Inanimate Appliance
I have a fascination for inanimate objects. Show me a beautiful watch with its intricate mechanism on display and I shall sit transfixed for a long time admiring the craftsmanship in this creation. I like to touch one of my favourite suits relishing the sensation of the cloth. I will hold it up pleased with the way it hangs and then of course admire how I wear it in the mirror. A sculpture, a painting, a car or a piece of jewellery. They all invite my admiration. They are items of beauty and superiority and as such firmly belong in my world. Moreover, they do exactly what I want. I love my dishwasher. It always works. I press the buttons and it obeys my commands, quietly churning away as it removes the residue from the expensive crockery. The glassware comes out shining, without streaks or marks. Each and every time. Objects are reliable. They perform as I require them to perform. I love nothing more than an appliance. It complies, it obeys and it delivers. I love possessions.
I love to possess you and make you an inanimate object. That is how I see you. You are an appliance which I expect to do as I demand.You are but an extension of me, placed here to carry out my demands and whims. I like to attach brand names to my ex-girlfriends. Becky was Zanussi – she was good at science, thus she was the appliance of science. Sarah was Nike since I had to tell her to Just Do It.(she called me Burger King – have it your way, I quite liked her).Another was Energizer as she kept going and going and going (but that’s another tale). I like to think I am Tag Heuer (Success. It’s a Mind Game).I objectify everybody and assess how they can be a good appliance to me. Once that is done I have to acquire the appliance. I have possession of you and you must act as I dictate. All my other possessions do, so why should you be any different?
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he was forever fascinated with clocks. in his youth, he would spend hours carefully studying the craftsmanship of these various time keepers. some were more generic like those rectangular digital radio-clocks everyone had in the 80s. others were more rare and intricate, antiques. he would carefully take them apart, piece by piece and attempt to rebuild them. over and over again. but he always ended up disappointed because he could never fully restore them and make them work. it was a precursor of things to come, I suppose.
But devices and machines do break down sometimes – isn’t that annoying? The more of them you own, the more you need to maintain, or even if you just discard them, getting new ones is an effort.
This reminds me of something from my childhood – collectors. I was surrounded by people who collected things because my father was one and he tended to make friends via his hobbies. Is collector mentality and narcissism linked somehow? There was one guy in that circuit I would definitely describe as a narc now, thinking back. I was okay with most of my dad’s friends and some became my own friends as well, but that one guy I could not stand. He was also always chasing me and tried to squeeze some admiration out of me, but I just despised him more and more and was avoiding him whenever possible. He also frequently tried to dominate my father’s group of friends, not with his personal qualities, competency, knowledge etc (those are things I would have appreciated) but with his social status. Very superficial and annoying otherwise and obviously no sense of appropriate boundaries. I am sure he must have sensed that I disliked him but the more I tried to avoid the more he expressed entitlement to my attention. I have no clue why it seemed so important to him – I was a young kid when we met and he was like 40 years older. Maybe avoidance provided him with negative fuel or simply he just could not accept someone’s lack of interest? He also frequently called me and the other females around him “cat” – just thinking about the pet names now. I hated that as well.
Last time I saw him was at my dad’s funeral a few years ago, he gave a speech there about my dad’s accomplishments but definitely blended it with his stuff (they did some work together). I was so disgusted by it, it was super hard to remain somewhat neutral and polite when he came to me to express condolences. That speech was also weird – I organized everything about the funeral and he knew it, but would not tell me in advance (we even spoke on the phone the day before), just stood up in the ceremony and started talking. I seriously felt like saying something rude to him but of course didn’t, there was a large crowd of people. I never thought about him in the context of narcissism before but now I easily recognize the traits. He was a university professor and department chair and I heard many of his colleagues also disliked him, one reason because he stole their ideas and published them. He used to collect many different things (including objects, exotic plants and dead animals) and often boasted about his collections.
Dear Mr Tudor,
Mr Bubbles is my “leccy blanket ” cos he’s so hot
He calls me his “white tornado” cos I come out of nowhere, clean, tidy up, cook or whatever and get things done in a jif
Does that mean we’re narcs ? 🤣
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
I think that makes you both very cute, Bubbles.
Dearest Sweetest,
Awe schucks sweet pea ☺️
Mwah 💋
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
“All my other possessions do, so why should you be any different?”
Because suck yo mudda, that’s why 😊
But on a serious note, like I said previously you have unrealistic expectations, hence why people want to leave you or cheat (if they aren’t co-dependent.) just like we can’t control our narc, our narcs aren’t truly able to control us either because they will always find a grievance with our behaviour and we will never 100% allow the narc to have their own way. So believing you have complete control over anyone is part of the narcissist’s delusion.
Indeed however that is why you are shelved or disengaged and we assert control elsewhere. Control is all, if that means swapping the appliances, that is what happens and we know who that hurts more.
