professional burglar to shame

Claims to visit every child in one night

Chronic over eater

Provides toys to all deserving children

Provides coal to all misbehaving children

Utilises elves as indentured servants in with questionable pay and conditions

Is unnaturally jolly, all of the time

Utilises several aliases, being known as Saint Nicholas, Kris Kringle, Father Christmas, Saint Nick

Favours following food and drink – milk, cookies, mince pies, sherry, Guinness, rice pudding with cinnamon sugar, beer, Christmas pudding

Demonstrates flagrant lack of accountability by drink-flying (see above)

Married to Mrs Claus for centuries, one allegation of mischief re someone’s mother and a stolen kiss

Fabulously wealthy as demonstrated by generosity in supply of billions of toys each year

Owns multiple residences at the North Pole, Greenland, Drøbak in Norway, ZIP code 99705 in the USA, postal code H0H 0H0 in Canada, Mora in Sweden, Korvatunturi in Finland

Hugely charismatic and brings joys to billions

Entirely reliant on the belief of others in order to exist


What is Santa Claus?

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25 thoughts on “HG´s Christmas Captives – Santa Claus

  1. Foreigner74 says:

    Dear Santa, for Christmas I would like you to bring me a new episode of the “Knowing H.G.” series. It could also be about how our glorious lord will spend his Christmas day this year if He wants to share with us. I know that you, dear Santa, have no power over H.G. but I beg you to leave my humble requests to his magnificent will. Thanks in advance. More his than yours faithfully Foreigner74.

  2. Kasia says:

    In my mind Santa Claus is like a narcissist because Santa Claus is “Entirely reliant on the belief of others in order to exist” it’s just like a narcissist. He pretends to be a very good, fantastic person and this fantastic person is real when you believe that he’s real. When you realise that that “fantastic person” is not real, you see his other personality and you realise that person you loved was just in your imagination. It’s the same like Santa Claus, when you realize he’s not real it’s over, he’s gone.

    1. Esther says:

      Great conclusion Kasia! 🙂👍🏼

  3. Bubbles 🍾 says:

    Dear Mr Tudor,
    Santa is definitely a giver, never raises his voice or argues
    Everyone knows him, most people have been friends with him most of their lives and he knows everyone by their name
    He’s got a beautiful big heart and a belly to match
    He doesn’t have a mean bone in his body
    He also doesn’t have time to shave, he’s too busy reading letters …such a dedicated hard worker
    He’s an emotional eater because of all those horrid people he has to put up with
    Sniveling snotty nosed kids, crying babies, getting kicked n bullied, being fat shamed
    Parents being cruel and saying he’s not real
    He only ever hears …I want I want I want … all year round !
    Yet after all that, he remains happy jolly and always says ho ho ho to everyone no matter how rude they are to him
    He luvs his reindeers and kids to bits and to me that makes him the biggest empath in the world
    Luv Bubbles xx ❤️🎅🏼❤️

  4. FYC says:

    After a brief recess, the Honorable Judge returned to his perch to pronounce judgement, just in time for Christmas.

    But before the verdict could be delivered, a messenger burst into the courtroom and delivered a file to the prosecution. The crowd of people in attendance erupted in a flurry of loud exclamations. The gavel hammered the restless group into a hushed silence. With a stunned, but jubilant look, the prosecutor passed the file to the Judge. His Honor read silently, then declared: “Due to new, incontrovertible evidence, the prosecution is dropping all charges in the matter of the People vs. Nicholas Claus.

    The Judge went on to explain that the new evidence demonstrated that the one and only Nicholas Claus had lived long ago and he did indeed make and deliver presents for children far and wide. He was a lovely man, adored by all. He loved children and animals and treated all with respect and kindness. But eventually he grew old and passed on like any mortal. But his township gathered together and decided to have a new villager become Santa in his stead so that he would never be forgotten. This tradition has been passed down through the generations to keep the spirit of giving alive, so every child would know the spirit of Christmas.

    As you can imagine, many types of people have held this position over time. As the world has become more affluent and social media more prolific, many people in the world became more narcissistic. It was bound to happen that a narcissist would one day seize the opportunity to take over this role. To control everyones holiday, gather copious quantities of fuel and keep the glory all to himself. This is where we find ourselves today. The current Santa is little more than a poor, commercialized version of what once was a noble effort by a great man. Since “Santa Claus” is a position held by many, and not one single Santa, it is not possible to charge this imposter as the real Nicholas Claus. Therefore, all charges were dropped and new new charges have been entered for one Mr. Narcamus E. Gocentric, impersonator of Nicholas Claus. The court was adjourned.

    As the crowd filed out, they hurled insults in the direction of Mr. Gocentirc and cheered for the clearing of Santa’s reputation. A renewed peace and joy settled across the land. In the distance, a faint, “Ho ho ho, Merry Christmas!” could be heard. The tradition would never end. A true testament to the eternal spirit of Christmas.

    1. FoolMe1Time says:

      Thank you FYC that was brilliant! 👏👏👏 🙇‍♀️

      1. FYC says:

        FM1T, I felt too guilty leaving Santa a narcissist with the possibility of anyone being annoyed on Christmas Day, so I threw in a plot twist for a happy ending. Thank you for your kind words!

        1. FoolMe1Time says:

          Always the empath FYC. 🥰

  5. AnneB says:

    Happy Christmas All! Ran out of time. In summary Scrooge – normal but effed up. Based on others’ comments as can’t recall the story in sufficient detail;, John Mclane-Narcissistic, general impression only, not enough info to determine Narcissist, doesn’t appear to seek control and fuel (unconsciously) with all interactions; Santa, empath – had to think what does he get out of bringing so much joy? Not really fame – that is for most of the year no-one gives a toss about him, does he mind? apparently not. Could be getting fuel from elves in the build up to xmas in workshop and whilst delivering presents, but an N could not survive solely on thought fuel sitting at the north pole for the majority of the year.

    Hope everyone gets through/enjoys/loves (tick applicable) their Christmas Days!

  6. FYC says:

    Your Honor and gentle people of the jury,

    It is with a heavy heart that I must prosecute a beloved icon. I take no pleasure it, I assure you. But, in the interest of truth and justice, I would be remiss not to offer the complete set of facts for everyone’s consideration. I therefore shall take on the task of my job, with the caveat that for many, this icon represents the spirit of giving and that spirit is indeed noble and good. Now, let us review the facts in evidence on Mr. Claus:

    One Nicholas Claus, AKA Santa Claus, and various other aliases, has been taking credit for the giving of gifts across the entire globe, yet there is no evidence to suggest this claim is accurate. According to subpoenaed records from VISA, MasterCard and American Express, the greater bulk of spending is made by parents and loved ones and the evidence of every purchase is detailed to each specific item and appears on a year-end statement. An investigation of items received by all parties matches nearly perfectly to these financial records. It is well known that narcissists appropriate the good works of others, claim the credit and revel in the stolen accolades for themselves.

    Like any narcissist, Mr. Claus is well known for his inability to maintain whole object orientation. As a result, he lies in judgement of all, he alone determines whether one is naughty or nice. If one is painted white, he claims to give many gifts for good behavior, if painted black, one receive a lump of coal. No middle ground. Good, bad, white, back, right wrong and no in-between. Clearly another defining trait of a narcissist and one that reinforces his need for total control. Further, Mr. Claus violates several statutes on illegal surveillance. He claims to see everyone when they are sleeping even. He does not obtain warrants, nor permission of people and possess no such supporting documentation. The court must address these clear violations on privacy rights.

    Sadly, Mr, Claus suffers from delusions of grandeur. He tells the story, and indeed believes his own lies, that he alone with the help of his reindeer, distributes gifts to every man, woman and child the world over in one night at no cost to any recipient. There is absolutely no evidence to support this grandiose claim. Even Jeff Bezos, the wealthiest of Santa’s brethren, takes a minimum of two days to deliver any goods at no additional cost on a variety of goods (but not ALL goods), and even then Bezos charges $119 annually for such a partial service and does not deliver to all locations around the globe. If Mr. Clause made good on his ridiculous claims, all starving children would have food or a toy each year–every single one–and yet this is not the case. Would a loving Santa omit the poorest among us? I think not. No, sadly asserting such unbelievable claims, Mr. Claus demonstrates yet another all to common narcissistic trait.