He’s got a point mind. We all know who that hurts more!!! Oh that did make me laugh. Say what you like about them Witch, but the N’s win everywhich way. Unless of course…we ignore them and enjoy a Narc free life
Hi Notme,
That is your view.
It is my view that there are nuisances within the narc/empath dynamic that are more complex than the black and white stance of winning vs losing. I don’t believe there is an ultimate winner or loser.
I can say I won over my narc by ending the relationship and going no contact. He would probably say he manipulated me into ending the relationship because he didn’t want to be with me (in that moment in time.)
There is some truth in both perspectives.
Hi Witch, my comment was tongue in cheek tbh. I don’t think N vs E is simple at all, nor black and white or win/lose. I escaped an entanglement but I am no winner as I wasn’t playing a game. I lost 2 years of my life amongst other things. I don’t know or care whether he feels he won or lost. My agreement with HG’s comment ‘we all know who that hurts most’ stands however and it’s not the N.
True, we hurt more due to our capability of experiencing a wider range of emotions.
However, disengagement and shelving is indictative that you are only able to assert control for a moment, which makes your view of yourself as ominpotent is delusional (not just you personally but all narcissists)
For most because they are not as skilled at the maintenance of control as I am.
Your narcissism is overriding your logical thinking. Yes you are probably one of the most skilled at manipulation given that you are an elite greater. However, if you have ever Shelved, disengaged or an IPPS has managed to escape, this is all indicative that your view of yourself as omnipotent is delusional. It doesn’t mean that you’re not an expert in manipulation it just means you’re not omnipotent.
Wow witch I’m in awe. You hit the nail on the head.
Witch, I agree with what you’re saying from an empaths perspective. We dont see things in black and white but a narcissist does, therefore their view of control is all that matters.
Nicely put Witch! Power to the Es
Of course we know that doesn’t apply to you though HG
We win when we stop caring whether he cares. He who cares to control still continues to care. We cut entanglements. Narcs can’t. To me, that’s winning. We may hurt in the meanwhile, but hurting doesn’t mean losing.
Sweet P:
So narcs punish the people who care about them, and ignore the people who don’t care.
That’s a great way to reduce the number of people who care about you.
Of course, they can go seek new fuel, but as mobility and physical charm diminish with age, this becomes less practical.
If you’ve read or seen Dangerous Liaisons, Valmont thinks he can still Hoover Mme de Tourvel after he has treated her with open contempt (at the instigation of be Mme de Merteuil). It’s not stated whether he really loves her and pretends he doesn’t because Mme de Merteuil would despise his weakness (per the Forman version) or he doesn’t love her and pretends he does because it’s a Hoover (Frears, and Hampton’s original play), but he doesn’t get her back.
Possibly because they both die anyway.
Yes but I don’t only mean I don’t care for his well-being anymore; I simply just don’t care. He is just an anecdote.
Witch
CoD here. Left and cheated! Once again another misconception about someone that is CoD.
@foolme1time
I’m sorry for my thoughtless comment about CoD’s. I’m proud of your cheating and leaving
No apology necessary Witch. It really isn’t that important anyhow.
I was driving yesterday and there was a car in front of me with a decal that said “you just got passed by a toaster”. I thought to myself “Hmm I wonder if it’s anyone I know from KTN”.
I have no idea what the decal means but funny my first thought was us, the readers here. Personally, I would want a Ninja blender sticker.
That amused HG.
Omg hysterical.
Mercy. I have a Ninja. Do they work well? I’ve yet to try it out.
Lorelei, I love mine. I try to eat a spinach or kale smoothie everyday. The single serve is handy. You should try yours
why, though? I like nice things….a lot. I appreciate them but they do not make me feel different about myself. I like the smell of that Prada bag when you pull it out of its dust bug. The smell of that sweet leather and the feel of is of butter. Reminds me of that moment in Milan when I pulled it out of the stiff white bag with the blue ribbon handles as soon as I got back into the car from purchasing it. Orgasmic really.
I love the hand-painted Fendi glasses that I got while casually walking down the streets of Pisa and saw them in the window. Or the Chanel bag that I lovingly call Sasha after the man that assisted me at the store on M avenue. I mean really I LOVE fine things. The silk wraps from Mauritius. The 60 dollar a shot tequila. Oh my gosh I could go on.
But I don’t identify with these things. I only adore them. They are what I like.
But why do you guys like them? I’m supposing for a status symbol to make yourself feel good? To exert the control and power of your colleagues? I love to be in an old flannel and dirty old jeans while sporting my black leather LV bag. It doesn’t matter, its about the “look” I’m giving off not the actual accessory.
And as far as I”m concerned. If you look at me with the same desire I look at chanel, well, shit, I’m okay with that! Just kidding…well…..
simgasongy
Ahh but you DO identify with them.
I think you might benefit from rereading the article. I couldve almost identified with your post right until final sentence of the penultimate paragraph.
Singasongy, have you thought of adopting a friend lately?
Ha ha come on! European vacation girl