    Perhaps a more disturbing fact that has surfaced is Mr. Claus’ unusually and highly questionable interest in minors. As previously mentioned, Mr. Claus readily admits to surveilling children. He makes thinly veiled threats to children to submit to his will or forego a present. He travels far and wide to have young children sit on his lap and ask for favors of him–even against their will while they proceed to scream and cry. Mr. Claus has been witnessed lasciviously asking young ladies to sit on his lap as well. This is clearly inappropriate behavior. He even goes one step further and tells children he plans to sneak into their homes through the chimney at night while they sleep. At no time does he seek the approval of the minor’s parents or legal guardians. This poor boundary recognition and lack of awareness or empathy is yet another hallmark trait of a narcissist.

    Mr. Claus demonstrates tremendous entitlement. He asks the people of the world to leave him free food and drink for his unauthorized visits. It is well known that Mr. Claus denies himself nothing and overindulges on a regular basis, only to continue on this journey to the next subject without concern for his blood alcohol content. It has also been demonstrated that Mr. Claus does not have a valid drivers license nor pilots license. Such entitlement and disdain for the law is also indicative of narcissism.

    While it may be true that Mr. Claus demonstrates tremendous wealth, and maintains homes around the world, he is also known to maintain a large secret, workforce under ice, composed of trafficked elves that perform all manner of work at Mr. Claus’ bidding. These elves have reported they suffer crowded work conditions and icy cold surroundings, yet they are expected to work tirelessly for months on end with out a break. Mr. Claus refuses to permit inspections by outsiders and therefore it in violation of regulatory labor standards. It is unclear what, if any salary, these elves make. There is no evidence of any tax returns by anyone, and none respond to repeated audit attempts. No one has ever been able to pin down Mr. Claus and hold him accountable. Yet another indicative narcissistic trait.

    Yes, it is true that Mr. Claus is overwhelmingly jolly on the surface, but this is merely his facade, effectively used to garner fuel form his tremendous fuel matrix. This facade is incredibly effective. He is praised and adored by literally hundreds of millions the world over. We give Claus credit here, because never before has a narcissist come up with such an effective scheme, that garners so much fuel, he can literally shelf these many millions of secondary sources for 11 months out of the year! Every year! When shelved, Mr. Claus relies primarily on negative fuel form his legions of elves and both positive and negative fuel from Mrs. Claus (who is a very sweet, long-suffering and enabling co-dependent who bakes cookies to keep Mr. Claus in a favorable mood and gives him hot toddies to ensure Mr. Claus passes out so she can avoid being too close to his enormous girth and waxy beard. Mrs. Claus lives for December 24/25. She has a regularly scheduled nature retreat and it is the only night she sleeps soundly. She remains dutifully married to Mr. Claus because she knows that beneath his facade lies a fearful creature that threatens his very existence. He has often told her that if people were to stop believing his claims, he fears he would cease to exist. As you know, your honor, it is a common practice for any narcissist to seek out a secure an empath IPPS such as Mrs. Claus. It is also notable that the Claus’ never had children. When questioned about this, Mrs Claus stated in a soft, trembling voice, “I wanted children, but Mr. Claus said ‘Hmm, even though he would no doubt be a chip off the old block, I have no interest in being upstaged by anyone, not even my own. Don’t you have some baking to do? You know Mrs. Smith baked me some delicious cookies and give me a kiss!'”

    After enduring a centuries long and difficult marriage, Mrs. Claus has finally decided to get help. Earlier this year, the traumatized daughter of the narcissist Tree Angel, recommended Mrs. Claus visit narcsite.com and purchase a narc detector followed by an audio consult. She did so and now plans on purchasing the Assistance Package “Divorcing the Narcissist” so she can GOSO and maintain no contact to finally achieve Zero Impact.

    It is sad indeed to learn these details of the man behind the facade, but the truth must prevail, Your Honor. Mr. Clause is not the true meaning of Christmas, he is merely a jolly, effective narcissist, with an impressive facade, who has usurped and capitalized on a host of pre-existing holiday traditions. The true meaning of Christmas will never fail to exist and the love and joy of giving will continue forever, because the true spirit of Christmas lives in us all. The prosecution rests.

  7. K says:

    C’mon! Santa’s an Empath, although the evidence is incriminating.

    1. AnneB says:

      too right, K.

      1. K says:

        Hahaha…Santa’s getting a bum rap!

  8. Violetta says:

    Narcissist. He can afford all those gifts, but he only does it for control. Were you bad enough to deserve coal? Ooh, better not pout or cry: he’s watching you.

    It’s all an excuse so he can spy on kids in their beds. Don’t forget, during the daytime he’s got kid after reluctant kid sitting on his lap at the mall. Sometimes, he offers them candy.

    Wotta perv.

    1. Esther says:

      True statement Violetta! And indeed, Santa Claus is a pervert for sure lol.

  9. Esther says:

    He is a narc in my opinion.. the behavior matches it. He is a creep if you really think about it and analyze his behavior as stated above. Smh lol

  10. Wildflower says:

    Hi. Ive not commented here before. I could use some advice. Im a strong cookie. Im truly something different. Ive taken on my narc and his monkey for months with little damage to myself. The occassional tear that never lasted long and was really only shed knowing such evil existed. I never lowered myself to his ways against him. My brain has just looked after my empath heart and ive ignored any blackness trying to plant itself in me and control me. Fact over feeling basically. Hes obsessed. Today i called him an a hole (sorry for bad word lol.) and laughed at his monkey. What can i expect now. Lol. I could really use ur words mr Tudor. 🙂 Thank u.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Welcome Wildflower. To receive specific input on your situation I need more information from you and need to give you more information, therefore you should arrange a consultation with me.

      1. Lorelei says:

        Happy holiday HG!

  11. Chihuahuamum says:

    Super empath all the way!! He busts his butt every yr regardless of weather to deliver all those presents! He smiles and puts up with crying kids on his lap and kids who try to pull his beard off. No sleigh heating he freezes his butt off! All to make the children happy! Hes always thinking of their feelings and never his own! He is most definitely a super empath!!

  12. Pati says:

    I think he is an Empath. Santa brings joy to lots of children every year. Its tradition and part of Christmas. Elf on a shelf is also tradition and if you touch him he loses his powers.
    HG i wish you a Merry Christmas !

  13. BL says:

    As one of the bag humbuggers amongst us, I present the real Santa Claus:
    -claims to visit every child in one night, a grandiose statement that is the first the 5 year old questions and parents are left to make excuses for
    -tells children he sees them when they’re sleeping, which is creepy and instills a fear that only a child hater can appreciate
    -We all know that fat arse isn’t fitting down a chimney (the next thing the 5 year old questions) so if he gets in your house, rest assured that he has sweet talked his way in
    -“provides” toys to children? More like takes credit for all the time and money exhausted parents have put into saving the day from his never ending stream of lies
    -mean to helpless elves who were tricked into thinking they were doing good by making toys for children (see above re parents do all the work). With no where else to go and no way to escape the isolation of the North Pole, they continue working all year round making toys that Santa sells on eBay
    -reliant on the belief of others in order to exist…. it takes most kids about 10 years to see Santa for who has really is and then Christmas becomes a disappointment and reminder of the lies they’ve been told.

    My verdict: narcissist.
    Merry Christmas to you all (seriously) and thank you all, especially HG, for being a constant source of sanity! 🌲💗

    1. FoolMe1Time says:

      Merry Christmas BL and a very blessed narc free New Year!

  14. cogra002 says:

    Ya, Santa is a super empath angel. His characteristics seem strange and grandiose because it’s hard to believe someone is that kind and generous. I believe in Santa 🎅!

  15. Claire says:

    I do believe the good old bloke is an Empath.
    And herewith I would like express my eternal gratitude to our non traditional Santa who gives us so many priceless presents during the whole year – the person behind the initials HG .
    Thank you very much ,HG Tudor for your tremendous brilliant work – for the articles on this marvellous blog, for the eye opening books, for the Christmas Recitals and the Advent Surprise, for the consultations.
    For your kind big heart assisting those in much need for free, for setting up the AAF and thus, making some of us better persons and others – free from the narcissistic abuse.
    For your time and patience to answer a myriad of questions that we ask.
    Thanks to you, Master I have a pleasant, calm , Narc free Christmas.
    If I didn’t had your help I would still be entangled by my ex Narc and the other Narc.

    May you have a wonderful Christmas with your girlfriend and your family.
    May a Christmas miracle comes through and you feel the love , the joy, the peace and the hope that Christmas brings.

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